Teenage daughter being teased at summer job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If these were my boys, I'd want that girl to go to the supervisor, and I'd want that supervisor to explain in no uncertain terms that the behavior is 100% not acceptable and that they are on suspended leave for a few days. Or fired.

This should be covered in training, btw. Pools are no place for shenanigans like this, in general, and treating coworkers with respect--something that really only SOME teens need to learn because most already know this--is a requirement of the job. Period.

+1 the idea that a supervisor would get annoyed at this girl for being a "drama queen" is offensive to me. It's NOT the norm - most teens don't behave in this manner, and it's not acceptable at a place of employment, period.

[Anonymous]

I worked as a lifeguard for a few years and a supervisor for a few years after that. As a lifeguard, I would have just told them to F off, get lost, or I would have made some cutting remark back. I wouldn't have reported it to anyone.

As a supervisor I would have wanted to know this was going on to deal with it. I would have just said that I overheard a rumor that they were calling others names /making rude sounds and then read them the riot act. if it continued, then at that point I would go to my supervisors / HR and probably get them off my deck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I'm wondering how many of the posters that are defending the boys would think it's okay if this young lady was African American and every time she walked by, the boys made the sounds of another animal?

Let me tell you, people would be Screaming if that was the case.

Also let me tell you- this is no different. A woman is at work to work. Not to be bullied, harassed, or assessed for her weight if she can do the job.

Race, gender, disability.. Workplace harassment is workplace harassment. It's not "boys will be boys" or "she shouldn't be in a bathing suit". Or "it's a teenage thing". These boys are paid to represent their employer, both in the public eye and to the coworker (female teen). Their deportment is not conducive to a positive or safe work environment. It may come to the fact that this group may need to work together to save a life. If there is ANY hesitation for this young girl because of how she's been treated - then at can be a second that matters.

You are so right with everything you said here, but especially the bolded part. Why on earth would anyone be okay with how these boys are treating their coworker and suggest that OP's daughter shrug it off?

When I was in my early twenties I worked in a restaurant and there was another girl that would harass me to my face, but also talk about me behind my back and it made me dread going to work. And I was only working at a restaurant. Not in a position to save anybody's life, just running food & drink refills.

[Anonymous]

The suggestion from multiple employment law attorneys to ignore this is interesting to me. Personally, I wouldn't ignore it. I would bring it up to the supervisor. The summer is almost over, true, but hopefully the supervisor will be able to set clear policies for next years crew and establish a clear anti-bullying policy, violations of which should be punishable by termination. I think clear policies with clearly outlined consequences go a long way to stopping that sort of juvenile behavior. The ability to get a drowning person out of the water is what qualifies her for the job, and she's not required to have any particular body type. I also don't think you do the male lifeguards any favors since they may escalate the bullying with someone else and find themselves terminated for behavior that was previously tolerated. They are two misogynistic little twerps and that's not going to serve them well in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The suggestion from multiple employment law attorneys to ignore this is interesting to me. Personally, I wouldn't ignore it. I would bring it up to the supervisor. The summer is almost over, true, but hopefully the supervisor will be able to set clear policies for next years crew and establish a clear anti-bullying policy, violations of which should be punishable by termination. I think clear policies with clearly outlined consequences go a long way to stopping that sort of juvenile behavior. The ability to get a drowning person out of the water is what qualifies her for the job, and she's not required to have any particular body type. I also don't think you do the male lifeguards any favors since they may escalate the bullying with someone else and find themselves terminated for behavior that was previously tolerated. They are two misogynistic little twerps and that's not going to serve them well in the long run.

There is no way to know if they are misogynistic. They may be making the same sounds about the male lifeguard who is also overweight. I know a teen boy who is overweight and other boys and girls work the word whale and whale related words and sounds into all kinds of conversations around him. It isn't necessarily misandry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The suggestion from multiple employment law attorneys to ignore this is interesting to me. Personally, I wouldn't ignore it. I would bring it up to the supervisor. The summer is almost over, true, but hopefully the supervisor will be able to set clear policies for next years crew and establish a clear anti-bullying policy, violations of which should be punishable by termination. I think clear policies with clearly outlined consequences go a long way to stopping that sort of juvenile behavior. The ability to get a drowning person out of the water is what qualifies her for the job, and she's not required to have any particular body type. I also don't think you do the male lifeguards any favors since they may escalate the bullying with someone else and find themselves terminated for behavior that was previously tolerated. They are two misogynistic little twerps and that's not going to serve them well in the long run.

There is no way to know if they are misogynistic. They may be making the same sounds about the male lifeguard who is also overweight. I know a teen boy who is overweight and other boys and girls work the word whale and whale related words and sounds into all kinds of conversations around him. It isn't necessarily misandry.

Apparently she's the only one being teased here so her gender does appear to be an issue. But, I agree that a male could be harassed for being overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to know if they are misogynistic. They may be making the same sounds about the male lifeguard who is also overweight. I know a teen boy who is overweight and other boys and girls work the word whale and whale related words and sounds into all kinds of conversations around him. It isn't necessarily misandry.

Splitting hairs, IMO. Nastiness and -isms of varying flavors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The suggestion from multiple employment law attorneys to ignore this is interesting to me. Personally, I wouldn't ignore it. I would bring it up to the supervisor. The summer is almost over, true, but hopefully the supervisor will be able to set clear policies for next years crew and establish a clear anti-bullying policy, violations of which should be punishable by termination. I think clear policies with clearly outlined consequences go a long way to stopping that sort of juvenile behavior. The ability to get a drowning person out of the water is what qualifies her for the job, and she's not required to have any particular body type. I also don't think you do the male lifeguards any favors since they may escalate the bullying with someone else and find themselves terminated for behavior that was previously tolerated. They are two misogynistic little twerps and that's not going to serve them well in the long run.

There is no way to know if they are misogynistic. They may be making the same sounds about the male lifeguard who is also overweight. I know a teen boy who is overweight and other boys and girls work the word whale and whale related words and sounds into all kinds of conversations around him. It isn't necessarily misandry.

Apparently she's the only one being teased here so her gender does appear to be an issue. But, I agree that a male could be harassed for being overweight.

Seeing as they do it quietly as they walk past, they could be doing it to others. Likely the other guards aren't aware that they are doing it to Ops daughter and she may not be aware they are doing it to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to know if they are misogynistic. They may be making the same sounds about the male lifeguard who is also overweight. I know a teen boy who is overweight and other boys and girls work the word whale and whale related words and sounds into all kinds of conversations around him. It isn't necessarily misandry.

Splitting hairs, IMO. Nastiness and -isms of varying flavors.

No it really isn't splitting hairs. Misogyny doesn't mean anything that is mean or unkind to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to know if they are misogynistic. They may be making the same sounds about the male lifeguard who is also overweight. I know a teen boy who is overweight and other boys and girls work the word whale and whale related words and sounds into all kinds of conversations around him. It isn't necessarily misandry.

Splitting hairs, IMO. Nastiness and -isms of varying flavors.

No it really isn't splitting hairs. Misogyny doesn't mean anything that is mean or unkind to anyone.

Let's not drown in academic critical theory. Stay practical for a minute.

Yours truly,
Social Scientist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to know if they are misogynistic. They may be making the same sounds about the male lifeguard who is also overweight. I know a teen boy who is overweight and other boys and girls work the word whale and whale related words and sounds into all kinds of conversations around him. It isn't necessarily misandry.

Splitting hairs, IMO. Nastiness and -isms of varying flavors.

No it really isn't splitting hairs. Misogyny doesn't mean anything that is mean or unkind to anyone.

Let's not drown in academic critical theory. Stay practical for a minute.

Yours truly,
Social Scientist

Being practical doesn't require incorrect terminology. It isn't hard to not use the wrong words. And a good learning opportunity for those who thought misogyny meant anything mean or unkind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way to know if they are misogynistic. They may be making the same sounds about the male lifeguard who is also overweight. I know a teen boy who is overweight and other boys and girls work the word whale and whale related words and sounds into all kinds of conversations around him. It isn't necessarily misandry.

Splitting hairs, IMO. Nastiness and -isms of varying flavors.

No it really isn't splitting hairs. Misogyny doesn't mean anything that is mean or unkind to anyone.

Let's not drown in academic critical theory. Stay practical for a minute.

Yours truly,
Social Scientist

Being practical doesn't require incorrect terminology. It isn't hard to not use the wrong words. And a good learning opportunity for those who thought misogyny meant anything mean or unkind.

People seem to be clear on the definition of misogyny. You seem to be in to finding a way to defend bullying on the job, but why tolerate it? Get another teen who wants to make $7.25 an hour and knows how to behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If these were my boys, I'd want that girl to go to the supervisor, and I'd want that supervisor to explain in no uncertain terms that the behavior is 100% not acceptable and that they are on suspended leave for a few days. Or fired.

This should be covered in training, btw. Pools are no place for shenanigans like this, in general, and treating coworkers with respect--something that really only SOME teens need to learn because most already know this--is a requirement of the job. Period.

+1 The sooner the boys learn this the better for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I would tell my dd to report and if she didn't, I would do it myself.

Even if they boys get fired or blacklisted for next year summer position, it is still a very good lesson for them. Better for them to learn NOW while they are teens and only a summer gig than later as adults in their career field. It will be a valuable lesson - better than any money they are making now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my dd to report and if she didn't, I would do it myself.

Even if they boys get fired or blacklisted for next year summer position, it is still a very good lesson for them. Better for them to learn NOW while they are teens and only a summer gig than later as adults in their career field. It will be a valuable lesson - better than any money they are making now.

I agree with your last statement. Presumably the boys' parents want them to have this summer job not just so they'd stay out of trouble and earn some money, but so that they develop some valuable job skills for the future. If one of them was my son I'd be grateful to the girl for reporting and to the manager for delivering the lesson that, in the real world, the wrong kind of joke can get you fired. On the other hand, presumably OP wants her daughter working for the same reason -- to learn how adults handle themselves on the job. So under no circumstances would I be talking to her supervisor myself.