Am I reading too much into it? Weird relationship between my dad and SIL

[Anonymous]

This is op checking back. I had a talk with my mom because honestly I could not keep my mouth shut. Basically SIL is flirtatious like that with everyone every male that is and my brother monitors her phone etc. some other things I did not like was her taking a sip of my dad's drink and a bite of food from his plate. Sitting very close to him on a couch. Just little innocent things like that somehow rubbed me the wrong way. My mom said to pay no attention to it. For posters who do not understand what I mean when I say that SIL replaced me... We were on the vacation and I felt like a third wheel. I know this is going to sound childish but I would have expected my SIL to feel like a third wheel with my dad and me. We were together for only a few days and I swear every time I tried to have a conversation he was not intrested. I am going through some difficulties in my life and I was looking forward to spending some time with him to confide and receive some advice parental guidance and understanding. Instead I had no opportunity for alone time with him. Anyways as petty as I may sound I really want my brother who is not the easiest person to get along with to be happy. And SIL makes him happy. I just need to remove myself from the whole situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy that OP is jealous that her father is flirting and being sexual at her SIL? You want your dad to touch your butt, OP? That's not right.

No, Thank you for bringing this up. All I'm reading from the OP's posts is that she's jealous that her dad isn't FLIRTING with her - or behaving inappropriately with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy that OP is jealous that her father is flirting and being sexual at her SIL? You want your dad to touch your butt, OP? That's not right.

No, Thank you for bringing this up. All I'm reading from the OP's posts is that she's jealous that her dad isn't FLIRTING with her - or behaving inappropriately with her.

NP here- you both need to work on your reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy that OP is jealous that her father is flirting and being sexual at her SIL? You want your dad to touch your butt, OP? That's not right.

No, Thank you for bringing this up. All I'm reading from the OP's posts is that she's jealous that her dad isn't FLIRTING with her - or behaving inappropriately with her.

Op here go back to the explicit forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is op checking back. I had a talk with my mom because honestly I could not keep my mouth shut. Basically SIL is flirtatious like that with everyone every male that is and my brother monitors her phone etc. some other things I did not like was her taking a sip of my dad's drink and a bite of food from his plate. Sitting very close to him on a couch. Just little innocent things like that somehow rubbed me the wrong way. My mom said to pay no attention to it. For posters who do not understand what I mean when I say that SIL replaced me... We were on the vacation and I felt like a third wheel. I know this is going to sound childish but I would have expected my SIL to feel like a third wheel with my dad and me. We were together for only a few days and I swear every time I tried to have a conversation he was not intrested. I am going through some difficulties in my life and I was looking forward to spending some time with him to confide and receive some advice parental guidance and understanding. Instead I had no opportunity for alone time with him. Anyways as petty as I may sound I really want my brother who is not the easiest person to get along with to be happy. And SIL makes him happy. I just need to remove myself from the whole situation.

This is a problem, OP. You write off these obviously inappropriate acts as innocent. Even if she's not trying to bed your dad, it is not innocent. The vibe is out of bounds, too intimate.

And you keep blaming yourself for wanting some attention from your dad when you're right in front of him. Why be apologetic for that?

Bottom line is you're not going to get the attention you want while SIL/object of your dad's youthful fantasies is there. My guess is she plays it up when you're around because she doesn't like to share the attention of any man in the room. Sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op checking back. I had a talk with my mom because honestly I could not keep my mouth shut. Basically SIL is flirtatious like that with everyone every male that is and my brother monitors her phone etc. some other things I did not like was her taking a sip of my dad's drink and a bite of food from his plate. Sitting very close to him on a couch. Just little innocent things like that somehow rubbed me the wrong way. My mom said to pay no attention to it. For posters who do not understand what I mean when I say that SIL replaced me... We were on the vacation and I felt like a third wheel. I know this is going to sound childish but I would have expected my SIL to feel like a third wheel with my dad and me. We were together for only a few days and I swear every time I tried to have a conversation he was not intrested. I am going through some difficulties in my life and I was looking forward to spending some time with him to confide and receive some advice parental guidance and understanding. Instead I had no opportunity for alone time with him. Anyways as petty as I may sound I really want my brother who is not the easiest person to get along with to be happy. And SIL makes him happy. I just need to remove myself from the whole situation.

This is a problem, OP. You write off these obviously inappropriate acts as innocent. Even if she's not trying to bed your dad, it is not innocent. The vibe is out of bounds, too intimate.

And you keep blaming yourself for wanting some attention from your dad when you're right in front of him. Why be apologetic for that?



This is a very interesting point of view, I never though about this in this way. I think I feel super guilty about not liking my SIL. I am supposed to like her. She is very pleasant, she is nice to my children, she is good to my brother, yet I find myself disliking her. We have a very big extended family and everyone is very close As much as distance permits. I want my kids and my brother's kids to be close too. Yet I cannot get over how much her presence annoys me.

Bottom line is you're not going to get the attention you want while SIL/object of your dad's youthful fantasies is there. My guess is she plays it up when you're around because she doesn't like to share the attention of any man in the room. Sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy that OP is jealous that her father is flirting and being sexual at her SIL? You want your dad to touch your butt, OP? That's not right.

No, Thank you for bringing this up. All I'm reading from the OP's posts is that she's jealous that her dad isn't FLIRTING with her - or behaving inappropriately with her.

That's because you both lack comprehension skills. OP has explained the distinction several times but you CHOOSE to ignore her explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is op checking back. I had a talk with my mom because honestly I could not keep my mouth shut. Basically SIL is flirtatious like that with everyone every male that is and my brother monitors her phone etc. some other things I did not like was her taking a sip of my dad's drink and a bite of food from his plate. Sitting very close to him on a couch. Just little innocent things like that somehow rubbed me the wrong way. My mom said to pay no attention to it. For posters who do not understand what I mean when I say that SIL replaced me... We were on the vacation and I felt like a third wheel. I know this is going to sound childish but I would have expected my SIL to feel like a third wheel with my dad and me. We were together for only a few days and I swear every time I tried to have a conversation he was not intrested. I am going through some difficulties in my life and I was looking forward to spending some time with him to confide and receive some advice parental guidance and understanding. Instead I had no opportunity for alone time with him. Anyways as petty as I may sound I really want my brother who is not the easiest person to get along with to be happy. And SIL makes him happy. I just need to remove myself from the whole situation.

It's super childish. You are too old to go running to daddy. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is op checking back. I had a talk with my mom because honestly I could not keep my mouth shut. Basically SIL is flirtatious like that with everyone every male that is and my brother monitors her phone etc. some other things I did not like was her taking a sip of my dad's drink and a bite of food from his plate. Sitting very close to him on a couch. Just little innocent things like that somehow rubbed me the wrong way. My mom said to pay no attention to it. For posters who do not understand what I mean when I say that SIL replaced me... We were on the vacation and I felt like a third wheel. I know this is going to sound childish but I would have expected my SIL to feel like a third wheel with my dad and me. We were together for only a few days and I swear every time I tried to have a conversation he was not intrested. I am going through some difficulties in my life and I was looking forward to spending some time with him to confide and receive some advice parental guidance and understanding. Instead I had no opportunity for alone time with him. Anyways as petty as I may sound I really want my brother who is not the easiest person to get along with to be happy. And SIL makes him happy. I just need to remove myself from the whole situation.

It's super childish. You are too old to go running to daddy. Get over it.

Oh look another poster with daddy issues/ envy. Go find another thread idiot.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are downplaying yourself because that's what your parents have conditioned you to do. I believe you, and I think it's bad that your DH doesn't. It sounds like your dad and SIL have an inappropriate relationship, and they're both creepy and gross. I hope you will see this behavior in your dad as a reason to no longer want his advice or to confide in him. It doesn't sound like you'll get a chance to talk to him, but even if you did I'm sure his thoughts will be elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are downplaying yourself because that's what your parents have conditioned you to do. I believe you, and I think it's bad that your DH doesn't. It sounds like your dad and SIL have an inappropriate relationship, and they're both creepy and gross. I hope you will see this behavior in your dad as a reason to no longer want his advice or to confide in him. It doesn't sound like you'll get a chance to talk to him, but even if you did I'm sure his thoughts will be elsewhere.

This is a great point. I have a very close relationship with my father. I really respect his insight and advice. I know this is your father, but he doesn't sound like a great decision maker. I know that is hard, but you might need to start coming to terms with this idea.