Teenage daughter being teased at summer job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, sexual. She is being harassed because of her gender. If she were a boy, they wouldn't be doing this to her. The sexual doesn't refer only to explicit comments or groping.

You have no idea what you are talking about. Just because two boys are making fun of a girl does not make it sexual harrassment. Every time I come here I am amazed by the stupidity of some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them. No one can make her feel teased. Only she can.

PP here. BS. They should not be trying to embarrass the girl like this.

Why are so many of you calling this teasing? IT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT. It's not high school. OP, if your daughter is okay with it, YOU go into the pool manager's office with her and tell the manager what is going on. Get these other kids fired. No second chances for this kind of abuse.

OMG have you never been teased for anything in your life? Call it sexual harassment or hostile workplace or whatever you will legally but it is 2 teens picking on another teen which has gone on since the dawn of time. As for it not being high school -- sure it's a workplace but frankly these high school jobs have a very high school vibe; this is not anyone's 40 hr a week for the rest of their life job.

How much time could she possibly have left this summer? A teen girl who goes to high school really doesn't know how to deal with being called a pig or a cow? She can't tell them to shut up or walk away and keep ignoring it or get a friend to stand up to them without mommy running to the office to have these boys fired? Btw -- this late in the summer, they won't be fired bc the pool won't want to hire new lifeguards. So then she'll not only be a cow but the one who tattled -- a much more enjoyable experience I'm sure.

I'm not sure how most of the people on DCUM made it to adulthood -- sensitive as they are. Around that age I got teased for being a tomboy. Nothing over the top, just comments whenever 2 boys walked by my locker. Rest assured my parents had no idea. Nor do I even remember the comments -- and 1 only remember one of the boys -- so it's not like this stuff leads to life long scarring.

You sound like a know it all. Must be nice to know everything.

If the lifeguards at my pool were acting this way I would have a problem with it. It would make things very uncomfortable for many of the women at the pool, and as a pp mentioned earlier, the lifeguards are distracted and not focused on their jobs. I am really thankful for the professionalism of the lifeguards at my pool. They are all young, some men & some women, and they all treat each other with respect. They also treat everyone that uses the pool with respect. If I saw this behavior that OP mentioned at my pool, I wouldn't want to go there anymore.

I'm a know it all?? Yet by spending a few hrs a day at your pool, you've deduced that all your lifeguards treat each other with respect? Ever consider the fact that maybe they're also talking trash about each other but it's outside your ear shot or do you actually sit with them 8 hrs a day?? Frankly if a teen girl can't deal with this by herself without involving her momma or her boss, I'm a bit surprised at her lack of exposure to the high school world. I'd be shocked if she has never in her life been picked on for anything and can't find a way to tell the boys to STFU. All of these ideas about reporting to management, filing reports, HR needing to know this or they'll be in "trouble" are the usual DCUM lawyer bullshit. This is a simple real world problem with a simple real world solution.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter made a poor job choice. A hefty teen girl sauntering around the pool in a bikini is going to attract these type of comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter made a poor job choice. A hefty teen girl sauntering around the pool in a bikini is going to attract these type of comments.

The male lifeguards are online with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter made a poor job choice. A hefty teen girl sauntering around the pool in a bikini is going to attract these type of comments.

The male lifeguards are online with us.

Apparently. This is an absolutely disgusting point of view.

I think she needs to speak with her manager, and if her immediate supervisor isn't enough of a grown-up to respond, you could help her escalate the complaint. I'm not a lawyer, but I can't imagine that workplace protections against sexual harassment wouldn't apply. And I can't imagine that critiquing the attractiveness of a co-worker with the intention of shaming wouldn't fulfill the criteria for sexual harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter made a poor job choice. A hefty teen girl sauntering around the pool in a bikini is going to attract these type of comments.

+1. COuldn't have said it better myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter made a poor job choice. A hefty teen girl sauntering around the pool in a bikini is going to attract these type of comments.

+1. COuldn't have said it better myself.

Are you people serious? Watched too much Baywatch perhaps?

A lifeguard's job is not to sit there and look pretty for her male coworkers to admire. Their job is to supervise swimmers and to haul them out of the water and save their lives if needed.

Women in ANY workplace aren't there for the amusement or not of their male coworkers. These two boys need to learn that in the workplace, you keep your opinions to yourself and do your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter made a poor job choice. A hefty teen girl sauntering around the pool in a bikini is going to attract these type of comments.

Nice.

I bet you blame rape victims for getting raped, too. Crawl back under your rock, troll.

[Anonymous]

I would tell my teen daughter to turn around look them both up and down and say "Wow... is it cold out here today or are you guys ALWAYS that small?
and then walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my teen daughter to turn around look them both up and down and say "Wow... is it cold out here today or are you guys ALWAYS that small?
and then walk away.

Descending to their level? Really?

I'd tell them once, politely, to stop. And the next time they did it, I'd film them and post it on YouTube.

[Anonymous]

I am a lawyer who works in the area of employment discrimination and what has been described would not constitute sexual harassment. Teasing someone of the opposite gender does not rise to the level of sexual harassment. It is obnoxious behavior that should stop -- she should first tell her co-workers to stop doing it, letting them know that she knows, and then tell her supervisor. It is conceivable that if it persists after she complains the behavior might be defined as creating a hostile environment, but that still seems a stretch since the only thing that makes it sex-based is the fact that she is a woman but that, by itself, does not make it sexual harassment -- not in school either I might add.

[Anonymous]

I am not completely convinced that the "15 year old" is, in fact, NOT a HS kid.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that your daughter is going through this at her summer job.
Perhaps she can get together with a friend and when one of the boys walks passed them they can giggle and comment that the boy has a small penis.

Boys have fake confidence when in a pack like dogs and I would challenge them when they are alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them. No one can make her feel teased. Only she can.

PP here. BS. They should not be trying to embarrass the girl like this.

Why are so many of you calling this teasing? IT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT. It's not high school. OP, if your daughter is okay with it, YOU go into the pool manager's office with her and tell the manager what is going on. Get these other kids fired. No second chances for this kind of abuse.

OMG have you never been teased for anything in your life? Call it sexual harassment or hostile workplace or whatever you will legally but it is 2 teens picking on another teen which has gone on since the dawn of time. As for it not being high school -- sure it's a workplace but frankly these high school jobs have a very high school vibe; this is not anyone's 40 hr a week for the rest of their life job.

How much time could she possibly have left this summer? A teen girl who goes to high school really doesn't know how to deal with being called a pig or a cow? She can't tell them to shut up or walk away and keep ignoring it or get a friend to stand up to them without mommy running to the office to have these boys fired? Btw -- this late in the summer, they won't be fired bc the pool won't want to hire new lifeguards. So then she'll not only be a cow but the one who tattled -- a much more enjoyable experience I'm sure.

I'm not sure how most of the people on DCUM made it to adulthood -- sensitive as they are. Around that age I got teased for being a tomboy. Nothing over the top, just comments whenever 2 boys walked by my locker. Rest assured my parents had no idea. Nor do I even remember the comments -- and 1 only remember one of the boys -- so it's not like this stuff leads to life long scarring.

You sound like a know it all. Must be nice to know everything.

If the lifeguards at my pool were acting this way I would have a problem with it. It would make things very uncomfortable for many of the women at the pool, and as a pp mentioned earlier, the lifeguards are distracted and not focused on their jobs. I am really thankful for the professionalism of the lifeguards at my pool. They are all young, some men & some women, and they all treat each other with respect. They also treat everyone that uses the pool with respect. If I saw this behavior that OP mentioned at my pool, I wouldn't want to go there anymore.

I'm a know it all?? Yet by spending a few hrs a day at your pool, you've deduced that all your lifeguards treat each other with respect? Ever consider the fact that maybe they're also talking trash about each other but it's outside your ear shot or do you actually sit with them 8 hrs a day?? Frankly if a teen girl can't deal with this by herself without involving her momma or her boss, I'm a bit surprised at her lack of exposure to the high school world. I'd be shocked if she has never in her life been picked on for anything and can't find a way to tell the boys to STFU. All of these ideas about reporting to management, filing reports, HR needing to know this or they'll be in "trouble" are the usual DCUM lawyer bullshit. This is a simple real world problem with a simple real world solution.

Holy shit, defensive much? Did I strike a nerve? I've been at the pool enough to see the lifeguards interacting with each other to know that they share a mutual respect for each other. There are only about 6 lifeguards at my pool, so yeah, I kind of got a good idea about this over the past two summers. And no, I don't think this is acceptable behavior (teasing?) on the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my teen daughter to turn around look them both up and down and say "Wow... is it cold out here today or are you guys ALWAYS that small?
and then walk away.

I actually like this approach. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.