Should a sympathy card include money? If so how much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on socioeconomic status

I have known African American families who accepted donations for funeral costs

And I have known white and hispanic families who accepted money for funeral costs as well. Since socioeconomic status isn't tied to race.
OP, I've also known people who gave money not because the family was particularly poor, but just because. But it is not at all required or accepted- your card by itself would be fine.

As an AA I have never heard of this. But think it's more of a cultural thing to give money in a card for a death. Perhaps it dates back to when people couldn't afford funerals but money now is not necessarulu given to cover funeral costs but more or less as a gesture.
Also there are a lot of go fund me accounts out there to pay for funerals and I admit race has nothing to do with it. I've seen all races asking for help to cover the cost of burial etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom passed away, I got cards with GC to local restaurants. The note basically said sorry for your loss and we know in the upcoming months you'll be busy with the estate so please have dinner in us one night so you don't have to worry about feeding the kids.

From out of town friends and relatives it was a kind gesture.

This happened to me when my dad died. He died during finals week my first semester of grad school. I did appreciate the gift cards and having an excuse to treat myself to a nice meal, especially since I wasn't up to cooking the next 2 weeks.

A gift card seems weird. Almost celebratory. I would much prefer the cash.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It depends on the area you live in. When I went to bury my mother in her very small Midwest farming town, I immediately started getting cards when I got to her apartment, mostly dropped off by people. When I opened up the first card, I was astonished. There was $2 in it. I thought, "What?" Then I started opening up the flood of cards that came; all had small amounts of money in them: $5, $10, $20. Those small amounts of money aren't much by themselves, but when you add them up over 100 plus cards, it meant I was able to pay for a headstone and other funeral expenses.

The town folks don't make a lot of money, and they know how expensive funerals are. So everyone pitches in a little, to help. It was amazing.

This! And race has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

You know when my mom died I got a lot of cards with money in them. Some people even paypaled me money. I didn't know this was the norm, but apparently it is. I made sure to send notes to all of those folks, though.

[Anonymous]

14:24 again. I'm black and from the South and my mother lived there. I did not know this was a cultural or any other norm.

[Anonymous]

If they are wealthy, no don't send money. If they're not wealthy, it is common place in some cultures to give money. A relative of my brother-in-law's just passed away and I was encouraged to give the money which I did in the card. I received a very nice thank you note and said she would give that to the children in college. Depends on the situation and the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It depends on the area you live in. When I went to bury my mother in her very small Midwest farming town, I immediately started getting cards when I got to her apartment, mostly dropped off by people. When I opened up the first card, I was astonished. There was $2 in it. I thought, "What?" Then I started opening up the flood of cards that came; all had small amounts of money in them: $5, $10, $20. Those small amounts of money aren't much by themselves, but when you add them up over 100 plus cards, it meant I was able to pay for a headstone and other funeral expenses.

The town folks don't make a lot of money, and they know how expensive funerals are. So everyone pitches in a little, to help. It was amazing.

This! And race has nothing to do with it.

Yes, we do this in my home community too. Super poor Appalachian farming area. Not if you are well off but funeral costs can devastate a family on the edge. I think it is charming though I would never send money except to people back home because it isn't done most places.

[Anonymous]

I would only do it for a spouse if there are still young children to support or if you suspect the death has put the surviving spouse in financial straits.

[Anonymous]

Money Is appreciated for the many extra expenses. Include note that reads: "I know there are many expenses during this time, please take this as a gift to use as you need and know we care."

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the rural midwest and people always sent money. I had a friend whose child died and sent money because it was unexpected and they had other kids and I figured they could use it. Around here, for someone's parent, I usually don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It depends on the area you live in. When I went to bury my mother in her very small Midwest farming town, I immediately started getting cards when I got to her apartment, mostly dropped off by people. When I opened up the first card, I was astonished. There was $2 in it. I thought, "What?" Then I started opening up the flood of cards that came; all had small amounts of money in them: $5, $10, $20. Those small amounts of money aren't much by themselves, but when you add them up over 100 plus cards, it meant I was able to pay for a headstone and other funeral expenses.

The town folks don't make a lot of money, and they know how expensive funerals are. So everyone pitches in a little, to help. It was amazing.

This! And race has nothing to do with it.

Yeah race has nothing to do with it. My uncle and aunt passed away 2 months apart. They weren't sick or anything and it was all of a sudden. The families received flowers, money and gift cards to help pay for the funeral.

[Anonymous]

I am from the UK and giving money in a sympathy card is unheard of

[Anonymous]

I have given money only in situations where a primary breadwinner or parent died.

[Anonymous]

I just send a card, however like the posters above, I have had the circumstances where $ was welcome, before the days of the funding websites. You just know if they need it.