Must be different in different cultures. Not something done in my community/culture. |
In Hawaii, it is the norm to always include money (“koden”) in a sympathy card, whether you attend the funeral or not. It would be unthinkable not to do this, no matter your cultural background. |
I put at least $400 if they're family and $200 if they are friend/acquaintance. |
I am a firm believer in sending money as a token. You never know what expenses might come up. I’d send a check. If they don’t need it, they can donate it. |
We got to pay for the priest to pray?? |
My Mexican cleaner’s father just died. I put $100 in the card. Now I’m hoping he wasn’t offended. No idea about Mexican norms. |
Personally I would not send money $$ in a sympathy card because I do not feel it is necessary.
Instead what you can do is write a lovely message inside - possibly to share a wonderful memory of your friend’s Father (if you have one.) 🕊️ |
NO |
Send a flower arrangement to her after funeral and she is home. Only send money if the obituary asks for donations to defray funeral expenses and then do so anonymously so as not to embarrass the family |
$100 per year that you know them. Double that if it’s family or close friends with children. |
Not in the sympathy cards though / usually to go fund me accounts set up for this purpose. |
This is ridiculous. For those of us who have friends of 30 years or more we may not have 3k lying around plus 6k each for their 3 kids bringing donations up to >20 k. Go fund me accounts set up for the purposes of helping to defray funeral and burial costs usually welcome whatever amount people can afford and feel comfortable with. |
When I lost my mother a few friends brought or sent dinner or food so I didn’t have to think about trying to feed my family. It’s interesting that these friends are Jewish. I will never forget this kindness. I don’t recall who sent flowers although many did. I did not need money. Maybe someone else does. Does your friend need money? What’s the intention behind sending it? |
You can also ask the name and location of the funeral home if you want to send flowers. A different state doesn’t matter. Call a florist in that state. |
Many who don’t have money to cover the cost of a funeral are too proud or private to set up a gofund-me account. |