Opening presents during a birthday party versus after

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd is 11 and her friends open gifts at parties. The girls are very involved in picking out the gifts for their friends and all enjoy seeing what was given. Same goes for our ds who is 9. We even opened gifts at my 6 yr old ds bowling party this year. The boys loved it and it only took 15 min. We make a point of taking a picture of the birthday kid and the gift giver after each gift is opened. This helps keep the other kids moving around and makes for a great Thank you note sent after the party.

We tend to have smaller parties with 10 or less guests which make this more manageable. Teaching kids to be gracious is important. So is teaching them that when they go to a party they are there to celebrate someone elses birthday and that child will be getting the gifts.

They don't love it. My son was at a bowling party and hated watching his best friend open gifts. Don't kid yourself.

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No, your kid is just a selfish little twit who doesn't give a crap about his best friend and only wanted to bowl and you are accepting of it as normal behavior.

Seems your response is in line with my (much harsher) response to the parent whose child goes home and complains about watching the birthday kid open gifts.

It's sad these parents are raising such self-absorbed little people. Now would be a great time to teach kids the parties are not about them. They can have their day when it's their birthday.

It's sad people are teaching their children to have such little regard for others. I would've been APPALLED if my son ever complained about watching kids open gifts.

Your self absorption is astounding - either that or your social circle is so wealthy or you're imagination is so limited that you can't contemplate the discomfort of a child who is unable to afford a gift or gift that is considered less worthy than another. Of course, I'm sure you'll spout that your DC is so well mannered that she would never do such a thing. I'd have a hard time believing that given your attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd is 11 and her friends open gifts at parties. The girls are very involved in picking out the gifts for their friends and all enjoy seeing what was given. Same goes for our ds who is 9. We even opened gifts at my 6 yr old ds bowling party this year. The boys loved it and it only took 15 min. We make a point of taking a picture of the birthday kid and the gift giver after each gift is opened. This helps keep the other kids moving around and makes for a great Thank you note sent after the party.

We tend to have smaller parties with 10 or less guests which make this more manageable. Teaching kids to be gracious is important. So is teaching them that when they go to a party they are there to celebrate someone elses birthday and that child will be getting the gifts.

They don't love it. My son was at a bowling party and hated watching his best friend open gifts. Don't kid yourself.

.

No, your kid is just a selfish little twit who doesn't give a crap about his best friend and only wanted to bowl and you are accepting of it as normal behavior.

Pattern has evolved. Anyone who disagrees with you will cause you to insult her child.

I was the original poster of this comment that has her kids open gifts at parties. I did not reply or call you a name. I based my comment about the kids loving the gift opening because each and every child asked me more than once if the birthday boy would open the gifts. When we had finished bowling, eaten lunch and had cake we still had time left in the party room so we went ahead and opened gifts. All of the boys cheered, grrabbed their gifts and and were clamoring for thier turn to give their gift. Maybe this all depends on the norm in your group of friends. In our social circle kids open the gifts at all of the parties. Because we know that the gift givers take time to actually pick out a gift for the specific birthday child. When you do that you care about the birthday kid opening your gift. This seems to work well for our group of friends and this thread has made me even more grateful for that fact.

[Anonymous]

My child absolutely loves having birthday parties. They are no gifts parties. She doesn't care one bit because we never set up the expectations that there would be gifts. The party is about celebrating with friends, not getting them to buy you stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who hates watching someone open a present? How selfish is that. We moved here 3 years ago and that is the norm in my area in NJ so kids learn to give/receive. My kids love picking out presents and always ask their friends to open them even if they don't at the party. I feel like parents are over involved here in this area. Massive parties means a party every other weekend. They buy the gifts and kids show up with a wrapped box they didn't help buy or wrap so why would they care? I think that is where the embarrassing part lies.

A child who was unable to bring a present or who couldn't afford to spend much on one would hate watching the host open presents. I know I did as kid. Like the PP, we grew up in an area that was economically depressed. Parties were focused on having fun and eating cake - not at all like the greed-fests here. And, good bags? I'd never heard of them until I moved to this area. Attending the party was the 'goody'.

One little girl walked up to me at the start of my DD's 6th birthday party and asked me what the goodie bag was going to be. I couldn't believe it. You should have seen her face when I didn't give any. Wasn't the party, the rental facility, the lunch and cake enough?

No because in the DC Metro it is all who can beat who in birthdays. Bigger venue, most people, lavish goodie bags, most expensive entertainer, etc.... There are parties that I don't see the parents even interact with their own birthday child. Just talking about all the wonderful things they have done with the other hens. This area is self-absorbed. They want what they want. Instant gratification. That is why some people here think a simple party with some games and present opening is selfish. Because they aren't being entertained enough. They gave to stop and care for a few minutes and that is asking too much.

You don't get it...watching a kid open his presents is NOT entertaining. My kids would love an inexpensive home party with games, though.d

[Anonymous]

Things said at these parties:

Bday boy: "I love this! Remember when we played this Johnny, at your house". Kid next to me to his mother: Mom, I've never been to John's house.

Bday boy: wow, thanks I LOVE it. (Even though he got 3 of the same thing.

Bday boy to my son 2 seconds before he opened presents: "Spider-Man is for babies!" And of course my son had picked out a Spider-Man gift for him..

So no, kids don't love watching your kid open gifts. My kids are well mannered and not self absorbed, before someone misjudges.

[Anonymous]

Opening gifts at bday parties was always a favorite thing to do at parties growing up. Always part of the fun of the party! I didn't realize until having kids years back that people don't open gifts anymore. I was saddened by that, as is my eldest child. He spends the time picking something out his friend will like and is eager to give it to them. Then they just put it aside. My kids don't give a crap how "expensive" a gift is. I think it's ridiculous that parents actually judge other people's gifts as others are saying. I know that when gift time happens at the parties I've been to, us parents are chatting in the background not paying attention and the kids are having a blast. I will continue to let my kids open gifts at their home bday parties. All the guests are also welcome to open them up and play with them with my children for the remainder of the party. Never had an issue. Ever.

[Anonymous]

I actually find it inconsiderate when you don't open my gift. I gave you something, please open it .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Opening gifts at bday parties was always a favorite thing to do at parties growing up. Always part of the fun of the party! I didn't realize until having kids years back that people don't open gifts anymore. I was saddened by that, as is my eldest child. He spends the time picking something out his friend will like and is eager to give it to them. Then they just put it aside. My kids don't give a crap how "expensive" a gift is. I think it's ridiculous that parents actually judge other people's gifts as others are saying. I know that when gift time happens at the parties I've been to, us parents are chatting in the background not paying attention and the kids are having a blast. I will continue to let my kids open gifts at their home bday parties. All the guests are also welcome to open them up and play with them with my children for the remainder of the party. Never had an issue. Ever.

It is so boring when this happens. No, the parents aren't chatting during this as the attendees, parents included, gather around for the worst part of the party. Always have an issue. Always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things said at these parties:

Bday boy: "I love this! Remember when we played this Johnny, at your house". Kid next to me to his mother: Mom, I've never been to John's house.

Bday boy: wow, thanks I LOVE it. (Even though he got 3 of the same thing.

Bday boy to my son 2 seconds before he opened presents: "Spider-Man is for babies!" And of course my son had picked out a Spider-Man gift for him..

So no, kids don't love watching your kid open gifts. My kids are well mannered and not self absorbed, before someone misjudges.

I was at one a few weeks ago and the child got a Skylanders figure. The kid said to the gift giver, "I'm not allowed to play with Skylanders." Poor thing (the gift giver)...but as long as the birthday boy had fun...oh wait, that wasn't fun for him either. Parents, please don't open gifts during parties. Those that attend really, really dislike it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually find it inconsiderate when you don't open my gift. I gave you something, please open it .

We do, but later.

[Anonymous]

I am curious, why are all you parents at these parties? I drop my kids off at parties and our parties are drop off too. Where are these parties that parents stay the whole time? Talk about a LAME party. I bet the parents run to Target and grab the first thing they can find and don't include the child in the gift giving anyway.

Maybe you need to let the kids do what feels right for them. My kids and their circle of friends like opening presents so we do. They like picking gifts out that are fun and I like the rare sightings of manners on both sides during this process. Sometimes my oldest will go to a party that they don't open presents and she pulls the child aside to open it before she leaves. Only once was a child told she was not allowed and that was fine. For the most part kids want to open presents and thank people in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things said at these parties:

Bday boy: "I love this! Remember when we played this Johnny, at your house". Kid next to me to his mother: Mom, I've never been to John's house.

Bday boy: wow, thanks I LOVE it. (Even though he got 3 of the same thing.

Bday boy to my son 2 seconds before he opened presents: "Spider-Man is for babies!" And of course my son had picked out a Spider-Man gift for him..

So no, kids don't love watching your kid open gifts. My kids are well mannered and not self absorbed, before someone misjudges.

I was at one a few weeks ago and the child got a Skylanders figure. The kid said to the gift giver, "I'm not allowed to play with Skylanders." Poor thing (the gift giver)...but as long as the birthday boy had fun...oh wait, that wasn't fun for him either. Parents, please don't open gifts during parties. Those that attend really, really dislike it.

I have 2 kids that love watching their friends open gifts so don't use you me in your personal opinion of all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things said at these parties:

Bday boy: "I love this! Remember when we played this Johnny, at your house". Kid next to me to his mother: Mom, I've never been to John's house.

Bday boy: wow, thanks I LOVE it. (Even though he got 3 of the same thing.

Bday boy to my son 2 seconds before he opened presents: "Spider-Man is for babies!" And of course my son had picked out a Spider-Man gift for him..

So no, kids don't love watching your kid open gifts. My kids are well mannered and not self absorbed, before someone misjudges.

I was at one a few weeks ago and the child got a Skylanders figure. The kid said to the gift giver, "I'm not allowed to play with Skylanders." Poor thing (the gift giver)...but as long as the birthday boy had fun...oh wait, that wasn't fun for him either. Parents, please don't open gifts during parties. Those that attend really, really dislike it.

I have 2 kids that love watching their friends open gifts so don't use you me in your personal opinion of all.

?

[Anonymous]

New poster here: if the attending kids are polite enough, how do you have any idea whether they live or hate watching the gifts being opened? At least admit you have no idea. I can tell you a woman at our bus stop tells everyone how the kids "love" that at her parties and they do not at all. 3 mothers have all discussed how their kids hate it. This is the mom of an 8 yr old girl, and the moms of 8,9, and 10 yr old boys (myself included).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here: if the attending kids are polite enough, how do you have any idea whether they live or hate watching the gifts being opened? At least admit you have no idea. I can tell you a woman at our bus stop tells everyone how the kids "love" that at her parties and they do not at all. 3 mothers have all discussed how their kids hate it. This is the mom of an 8 yr old girl, and the moms of 8,9, and 10 yr old boys (myself included).

Love, not live...sorry.