Should a sympathy card include money? If so how much?

[Anonymous]

It is mixed opinions when it comes to giving as a token to a friend’s children on the loss of their mom how much money would be appropriate with condolences card? Or if you have any opinion. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Never that is extremely tacky.

[Anonymous]

“Here’s 50 bucks. Go buy yourself something nice.” No, that doesn’t work in a sympathy card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on socioeconomic status

I have known African American families who accepted donations for funeral costs

And I have known white and hispanic families who accepted money for funeral costs as well. Since socioeconomic status isn't tied to race.
OP, I've also known people who gave money not because the family was particularly poor, but just because. But it is not at all required or accepted- your card by itself would be fine.

From his experience...he only knew of aaf.....its not like he said jigga boos...get over it...

[Anonymous]

“As grandpa used to say, ‘Nothing takes the edge off a funeral like a crisp c-note.’ Have fun!”

Yeah, THAT’S fine while the body is still warm. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Money won’t replace a love one. Keep your pennies to yourself.

And kind thoughts won't help pay for the funeral.

My family always dropped off food when people died, so that's what I typically do. Recently I learned that it's sometimes customary to send money. I send money in those cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It depends on the area you live in. When I went to bury my mother in her very small Midwest farming town, I immediately started getting cards when I got to her apartment, mostly dropped off by people. When I opened up the first card, I was astonished. There was $2 in it. I thought, "What?" Then I started opening up the flood of cards that came; all had small amounts of money in them: $5, $10, $20. Those small amounts of money aren't much by themselves, but when you add them up over 100 plus cards, it meant I was able to pay for a headstone and other funeral expenses.

The town folks don't make a lot of money, and they know how expensive funerals are. So everyone pitches in a little, to help. It was amazing.

This is so heartwarming. Brought tears to my eyes. ❤️

Same here. I hope the pp is healing from her loss.

[Anonymous]

I would be weirded out if I got money in a sympathy card. No

[Anonymous]

Only if you owed the deceased money.

[Anonymous]

I had never heard of giving money in a sympathy card either, until my dad died. I would say about half the cards had money in them. When I asked older family members they said it was customary to give money to help offset the cost of the funeral. This was in the Midwest and my family was blue collar so I don't know if this is regional/socioeconomic-related or not, but ever since then when I have a relative pass, I include some money in the card. My thought is that if they don't need it to help pay for the funeral, they can donate it to a favorite charity of the deceased. The posters on DCUM skew high income and probably have no idea what a hardship it can be to pay for the funeral for some families.

[Anonymous]

Pile of absolutell psychos here beating up on someone trying to help a suffering friend. You all would be ashamed of yourselves if you had any sense of shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In some cultures and subcultures people send money and that is very thoughtful. In some cultures people bring food, send flowers or send gift cards for restaurants.

I think there is no right or wrong. Attend the funeral if you can or send a thoughtful card. If you have a photograph or memory of the deceased you can share it in the card. What is important is that you show your support to the bereaved family.

This. I’m from a working class family, and my dad died unexpectedly when I was 19. There were still 2 younger siblings at home, and my mom did not make a lot of money. I would never critique the expressions of sympathy people sent us. We were all just grateful enough that Dad was remembered. Was it hard? Yes. Would more money have helped? Yes. But swapping out a floral arrangement for $50 wasn’t going to save us. That being said, some people did send money, and that was helpful for funeral costs. At the end of the day, we were grateful for any kindness extended. Being grateful, looking for the best in people -that is what my Dad taught us.

You might think differently about that $50 if it was the difference between having a beautiful floral arrangement or being able to buy groceries and feed your family.

Um, actually we didn’t always have money to buy groceries, so stop projecting your nonsense onto me. Even when times are tight you can choose to feel gratitude for what you do have.

Who do you think you are helping by recommending starving children to discourage tangible acts of help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not.

America has become very crass in this regard.

I feel like our first instinct is to throw money to cover up any problem.

Write a heart felt card about the deceased or your regards for the grieving family member.

(If the death left someone in material need, such as a young widow with children, perhaps later try to help them out in some way. )

I hope you pass on and your money passes to someone more caring.

[Anonymous]

Yet another thread where bitter rich people try to discourage people from helping each other.

A mourner is free to donate money to a charity if they are lucky enough that a spot of extra money won't make a difference to their own condition.

[Anonymous]

I see this is an thread. Wondering if thoughts have changed.

It's customary in my circle to send money with the card. There are a lot of unexpected expenses related to someone passing away beyond the funeral. They may need to travel, buy new clothes, eat out more because they are sad,/overwhelmed/busy planning. The money is to ease the burden. If someone requests a donation I will do that, but if nothing is said I send money.