I understand you have a child, I have 2. When there is a will, there's a way. Nothing wrong with showing your children hard work pays off. |
So you had 2 children and 5 jobs, who was raising your kids? When were you seeing them? |
Oh, for pete's sakes. Don't kill the thread by turning it into a WOH/SAHM war. I guess it doesn't matter. All the rich people have fled the thread anyway. |
My husband and I were and are. We can coordinate schedules and you can work after they go to bed and before they get up. Does that surprise you? I called you out, got some support and now you're upset. I don't think you are wiling to make the necessary changes to get out of your financial hole. You get defensive and have a million excuses. Someone, whether a good friend or a stranger on this anonymous forum, needs to wake you up. It is the truth. You can't manage your money, you won't make the right choices, you feel justified in what you're doing, it is all your parents, your exs and the world's fault. I don't doubt you're a great mom and a good person. But you aren't genuine in your initial post. |
PP here. It's frustrating because people are telling you when you have nothing and you have no family money to fall on often times there is an element of sacrifice and planning to get to the payoff maybe 10 years away. Yes, this could mean you sacrifice time with your child in the early years. No you can't work 5 jobs but you could be working during the weekends your ex has the child. You could have your ex take one day or half a day on the off weekend. I don't think we are talking about the type of changes where your child wouldn't recognize you. We also aren't talking about forever- maybe 1-2 years. There will come a time when it would be disappointing to your child if you don't make the 1pm Friday Halloween parade, every soccer game on Saturday, when he/she is a tree in the school play, and you need to be there in the evenings to help with homework. However, you are not at that stage yet. My parents didn't have the type of money or the job flexibility for me to be involved in activities or for them to take off mid-day for class parties etc. I don't see money as the key to any sort of happiness but I recognize how not having money restricts my choices and what I can provide my children in terms of experiences and my time with them. It is also harder to take joy in the little things when you are so stressed about being behind in bills. It would have been worth the sacrifice the first few years of working more if that put me in a better position to have more time and money when they were in elementary. |
OP Back-Uhm no, I am not upset. You had a husband, okay? well that's why you can have 5 jobs and coordinate your schedules, I am a single mother, I don't have that luxury. Your situation is completely different from mine, so your point that you had 5 jobs and worked your butt off to make it doesn't apply. And once again, the topic of this thread was not about MY LIFE, it has deviated to my situation because someone asked on pAGE I. JUst forget about me & my situation, that's for another thread
|
OP back again- I totally agree that it takes a lot of sacrifice to get where you want to be in life, I never argued that. The key is to choose the sacrifices that are worth it to you. Having less time with my child right now is not an option for me, so I will sacrifice something else. I can work more hours while she is sleeping during the week, but I won't give up the 2 weekends we have a month. It could be your choice to do that, nothing wrong with that, it is not my choice! The issue is whenever you recommend something that I don't want to implement, you get mad saying " oh we told u to do x, y z and you don't wanna do anything, we can't help you". My purpose in opening this thread again was not to seek help for my present situation, it was to get inspiration on how and what other people did to get where they are. And I got 3 good things that I will implement in my current situation : downsize to a smaller place to pay less rent, manage groceries better and work more during the night at that work from home job. I will do those and I have said so a few posts ago, so I don't know why you get upset because I am just not going to radically change my life to apply everything that has been recommended. These are the 3 things I will do, I won't change everything, it is a start for me, and works for me! |
| To the OP, Im curious if you have had these conversations with your parents? You mentioned that they worked for everything they had and did really well in life? |
Yes, I do, but my parents never struggled, at least not the way I do.... |