To anyone who once had nothing and is now worth 7 or 8 figures:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

1. I didn't ever think that I'd have as much money as I have now (low 7 figures) and find it hard to believe still. It has been hard to get out of the mindset of e.g. eating as much as you can at a buffet because you don't know where the next meal is coming from or shopping at thrift stores.

2. I don't feel any different and we are generally careful with our money with only occasional splurges. Our income is about 90k, so very low by DCUM standards, but it doesn't feel low. We live below our means (when considering income only - everything else is in investments or real estate and not touched).

3. I moved to the US 15 years ago. I sold all my belongings and had about $2.5k when I arrived with a single suitcase of belongings. Five years later I had $10k in savings thanks to some bonuses from a job back then. Then I landed a short term but well paid consultancy gig and saved most of it. Then I bought a run down house in a bad neighborhood that ten years later (now) is a hot neighborhood and my investment has quadrupled in value and we have a very low mortgage. I also took money out of my 401k to buy the house, which I know many people advise against, but it worked for me. And finally, we received a significant inheritance a couple of years ago, which added a few more hundred thousands to our net worth.

4. Live below your means. Don't take on too much unproductive debt (e.g. huge mortgages on your primary residence). Take some risks with jobs. Also, when starting out, you get the best raises when you change jobs. My salary increased significantly in those first few years. (My current salary is much lower than it has been in the past.) When the market is down don't freak out, invest more. Always max retirement and tax-free investment options, particularly if you are just starting out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

Immigrant child. Grew up very poor (by U.S. standards). Did extremely well in school from an early age.

1. Never would have guessed I would stop living month to month. All I ever wanted when young was security in knowing that I would never starve. I joke to DH that I from 20 years ago wouldn't believe it if she saw me now.

2. It is stressful. Mo' money, mo' problems, as they say. You have more to lose. You are constantly worrying about your investments, monitoring various markets. The best, most carefree and happy years were when I was dating DH during grad school. No money, no furniture, one crappy car on its last legs between the two of us, no responsibilities, nothing to lose.

3. 13 years since graduating grad school. Started a couple of our own businesses. Nothing anyone wants to buy us out of, but at least we keep all the money.

4. Know when to recognize opportunities, and have the gumption to take smart risks even when everyone around you is not. This is harder than you think. It is hard to throw your money into an investment when everyone around you is howling that its a bad investment. It could be; it can also triple in five years, and you will be the only one to see that money. Money can be made if you are being contrarian. You either are born a hardass or become one in order to run successful businesses. Sweet, gentle, retiring people do not succeed in business. You should be honest, but definitely knowing when to brawl (including litigation) is key in preventing others from taking all you have.

I second the other posters: marrying well is key. I don't mean marrying money, although that is a shortcut to wealth, no doubt. I mean marrying a good person, who shares your values. Marrying a man who goes out and buys a Bentley with the first $250,000 you make does not bode well. Same for marrying a wife who spends money like water on home furnishings and handbags and god knows what as fast as you bring it in. Both DH and I are very frugal. Our standard of living is slowly climbing, but it definitely is several steps behind our true net worth. I bought a $2000 handbag five years ago because I was tired of my handbags getting beat up in 3 months because I am so hard on them, I am still using it and it is my daily handbag, great buy. It seemed an incredible splurge at the time. I still shop at Goodwill. I wear JC Penney, no designer clothes. My children wear secondhand. I drive a 10+ year old car. Our families have no idea how we're doing, the inconsistencies drive them crazy. We live modestly but give nice gifts (I love giving gifts).

Why do you want to be rich? Because you dream of all the nice things money can buy? You won't get rich then. You'll keep spending. If the idea of having lots of money sitting in a bank but wearing secondhand clothes eats at you, you will not be wealthy. I *like* watching money grow. I prefer it vastly to watching money get spent. I have no itch to spend it. I hate the Mall.

You need to get your psychological issues with money in order. There is no reason for your kids to be in second hand clothes. You have some major guilt issues. And what are you trying to buy with your expensive gifts? Listen, I know you won't believe a damn think I say but I had and have some similar issues. You really don't want your kids growing up with issues because mom made them wear Goodwill when that is not the norm and she looked dumpy even though she was rich. Your five year old purse is worn and needs a friend. You said it yourself you still worry.

Why? We all know stuff doesn't make us happy. Why should I get more clothes? It's not going to make me happy. Why do I need another expensive purse? The one I have is quite serviceable. You get the leather cleaned and treated every 5 years or so, or do at home with a $20 leather kit, and the thing is supposed to last for 30+ years. I just need some necessities for comfort.

I'm not trying to buy anything with my gifts. I gift nice gifts because...well, they are my family, and will be my family through thick and thin. So, there's nothing to buy anyways.

I don't think wearing secondhand clothes necessarily is traumatic. It's just clothes. I don't want my kids to have hangups on having new clothes. I want them to have hangups if they've been mean to someone, or hurt someone. But clothes new or old, who cares, as long as it's not hideous and keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter. I want them to understand the value of a dollar. I want to impart them with frugal values, and understand saving money and not spending like there's no tomorrow is a virtue. I don't burden them with false and concocted money worries, but I act very pleased when something's on sale. That is a good thing! My kids will learn not to touch hot stoves and principal. I am going to have them skip meals for Lent or maybe even that Jewish holiday where you starve for 24 hours (I'm not Jewish). Do it together as a family, and learn what hunger is like, and be thankful that you have food in the fridge. Not laugh, act disgusted or run away when you see a homeless person. Maybe you can't give money to every homeless person you see every time, but be able to put yourself in their shoes.

Learn to manage money because it's just another tool in life, like a hammer. But oh! what a powerful tool it is. It can prolong your life and keep families together. And not let it run you. And not let what it can buy run you.

I'm not trying to criticize you, but life is filled with people like you, screaming to buy! buy! buy! BUY WITH YOUR MONEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU??? You're weird, there's something wrong with you, SPEND YOUR MONEY, YOU CRAZY RICH PERSON! WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE EXPENSIVE HANDBAG? It doesn't make sense. I have what I need.

But managing money is a headache. But life is a headache in general so I'm not complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

Immigrant child. Grew up very poor (by U.S. standards). Did extremely well in school from an early age.

1. Never would have guessed I would stop living month to month. All I ever wanted when young was security in knowing that I would never starve. I joke to DH that I from 20 years ago wouldn't believe it if she saw me now.

2. It is stressful. Mo' money, mo' problems, as they say. You have more to lose. You are constantly worrying about your investments, monitoring various markets. The best, most carefree and happy years were when I was dating DH during grad school. No money, no furniture, one crappy car on its last legs between the two of us, no responsibilities, nothing to lose.

3. 13 years since graduating grad school. Started a couple of our own businesses. Nothing anyone wants to buy us out of, but at least we keep all the money.

4. Know when to recognize opportunities, and have the gumption to take smart risks even when everyone around you is not. This is harder than you think. It is hard to throw your money into an investment when everyone around you is howling that its a bad investment. It could be; it can also triple in five years, and you will be the only one to see that money. Money can be made if you are being contrarian. You either are born a hardass or become one in order to run successful businesses. Sweet, gentle, retiring people do not succeed in business. You should be honest, but definitely knowing when to brawl (including litigation) is key in preventing others from taking all you have.

I second the other posters: marrying well is key. I don't mean marrying money, although that is a shortcut to wealth, no doubt. I mean marrying a good person, who shares your values. Marrying a man who goes out and buys a Bentley with the first $250,000 you make does not bode well. Same for marrying a wife who spends money like water on home furnishings and handbags and god knows what as fast as you bring it in. Both DH and I are very frugal. Our standard of living is slowly climbing, but it definitely is several steps behind our true net worth. I bought a $2000 handbag five years ago because I was tired of my handbags getting beat up in 3 months because I am so hard on them, I am still using it and it is my daily handbag, great buy. It seemed an incredible splurge at the time. I still shop at Goodwill. I wear JC Penney, no designer clothes. My children wear secondhand. I drive a 10+ year old car. Our families have no idea how we're doing, the inconsistencies drive them crazy. We live modestly but give nice gifts (I love giving gifts).

Why do you want to be rich? Because you dream of all the nice things money can buy? You won't get rich then. You'll keep spending. If the idea of having lots of money sitting in a bank but wearing secondhand clothes eats at you, you will not be wealthy. I *like* watching money grow. I prefer it vastly to watching money get spent. I have no itch to spend it. I hate the Mall.

You need to get your psychological issues with money in order. There is no reason for your kids to be in second hand clothes. You have some major guilt issues. And what are you trying to buy with your expensive gifts? Listen, I know you won't believe a damn think I say but I had and have some similar issues. You really don't want your kids growing up with issues because mom made them wear Goodwill when that is not the norm and she looked dumpy even though she was rich. Your five year old purse is worn and needs a friend. You said it yourself you still worry.

Why? We all know stuff doesn't make us happy. Why should I get more clothes? It's not going to make me happy. Why do I need another expensive purse? The one I have is quite serviceable. You get the leather cleaned and treated every 5 years or so, or do at home with a $20 leather kit, and the thing is supposed to last for 30+ years. I just need some necessities for comfort.

I'm not trying to buy anything with my gifts. I gift nice gifts because...well, they are my family, and will be my family through thick and thin. So, there's nothing to buy anyways.

I don't think wearing secondhand clothes necessarily is traumatic. It's just clothes. I don't want my kids to have hangups on having new clothes. I want them to have hangups if they've been mean to someone, or hurt someone. But clothes new or old, who cares, as long as it's not hideous and keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter. I want them to understand the value of a dollar. I want to impart them with frugal values, and understand saving money and not spending like there's no tomorrow is a virtue. I don't burden them with false and concocted money worries, but I act very pleased when something's on sale. That is a good thing! My kids will learn not to touch hot stoves and principal. I am going to have them skip meals for Lent or maybe even that Jewish holiday where you starve for 24 hours (I'm not Jewish). Do it together as a family, and learn what hunger is like, and be thankful that you have food in the fridge. Not laugh, act disgusted or run away when you see a homeless person. Maybe you can't give money to every homeless person you see every time, but be able to put yourself in their shoes.

Learn to manage money because it's just another tool in life, like a hammer. But oh! what a powerful tool it is. It can prolong your life and keep families together. And not let it run you. And not let what it can buy run you.

I'm not trying to criticize you, but life is filled with people like you, screaming to buy! buy! buy! BUY WITH YOUR MONEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU??? You're weird, there's something wrong with you, SPEND YOUR MONEY, YOU CRAZY RICH PERSON! WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE EXPENSIVE HANDBAG? It doesn't make sense. I have what I need.

But managing money is a headache. But life is a headache in general so I'm not complaining.

+1000 Amen, sista!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

Immigrant child. Grew up very poor (by U.S. standards). Did extremely well in school from an early age.

1. Never would have guessed I would stop living month to month. All I ever wanted when young was security in knowing that I would never starve. I joke to DH that I from 20 years ago wouldn't believe it if she saw me now.

2. It is stressful. Mo' money, mo' problems, as they say. You have more to lose. You are constantly worrying about your investments, monitoring various markets. The best, most carefree and happy years were when I was dating DH during grad school. No money, no furniture, one crappy car on its last legs between the two of us, no responsibilities, nothing to lose.

3. 13 years since graduating grad school. Started a couple of our own businesses. Nothing anyone wants to buy us out of, but at least we keep all the money.

4. Know when to recognize opportunities, and have the gumption to take smart risks even when everyone around you is not. This is harder than you think. It is hard to throw your money into an investment when everyone around you is howling that its a bad investment. It could be; it can also triple in five years, and you will be the only one to see that money. Money can be made if you are being contrarian. You either are born a hardass or become one in order to run successful businesses. Sweet, gentle, retiring people do not succeed in business. You should be honest, but definitely knowing when to brawl (including litigation) is key in preventing others from taking all you have.

I second the other posters: marrying well is key. I don't mean marrying money, although that is a shortcut to wealth, no doubt. I mean marrying a good person, who shares your values. Marrying a man who goes out and buys a Bentley with the first $250,000 you make does not bode well. Same for marrying a wife who spends money like water on home furnishings and handbags and god knows what as fast as you bring it in. Both DH and I are very frugal. Our standard of living is slowly climbing, but it definitely is several steps behind our true net worth. I bought a $2000 handbag five years ago because I was tired of my handbags getting beat up in 3 months because I am so hard on them, I am still using it and it is my daily handbag, great buy. It seemed an incredible splurge at the time. I still shop at Goodwill. I wear JC Penney, no designer clothes. My children wear secondhand. I drive a 10+ year old car. Our families have no idea how we're doing, the inconsistencies drive them crazy. We live modestly but give nice gifts (I love giving gifts).

Why do you want to be rich? Because you dream of all the nice things money can buy? You won't get rich then. You'll keep spending. If the idea of having lots of money sitting in a bank but wearing secondhand clothes eats at you, you will not be wealthy. I *like* watching money grow. I prefer it vastly to watching money get spent. I have no itch to spend it. I hate the Mall.

You need to get your psychological issues with money in order. There is no reason for your kids to be in second hand clothes. You have some major guilt issues. And what are you trying to buy with your expensive gifts? Listen, I know you won't believe a damn think I say but I had and have some similar issues. You really don't want your kids growing up with issues because mom made them wear Goodwill when that is not the norm and she looked dumpy even though she was rich. Your five year old purse is worn and needs a friend. You said it yourself you still worry.

Why? We all know stuff doesn't make us happy. Why should I get more clothes? It's not going to make me happy. Why do I need another expensive purse? The one I have is quite serviceable. You get the leather cleaned and treated every 5 years or so, or do at home with a $20 leather kit, and the thing is supposed to last for 30+ years. I just need some necessities for comfort.

I'm not trying to buy anything with my gifts. I gift nice gifts because...well, they are my family, and will be my family through thick and thin. So, there's nothing to buy anyways.

I don't think wearing secondhand clothes necessarily is traumatic. It's just clothes. I don't want my kids to have hangups on having new clothes. I want them to have hangups if they've been mean to someone, or hurt someone. But clothes new or old, who cares, as long as it's not hideous and keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter. I want them to understand the value of a dollar. I want to impart them with frugal values, and understand saving money and not spending like there's no tomorrow is a virtue. I don't burden them with false and concocted money worries, but I act very pleased when something's on sale. That is a good thing! My kids will learn not to touch hot stoves and principal. I am going to have them skip meals for Lent or maybe even that Jewish holiday where you starve for 24 hours (I'm not Jewish). Do it together as a family, and learn what hunger is like, and be thankful that you have food in the fridge. Not laugh, act disgusted or run away when you see a homeless person. Maybe you can't give money to every homeless person you see every time, but be able to put yourself in their shoes.

Learn to manage money because it's just another tool in life, like a hammer. But oh! what a powerful tool it is. It can prolong your life and keep families together. And not let it run you. And not let what it can buy run you.

I'm not trying to criticize you, but life is filled with people like you, screaming to buy! buy! buy! BUY WITH YOUR MONEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU??? You're weird, there's something wrong with you, SPEND YOUR MONEY, YOU CRAZY RICH PERSON! WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE EXPENSIVE HANDBAG? It doesn't make sense. I have what I need.

But managing money is a headache. But life is a headache in general so I'm not complaining.

+1000 Amen, sista!

Agree! 'Stuff' is a burden anyway.

[Anonymous]

Stuff may be a burden but you shop for your kids at Goodwill. Sorry that is lame. I'm not saying go crazy with money, I'm saying have some freaking balance in your life which you clearly lack. And one purse worn for 5 years looks worn - I don't care what you say.

[Anonymous]

Why don't people in DC have some balance in their lives? Just be reasonable. Are you trying to win some award for being frugal. I really doubt people like you are giving big amounts each year in charity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stuff may be a burden but you shop for your kids at Goodwill. Sorry that is lame. I'm not saying go crazy with money, I'm saying have some freaking balance in your life which you clearly lack. And one purse worn for 5 years looks worn - I don't care what you say.

++++100000000000000000

You work hard to get the money and you can't even enjoy it??? You live off of goodwill AND You're gonna die and leave the money here??? You do know, you can't take it with you right? What is the freaking point of working hard if u can't enjoy the money? So saddddd

[Anonymous]

to me, it's way out of line to shop at goodwill if the purpose is to become rich. what are you guys trying to save money for? for the numbers kn your bank account? i hope not.
also, it's not going to save you much anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stuff may be a burden but you shop for your kids at Goodwill. Sorry that is lame. I'm not saying go crazy with money, I'm saying have some freaking balance in your life which you clearly lack. And one purse worn for 5 years looks worn - I don't care what you say.

Ummm...have you actually owned one of those very expensive purses? Not the ugly cloth logo covered stuff at Macy's, but the purses that cross the line into genuine quality? $2,000 is on the low-end of that group. They actually DO last a very long time, though.

Not all leather is the same. There is genuine pebbled deerskin, for example, which is very tough, and mid-grade leather pebbled to look so, which is not. You cannot tell upon purchase, but you certainly can in 5 years.

Do you actually KNOW how long alligator leather lasts? Think of the animal, and take a wild guess. It's quite longer than 5 years, my friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stuff may be a burden but you shop for your kids at Goodwill. Sorry that is lame. I'm not saying go crazy with money, I'm saying have some freaking balance in your life which you clearly lack. And one purse worn for 5 years looks worn - I don't care what you say.

Ummm...have you actually owned one of those very expensive purses? Not the ugly cloth logo covered stuff at Macy's, but the purses that cross the line into genuine quality? $2,000 is on the low-end of that group. They actually DO last a very long time, though.

Not all leather is the same. There is genuine pebbled deerskin, for example, which is very tough, and mid-grade leather pebbled to look so, which is not. You cannot tell upon purchase, but you certainly can in 5 years.

Do you actually KNOW how long alligator leather lasts? Think of the animal, and take a wild guess. It's quite longer than 5 years, my friend.

To follow up, ostrich and croc goods, if taken properly care of, can be handed down to your heirs. They can seriously last many many decades if you take some care, even with regular use.

You show ignorance with your comment, PP.

[Anonymous]

^^ Except that so many people who can afford purses like that wouldn't be caught DEAD using them after a couple years. "Oh that thing? It's so out of style now, everyone knows it's old. I need a NEW one!"

Spend some time clearing out the house of a dead parent or grandparent. It'll change your tune pretty quickly on the value of your stuff.

And believe me, I'm no saver. But I'd rather spend my money on traveling, or good food, or splurging on something a friend or loved one needs. Stuff just takes up room and makes you want to buy a bigger house which you then fill up with more stuff that then someone else will eventually have to go through and give away or sell for pennies on the dollar, because it means nothing to them. It's such a waste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

Immigrant child. Grew up very poor (by U.S. standards). Did extremely well in school from an early age.

1. Never would have guessed I would stop living month to month. All I ever wanted when young was security in knowing that I would never starve. I joke to DH that I from 20 years ago wouldn't believe it if she saw me now.

2. It is stressful. Mo' money, mo' problems, as they say. You have more to lose. You are constantly worrying about your investments, monitoring various markets. The best, most carefree and happy years were when I was dating DH during grad school. No money, no furniture, one crappy car on its last legs between the two of us, no responsibilities, nothing to lose.

3. 13 years since graduating grad school. Started a couple of our own businesses. Nothing anyone wants to buy us out of, but at least we keep all the money.

4. Know when to recognize opportunities, and have the gumption to take smart risks even when everyone around you is not. This is harder than you think. It is hard to throw your money into an investment when everyone around you is howling that its a bad investment. It could be; it can also triple in five years, and you will be the only one to see that money. Money can be made if you are being contrarian. You either are born a hardass or become one in order to run successful businesses. Sweet, gentle, retiring people do not succeed in business. You should be honest, but definitely knowing when to brawl (including litigation) is key in preventing others from taking all you have.

I second the other posters: marrying well is key. I don't mean marrying money, although that is a shortcut to wealth, no doubt. I mean marrying a good person, who shares your values. Marrying a man who goes out and buys a Bentley with the first $250,000 you make does not bode well. Same for marrying a wife who spends money like water on home furnishings and handbags and god knows what as fast as you bring it in. Both DH and I are very frugal. Our standard of living is slowly climbing, but it definitely is several steps behind our true net worth. I bought a $2000 handbag five years ago because I was tired of my handbags getting beat up in 3 months because I am so hard on them, I am still using it and it is my daily handbag, great buy. It seemed an incredible splurge at the time. I still shop at Goodwill. I wear JC Penney, no designer clothes. My children wear secondhand. I drive a 10+ year old car. Our families have no idea how we're doing, the inconsistencies drive them crazy. We live modestly but give nice gifts (I love giving gifts).

Why do you want to be rich? Because you dream of all the nice things money can buy? You won't get rich then. You'll keep spending. If the idea of having lots of money sitting in a bank but wearing secondhand clothes eats at you, you will not be wealthy. I *like* watching money grow. I prefer it vastly to watching money get spent. I have no itch to spend it. I hate the Mall.

You need to get your psychological issues with money in order. There is no reason for your kids to be in second hand clothes. You have some major guilt issues. And what are you trying to buy with your expensive gifts? Listen, I know you won't believe a damn think I say but I had and have some similar issues. You really don't want your kids growing up with issues because mom made them wear Goodwill when that is not the norm and she looked dumpy even though she was rich. Your five year old purse is worn and needs a friend. You said it yourself you still worry.

Why? We all know stuff doesn't make us happy. Why should I get more clothes? It's not going to make me happy. Why do I need another expensive purse? The one I have is quite serviceable. You get the leather cleaned and treated every 5 years or so, or do at home with a $20 leather kit, and the thing is supposed to last for 30+ years. I just need some necessities for comfort.

I'm not trying to buy anything with my gifts. I gift nice gifts because...well, they are my family, and will be my family through thick and thin. So, there's nothing to buy anyways.

I don't think wearing secondhand clothes necessarily is traumatic. It's just clothes. I don't want my kids to have hangups on having new clothes. I want them to have hangups if they've been mean to someone, or hurt someone. But clothes new or old, who cares, as long as it's not hideous and keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter. I want them to understand the value of a dollar. I want to impart them with frugal values, and understand saving money and not spending like there's no tomorrow is a virtue. I don't burden them with false and concocted money worries, but I act very pleased when something's on sale. That is a good thing! My kids will learn not to touch hot stoves and principal. I am going to have them skip meals for Lent or maybe even that Jewish holiday where you starve for 24 hours (I'm not Jewish). Do it together as a family, and learn what hunger is like, and be thankful that you have food in the fridge. Not laugh, act disgusted or run away when you see a homeless person. Maybe you can't give money to every homeless person you see every time, but be able to put yourself in their shoes.

Learn to manage money because it's just another tool in life, like a hammer. But oh! what a powerful tool it is. It can prolong your life and keep families together. And not let it run you. And not let what it can buy run you.

I'm not trying to criticize you, but life is filled with people like you, screaming to buy! buy! buy! BUY WITH YOUR MONEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU??? You're weird, there's something wrong with you, SPEND YOUR MONEY, YOU CRAZY RICH PERSON! WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE EXPENSIVE HANDBAG? It doesn't make sense. I have what I need.

But managing money is a headache. But life is a headache in general so I'm not complaining.

+1000 Amen, sista!

Agree! 'Stuff' is a burden anyway.

There is a regular news story of a lunch lady who, unbeknownst to all who knew her, died rich and leaves it all to a cat or a charity or some such. Yeh, that's PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, YOU HAVE RICH PARENTS??? And you grew up with help? Oh shoot, why didn't you say so?

Stop with the slumming, suck up to the rich 'rents, and have them pay your way. I mean, you have a kid, that's a trump card with the grands. Why are you moaning and groaning on any anonymous forum? I thought you were really poor with no safety net. I know people like you--you actually aren't really poor. You just think you are because you grew up with so much. I bet your apartment's really nice, actually. Unless you are completely estranged, I bet your parents do help you out as well. And you should take it. It's New Years--why aren't you hanging out with and entertaining your rich parents??? You would get better ROI doing that than surfing the 'nets and posting on DCUM, I guarantee it.

Sheesh.

Yes I could have an easy life living off of my parents but i did not want to and that is why I left home in college so I can make it on my own. Yes my parents did help me, especially when I was going through a divorce and did not have a job, they sent me money for a year to help with the expenses and I am forever grateful, but I also understand that they paid for my education so I could be an independent person, not live off of them for life. i am struggling but i am not homeless, i will try to make it on my own for as long as i can before i go and beg money to my parents. They worked for everything they had and expect me to do the same. I always tell them I don't need help, they send money to my child sometimes but that's about it.

Oh, for pete's sakes, shelve the pride. I'm sure you are doing great anyways. You are making ends meet, and if you go through a rough patch, your parents help out. That's your lot in life, and there's nothing wrong with it. Subconsciously, you are probably "only" making $70,000 because you don't want the $250,000 job! I mean, the hours suck! Why would you put yourself through such pain if you don't have to? And you don't have to. People from nothing who became wealthy...well, they came from "nothing." That's sort of key, you know.

Just take the damn money. And it's not your destiny to become independently wealthy, people from your background with your life choices rarely become wealthy. You can't sniff out sources for, and drains of, money, clearly. So just be comfortable and hope that your child will have the gene. You're like Mary Crawley of Downton, despite every aspiration, you are not going to be Countess of Grantham. It's going to skip you, okay? On the other hand, people with your kids' background often do hit it rich--history of wealth in the family, good education, but penny-pinching childhood. Try to light the fire in your kid's belly, because it's too late for you.

If i were offered the $250k job, you bet I will take it as long as i don't have to work more than 40-45h a week I am good. Also, you are not holding the keys to my destiny or my child's THANK GOD. You do not know whether I will become wealthy or not, I do not know either, I actually do not want to be wealthy, just comfortable. I want to be able to afford all of my needs and have money away for my wants, then I will be comfy !

OP, I think with this last comment you just hinted at part of the problem -- why you're not making much in salary. You say you'd take a $250k job if you didn't have to work more than 40 or 45 hours a week. Those jobs barely exist!! How much are you working now? If you're only making $35k at your job -- you wrote that you made $70k but half came from other sources -- and you're a 30-year-old working in Finance in Tyson's...something isn't adding up. How is your work performance? What are your reviews like? Are you a 9 to 5er? If so, you might want to get a stable government job with good benefits or move someplace close, but cheaper, like Baltimore or Richmond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, YOU HAVE RICH PARENTS??? And you grew up with help? Oh shoot, why didn't you say so?

Stop with the slumming, suck up to the rich 'rents, and have them pay your way. I mean, you have a kid, that's a trump card with the grands. Why are you moaning and groaning on any anonymous forum? I thought you were really poor with no safety net. I know people like you--you actually aren't really poor. You just think you are because you grew up with so much. I bet your apartment's really nice, actually. Unless you are completely estranged, I bet your parents do help you out as well. And you should take it. It's New Years--why aren't you hanging out with and entertaining your rich parents??? You would get better ROI doing that than surfing the 'nets and posting on DCUM, I guarantee it.

Sheesh.

Yes I could have an easy life living off of my parents but i did not want to and that is why I left home in college so I can make it on my own. Yes my parents did help me, especially when I was going through a divorce and did not have a job, they sent me money for a year to help with the expenses and I am forever grateful, but I also understand that they paid for my education so I could be an independent person, not live off of them for life. i am struggling but i am not homeless, i will try to make it on my own for as long as i can before i go and beg money to my parents. They worked for everything they had and expect me to do the same. I always tell them I don't need help, they send money to my child sometimes but that's about it.

Oh, for pete's sakes, shelve the pride. I'm sure you are doing great anyways. You are making ends meet, and if you go through a rough patch, your parents help out. That's your lot in life, and there's nothing wrong with it. Subconsciously, you are probably "only" making $70,000 because you don't want the $250,000 job! I mean, the hours suck! Why would you put yourself through such pain if you don't have to? And you don't have to. People from nothing who became wealthy...well, they came from "nothing." That's sort of key, you know.

Just take the damn money. And it's not your destiny to become independently wealthy, people from your background with your life choices rarely become wealthy. You can't sniff out sources for, and drains of, money, clearly. So just be comfortable and hope that your child will have the gene. You're like Mary Crawley of Downton, despite every aspiration, you are not going to be Countess of Grantham. It's going to skip you, okay? On the other hand, people with your kids' background often do hit it rich--history of wealth in the family, good education, but penny-pinching childhood. Try to light the fire in your kid's belly, because it's too late for you.

If i were offered the $250k job, you bet I will take it as long as i don't have to work more than 40-45h a week I am good. Also, you are not holding the keys to my destiny or my child's THANK GOD. You do not know whether I will become wealthy or not, I do not know either, I actually do not want to be wealthy, just comfortable. I want to be able to afford all of my needs and have money away for my wants, then I will be comfy !

OP, I think with this last comment you just hinted at part of the problem -- why you're not making much in salary. You say you'd take a $250k job if you didn't have to work more than 40 or 45 hours a week. Those jobs barely exist!! How much are you working now? If you're only making $35k at your job -- you wrote that you made $70k but half came from other sources -- and you're a 30-year-old working in Finance in Tyson's...something isn't adding up. How is your work performance? What are your reviews like? Are you a 9 to 5er? If so, you might want to get a stable government job with good benefits or move someplace close, but cheaper, like Baltimore or Richmond.

OP Here- No, i did not say that $70k is my salary from my full time job. I don't count my part-time income that I do from my work-from home job because that is very sporadic i-e i only do about 10h a week usually at my part-time gig so that is not a lot of money ( they pay $15/h). I also get an annual bonus that can be anywhere from 10-20%. I work from 8-5. My work performance is amazing, I am actually a top performer & get top reviews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I've read all your posts and here are my thoughts.

I am not super familiar with this, but am aware that FFX has set aside 'workforce' housing/apartment units intended to assist people just like you - middle income, working, maybe single parent. Am sure the county website has pages and contact numbers for more information.
And as you know before/after care at SAC is on a sliding scale, and some daycare centers have special set asides for single moms - if you have not previously inquired, make sure to ask.
The child support should be a big help for getting on a more secure footing. I'd put it to the daycare while paying down the credit cards. Then move on to paying off the car asap. Then I would keep aggressively saving to build up a serious emergency fund - maybe 6 months expenses because you don't have a fall back right now as a single working mom. Put your raises and bonuses and any money saved from frugality to debt payoff and then emergency fund buildup.

Also, I'd start reading the good personal finance writers, from the library. David Ramsey on debt payoff. David Bach on how to save automatically to overcome your own worst instincts, Eric Tyson on how to invest most effectively and avoid getting ripped off.

You are going to make this happen OP and will be amazed in 5 years and in a totally different place in 10 years.

You will be surprised. I already checked those and i do not qualify for any housing from the county. I don't make enough money but i make enough to be out of the threshold. Last time I checked the maximum income to qualify for a 2 people household was $68,800. I make $70,000 my luck! I actually considered bribing my employer to decrease my salary to $68,000 so I oculd qualify I have not heard of daycares offering rates for single parents either. Where are those? Yeh I can't wait for the child support to kick in, per the papers, it is supposed to be $1k/month so that will be a huge help when I start getting it.

This is pp. OP, I may have been misled by some posts that weren't yours. Did you say you make $70 k salary but then also post that you got your start in insurance, but 1/2 of your income comes from other sources, or was that another poster responding? Sorry I thonk i misunderstood and thought you were making $35k salary, $35k other sources.