Teenage daughter being teased at summer job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them. No one can make her feel teased. Only she can.

PP here. BS. They should not be trying to embarrass the girl like this.

Why are so many of you calling this teasing? IT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT. It's not high school. OP, if your daughter is okay with it, YOU go into the pool manager's office with her and tell the manager what is going on. Get these other kids fired. No second chances for this kind of abuse.

OMG have you never been teased for anything in your life? Call it sexual harassment or hostile workplace or whatever you will legally but it is 2 teens picking on another teen which has gone on since the dawn of time. As for it not being high school -- sure it's a workplace but frankly these high school jobs have a very high school vibe; this is not anyone's 40 hr a week for the rest of their life job.

How much time could she possibly have left this summer? A teen girl who goes to high school really doesn't know how to deal with being called a pig or a cow? She can't tell them to shut up or walk away and keep ignoring it or get a friend to stand up to them without mommy running to the office to have these boys fired? Btw -- this late in the summer, they won't be fired bc the pool won't want to hire new lifeguards. So then she'll not only be a cow but the one who tattled -- a much more enjoyable experience I'm sure.

I'm not sure how most of the people on DCUM made it to adulthood -- sensitive as they are. Around that age I got teased for being a tomboy. Nothing over the top, just comments whenever 2 boys walked by my locker. Rest assured my parents had no idea. Nor do I even remember the comments -- and 1 only remember one of the boys -- so it's not like this stuff leads to life long scarring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OMG have you never been teased for anything in your life? Call it sexual harassment or hostile workplace or whatever you will legally but it is 2 teens picking on another teen which has gone on since the dawn of time. As for it not being high school -- sure it's a workplace but frankly these high school jobs have a very high school vibe; this is not anyone's 40 hr a week for the rest of their life job.

How much time could she possibly have left this summer? A teen girl who goes to high school really doesn't know how to deal with being called a pig or a cow? She can't tell them to shut up or walk away and keep ignoring it or get a friend to stand up to them without mommy running to the office to have these boys fired? Btw -- this late in the summer, they won't be fired bc the pool won't want to hire new lifeguards. So then she'll not only be a cow but the one who tattled -- a much more enjoyable experience I'm sure.

I'm not sure how most of the people on DCUM made it to adulthood -- sensitive as they are. Around that age I got teased for being a tomboy. Nothing over the top, just comments whenever 2 boys walked by my locker. Rest assured my parents had no idea. Nor do I even remember the comments -- and 1 only remember one of the boys -- so it's not like this stuff leads to life long scarring.

Yes, it has gone on since the dawn of time. And now it is illegal in the workplace. I consider that progress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:{From a teen (OP of "I'm 15..."))

Don't "tattletale" on the boys. This is such a hard situation, though. Usually the most effective way to get them to stop is if a friend stands up for her... Two against two is much better than two vs. one.

I thought I knew everything when I was a teenager, too. But you don't know anything about workplace harassment. It's illegal and reporting it will protect others who have been/will be harassed. Plus, the management can be sued back to the stoneage for allowing harassment.

Stick to answering questions about teenager stuff. This is a legal issue and it is pretty well defined what OP's daughter should do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How could harassing comments about the attractiveness or unattractiveness of somebody's body not be sexual harassment?

It would fall under a hostile work environment, not sexual harassment.

I am not a lawyer. But I think it's both.

Who knows, they could possibly be making fun of a big nose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:{From a teen (OP of "I'm 15..."))

Don't "tattletale" on the boys. This is such a hard situation, though. Usually the most effective way to get them to stop is if a friend stands up for her... Two against two is much better than two vs. one.

I thought I knew everything when I was a teenager, too. But you don't know anything about workplace harassment. It's illegal and reporting it will protect others who have been/will be harassed. Plus, the management can be sued back to the stoneage for allowing harassment.

Stick to answering questions about teenager stuff. This is a legal issue and it is pretty well defined what OP's daughter should do.

You know what though, the PP might have a point.

This is NOT the same situation as it would be with all adults. Unfortunately, it just still doesn't work that way. If the girl goes to school with these guys, or comes across them again on some regular basis, things could be even worse.

No good answer from me. I agree that it's workplace harassment, but it's not as easy when you're a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How could harassing comments about the attractiveness or unattractiveness of somebody's body not be sexual harassment?

It would fall under a hostile work environment, not sexual harrassment.

Same thing. Sexual harassment violates Title VII because it creates a hostile work environment. Duh.

Um.. No... Not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OMG have you never been teased for anything in your life? Call it sexual harassment or hostile workplace or whatever you will legally but it is 2 teens picking on another teen which has gone on since the dawn of time. As for it not being high school -- sure it's a workplace but frankly these high school jobs have a very high school vibe; this is not anyone's 40 hr a week for the rest of their life job.

How much time could she possibly have left this summer? A teen girl who goes to high school really doesn't know how to deal with being called a pig or a cow? She can't tell them to shut up or walk away and keep ignoring it or get a friend to stand up to them without mommy running to the office to have these boys fired? Btw -- this late in the summer, they won't be fired bc the pool won't want to hire new lifeguards. So then she'll not only be a cow but the one who tattled -- a much more enjoyable experience I'm sure.

I'm not sure how most of the people on DCUM made it to adulthood -- sensitive as they are. Around that age I got teased for being a tomboy. Nothing over the top, just comments whenever 2 boys walked by my locker. Rest assured my parents had no idea. Nor do I even remember the comments -- and 1 only remember one of the boys -- so it's not like this stuff leads to life long scarring.

Yes, it has gone on since the dawn of time. And now it is illegal in the workplace. I consider that progress.

+1. It's a new time... Otherwise her brothers could just jump him in the parking lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How could harassing comments about the attractiveness or unattractiveness of somebody's body not be sexual harassment?

It would fall under a hostile work environment, not sexual harassment.

I am not a lawyer. But I think it's both.

Who knows, they could possibly be making fun of a big nose.

And the moon could possibly be made of green cheese.

[Anonymous]

1. She need to tell them to stop so she feels empowered. It is as simple as "stop doing that".
2. If they don't stop, tell the manager.
3. Manager talks to boys, boys receive a lesson, poor boy behavior stops.
4. Everyone wins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, sexual. She is being harassed because of her gender. If she were a boy, they wouldn't be doing this to her. The sexual doesn't refer only to explicit comments or groping.

Not teue. I know a few boys that have been teased and bullied because of their weight. Called all kinds of animal names and sounds made too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. She need to tell them to stop so she feels empowered. It is as simple as "stop doing that".
2. If they don't stop, tell the manager.
3. Manager talks to boys, boys receive a lesson, poor boy behavior stops.
4. Everyone wins

What makes you think the behavior will stop when a 25 yr old manager tells a 17 yr old to stop?? The 17 yr old will act sorry to the boss and rest assured the behavior will continue. And add to the pig or cow comments will be all kinds of other tattletale stuff.

This is high school teasing pure and simple -- whether it's in a workplace or not. Not sure why everything on DCUM has to turn into a legal discussion but unless you're actually filing harassment charges all the ideas here about documenting or whatever are moronic. Tell the boys to STFU or have a friend do so or have a brother jump them in the parking lot. It may be a new day but these issues are age old and don't require THIS much angst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. She need to tell them to stop so she feels empowered. It is as simple as "stop doing that".
2. If they don't stop, tell the manager.
3. Manager talks to boys, boys receive a lesson, poor boy behavior stops.
4. Everyone wins

What makes you think the behavior will stop when a 25 yr old manager tells a 17 yr old to stop?? The 17 yr old will act sorry to the boss and rest assured the behavior will continue. And add to the pig or cow comments will be all kinds of other tattletale stuff.

This is high school teasing pure and simple -- whether it's in a workplace or not. Not sure why everything on DCUM has to turn into a legal discussion but unless you're actually filing harassment charges all the ideas here about documenting or whatever are moronic. Tell the boys to STFU or have a friend do so or have a brother jump them in the parking lot. It may be a new day but these issues are age old and don't require THIS much angst.

If it doesn't stop, then OP's daughter talks to the 33-year-old supervisor of the 25-year-old manager. Ideally, the 33-year-old supervisor will have been in the workplace long enough to realize that tolerating harassment is a bad idea, if you want to stay out of trouble.

Another bad idea, if you want to stay out of trouble: having your brother jump your co-worker in the parking lot. That's called assault, and it's illegal too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. She need to tell them to stop so she feels empowered. It is as simple as "stop doing that".
2. If they don't stop, tell the manager.
3. Manager talks to boys, boys receive a lesson, poor boy behavior stops.
4. Everyone wins

What makes you think the behavior will stop when a 25 yr old manager tells a 17 yr old to stop?? The 17 yr old will act sorry to the boss and rest assured the behavior will continue. And add to the pig or cow comments will be all kinds of other tattletale stuff.

This is high school teasing pure and simple -- whether it's in a workplace or not. Not sure why everything on DCUM has to turn into a legal discussion but unless you're actually filing harassment charges all the ideas here about documenting or whatever are moronic. Tell the boys to STFU or have a friend do so or have a brother jump them in the parking lot. It may be a new day but these issues are age old and don't require THIS much angst.

Sorry, but I agree with this poster. Not saying it's right, but do all you attorney PPs actually live in real life?

The poor 17yo girl could end up in worse shape for 'tattling'. Not everyone has an HR department to back them up when the file harassment charges. In an ideal world, it'd work that way, but we're just not there yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why the secrecy about the animal?
Some people are so weird, that's you OP.
Is it a pig?

OP is weird? No, that's YOU, pp. You're the weird one. Why do you care about what animal? So freakin rude, just like the kids OP's daughter has to work with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them. No one can make her feel teased. Only she can.

PP here. BS. They should not be trying to embarrass the girl like this.

Why are so many of you calling this teasing? IT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT. It's not high school. OP, if your daughter is okay with it, YOU go into the pool manager's office with her and tell the manager what is going on. Get these other kids fired. No second chances for this kind of abuse.

OMG have you never been teased for anything in your life? Call it sexual harassment or hostile workplace or whatever you will legally but it is 2 teens picking on another teen which has gone on since the dawn of time. As for it not being high school -- sure it's a workplace but frankly these high school jobs have a very high school vibe; this is not anyone's 40 hr a week for the rest of their life job.

How much time could she possibly have left this summer? A teen girl who goes to high school really doesn't know how to deal with being called a pig or a cow? She can't tell them to shut up or walk away and keep ignoring it or get a friend to stand up to them without mommy running to the office to have these boys fired? Btw -- this late in the summer, they won't be fired bc the pool won't want to hire new lifeguards. So then she'll not only be a cow but the one who tattled -- a much more enjoyable experience I'm sure.

I'm not sure how most of the people on DCUM made it to adulthood -- sensitive as they are. Around that age I got teased for being a tomboy. Nothing over the top, just comments whenever 2 boys walked by my locker. Rest assured my parents had no idea. Nor do I even remember the comments -- and 1 only remember one of the boys -- so it's not like this stuff leads to life long scarring.

You sound like a know it all. Must be nice to know everything.

If the lifeguards at my pool were acting this way I would have a problem with it. It would make things very uncomfortable for many of the women at the pool, and as a pp mentioned earlier, the lifeguards are distracted and not focused on their jobs. I am really thankful for the professionalism of the lifeguards at my pool. They are all young, some men & some women, and they all treat each other with respect. They also treat everyone that uses the pool with respect. If I saw this behavior that OP mentioned at my pool, I wouldn't want to go there anymore.