Opening presents during a birthday party versus after

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't get me started on this. It is a REALLY big pet peeve of mine. Birthday parties are supposed to be about the birthday child but in this area it is about the kids coming to the party. People invite kids they aren't even close with, sometimes up to 20-30 people for kids as young as 5. Entertain them, give them tons of food and send them home with bags of goodies that cost at least $5 sometimes $10 of stuff. There is a focus on the child for 10 seconds to sing happy birthday and then off everyone leaves. You are hundreds of dollars out and half the time the birthday kid is overwhelmed.

I have house parties and while we do entertain and have fun things, I also make sure my children open every birthday present and thank their friends individually. It teaches kids watching patience, value of a gift making someone happy, and sense of self worth. It teaches the birthday child manners, appreciation, and friendship fulfillment. Many of these qualities are missing at these parties.

My rules for house parties. Child limit is no more than double their age. My 4yr old had 6 people for a Princess Tea Party this year, my 7yr old had 12 for his carnival themed party, and my 12yr old had 21 for her olympic games party. To her defense, she switched schools this past year and had about 10 close friends from each. I think my limit should be under 20 though

Once the number of kids get over 10, we do present games to keep everyone interested. Guess one thing besides your gift the child will get. Put it on a scrap of paper and if he opens it, you show me your slip and you get a little prize (2 hershey kisses.) The 7yr old boys LOVED that this year.

My older daughter did present BINGO. The board was 3x3 and it had options for gifts. Options were visa gift card, food item, store gift card, accessories, locker item, clothing, sport item, wrapping paper with red in it, gift bag. Each card was different. It was fun! I based it on years of gifts her friends tend to give her.

Anyway, the kids love it and they look forward to our house parties. My kids get very into planning and we do fun crazy games. Cost never goes above $100 except for the last one for my 12yr old.

We also do NOT do party bags. We burn CD's with the child's favorite 10-15 songs of the year. Cheap, fun and not a waste. Younger kids listen to them in the car, older kids burn them into their iPod.

2 Hershey kisses for guessing a present the kid opens during a yawn fest if present opening? Sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd is 11 and her friends open gifts at parties. The girls are very involved in picking out the gifts for their friends and all enjoy seeing what was given. Same goes for our ds who is 9. We even opened gifts at my 6 yr old ds bowling party this year. The boys loved it and it only took 15 min. We make a point of taking a picture of the birthday kid and the gift giver after each gift is opened. This helps keep the other kids moving around and makes for a great Thank you note sent after the party.

We tend to have smaller parties with 10 or less guests which make this more manageable. Teaching kids to be gracious is important. So is teaching them that when they go to a party they are there to celebrate someone elses birthday and that child will be getting the gifts.

They don't love it. My son was at a bowling party and hated watching his best friend open gifts. Don't kid yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child's gift is that he got a fabulous party, apart from that, he needs to be a good host, making sure that his friends are enjoying the party.

This. We don't have parties every year for our kids. Growing up my parents didn't have the time, energy, or money to host home birthday parties for us very often so I feel it is a luxury, not a given for our kids to have a birthday party with friends. Also, I agree with pp about the gifts and not knowing what someone's situation may be. I remember in high school some kids would give a $50 sweaters to their best friend as a holiday gift. My family was in a different economic situation than my classmates so there was no way I could give gifts on that level. I know sometimes kids have come to my dd party and said that they forgot to bring a gift and will get it to us later. Even if it never happens, there is no pressure or public notice that they didn't bring a gift and we want the focus on them being there to celebrate their friend's birthday.

In regards to knowing a gift was appreciated, there have been people that take a picture with their kid opening the gift/using the toy and include it with the thank you note to personalize it even more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky to open in front of all. Some parents cannot afford the latest or best gift. All the practice in the world will not make the birthday child as enthusiastic about opening that gift. Also, let's be blunt. Who wants to sit around and watch someone else open gifts. This isn't a hen party baby shower.

Like I said, your form of tacky is different than mine. And my child doesn't know what the latest and greatest is. She is 8 and is happy with the things she gets and has the manners to open them and say thank you. We also still send thank you cards too. Not my problem your kid is only interested in certain gifts and must act like an ass when he/she opens them. I don't blame you for waiting until he/she is all alone. I guess they can just sit there and complain about who gave them the better present?? Classy.

Only child?

Again, no kid wants to watch your gracious kid open presents. No kids like that!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't get me started on this. It is a REALLY big pet peeve of mine. Birthday parties are supposed to be about the birthday child but in this area it is about the kids coming to the party. People invite kids they aren't even close with, sometimes up to 20-30 people for kids as young as 5. Entertain them, give them tons of food and send them home with bags of goodies that cost at least $5 sometimes $10 of stuff. There is a focus on the child for 10 seconds to sing happy birthday and then off everyone leaves. You are hundreds of dollars out and half the time the birthday kid is overwhelmed.

I have house parties and while we do entertain and have fun things, I also make sure my children open every birthday present and thank their friends individually. It teaches kids watching patience, value of a gift making someone happy, and sense of self worth. It teaches the birthday child manners, appreciation, and friendship fulfillment. Many of these qualities are missing at these parties.

My rules for house parties. Child limit is no more than double their age. My 4yr old had 6 people for a Princess Tea Party this year, my 7yr old had 12 for his carnival themed party, and my 12yr old had 21 for her olympic games party. To her defense, she switched schools this past year and had about 10 close friends from each. I think my limit should be under 20 though

Once the number of kids get over 10, we do present games to keep everyone interested. Guess one thing besides your gift the child will get. Put it on a scrap of paper and if he opens it, you show me your slip and you get a little prize (2 hershey kisses.) The 7yr old boys LOVED that this year.

My older daughter did present BINGO. The board was 3x3 and it had options for gifts. Options were visa gift card, food item, store gift card, accessories, locker item, clothing, sport item, wrapping paper with red in it, gift bag. Each card was different. It was fun! I based it on years of gifts her friends tend to give her.

Anyway, the kids love it and they look forward to our house parties. My kids get very into planning and we do fun crazy games. Cost never goes above $100 except for the last one for my 12yr old.

We also do NOT do party bags. We burn CD's with the child's favorite 10-15 songs of the year. Cheap, fun and not a waste. Younger kids listen to them in the car, older kids burn them into their iPod.

Do party bingo but not based on gifts. You don't want to hear it but it's true that my kids come home and COMPLAIN how they watched your kid open presents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't get me started on this. It is a REALLY big pet peeve of mine. Birthday parties are supposed to be about the birthday child but in this area it is about the kids coming to the party. People invite kids they aren't even close with, sometimes up to 20-30 people for kids as young as 5. Entertain them, give them tons of food and send them home with bags of goodies that cost at least $5 sometimes $10 of stuff. There is a focus on the child for 10 seconds to sing happy birthday and then off everyone leaves. You are hundreds of dollars out and half the time the birthday kid is overwhelmed.

I have house parties and while we do entertain and have fun things, I also make sure my children open every birthday present and thank their friends individually. It teaches kids watching patience, value of a gift making someone happy, and sense of self worth. It teaches the birthday child manners, appreciation, and friendship fulfillment. Many of these qualities are missing at these parties.

My rules for house parties. Child limit is no more than double their age. My 4yr old had 6 people for a Princess Tea Party this year, my 7yr old had 12 for his carnival themed party, and my 12yr old had 21 for her olympic games party. To her defense, she switched schools this past year and had about 10 close friends from each. I think my limit should be under 20 though

Once the number of kids get over 10, we do present games to keep everyone interested. Guess one thing besides your gift the child will get. Put it on a scrap of paper and if he opens it, you show me your slip and you get a little prize (2 hershey kisses.) The 7yr old boys LOVED that this year.

My older daughter did present BINGO. The board was 3x3 and it had options for gifts. Options were visa gift card, food item, store gift card, accessories, locker item, clothing, sport item, wrapping paper with red in it, gift bag. Each card was different. It was fun! I based it on years of gifts her friends tend to give her.

Anyway, the kids love it and they look forward to our house parties. My kids get very into planning and we do fun crazy games. Cost never goes above $100 except for the last one for my 12yr old.

We also do NOT do party bags. We burn CD's with the child's favorite 10-15 songs of the year. Cheap, fun and not a waste. Younger kids listen to them in the car, older kids burn them into their iPod.

How does your mannerly kid act when she gets two or three duplicates?

[Anonymous]

Haha. Someone who obviously doesn't agree just posted like 6 posts in 6 minutes pretending to be a different person every time. Fail

[Anonymous]

My 12 year old has a group of about 7-8 close friends. For the past 4 or so years, I have let them do whatever they want for her birthday party. We invite them all for a sleepover, feed them, and go with the flow. They always, always want her to open her presents first.

I think the idea of opening presents afterward makes sense for huge parties, parties held at a venue, or parties for young children. But for older kids with smaller parties, it's a great opportunity to learn how to it works. The will find themselves in the same situation at bridal and baby showers in the future. It's important to learn how to be the gracious gift recipient and also to be the observer acknowledging the value of each gift and the thought behind it.

[Anonymous]

How painfully tedious. No one wants to endure this nightmare. At our house we open 4 gifts a day and write thank you cards along the way. DH and I opened our wedding gifts this way too. More enjoyable than a gift opening frenzy imho.

[Anonymous]

According to proper etiquette, if you open a gift in front of the giver and say thank you in person, you do not need to send a thank you note.

[Anonymous]

A party is always for the guests. Any party thrown to get presents for the host (or host's kid) is being thrown by someone without any manners or civility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How painfully tedious. No one wants to endure this nightmare. At our house we open 4 gifts a day and write thank you cards along the way. DH and I opened our wedding gifts this way too. More enjoyable than a gift opening frenzy imho.

If it is so painful, ask that your guests not bring a present then. 4 presents a day? Your kid must hate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A party is always for the guests. Any party thrown to get presents for the host (or host's kid) is being thrown by someone without any manners or civility.

No, it is not just for the guests. I don't throw my child a party to ignore them and only entertain their friends. And if this is the case for you then no one should bring gifts at all. Simple as that. On and no cake either. Can't waste those few minutes "having to" sing happy birthday. So selfish of the host!!! Maybe poll the parents to ask what food their kids like. It would be selfish to have the birthday child decide.

[Anonymous]

My son went to his first bday party where the child didn't open gifts. My son is 7 yrs old. I think it's strange to not open gifts at a party. It's like, "Oh thanks. I'll put that over here so I can open it in private." Why?

[Anonymous]

PP here again. When I was growing up, opening gifts was part of the party. Maybe because parties are now so elaborate and expensive, this practice is no longer common? We went to bday parties at other people's homes or occasionally McDonald's Playland (where I remember my 7th bday), Skateland, etc. Now, perhaps due to time constraints, opening presents at a 2 hr party at an outside the home location is a time waster? These bouncy, indoor play area places have parties in 2 hr blocks so opening gifts would take up too much time? I don't think bday parties are really about the guests (or shouldn't be). It's the kid's birthday so he/she should be the center of attention.