To anyone who once had nothing and is now worth 7 or 8 figures:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, YOU HAVE RICH PARENTS??? And you grew up with help? Oh shoot, why didn't you say so?

Stop with the slumming, suck up to the rich 'rents, and have them pay your way. I mean, you have a kid, that's a trump card with the grands. Why are you moaning and groaning on any anonymous forum? I thought you were really poor with no safety net. I know people like you--you actually aren't really poor. You just think you are because you grew up with so much. I bet your apartment's really nice, actually. Unless you are completely estranged, I bet your parents do help you out as well. And you should take it. It's New Years--why aren't you hanging out with and entertaining your rich parents??? You would get better ROI doing that than surfing the 'nets and posting on DCUM, I guarantee it.

Sheesh.

Yes I could have an easy life living off of my parents but i did not want to and that is why I left home in college so I can make it on my own. Yes my parents did help me, especially when I was going through a divorce and did not have a job, they sent me money for a year to help with the expenses and I am forever grateful, but I also understand that they paid for my education so I could be an independent person, not live off of them for life. i am struggling but i am not homeless, i will try to make it on my own for as long as i can before i go and beg money to my parents. They worked for everything they had and expect me to do the same. I always tell them I don't need help, they send money to my child sometimes but that's about it.

Oh, for pete's sakes, shelve the pride. I'm sure you are doing great anyways. You are making ends meet, and if you go through a rough patch, your parents help out. That's your lot in life, and there's nothing wrong with it. Subconsciously, you are probably "only" making $70,000 because you don't want the $250,000 job! I mean, the hours suck! Why would you put yourself through such pain if you don't have to? And you don't have to. People from nothing who became wealthy...well, they came from "nothing." That's sort of key, you know.

Just take the damn money. And it's not your destiny to become independently wealthy, people from your background with your life choices rarely become wealthy. You can't sniff out sources for, and drains of, money, clearly. So just be comfortable and hope that your child will have the gene. You're like Mary Crawley of Downton, despite every aspiration, you are not going to be Countess of Grantham. It's going to skip you, okay? On the other hand, people with your kids' background often do hit it rich--history of wealth in the family, good education, but penny-pinching childhood. Try to light the fire in your kid's belly, because it's too late for you.

If i were offered the $250k job, you bet I will take it as long as i don't have to work more than 40-45h a week I am good. Also, you are not holding the keys to my destiny or my child's THANK GOD. You do not know whether I will become wealthy or not, I do not know either, I actually do not want to be wealthy, just comfortable. I want to be able to afford all of my needs and have money away for my wants, then I will be comfy !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My answers would be the same as the other posters. I think the difference with your situation is that you are digging out of a financial hole and you have a child to consider which ups the ante for things like roommates, schools, and space.

Starting from where you are, the two options are cut expenses and make more money, preferably both. I think you are headed in the right direction with seeking child support and moving to a more economical apartment. I hate to be blunt though to say that you have to do more and it will really suck. You aren't spending extravagantly by any stretch but you aren't compromising either. The ship has sailed already but you could have lived in a studio or 1 bedroom when your child was younger much easier than you can now. You could have looked into another in home daycare rather than a center. Both those things there could have been the difference of $500/month and then when you needed to move up to more space you could do it when the childcare expense would lessen.

So given where you are now, what can you do. The first is that you need to have a network. If you are truly on your own, you need to make sure you find time to join a single mom support group or move to an apartment/area with more of a community feeling ... something. Trust me I hate to depend on people for anything or ask for a favor but with kids you have to have that backup emergency contact should there be a crazy accident on the beltway etc. and like you I don't just trust my kids with someone I don't know. I joined a mom group years ago and it took time but a have a few good friends that I otherwise would not have. Also, does your ex have any visitation? I know financially he was a mess, but is there another reason why he isn't involved with raising his child? Besides building a relationship, this would give you a chance to maybe pickup extra income with a part-time job if there was a set schedule for visitation, give you a chance to build friendships with other moms, take a break, have someone to help with the pickup and different activities.

As for more income the only way this would happen is either if you can figure out child care that would allow you to work part-time ( could be a swap with someone else, ex has visitation, you find if there is an online course that you could teach/be a part of in finance etc.) or you find a higher paying job. Make sure you are finding time for your professional networks also. If you went to school is this area, make sure you keep up with the alumni circle if you can.

So far you may be asking what part of the plan sucks, well you have to do more and you have to depend on someone more (I.e. your ex or whomever helps with childcare) and you may be spending less time with your son or spending time with your son and other kids if you are in a babysitting co-OP/reciprocity situation. The other part is of course expenses. Your child may not be able to grow up with the same kids at the neighborhood school (this was always a particular dream of mine because my parents moved very five years), he may have a lack of space because you moved to a one bedroom apt (my mom grew up in a 2 bedroom apt with 4 kids in NY), he may start at a school that has mediocre test scores (I don't exaggerate when I tell you there were needles on the playground where I grew up partially prompting one of the moves). However, despite all of these things he can still succeed and go on to do well in life. If you are in Fairfax county, there are Gifted and talented centers and magnets that are open to you no matter what the school. You may need the time to work with your child with math and reading and either time/money to provide enrichment and will need to figure out how to get that done but that is one path. My grandmother never went to college but raised the 4 kids in a 2 bedroom and most of the kids got into magnet high schools. So anyway, living cost/school is the big area where you need to take a hard look before you move in April. I think the next two expense areas of food and phone were already addressed in previous posts.

Really wishing you the best of luck and I know it's not easy. One of the things I admire my mom is that she is she is the type of person that can take rice and make 10 different meals out of it if she had to. I realize money can be fleeting and if you don't have the internal fortitude to make those uncomfortable compromises and ingenuity to make something from not much you can end up in a very bad place in this world. I want my kids to strive for better and not fall apart at the first setback. You will be teaching these things to your child by example.

Thank you for this very elaborate and informative post. My goal is exactly that , cut expenses and earn more. As far as earning more, I recently started working in Banking and I need to stay put for at least 3 years so I can get the necessary experience and tenure to move up and can't switch jobs till then. I also started a work from home job that pays $15/h, I do it on weekends sometimes and at night but I have not been able to put in more than 10h/week ( they allow a max of 30h a week) because I am tired during the week and I also need to relax sometimes, take a break before I go banana.


As far as a network, I joined a few mommies group , but most of them were stayed at home moms so the activities were during the day when i had to work and we never clicked. I am truly alone ( my family is out of state). I have one very good friend and that's it. The good thing about my ex, is he was a horrible husband but is a good dad, so he takes our child every weekend or every other weekend at least, and he backs me up whenever I need it, i-e when she is sick, he will take days off to stay home with DC, ect, He is pretty much available almost every time I need a backup/childcare.

You must be proud of your mom and it shows that she raised an independent smart young woman, prompts to her. Unfortunately because of the way I was raised, i REALLY never learned to do anything on my own till i was 21 and lived alone, so I am useless when it comes to being handy, cooking from scratch, cleaning ect, My hope though is with the child support money kicking in hopefully soon, daycare costs dropping with child entering K, I should be in a better situation in a few months and then I can just concentrate on paying off the debt and having an emergency fund setup. Thank you so much !

[Anonymous]

PP here. One thing I want to add is think of what you would do if you could not go to your parents for money ...not an option. You have already learned that things cost more when you don't have money (I.e. couldn't fix the car when you were in an accident, had to file claims for every accident, credit card debt when you have to borrow money). If you add to not having the option to go to your parents for money you would be ruthless with your expenses finding the absolute lowest cost to cover "needs" and coming up with options that would allow you to earn more. I knew I had to depend on myself and I knew what paycheck or paycheck living looked like with my family. In some ways it made me more conservative with money (I.e shying away from some higher payoff but riskier job opportunities and investments) but it made me savvier in looking at next step for jobs and living below my means when I made more money.

[Anonymous]

Your salary isn't totally off the mark. DW has similar qualifications as you do, and works in a similar side of finance, and she makes just a few $k more than you do. Basically, certain parts of finance just don't pay as well as others.

Seems like your situation will be a lot better in the next year and next couple years. Your ex will start paying child support, and your child will be old enough to not need full-time daycare (i.e. at school).

I'd say focus on reducing expenses. I'm self-made, didn't come from a wealthy family and am now worth in the 7 figures and perhaps 8 figures (depending on how my business is valued)... yet if you see me at the Giant, I'm the one using coupons. I don't do any of that wacky extreme couponing, but just 10 minutes a week flipping through the Sunday coupons and cutting those for products we buy anyway (paper towels, etc). If I can do it, you can too. Just reading the weekly circulars to see when a product you buy is on sale, and then using the coupon you clipped 2 weeks ago for that product (often sales and coupon issuances don't coincide, on purpose), and you've saved yourself a bit of cash with fairly minimal effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your salary isn't totally off the mark. DW has similar qualifications as you do, and works in a similar side of finance, and she makes just a few $k more than you do. Basically, certain parts of finance just don't pay as well as others.

Seems like your situation will be a lot better in the next year and next couple years. Your ex will start paying child support, and your child will be old enough to not need full-time daycare (i.e. at school).

I'd say focus on reducing expenses. I'm self-made, didn't come from a wealthy family and am now worth in the 7 figures and perhaps 8 figures (depending on how my business is valued)... yet if you see me at the Giant, I'm the one using coupons. I don't do any of that wacky extreme couponing, but just 10 minutes a week flipping through the Sunday coupons and cutting those for products we buy anyway (paper towels, etc). If I can do it, you can too. Just reading the weekly circulars to see when a product you buy is on sale, and then using the coupon you clipped 2 weeks ago for that product (often sales and coupon issuances don't coincide, on purpose), and you've saved yourself a bit of cash with fairly minimal effort.

Thank you. I usually plan my meals around what is on sale, so i don't go to the store with a list of things that I want, I look at what is on sale and figure out how to plan my meals around it. I should coupon in more though, I rarely use coupons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

1. Yes! At age 25, my net worth was negative $25K but that was because I had grad school loans. I was confident I could become a millionaire if I worked hard.
2. Good and also scary. I've sacrificed so much time, with family, friends and leisure activities, that I'm afraid to lose it.
3. First million took 13 years; second million took 6 years; third million just under 4.
4. Work hard, live way below your means, invest in low cost index funds and do not trade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

1. Yes

2. Seven figure income, eight figure net worth. Kinda crazy actually. I totally recognize that we have a lot, but the crazy thing is realizing that extreme wealth ($100MM+) is actually a real possibility. The difference is that now we can afford almost anything, but not everything. Ironically as you gave more you tend to want less.

3. 11 years. I graduated at 24 and by 35 my balance sheet and income got insane.

4. Start a business. Have huge wAnts, but few needs. Read about spending big, but don't. Spend money on experiences not things. Invest a lot. Learn about real estate. No matter how wealthy you are people should think you are less Wealthy. Establish multiple bank relationships. No partners in your main business because no one should be as good as you. Partner with others on side businesses because your partners are better at it than you. Constantly take calculated risks. Keep perspective and remember it is just money. Maximize leverage for investments, but taper down what that leverage is as you age and as assets accumulate. Never do a deal you don't understand. Don't take financial advice from anyone less wealthy than you are. Learn the tax code. Pay your full share of taxes.

Dear PP, may I ask what field got you started? You don't have to go into detail, but just curious: real estate, food services, high finance, tech?

We are less than you, but similar trajectory. Completely agree with everything you posted, btw. We got our start in professional services but now of course we have our fingers in many pies but i do like real estate.

Got my start in insurance. But about half of my income ones from other sources.

Ah, insurance. I know people who made absolute gobs in insurance. Good for you, PP. Do you get lonely? I don't have any deep friends anymore...well, maybe one...mostly just arms-length acquaintances...one of my last good friends from the good ole days asked me point blank how much money I made, and that was the end of that...that was several years ago, and my social life hasn't been the same. The work hours and having kids don't help either with one's social life.

Actually yes I do get lonely. The problem is that there is no one i can actually relate to anymore. Even my spouse doesn't quite comprehend it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I had nothing!

Saved, learned and squeezed every bit of knowledge I could from college. Observed the world around me. Remembered what I observed and learned. Married well to a person about the same age with the same values. We really enjoy sex with each other. We love our chidren dearly. We live well but within our means. Having a loving family and wanting them more than anything else you don't need to chase materialism which is such an expensive compulsion. Absolutely never carry consumer debt. Buy a house or car on credit, but never lipstick which can't be paid in full at the end of the month when the credit card bills come due. Be a capitalist! Start by purchasing dividend paying stocks in companies and reinvest those dividends. Never hire someone else to manager your investments until you are a billionaire. Be kind to others and forgive yourself. Everyone has made mistakes and often times our mistakes were made when we had to make decisions when neither of our options was going to have a positive outcome.

Time span - 40 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

1. Yes

2. Seven figure income, eight figure net worth. Kinda crazy actually. I totally recognize that we have a lot, but the crazy thing is realizing that extreme wealth ($100MM+) is actually a real possibility. The difference is that now we can afford almost anything, but not everything. Ironically as you gave more you tend to want less.

3. 11 years. I graduated at 24 and by 35 my balance sheet and income got insane.

4. Start a business. Have huge wAnts, but few needs. Read about spending big, but don't. Spend money on experiences not things. Invest a lot. Learn about real estate. No matter how wealthy you are people should think you are less Wealthy. Establish multiple bank relationships. No partners in your main business because no one should be as good as you. Partner with others on side businesses because your partners are better at it than you. Constantly take calculated risks. Keep perspective and remember it is just money. Maximize leverage for investments, but taper down what that leverage is as you age and as assets accumulate. Never do a deal you don't understand. Don't take financial advice from anyone less wealthy than you are. Learn the tax code. Pay your full share of taxes.

Dear PP, may I ask what field got you started? You don't have to go into detail, but just curious: real estate, food services, high finance, tech?

We are less than you, but similar trajectory. Completely agree with everything you posted, btw. We got our start in professional services but now of course we have our fingers in many pies but i do like real estate.

Got my start in insurance. But about half of my income ones from other sources.

Ah, insurance. I know people who made absolute gobs in insurance. Good for you, PP. Do you get lonely? I don't have any deep friends anymore...well, maybe one...mostly just arms-length acquaintances...one of my last good friends from the good ole days asked me point blank how much money I made, and that was the end of that...that was several years ago, and my social life hasn't been the same. The work hours and having kids don't help either with one's social life.

Actually yes I do get lonely. The problem is that there is no one i can actually relate to anymore. Even my spouse doesn't quite comprehend it.

Well, I relate to you. You know what happens, right? You are surrounded by a lot of support, but you realize that you pay all of them in some way. Lawyers, assistants, employees...they all swarm around, and really, are nice and do make your life more bearable, and even become your friends, but...you pay them. The bottom line is that your experience is very rare. It's difficult to maintain with old friends, and we all know making friends after 25 is hard.

And any club that forms to collect rich people can be sullied by predators and hangers-on of various sorts infiltrating them.

Maybe I will make more friends when I stop working so much. Or maybe not. Who knows? This is uncharted territory for me, as it is for most everyone on this From-Nothing-to-Wealth thread.

Good luck to you and Happy New Year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

1. Yes

2. Seven figure income, eight figure net worth. Kinda crazy actually. I totally recognize that we have a lot, but the crazy thing is realizing that extreme wealth ($100MM+) is actually a real possibility. The difference is that now we can afford almost anything, but not everything. Ironically as you gave more you tend to want less.

3. 11 years. I graduated at 24 and by 35 my balance sheet and income got insane.

4. Start a business. Have huge wAnts, but few needs. Read about spending big, but don't. Spend money on experiences not things. Invest a lot. Learn about real estate. No matter how wealthy you are people should think you are less Wealthy. Establish multiple bank relationships. No partners in your main business because no one should be as good as you. Partner with others on side businesses because your partners are better at it than you. Constantly take calculated risks. Keep perspective and remember it is just money. Maximize leverage for investments, but taper down what that leverage is as you age and as assets accumulate. Never do a deal you don't understand. Don't take financial advice from anyone less wealthy than you are. Learn the tax code. Pay your full share of taxes.

Dear PP, may I ask what field got you started? You don't have to go into detail, but just curious: real estate, food services, high finance, tech?

We are less than you, but similar trajectory. Completely agree with everything you posted, btw. We got our start in professional services but now of course we have our fingers in many pies but i do like real estate.

Got my start in insurance. But about half of my income ones from other sources.

Ah, insurance. I know people who made absolute gobs in insurance. Good for you, PP. Do you get lonely? I don't have any deep friends anymore...well, maybe one...mostly just arms-length acquaintances...one of my last good friends from the good ole days asked me point blank how much money I made, and that was the end of that...that was several years ago, and my social life hasn't been the same. The work hours and having kids don't help either with one's social life.

Actually yes I do get lonely. The problem is that there is no one i can actually relate to anymore. Even my spouse doesn't quite comprehend it.

Well, I relate to you. You know what happens, right? You are surrounded by a lot of support, but you realize that you pay all of them in some way. Lawyers, assistants, employees...they all swarm around, and really, are nice and do make your life more bearable, and even become your friends, but...you pay them. The bottom line is that your experience is very rare. It's difficult to maintain with old friends, and we all know making friends after 25 is hard.

And any club that forms to collect rich people can be sullied by predators and hangers-on of various sorts infiltrating them.

Maybe I will make more friends when I stop working so much. Or maybe not. Who knows? This is uncharted territory for me, as it is for most everyone on this From-Nothing-to-Wealth thread.

Good luck to you and Happy New Year.

THIS sounds really sad

[Anonymous]

Wow I don't even know where to start. We will reach 7 figures in 1-2 years depending on the markets. I came from nothing and my DH came from a middle class family that saved. OP you are riculous. You have had all the breaks and managed to screw things up and are living in la-la land. Seven to eight figures? You need to focus on paying off debt and having an emergency fund. Like others said you are just comfortable enough to not make real changes and you have a huge safety net. I am a safety net for my family.

[Anonymous]

I think the difficulty is making relationships that are not a connection based on the money, right? So I would suggest finding a way to volunteer services.
And I am thinking of humble accessible things, like meals on wheels, visiting shut-ins, fixing up houses or shelters that need repair, serving up the food at shelters or at church or other type events.
It isn't instant friends, but it is participating and interacting with people not based around a payer/payee relationship, and you do benefit from it as well. You connect with people in a way that is good for everybody & maybe some new friends will come of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, YOU HAVE RICH PARENTS??? And you grew up with help? Oh shoot, why didn't you say so?

Stop with the slumming, suck up to the rich 'rents, and have them pay your way. I mean, you have a kid, that's a trump card with the grands. Why are you moaning and groaning on any anonymous forum? I thought you were really poor with no safety net. I know people like you--you actually aren't really poor. You just think you are because you grew up with so much. I bet your apartment's really nice, actually. Unless you are completely estranged, I bet your parents do help you out as well. And you should take it. It's New Years--why aren't you hanging out with and entertaining your rich parents??? You would get better ROI doing that than surfing the 'nets and posting on DCUM, I guarantee it.

Sheesh.

Yes I could have an easy life living off of my parents but i did not want to and that is why I left home in college so I can make it on my own. Yes my parents did help me, especially when I was going through a divorce and did not have a job, they sent me money for a year to help with the expenses and I am forever grateful, but I also understand that they paid for my education so I could be an independent person, not live off of them for life. i am struggling but i am not homeless, i will try to make it on my own for as long as i can before i go and beg money to my parents. They worked for everything they had and expect me to do the same. I always tell them I don't need help, they send money to my child sometimes but that's about it.

Oh, for pete's sakes, shelve the pride. I'm sure you are doing great anyways. You are making ends meet, and if you go through a rough patch, your parents help out. That's your lot in life, and there's nothing wrong with it. Subconsciously, you are probably "only" making $70,000 because you don't want the $250,000 job! I mean, the hours suck! Why would you put yourself through such pain if you don't have to? And you don't have to. People from nothing who became wealthy...well, they came from "nothing." That's sort of key, you know.

Just take the damn money. And it's not your destiny to become independently wealthy, people from your background with your life choices rarely become wealthy. You can't sniff out sources for, and drains of, money, clearly. So just be comfortable and hope that your child will have the gene. You're like Mary Crawley of Downton, despite every aspiration, you are not going to be Countess of Grantham. It's going to skip you, okay? On the other hand, people with your kids' background often do hit it rich--history of wealth in the family, good education, but penny-pinching childhood. Try to light the fire in your kid's belly, because it's too late for you.

+1

I knew the financial situation of my spouse before I got married. I also would be working those extra hours a week to make my life and my kid's life better. Grow up OP or run to your rich mommy and daddy. Stop making excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

Immigrant child. Grew up very poor (by U.S. standards). Did extremely well in school from an early age.

1. Never would have guessed I would stop living month to month. All I ever wanted when young was security in knowing that I would never starve. I joke to DH that I from 20 years ago wouldn't believe it if she saw me now.

2. It is stressful. Mo' money, mo' problems, as they say. You have more to lose. You are constantly worrying about your investments, monitoring various markets. The best, most carefree and happy years were when I was dating DH during grad school. No money, no furniture, one crappy car on its last legs between the two of us, no responsibilities, nothing to lose.

3. 13 years since graduating grad school. Started a couple of our own businesses. Nothing anyone wants to buy us out of, but at least we keep all the money.

4. Know when to recognize opportunities, and have the gumption to take smart risks even when everyone around you is not. This is harder than you think. It is hard to throw your money into an investment when everyone around you is howling that its a bad investment. It could be; it can also triple in five years, and you will be the only one to see that money. Money can be made if you are being contrarian. You either are born a hardass or become one in order to run successful businesses. Sweet, gentle, retiring people do not succeed in business. You should be honest, but definitely knowing when to brawl (including litigation) is key in preventing others from taking all you have.

I second the other posters: marrying well is key. I don't mean marrying money, although that is a shortcut to wealth, no doubt. I mean marrying a good person, who shares your values. Marrying a man who goes out and buys a Bentley with the first $250,000 you make does not bode well. Same for marrying a wife who spends money like water on home furnishings and handbags and god knows what as fast as you bring it in. Both DH and I are very frugal. Our standard of living is slowly climbing, but it definitely is several steps behind our true net worth. I bought a $2000 handbag five years ago because I was tired of my handbags getting beat up in 3 months because I am so hard on them, I am still using it and it is my daily handbag, great buy. It seemed an incredible splurge at the time. I still shop at Goodwill. I wear JC Penney, no designer clothes. My children wear secondhand. I drive a 10+ year old car. Our families have no idea how we're doing, the inconsistencies drive them crazy. We live modestly but give nice gifts (I love giving gifts).

Why do you want to be rich? Because you dream of all the nice things money can buy? You won't get rich then. You'll keep spending. If the idea of having lots of money sitting in a bank but wearing secondhand clothes eats at you, you will not be wealthy. I *like* watching money grow. I prefer it vastly to watching money get spent. I have no itch to spend it. I hate the Mall.

You need to get your psychological issues with money in order. There is no reason for your kids to be in second hand clothes. You have some major guilt issues. And what are you trying to buy with your expensive gifts? Listen, I know you won't believe a damn think I say but I had and have some similar issues. You really don't want your kids growing up with issues because mom made them wear Goodwill when that is not the norm and she looked dumpy even though she was rich. Your five year old purse is worn and needs a friend. You said it yourself you still worry.

[Anonymous]

Oh come on, I shop consignment for my kids, along with Target and some Nordstrom. Consignment is where their favorite items come from. Itis just stuff. If it is sturdy, attractive and gets used up, then good.