I'm in a submissive, traditional marriage. AMA

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like a very immature and emotionally stunted relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you ever get frustrated not being able to make a decision without your husband's approval?

No. There are some decisions he leaves to me (what the kids wear on a day to day basis, for example), but bigger ones get his final decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you planning to raise your kids the same way? Have you thought of the potential drawbacks of doing so?

I think so, but if they want to seek out something different I'll still love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you planning to raise your kids the same way? Have you thought of the potential drawbacks of doing so?

I think so, but if they want to seek out something different I'll still love them.

This was a 2 part question.

[Anonymous]

Has your husband ever cheated on you to your knowledge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband ever cheated on you to your knowledge?

No he hasn't.

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier asking for what makes your marriage traditional and submissive.

What attracted you to your husband? Did you enter into this style of marriage explicitly from the outset, or did you just sort of fall into these rigid gender roles over time?

Can you think of ways in which your relationship could be considered controlling or abusive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

$10? Um, ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

Any more than $10? So you have to get your DH's approval any time you buy groceries? Get gas for your car? Go out to lunch with a friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

Any more than $10? So you have to get your DH's approval any time you buy groceries? Get gas for your car? Go out to lunch with a friend?

The reason this seems so implausible is because this person is probably TROLLING!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband ever cheated on you to your knowledge?

No he hasn't.

I'd bet he gets rub and tugs from 18yr old men on his lunch break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier asking for what makes your marriage traditional and submissive.

What attracted you to your husband? Did you enter into this style of marriage explicitly from the outset, or did you just sort of fall into these rigid gender roles over time?

Can you think of ways in which your relationship could be considered controlling or abusive?

I was attracted to him because he was good-looking, kind, confident, and smart. I think the one thing we discussed was that he would earn the majority of the family income and I would do the majority of child-rearing. I'm sure some people think it is controlling or abusive, but I don't feel that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to ask before spending money?

Do either of you have separate interests or spend time with friends separately?

DH would be very upset if I left the house without money, in case of an emergency. Yes, I tell him before I'm going to spend any more than $10 on something. We do have some separate interests. Yes, we have time with friends without each other. I am a stay at home mother so I will get together with other women during the day.

Any more than $10? So you have to get your DH's approval any time you buy groceries? Get gas for your car? Go out to lunch with a friend?

Those are all things we would discuss the night before. We generally go food shopping on weekends. So on Wednesday or Thursday when we run out of milk I'll get more without running that by him. If I want to take one of the kids out for frozen yogurt after school I won't discuss that ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier asking for what makes your marriage traditional and submissive.

What attracted you to your husband? Did you enter into this style of marriage explicitly from the outset, or did you just sort of fall into these rigid gender roles over time?

Can you think of ways in which your relationship could be considered controlling or abusive?

I was attracted to him because he was good-looking, kind, confident, and smart. I think the one thing we discussed was that he would earn the majority of the family income and I would do the majority of child-rearing. I'm sure some people think it is controlling or abusive, but I don't feel that way.

This is not your relationship. Your relationship is most definitely based on control.

My DH earns the money and I raise the children, but we are equal partners in the relationship. I no longer need a daddy to tell me what to do and when to do it. My DH is secure in himself and does not need to feel power over me.