Do you ever find yourself having a "smug married" moment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who has always tried to one up me on EVERYTHING. I'm married with two kids and I've been with the same man for almost 20 years; married for half that. When I first met my husband and she realized how serious we were getting she met someone and got married very quickly in the Caribbean. He was kind of creepy but I never said anything; 22 months later she was divorced.

I got married about 3 years after she divorced and had a great weeding. She was a bridesmaid and was very engaged. She was dating her second husband when I got married and they married 3 years after I got married. I was not invited to be in her wedding but I attended and was very excited for her. Her wedding was almost an exact replica of mine and she tried to outdo me than also.

Fast forward 10 years and she's separating. This DH isn't a creep he's just someone who wasn't right for her.

I don't feel the "smug married" thing but I do feel something. I'm not jumping for joy that she is divorcing DH #2 but maybe I feel a little [insert word] because everything was always such a competition on her part. She's a great friend and I love her dearly but I've always been bothered by the underlying "outdoing" stuff.

You = creepy. A little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, I've had those moments.

Then I realize I'm being an idiot and assuming that everybody values exactly the same things I do.

Some of your footloose and fancy-free friends are probably pitying you.

Wise words, pp.

[Anonymous]

Damn, I didn't know y'all hated those pictures of my dogs I've been posting all along!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah, you are fine being smug.

People who post pictures of their dog are pretty pathetic. Ranks right up there with people who post pictures of their meals. People, no one but you cares about this shit. Your dog and your brunch don't have a loving grandmother or cousins who want to keep up with them (why photos of kids aren't pathetic, even though most fb friends probably don't care about those, either).

I have a married but childless friend who's in her 40s and posts so many photos of her dog, it's clear it's some weird need to be loved publicly or something. And then she loves to post about how her dog is just like a baby. LOL sure thing crazy insecure lady!

Realize that many people think this about your kid and pictures of your home, vacation, DH, etc.

+ 1,000,000

I started using fb as a student and finally left because I cannot bear to look at one more boring ass kid picture. I get it, your kid is the greatest child to walk the face of the earth, deeper meaning in life, blah blah blah but sheesh must we women be so one dimensional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(ie from Bridget Jones)

I admit I have this type of moment on occasion. Two in particular: a few friends who are not married and/or do not have children but are in their 30s post tons of pictures on facebook of their dog. This seems kind of sad to me. The other type of person I feel smug about is 35ish year olds who are still out bar hopping on the weekends. I just feel like their life is a little pointless, without deeper meaning that marriage and kids bring.

Yes I know these feelings are really obnoxious on my part. Would never admit in real life to feeling this smugness!

Don't worry, it will be repaid to you in spades when you get divorced right around the time those women are getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didyou mean to say you sometimes feel like an asshole, OP? Because that's closer to what you're describing.

Look at it this way:

1. They have/want different things than you. How would you feel if they felt all smug about your life choices? I mean, it is easy to say that YOUR choices are the right choices and justify your smugness, but they're not the only valid, fulfilling choices, believe it or not.

OR

2. They want what you have but haven't been able to find it yet, which makes your smug assholery even worse.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel similarly towards pictures of kids/babies. Don't you have anything else going on in your life? Do you really think other people care about Larla's first bite of peaches? Get over yourself and your offspring. A husband and kids don't give your life meaning. Check out relationship forum if you need confirmation.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, sorry but no one can guarantee that you won't wake up tomorrow a single mom of your kids after your spouse dies (it can even happen to the healthy, young ones).

Don't mean to be morbid but no one is really in a position to be smug. Enjoy what you have today and don't assume you are better than anyone or even luckier.

+1

[Anonymous]

I am happily married with a dd. I do get envious of my single friends who can come and go as they please. I get envious of the college grad who has her whole life ahead of her, and everything is new and exciting. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

[Anonymous]

OP and other smug married women. I have a theory I'm testing. How old were you when you married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and other smug married women. I have a theory I'm testing. How old were you when you married?

About half the age they will be when they get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and other smug married women. I have a theory I'm testing. How old were you when you married?

27

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and other smug married women. I have a theory I'm testing. How old were you when you married?

About half the age they will be when they get divorced.

About the same age their children's future stepmom will be. And if there's any justice, she will probably be smug as fuck, too.

[Anonymous]

No because I was one of those "singletons" and I wanted to meet my one. I finally did.

[Anonymous]

I hate all pet pictures. I think some of you are missing the point on the kid pics. Many of us live far away from our moms, dads, bros, sisters, and our family and closest friends want to see the babies. Who can say this about pet pictures? Totally off topic I know, but I don't care about the smug thing. I do, however, loathe pet pictures.