I'm in a submissive, traditional marriage. AMA

[Anonymous]

What is a submissive marriage? Do you let other marriages dominate yours?

If you are incapable of making responsible decisions to the degree that you indicate, who will take care of your children if your husband suddenly dies? Does he have a brother? Has your husband looked into group homes where you could live, foster homes for the kids?

Did you ask your husband for permission to submit (ahem) this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier asking for what makes your marriage traditional and submissive.

What attracted you to your husband? Did you enter into this style of marriage explicitly from the outset, or did you just sort of fall into these rigid gender roles over time?

Can you think of ways in which your relationship could be considered controlling or abusive?

I was attracted to him because he was good-looking, kind, confident, and smart. I think the one thing we discussed was that he would earn the majority of the family income and I would do the majority of child-rearing. I'm sure some people think it is controlling or abusive, but I don't feel that way.

That in and of itself is not submissive, controlling, or abusive.

[Anonymous]

I'd love to see you on the Dr Phil show!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a submissive marriage? Do you let other marriages dominate yours?

If you are incapable of making responsible decisions to the degree that you indicate, who will take care of your children if your husband suddenly dies? Does he have a brother? Has your husband looked into group homes where you could live, foster homes for the kids?

Did you ask your husband for permission to submit (ahem) this thread?

Maybe she gets given to his next oldest brother to be taken on as a wife? Because that is what happens in traditional marriages.

[Anonymous]

Will you be discussing this thread with your husband? Did you ask his permission to post it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will you be discussing this thread with your husband? Did you ask his permission to post it?

Lol, no I didn't ask his permission. I don't know - I may discuss it with him, may not.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel that using a term like "traditional marriage" lends your relationship some respectability when really, in 2014 America, it's truly just pathetic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you be discussing this thread with your husband? Did you ask his permission to post it?

Lol, no I didn't ask his permission. I don't know - I may discuss it with him, may not.

Better get ready for a time out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

Any more than $10? So you have to get your DH's approval any time you buy groceries? Get gas for your car? Go out to lunch with a friend?

Those are all things we would discuss the night before. We generally go food shopping on weekends. So on Wednesday or Thursday when we run out of milk I'll get more without running that by him. If I want to take one of the kids out for frozen yogurt after school I won't discuss that ahead of time.

In general this sounds completely exhausting... for your husband. I am pretty sure my husband does NOT want final say in the majority of our decisions, he prefers that we decide together. Two heads better than one and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you be discussing this thread with your husband? Did you ask his permission to post it?

Lol, no I didn't ask his permission. I don't know - I may discuss it with him, may not.

Better get ready for a time out.

Of for Daddy to give her a spanking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

Any more than $10? So you have to get your DH's approval any time you buy groceries? Get gas for your car? Go out to lunch with a friend?

Those are all things we would discuss the night before. We generally go food shopping on weekends. So on Wednesday or Thursday when we run out of milk I'll get more without running that by him. If I want to take one of the kids out for frozen yogurt after school I won't discuss that ahead of time.

In general this sounds completely exhausting... for your husband. I am pretty sure my husband does NOT want final say in the majority of our decisions, he prefers that we decide together. Two heads better than one and all that.

No shit! As a SAHM, one of the benefits is that I do all of that stuff during the week. Who wants to go to a grocery store on a weekend unless you HAVE to. Maybe OP is not allowed to drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

Any more than $10? So you have to get your DH's approval any time you buy groceries? Get gas for your car? Go out to lunch with a friend?

Those are all things we would discuss the night before. We generally go food shopping on weekends. So on Wednesday or Thursday when we run out of milk I'll get more without running that by him. If I want to take one of the kids out for frozen yogurt after school I won't discuss that ahead of time.

In general this sounds completely exhausting... for your husband. I am pretty sure my husband does NOT want final say in the majority of our decisions, he prefers that we decide together. Two heads better than one and all that.

I don't think he finds it taxing.

[Anonymous]

Does your family own a home and a car? Is your name on the deed/title for those assets? Does your husband save money for your retirement?

What would happen if you had a serious difference of opinion in a parenting matter? Would he get the final say? Would you still give him the final say if it was, to you, a safety issue?

[Anonymous]

troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

Any more than $10? So you have to get your DH's approval any time you buy groceries? Get gas for your car? Go out to lunch with a friend?

Those are all things we would discuss the night before. We generally go food shopping on weekends. So on Wednesday or Thursday when we run out of milk I'll get more without running that by him. If I want to take one of the kids out for frozen yogurt after school I won't discuss that ahead of time.

In general this sounds completely exhausting... for your husband. I am pretty sure my husband does NOT want final say in the majority of our decisions, he prefers that we decide together. Two heads better than one and all that.

No shit! As a SAHM, one of the benefits is that I do all of that stuff during the week. Who wants to go to a grocery store on a weekend unless you HAVE to. Maybe OP is not allowed to drive.

I am allowed to drive. But going to the grocery store with several small children is difficult by myself. Easier to go with a second adult. If we go after DH gets home from work during the week then bedtime for the children would be pushed back.