I'm in a submissive, traditional marriage. AMA

[Anonymous]

While that lifestyle sounds horrific to me, your found something that works for your family. Just wonder if you are happy? If so...good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask his approval to buy clothes for yourself? Does he need to approve the kind of clothes you buy?

It's very infrequent, but generally I will let him know there's a hole in my most often worn shoes or whatever the case is, and he'll suggest I replace them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This type of gender balanced arrangement worked beautifully for thousands of years. No wonder there are so many broken homes today. Women are natural caregivers.

Devoting their lives to supporting their man, rearing the children, managing the the household is both honorable and sensible.

I am quite sure OP is very happy. Instead of being snarky and jealous are her healthy, feminine role, why not take a lesson. Respect the diversity of traditional values that she has represents.

It was not an "arrangement" for thousands of years, in many cultures (not all) men had absolute authority of their wives, just the same as if she were cattle. It was a relationship of dominance, authority, and dependance. OF COURSE a woman could never leave her DH. Throughout history many women never even had a choice of who her captor was going to be …er I mean husband. Women in these roles are like children. Can a child leave an abusive parent? No, they are dependent. They have no choice, but to put up and shut up.

I'm sure this worked beautifully for the majority of the male population, however the SECOND women got a chance to break out of the chains, in a mass exodus we were out.

Thank God I live in a day and age where I and only I am responsible for my own survival and welfare and there is accountability for men's treatment of women.

BTW, you do not have to be submissive to be feminine, support your man, rear children and manage a household. I do that quite well in partnership with my DH. Not sure why you think equality and femininity are mutually exclusive. Maybe you've had some bad experiences that have shaped your outlook.

[Anonymous]

So your husband can't babysit? Or do the kids have to be asleep before you can leave?

He will take one or two of the kids with him on an errand sometimes. I don't really like driving when it's dark out. So if the little ones are napping on the weekend and he's up with one or two I might run an errand but that's rare. Generally we prefer to spend our time together than apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you decline sex? Do you decline sex?

Guaranteed her DH has a madonna whore complex. I bet it is scheduled and "traditional"…as least with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you decline sex? Do you decline sex?

I have a few times, when I wasn't feeling well or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How many kids?

We have four.

[Anonymous]

What do you consider submissive and traditional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider submissive and traditional?

Being modest in appearance and actions, deferring to the other person, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This type of gender balanced arrangement worked beautifully for thousands of years. No wonder there are so many broken homes today. Women are natural caregivers.

Devoting their lives to supporting their man, rearing the children, managing the the household is both honorable and sensible.

I am quite sure OP is very happy. Instead of being snarky and jealous are her healthy, feminine role, why not take a lesson. Respect the diversity of traditional values that she has represents.

Lol! It worked well for thousands of years? For who? Take a look at Yemen and Saudi and you can peek back thousands of years and let us know how well that works for everyone.

The OPs relationship is not healthy. It is warped and so are you. Jealois? Hilarious! I'd rather be a spinster <b>alone with my cats than have the OPs life</b>. You can take that to the bank.

You might just join their ranks one day if you can't distinguish between human rights violations in places like Yemen, and a healthy relationship defined by natural gender roles molded by generations of biological, social and evolutionary norms.

[Anonymous]

What's the age difference between you and your DH? You say you were young when you married -- did your parents hand over "authority" of you to an equally young person because he was a man or is he much older and more experienced than you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How many kids?

We have four.

Did you or he want them, or both? Will you have more? Are you on antidepressants? Do you get tired of playing the "good wife" role? Are you educated? Do you work? What do you do full time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This type of gender balanced arrangement worked beautifully for thousands of years. No wonder there are so many broken homes today. Women are natural caregivers.

Devoting their lives to supporting their man, rearing the children, managing the the household is both honorable and sensible.

I am quite sure OP is very happy. Instead of being snarky and jealous are her healthy, feminine role, why not take a lesson. Respect the diversity of traditional values that she has represents.

It's also incredibly vulnerable for the woman and her children if the man decides he no longer wants that, becomes disabled or drops dead. Don't blame the women for opting out of a rigged game.

It's not rigged. Why do you think the court system typically awards women custody, alimony and child support?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This type of gender balanced arrangement worked beautifully for thousands of years. No wonder there are so many broken homes today. Women are natural caregivers.

Devoting their lives to supporting their man, rearing the children, managing the the household is both honorable and sensible.

I am quite sure OP is very happy. Instead of being snarky and jealous are her healthy, feminine role, why not take a lesson. Respect the diversity of traditional values that she has represents.

It was not an "arrangement" for thousands of years, in many cultures (not all) men had absolute authority of their wives, just the same as if she were cattle. It was a relationship of dominance, authority, and dependance. OF COURSE a woman could never leave her DH. Throughout history many women never even had a choice of who her captor was going to be …er I mean husband. Women in these roles are like children. Can a child leave an abusive parent? No, they are dependent. They have no choice, but to put up and shut up.

I'm sure this worked beautifully for the majority of the male population, however the SECOND women got a chance to break out of the chains, in a mass exodus we were out.

<b>Thank God I live in a day and age where I and only I am responsible for my own survival and welfare </b>and there is accountability for men's treatment of women.

BTW, you do not have to be submissive to be feminine, support your man, rear children and manage a household. I do that quite well in partnership with my DH. Not sure why you think equality and femininity are mutually exclusive. Maybe you've had some bad experiences that have shaped your outlook.

Did you intend to omit your children or is it really only about you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How many kids?

We have four.

Did you or he want them, or both? Will you have more? Are you on antidepressants? Do you get tired of playing the "good wife" role? Are you educated? Do you work? What do you do full time?

You don't think what she does is not a full time job or work? That is so flawed. Now you're dissing women who choose to be SAHMs or SAHMs!