Opening presents during a birthday party versus after

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't get me started on this. It is a REALLY big pet peeve of mine. Birthday parties are supposed to be about the birthday child but in this area it is about the kids coming to the party. People invite kids they aren't even close with, sometimes up to 20-30 people for kids as young as 5. Entertain them, give them tons of food and send them home with bags of goodies that cost at least $5 sometimes $10 of stuff. There is a focus on the child for 10 seconds to sing happy birthday and then off everyone leaves. You are hundreds of dollars out and half the time the birthday kid is overwhelmed.

I have house parties and while we do entertain and have fun things, I also make sure my children open every birthday present and thank their friends individually. It teaches kids watching patience, value of a gift making someone happy, and sense of self worth. It teaches the birthday child manners, appreciation, and friendship fulfillment. Many of these qualities are missing at these parties.

My rules for house parties. Child limit is no more than double their age. My 4yr old had 6 people for a Princess Tea Party this year, my 7yr old had 12 for his carnival themed party, and my 12yr old had 21 for her olympic games party. To her defense, she switched schools this past year and had about 10 close friends from each. I think my limit should be under 20 though

Once the number of kids get over 10, we do present games to keep everyone interested. Guess one thing besides your gift the child will get. Put it on a scrap of paper and if he opens it, you show me your slip and you get a little prize (2 hershey kisses.) The 7yr old boys LOVED that this year.

My older daughter did present BINGO. The board was 3x3 and it had options for gifts. Options were visa gift card, food item, store gift card, accessories, locker item, clothing, sport item, wrapping paper with red in it, gift bag. Each card was different. It was fun! I based it on years of gifts her friends tend to give her.

Anyway, the kids love it and they look forward to our house parties. My kids get very into planning and we do fun crazy games. Cost never goes above $100 except for the last one for my 12yr old.

We also do NOT do party bags. We burn CD's with the child's favorite 10-15 songs of the year. Cheap, fun and not a waste. Younger kids listen to them in the car, older kids burn them into their iPod.

Do party bingo but not based on gifts. You don't want to hear it but it's true that my kids come home and COMPLAIN how they watched your kid open presents.

Seems to be a bit of a pile-on onto this PP, but I have to add one thing. I don't think it's that bad to open presents at the party, but I think my issue with the layout of your party is that it seems to invite ratings of gifts. And it assumes a gift will be given by each child. At my children's birthday parties, there is usually at least one child who forgets to bring their gift (though they give it later at some point.) But I really want the kids to feel it's totally okay not to bring a gift. But if you make it into a game, the children will feel awkward about not having one. Also, the guessing thing seems like it invites materialism. And might make some kids feel crappy about the gift they brought (if it didn't make the list)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd is 11 and her friends open gifts at parties. The girls are very involved in picking out the gifts for their friends and all enjoy seeing what was given. Same goes for our ds who is 9. We even opened gifts at my 6 yr old ds bowling party this year. The boys loved it and it only took 15 min. We make a point of taking a picture of the birthday kid and the gift giver after each gift is opened. This helps keep the other kids moving around and makes for a great Thank you note sent after the party.

We tend to have smaller parties with 10 or less guests which make this more manageable. Teaching kids to be gracious is important. So is teaching them that when they go to a party they are there to celebrate someone elses birthday and that child will be getting the gifts.

They don't love it. My son was at a bowling party and hated watching his best friend open gifts. Don't kid yourself.

.

No, your kid is just a selfish little twit who doesn't give a crap about his best friend and only wanted to bowl and you are accepting of it as normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Dinner parties may be about the guests, but most parties have a single focus.

Weddings, birthdays, showers, bar mitzvahs, graduations...

I agree that the focus should not be the gifts, but there is nothing wrong with a party focused on a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd is 11 and her friends open gifts at parties. The girls are very involved in picking out the gifts for their friends and all enjoy seeing what was given. Same goes for our ds who is 9. We even opened gifts at my 6 yr old ds bowling party this year. The boys loved it and it only took 15 min. We make a point of taking a picture of the birthday kid and the gift giver after each gift is opened. This helps keep the other kids moving around and makes for a great Thank you note sent after the party.

We tend to have smaller parties with 10 or less guests which make this more manageable. Teaching kids to be gracious is important. So is teaching them that when they go to a party they are there to celebrate someone elses birthday and that child will be getting the gifts.

They don't love it. My son was at a bowling party and hated watching his best friend open gifts. Don't kid yourself.

.

No, your kid is just a selfish little twit who doesn't give a crap about his best friend and only wanted to bowl and you are accepting of it as normal behavior.

Pattern has evolved. Anyone who disagrees with you will cause you to insult her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha. Someone who obviously doesn't agree just posted like 6 posts in 6 minutes pretending to be a different person every time. Fail

Who said the person was acting like different posters? She was responding to different posters. Or maybe it is many posters? I think the point is well taken that you don't want to hear anything but that you're right. Even. Though. You. Are. Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Who hates watching someone open a present? How selfish is that. We moved here 3 years ago and that is the norm in my area in NJ so kids learn to give/receive. My kids love picking out presents and always ask their friends to open them even if they don't at the party. I feel like parents are over involved here in this area. Massive parties means a party every other weekend. They buy the gifts and kids show up with a wrapped box they didn't help buy or wrap so why would they care? I think that is where the embarrassing part lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't get me started on this. It is a REALLY big pet peeve of mine. Birthday parties are supposed to be about the birthday child but in this area it is about the kids coming to the party. People invite kids they aren't even close with, sometimes up to 20-30 people for kids as young as 5. Entertain them, give them tons of food and send them home with bags of goodies that cost at least $5 sometimes $10 of stuff. There is a focus on the child for 10 seconds to sing happy birthday and then off everyone leaves. You are hundreds of dollars out and half the time the birthday kid is overwhelmed.

I have house parties and while we do entertain and have fun things, I also make sure my children open every birthday present and thank their friends individually. It teaches kids watching patience, value of a gift making someone happy, and sense of self worth. It teaches the birthday child manners, appreciation, and friendship fulfillment. Many of these qualities are missing at these parties.

My rules for house parties. Child limit is no more than double their age. My 4yr old had 6 people for a Princess Tea Party this year, my 7yr old had 12 for his carnival themed party, and my 12yr old had 21 for her olympic games party. To her defense, she switched schools this past year and had about 10 close friends from each. I think my limit should be under 20 though

Once the number of kids get over 10, we do present games to keep everyone interested. Guess one thing besides your gift the child will get. Put it on a scrap of paper and if he opens it, you show me your slip and you get a little prize (2 hershey kisses.) The 7yr old boys LOVED that this year.

My older daughter did present BINGO. The board was 3x3 and it had options for gifts. Options were visa gift card, food item, store gift card, accessories, locker item, clothing, sport item, wrapping paper with red in it, gift bag. Each card was different. It was fun! I based it on years of gifts her friends tend to give her.

Anyway, the kids love it and they look forward to our house parties. My kids get very into planning and we do fun crazy games. Cost never goes above $100 except for the last one for my 12yr old.

We also do NOT do party bags. We burn CD's with the child's favorite 10-15 songs of the year. Cheap, fun and not a waste. Younger kids listen to them in the car, older kids burn them into their iPod.

7 year old boys "LOVED" guessing your kid's presents in exchange for nothing (if wrong) or 2 Hershey kisses if right? Um...replace "loved" with "tolerated".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't get me started on this. It is a REALLY big pet peeve of mine. Birthday parties are supposed to be about the birthday child but in this area it is about the kids coming to the party. People invite kids they aren't even close with, sometimes up to 20-30 people for kids as young as 5. Entertain them, give them tons of food and send them home with bags of goodies that cost at least $5 sometimes $10 of stuff. There is a focus on the child for 10 seconds to sing happy birthday and then off everyone leaves. You are hundreds of dollars out and half the time the birthday kid is overwhelmed.

I have house parties and while we do entertain and have fun things, I also make sure my children open every birthday present and thank their friends individually. It teaches kids watching patience, value of a gift making someone happy, and sense of self worth. It teaches the birthday child manners, appreciation, and friendship fulfillment. Many of these qualities are missing at these parties.

My rules for house parties. Child limit is no more than double their age. My 4yr old had 6 people for a Princess Tea Party this year, my 7yr old had 12 for his carnival themed party, and my 12yr old had 21 for her olympic games party. To her defense, she switched schools this past year and had about 10 close friends from each. I think my limit should be under 20 though

Once the number of kids get over 10, we do present games to keep everyone interested. Guess one thing besides your gift the child will get. Put it on a scrap of paper and if he opens it, you show me your slip and you get a little prize (2 hershey kisses.) The 7yr old boys LOVED that this year.

My older daughter did present BINGO. The board was 3x3 and it had options for gifts. Options were visa gift card, food item, store gift card, accessories, locker item, clothing, sport item, wrapping paper with red in it, gift bag. Each card was different. It was fun! I based it on years of gifts her friends tend to give her.

Anyway, the kids love it and they look forward to our house parties. My kids get very into planning and we do fun crazy games. Cost never goes above $100 except for the last one for my 12yr old.

We also do NOT do party bags. We burn CD's with the child's favorite 10-15 songs of the year. Cheap, fun and not a waste. Younger kids listen to them in the car, older kids burn them into their iPod.

7 year old boys "LOVED" guessing your kid's presents in exchange for nothing (if wrong) or 2 Hershey kisses if right? Um...replace "loved" with "tolerated".

My guess is the kids just like being right over their friends. I think there are some good ideas but people here just bash comments/ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who hates watching someone open a present? How selfish is that. We moved here 3 years ago and that is the norm in my area in NJ so kids learn to give/receive. My kids love picking out presents and always ask their friends to open them even if they don't at the party. I feel like parents are over involved here in this area. Massive parties means a party every other weekend. They buy the gifts and kids show up with a wrapped box they didn't help buy or wrap so why would they care? I think that is where the embarrassing part lies.

Parents do everything for their kids around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who hates watching someone open a present? How selfish is that. We moved here 3 years ago and that is the norm in my area in NJ so kids learn to give/receive. My kids love picking out presents and always ask their friends to open them even if they don't at the party. I feel like parents are over involved here in this area. Massive parties means a party every other weekend. They buy the gifts and kids show up with a wrapped box they didn't help buy or wrap so why would they care? I think that is where the embarrassing part lies.

A child who was unable to bring a present or who couldn't afford to spend much on one would hate watching the host open presents. I know I did as kid. Like the PP, we grew up in an area that was economically depressed. Parties were focused on having fun and eating cake - not at all like the greed-fests here. And, good bags? I'd never heard of them until I moved to this area. Attending the party was the 'goody'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who hates watching someone open a present? How selfish is that. We moved here 3 years ago and that is the norm in my area in NJ so kids learn to give/receive. My kids love picking out presents and always ask their friends to open them even if they don't at the party. I feel like parents are over involved here in this area. Massive parties means a party every other weekend. They buy the gifts and kids show up with a wrapped box they didn't help buy or wrap so why would they care? I think that is where the embarrassing part lies.

A child who was unable to bring a present or who couldn't afford to spend much on one would hate watching the host open presents. I know I did as kid. Like the PP, we grew up in an area that was economically depressed. Parties were focused on having fun and eating cake - not at all like the greed-fests here. And, good bags? I'd never heard of them until I moved to this area. Attending the party was the 'goody'.

One little girl walked up to me at the start of my DD's 6th birthday party and asked me what the goodie bag was going to be. I couldn't believe it. You should have seen her face when I didn't give any. Wasn't the party, the rental facility, the lunch and cake enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who hates watching someone open a present? How selfish is that. We moved here 3 years ago and that is the norm in my area in NJ so kids learn to give/receive. My kids love picking out presents and always ask their friends to open them even if they don't at the party. I feel like parents are over involved here in this area. Massive parties means a party every other weekend. They buy the gifts and kids show up with a wrapped box they didn't help buy or wrap so why would they care? I think that is where the embarrassing part lies.

A child who was unable to bring a present or who couldn't afford to spend much on one would hate watching the host open presents. I know I did as kid. Like the PP, we grew up in an area that was economically depressed. Parties were focused on having fun and eating cake - not at all like the greed-fests here. And, good bags? I'd never heard of them until I moved to this area. Attending the party was the 'goody'.

One little girl walked up to me at the start of my DD's 6th birthday party and asked me what the goodie bag was going to be. I couldn't believe it. You should have seen her face when I didn't give any. Wasn't the party, the rental facility, the lunch and cake enough?

No because in the DC Metro it is all who can beat who in birthdays. Bigger venue, most people, lavish goodie bags, most expensive entertainer, etc.... There are parties that I don't see the parents even interact with their own birthday child. Just talking about all the wonderful things they have done with the other hens. This area is self-absorbed. They want what they want. Instant gratification. That is why some people here think a simple party with some games and present opening is selfish. Because they aren't being entertained enough. They gave to stop and care for a few minutes and that is asking too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't get me started on this. It is a REALLY big pet peeve of mine. Birthday parties are supposed to be about the birthday child but in this area it is about the kids coming to the party. People invite kids they aren't even close with, sometimes up to 20-30 people for kids as young as 5. Entertain them, give them tons of food and send them home with bags of goodies that cost at least $5 sometimes $10 of stuff. There is a focus on the child for 10 seconds to sing happy birthday and then off everyone leaves. You are hundreds of dollars out and half the time the birthday kid is overwhelmed.

I have house parties and while we do entertain and have fun things, I also make sure my children open every birthday present and thank their friends individually. It teaches kids watching patience, value of a gift making someone happy, and sense of self worth. It teaches the birthday child manners, appreciation, and friendship fulfillment. Many of these qualities are missing at these parties.

My rules for house parties. Child limit is no more than double their age. My 4yr old had 6 people for a Princess Tea Party this year, my 7yr old had 12 for his carnival themed party, and my 12yr old had 21 for her olympic games party. To her defense, she switched schools this past year and had about 10 close friends from each. I think my limit should be under 20 though

Once the number of kids get over 10, we do present games to keep everyone interested. Guess one thing besides your gift the child will get. Put it on a scrap of paper and if he opens it, you show me your slip and you get a little prize (2 hershey kisses.) The 7yr old boys LOVED that this year.

My older daughter did present BINGO. The board was 3x3 and it had options for gifts. Options were visa gift card, food item, store gift card, accessories, locker item, clothing, sport item, wrapping paper with red in it, gift bag. Each card was different. It was fun! I based it on years of gifts her friends tend to give her.

Anyway, the kids love it and they look forward to our house parties. My kids get very into planning and we do fun crazy games. Cost never goes above $100 except for the last one for my 12yr old.

We also do NOT do party bags. We burn CD's with the child's favorite 10-15 songs of the year. Cheap, fun and not a waste. Younger kids listen to them in the car, older kids burn them into their iPod.

Do party bingo but not based on gifts. You don't want to hear it but it's true that my kids come home and COMPLAIN how they watched your kid open presents.

Your kid sounds like a douche in training.

They should be glad they were invited in the first place.

Secondly, they should realize the party is about the birthday kid--not them, and that as an INVITED GUEST in someone's home it is DESPAIRINGLY POOR manners to insult the way the host conducts their affairs.

So this is how harping adults are created? It begins in childhood with parents who do not correct their child's poor ettiquette and judgmental, self-absorbed behavior.

If your child doesn't want to watch children open gifts, keep him/her home from the party. They can run their own parties in the way they see fit when its their big day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dd is 11 and her friends open gifts at parties. The girls are very involved in picking out the gifts for their friends and all enjoy seeing what was given. Same goes for our ds who is 9. We even opened gifts at my 6 yr old ds bowling party this year. The boys loved it and it only took 15 min. We make a point of taking a picture of the birthday kid and the gift giver after each gift is opened. This helps keep the other kids moving around and makes for a great Thank you note sent after the party.

We tend to have smaller parties with 10 or less guests which make this more manageable. Teaching kids to be gracious is important. So is teaching them that when they go to a party they are there to celebrate someone elses birthday and that child will be getting the gifts.

They don't love it. My son was at a bowling party and hated watching his best friend open gifts. Don't kid yourself.

.

No, your kid is just a selfish little twit who doesn't give a crap about his best friend and only wanted to bowl and you are accepting of it as normal behavior.

Seems your response is in line with my (much harsher) response to the parent whose child goes home and complains about watching the birthday kid open gifts.

It's sad these parents are raising such self-absorbed little people. Now would be a great time to teach kids the parties are not about them. They can have their day when it's their birthday.

It's sad people are teaching their children to have such little regard for others. I would've been APPALLED if my son ever complained about watching kids open gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't get me started on this. It is a REALLY big pet peeve of mine. Birthday parties are supposed to be about the birthday child but in this area it is about the kids coming to the party. People invite kids they aren't even close with, sometimes up to 20-30 people for kids as young as 5. Entertain them, give them tons of food and send them home with bags of goodies that cost at least $5 sometimes $10 of stuff. There is a focus on the child for 10 seconds to sing happy birthday and then off everyone leaves. You are hundreds of dollars out and half the time the birthday kid is overwhelmed.

I have house parties and while we do entertain and have fun things, I also make sure my children open every birthday present and thank their friends individually. It teaches kids watching patience, value of a gift making someone happy, and sense of self worth. It teaches the birthday child manners, appreciation, and friendship fulfillment. Many of these qualities are missing at these parties.

My rules for house parties. Child limit is no more than double their age. My 4yr old had 6 people for a Princess Tea Party this year, my 7yr old had 12 for his carnival themed party, and my 12yr old had 21 for her olympic games party. To her defense, she switched schools this past year and had about 10 close friends from each. I think my limit should be under 20 though

Once the number of kids get over 10, we do present games to keep everyone interested. Guess one thing besides your gift the child will get. Put it on a scrap of paper and if he opens it, you show me your slip and you get a little prize (2 hershey kisses.) The 7yr old boys LOVED that this year.

My older daughter did present BINGO. The board was 3x3 and it had options for gifts. Options were visa gift card, food item, store gift card, accessories, locker item, clothing, sport item, wrapping paper with red in it, gift bag. Each card was different. It was fun! I based it on years of gifts her friends tend to give her.

Anyway, the kids love it and they look forward to our house parties. My kids get very into planning and we do fun crazy games. Cost never goes above $100 except for the last one for my 12yr old.

We also do NOT do party bags. We burn CD's with the child's favorite 10-15 songs of the year. Cheap, fun and not a waste. Younger kids listen to them in the car, older kids burn them into their iPod.

Do party bingo but not based on gifts. You don't want to hear it but it's true that my kids come home and COMPLAIN how they watched your kid open presents.

Your kid sounds like a douche in training.

They should be glad they were invited in the first place.

Secondly, they should realize the party is about the birthday kid--not them, and that as an INVITED GUEST in someone's home it is DESPAIRINGLY POOR manners to insult the way the host conducts their affairs.

So this is how harping adults are created? It begins in childhood with parents who do not correct their child's poor ettiquette and judgmental, self-absorbed behavior.

If your child doesn't want to watch children open gifts, keep him/her home from the party. They can run their own parties in the way they see fit when its their big day.

+1

A douche-in-training. LOL