Am I reading too much into it? Weird relationship between my dad and SIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL does the same thing with my FIL (not related by blood). She comes from a f'ed up family and I figure this is how she behaved with her many stepfathers. Was gross 20 years ago, but is just pathetic-looking for both of them now. Really bums out FIL's daughter and the rest of us non-blood relatives make fun of them in private.

Oh, that's lovely. You recognize her behavior probably comes from a dysfunctional background and you make fun of her.

[Anonymous]

"Wow, Dad. You've been giving a LOT of attention to Olga."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL does the same thing with my FIL (not related by blood). She comes from a f'ed up family and I figure this is how she behaved with her many stepfathers. Was gross 20 years ago, but is just pathetic-looking for both of them now. Really bums out FIL's daughter and the rest of us non-blood relatives make fun of them in private.

Oh, that's lovely. You recognize her behavior probably comes from a dysfunctional background and you make fun of her.

She has been in years of therapy and is a 50+ year old grown woman who knows better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Wow, Dad. You've been giving a LOT of attention to Olga."

This is OP I've been accused of jealousy so many times sometimes deservingly that I lack credibility with my dad to say something like that. I guess another thing that really bugs me is that her kids get preferential treatment. With my brother stuck with his laptop, it's me my dad and SIL spending all the time together and I am beginning to feel like a third wheel. So naturally I am a little defensive and jealous. Like they have this bond that he and I should have. He is interested in keeping a conversation with her while mostly ignoring me.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to admit that it's creepy and there is not a dang thing you can do about it. I'd avoid them and definitely avoid vacationing with them.

And walking around in a visible thong or lace panties is over the top inappropriate. Just stay away.

[Anonymous]

Also another creepy encounter between them... Dad says something like that he needs to sit in the shade because the sun is burning hi and she places her hand on his bare back to see if hE is hot. She is very flirtatious with men in general. She is this mousy type, small petite always pleasant, great listener, laughsat every joke, and very flirtatious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to admit that it's creepy and there is not a dang thing you can do about it. I'd avoid them and definitely avoid vacationing with them.

And walking around in a visible thong or lace panties is over the top inappropriate. Just stay away.

Oh absolutely I am never vacationing with them again. I feel like a step child here. This vacation is bringing up all kinds of wounds I thought heeled a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also another creepy encounter between them... Dad says something like that he needs to sit in the shade because the sun is burning hi and she places her hand on his bare back to see if hE is hot. She is very flirtatious with men in general. She is this mousy type, small petite always pleasant, great listener, laughsat every joke, and very flirtatious.

They're flirting with each other. Not saying they're having sex but are enjoying the play. He feels manly and she enjoys his clumsy obvious attention.

It is totally inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here I know that there is nothing sexual going on between them but I just feel very weird like they have some sort of platonic connection Or an emotional affair in DCUM lingo. My brother is spending most of the vacation on his laptop he is working. So today we were at the beach and one of her kids got cranky so she left to put him to bed. My dad was upset that she did not tell him that they are leaving. He also Keeps commenting on her tan and appearance in general. I have never vacationed Witt her before but apparently she is a little uninhibited. She came back to the beach in a shirt And lace underwear because all her bikinis were wet. Just totally weirded out by the whole thing.

The SIL is not the problem, your creepy dad is.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL does the same thing with my FIL (not related by blood). She comes from a f'ed up family and I figure this is how her many stepfathers behaved with her. Was gross 20 years ago, but is just pathetic-looking for both of them now. Really bums out FIL's daughter and the rest of us non-blood relatives make fun of them in private.

Fixed that for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL does the same thing with my FIL (not related by blood). She comes from a f'ed up family and I figure this is how her many stepfathers behaved with her. Was gross 20 years ago, but is just pathetic-looking for both of them now. Really bums out FIL's daughter and the rest of us non-blood relatives make fun of them in private.

Fixed that for you.

PP, what is YOUR damage? You don't know any of the people involved and there are more nuances not described here for matters of anonymity.

I don't care what your background is -- you do not flirt around with your spouse's parents. There is nothing to be gained and a lot to be lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL does the same thing with my FIL (not related by blood). She comes from a f'ed up family and I figure this is how her many stepfathers behaved with her. Was gross 20 years ago, but is just pathetic-looking for both of them now. Really bums out FIL's daughter and the rest of us non-blood relatives make fun of them in private.

Fixed that for you.

PP, what is YOUR damage? You don't know any of the people involved and there are more nuances not described here for matters of anonymity.

I don't care what your background is -- you do not flirt around with your spouse's parents. There is nothing to be gained and a lot to be lost.

I didn't address the theme of the post, I was making sure that the PP (original poster of above message) understood that it is never appropriate to blame victims of childhood sexual abuse (which seemed implied).

As far as flirting with a spouse's parents goes, of course that is totally inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

OP at first I thought you were on to something, but with your subsequent posts it seems like you may indeed have a jealousy issue surrounding your SIL. I think you are reading into situations and seeing or embellishing what you want to feed that jealousy/dislike of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL does the same thing with my FIL (not related by blood). She comes from a f'ed up family and I figure this is how her many stepfathers behaved with her. Was gross 20 years ago, but is just pathetic-looking for both of them now. Really bums out FIL's daughter and the rest of us non-blood relatives make fun of them in private.

Fixed that for you.

PP, what is YOUR damage? You don't know any of the people involved and there are more nuances not described here for matters of anonymity.

I don't care what your background is -- you do not flirt around with your spouse's parents. There is nothing to be gained and a lot to be lost.

I didn't address the theme of the post, I was making sure that the PP (original poster of above message) understood that it is never appropriate to blame victims of childhood sexual abuse (which seemed implied).

As far as flirting with a spouse's parents goes, of course that is totally inappropriate.

Sexual abuse by a stepfather was never implied. A desperate need for male attention, learned at the feet of ther mother, was.

[Anonymous]

Your father and SIL have a thing going on and either you or your mother better put a stop to it because your brother is too occupied to notice.

This will end badly if it continues.