To anyone who once had nothing and is now worth 7 or 8 figures:

[Anonymous]

5) Choose a good partner and stay with them. Divorce is horribly expensive.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are children of Asian immigrants. My parents owned a dry cleaners. We studied hard, went to top schools and now earn $500k+. DH works harder and he seems to continue to earn more. We live a more modest lifestyle because we support our eldery parents who have no retirement savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here- Thanks to the people who responded. I am looking for Inspiration and motivation. I am 30, divorced, has a child and make $70k/year, I feel like i will never make it because I live paycheck to paycheck, my expenses are high because this is a HIGH COL area. I barely save for retirement has less than $10k in retirement, $6k in cc debt ( i was short on daycare so had to pay for it on my cc ) $5k left on the car loan ( car totaled, did not have any savings so had to borrow to get a car) 0 savings. I feel like Iam in a vicious circle and this will never end and I will never make it out, save for my child's college or buy a house. Funny thing, i come from a well-off family, went to private schools all my life, then college and grad school all paid off by my parents and I still can't make it grrrrr

There's a consistent thread in all of this advice, OP. Pretty much everyone on here has expressed support (in one way or another) for living below your means. You are not doing that. No one spends their way out of a bad financial situation. You must sacrifice your way out. Can you make some changes to make that happen? Can you, for example, move in with your parents? Or, perhaps you could move in with another single mom and share child-care duties? You have a hard choice before you, OP: sacrifice QOL or sacrifice financial security. It really is that simple.

Before you freak out at the thought of that sacrifice though, I can say that it's really not so bad. My BFF lived for five years with two incontinent cats in one room at her dad's house when she needed to get herself together after her ex left her with $40k in cc debt. She hated it a lot of the time, but she left with no debt, a small nest egg, and a better relationship with her dad than she'd ever had. Some of my closest friends now are people I roomed with when we were broke. We had a blast! If you look at it as an adventure and an opportunity, instead of as *only* a sacrifice, you could find that living below your means is actually... fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here- Thanks to the people who responded. I am looking for Inspiration and motivation. I am 30, divorced, has a child and make $70k/year, I feel like i will never make it because I live paycheck to paycheck, my expenses are high because this is a HIGH COL area. I barely save for retirement has less than $10k in retirement, $6k in cc debt ( i was short on daycare so had to pay for it on my cc ) $5k left on the car loan ( car totaled, did not have any savings so had to borrow to get a car) 0 savings. I feel like Iam in a vicious circle and this will never end and I will never make it out, save for my child's college or buy a house. Funny thing, i come from a well-off family, went to private schools all my life, then college and grad school all paid off by my parents and I still can't make it grrrrr

There's a consistent thread in all of this advice, OP. Pretty much everyone on here has expressed support (in one way or another) for living below your means. You are not doing that. No one spends their way out of a bad financial situation. You must sacrifice your way out. Can you make some changes to make that happen? Can you, for example, move in with your parents? Or, perhaps you could move in with another single mom and share child-care duties? You have a hard choice before you, OP: sacrifice QOL or sacrifice financial security. It really is that simple.

Before you freak out at the thought of that sacrifice though, I can say that it's really not so bad. My BFF lived for five years with two incontinent cats in one room at her dad's house when she needed to get herself together after her ex left her with $40k in cc debt. She hated it a lot of the time, but she left with no debt, a small nest egg, and a better relationship with her dad than she'd ever had. Some of my closest friends now are people I roomed with when we were broke. We had a blast! If you look at it as an adventure and an opportunity, instead of as *only* a sacrifice, you could find that living below your means is actually... fun.

Thank you for the advice, I really don't think i overspend. Everything that I pay for is a NEED, not a Want. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment, rent is $1500, utilities:200-250/month (no cable). Phone:$50, Daycare:1300, CAR ins:130, car note:300, Gas:200, food:500, CC:300 (Trying to pay them off). I don't get child support, I don't have family around so can't move in somewhere to save money, ex-husband will not allow me to move out of state, so I am pretty much stuck in this area. i can not decrease any of these expenses because they are all necessary. I can not live any further out , I already live far enough and only have a 1 bedroom, really I just don't make enough money but I am not a spender, I rarely buy things for myself, spent 0$$ for xmas. I will not be able to get out of this, unless i earn more

[Anonymous]

OP Again-Also, you can tell me "oh don't use credit cards, pay it off" ect but as you can see with my monthly expenses there is nothing left, so I can not save anything. I have to use the credit cards when there is an emergency. Like when my car broke down a fw months ago I had to pay $1200, did not have the cash, had to put it in CC. I can not not have a car ( can't go to work without a car). Daughter goes to ER, can't say i won't pay. So these are the things that always happen, month after month that make it hard to get out of the hole. Whenever i am close to paying off a credit card, life happens and there is an emergency that needs to be taken care of

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here- Thanks to the people who responded. I am looking for Inspiration and motivation. I am 30, divorced, has a child and make $70k/year, I feel like i will never make it because I live paycheck to paycheck, my expenses are high because this is a HIGH COL area. I barely save for retirement has less than $10k in retirement, $6k in cc debt ( i was short on daycare so had to pay for it on my cc ) $5k left on the car loan ( car totaled, did not have any savings so had to borrow to get a car) 0 savings. I feel like Iam in a vicious circle and this will never end and I will never make it out, save for my child's college or buy a house. Funny thing, i come from a well-off family, went to private schools all my life, then college and grad school all paid off by my parents and I still can't make it grrrrr

There's a consistent thread in all of this advice, OP. Pretty much everyone on here has expressed support (in one way or another) for living below your means. You are not doing that. No one spends their way out of a bad financial situation. You must sacrifice your way out. Can you make some changes to make that happen? Can you, for example, move in with your parents? Or, perhaps you could move in with another single mom and share child-care duties? You have a hard choice before you, OP: sacrifice QOL or sacrifice financial security. It really is that simple.

Before you freak out at the thought of that sacrifice though, I can say that it's really not so bad. My BFF lived for five years with two incontinent cats in one room at her dad's house when she needed to get herself together after her ex left her with $40k in cc debt. She hated it a lot of the time, but she left with no debt, a small nest egg, and a better relationship with her dad than she'd ever had. Some of my closest friends now are people I roomed with when we were broke. We had a blast! If you look at it as an adventure and an opportunity, instead of as *only* a sacrifice, you could find that living below your means is actually... fun.

Thank you for the advice, I really don't think i overspend. Everything that I pay for is a NEED, not a Want. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment, rent is $1500, utilities:200-250/month (no cable). Phone:$50, Daycare:1300, CAR ins:130, car note:300, Gas:200, food:500, CC:300 (Trying to pay them off). I don't get child support, I don't have family around so can't move in somewhere to save money, ex-husband will not allow me to move out of state, so I am pretty much stuck in this area. i can not decrease any of these expenses because they are all necessary. I can not live any further out , I already live far enough and only have a 1 bedroom, really I just don't make enough money but I am not a spender, I rarely buy things for myself, spent 0$$ for xmas. I will not be able to get out of this, unless i earn more

If you do not receive child support how is it your ex prevents you from moving? Can you re visit the no support? Sounds like you need and deserve it.

Btw, nothing is achieved with a whiny attitude. You can feel sorry for yourself for a minute, then buck up and do something about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here- Thanks to the people who responded. I am looking for Inspiration and motivation. I am 30, divorced, has a child and make $70k/year, I feel like i will never make it because I live paycheck to paycheck, my expenses are high because this is a HIGH COL area. I barely save for retirement has less than $10k in retirement, $6k in cc debt ( i was short on daycare so had to pay for it on my cc ) $5k left on the car loan ( car totaled, did not have any savings so had to borrow to get a car) 0 savings. I feel like Iam in a vicious circle and this will never end and I will never make it out, save for my child's college or buy a house. Funny thing, i come from a well-off family, went to private schools all my life, then college and grad school all paid off by my parents and I still can't make it grrrrr

There's a consistent thread in all of this advice, OP. Pretty much everyone on here has expressed support (in one way or another) for living below your means. You are not doing that. No one spends their way out of a bad financial situation. You must sacrifice your way out. Can you make some changes to make that happen? Can you, for example, move in with your parents? Or, perhaps you could move in with another single mom and share child-care duties? You have a hard choice before you, OP: sacrifice QOL or sacrifice financial security. It really is that simple.

Before you freak out at the thought of that sacrifice though, I can say that it's really not so bad. My BFF lived for five years with two incontinent cats in one room at her dad's house when she needed to get herself together after her ex left her with $40k in cc debt. She hated it a lot of the time, but she left with no debt, a small nest egg, and a better relationship with her dad than she'd ever had. Some of my closest friends now are people I roomed with when we were broke. We had a blast! If you look at it as an adventure and an opportunity, instead of as *only* a sacrifice, you could find that living below your means is actually... fun.

Thank you for the advice, I really don't think i overspend. Everything that I pay for is a NEED, not a Want. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment, rent is $1500, utilities:200-250/month (no cable). Phone:$50, Daycare:1300, CAR ins:130, car note:300, Gas:200, food:500, CC:300 (Trying to pay them off). I don't get child support, I don't have family around so can't move in somewhere to save money, ex-husband will not allow me to move out of state, so I am pretty much stuck in this area. i can not decrease any of these expenses because they are all necessary. I can not live any further out , I already live far enough and only have a 1 bedroom, really I just don't make enough money but I am not a spender, I rarely buy things for myself, spent 0$$ for xmas. I will not be able to get out of this, unless i earn more

If you do not receive child support how is it your ex prevents you from moving? Can you re visit the no support? Sounds like you need and deserve it.

Btw, nothing is achieved with a whiny attitude. You can feel sorry for yourself for a minute, then buck up and do something about it.

I am not whiny, I have been surviving on my own for years but you won't find me crying or whining about it. I came here to see how others did it and someone asked about my my lifestyle and I answered, that's all. Can't move because he has visitation, I filed for child support in 2013. In november they sent out paperwork stating it was going to be granted, but I have yet to receive a dime. I will call back the child support office this week and see where it stands

[Anonymous]

PP here. I'm not dishing on you for the cc. I've been broke and had to use it too. But, what about that one-bedroom? Can you get a studio? What about moving into shared housing with another single mom?

This is what I meant by sacrifice. It's about cutting into the needs. I'm not trying to lecture, but you asked how those of us who have been in your situation (and worse) made it out. We did it by re-evaluating what we truly needed and then we cut into bone. I slept on a lazy boy in someone's living room for a year once. I've eaten beans and rice for weeks on end. You've already made the easy choices, which are to buy nothing for yourself. If you want to get ahead, it's going to take more than that. Yes, earning more would help, but for now you have to live on what you have. If you could get your housing costs below $1000 a month, and you bank the difference, you have a real shot at digging out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I'm not dishing on you for the cc. I've been broke and had to use it too. But, what about that one-bedroom? Can you get a studio? What about moving into shared housing with another single mom?

This is what I meant by sacrifice. It's about cutting into the needs. I'm not trying to lecture, but you asked how those of us who have been in your situation (and worse) made it out. We did it by re-evaluating what we truly needed and then we cut into bone. I slept on a lazy boy in someone's living room for a year once. I've eaten beans and rice for weeks on end. You've already made the easy choices, which are to buy nothing for yourself. If you want to get ahead, it's going to take more than that. Yes, earning more would help, but for now you have to live on what you have. If you could get your housing costs below $1000 a month, and you bank the difference, you have a real shot at digging out.

I live in the suburbs, I don't even think studio apartments are available in this area. I have a 4 year old, and i already feel bad cramming my child in a 1 bedroom, a studio would be even worse. How would he sleep in peace? go to sleep on time? whILE Im still up working on the computer till late at night ? It just wouldn't work. Thanks for the suggestions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here- Thanks to the people who responded. I am looking for Inspiration and motivation. I am 30, divorced, has a child and make $70k/year, I feel like i will never make it because I live paycheck to paycheck, my expenses are high because this is a HIGH COL area. I barely save for retirement has less than $10k in retirement, $6k in cc debt ( i was short on daycare so had to pay for it on my cc ) $5k left on the car loan ( car totaled, did not have any savings so had to borrow to get a car) 0 savings. I feel like Iam in a vicious circle and this will never end and I will never make it out, save for my child's college or buy a house. Funny thing, i come from a well-off family, went to private schools all my life, then college and grad school all paid off by my parents and I still can't make it grrrrr

There's a consistent thread in all of this advice, OP. Pretty much everyone on here has expressed support (in one way or another) for living below your means. You are not doing that. No one spends their way out of a bad financial situation. You must sacrifice your way out. Can you make some changes to make that happen? Can you, for example, move in with your parents? Or, perhaps you could move in with another single mom and share child-care duties? You have a hard choice before you, OP: sacrifice QOL or sacrifice financial security. It really is that simple.

Before you freak out at the thought of that sacrifice though, I can say that it's really not so bad. My BFF lived for five years with two incontinent cats in one room at her dad's house when she needed to get herself together after her ex left her with $40k in cc debt. She hated it a lot of the time, but she left with no debt, a small nest egg, and a better relationship with her dad than she'd ever had. Some of my closest friends now are people I roomed with when we were broke. We had a blast! If you look at it as an adventure and an opportunity, instead of as *only* a sacrifice, you could find that living below your means is actually... fun.

Thank you for the advice, I really don't think i overspend. Everything that I pay for is a NEED, not a Want. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment, rent is $1500, utilities:200-250/month (no cable). Phone:$50, Daycare:1300, CAR ins:130, car note:300, Gas:200, food:500, CC:300 (Trying to pay them off). I don't get child support, I don't have family around so can't move in somewhere to save money, ex-husband will not allow me to move out of state, so I am pretty much stuck in this area. i can not decrease any of these expenses because they are all necessary. I can not live any further out , I already live far enough and only have a 1 bedroom, really I just don't make enough money but I am not a spender, I rarely buy things for myself, spent 0$$ for xmas. I will not be able to get out of this, unless i earn more

My family of four lives very comfortably on 80K. I am looking over your budget figures and you are definitely overspending on rent, daycare, car note, and food. You should be able to get a perfectly nice 1 bedroom for $1K area. Is it ideal? No, but it will get you out of debt and then you get more options. I cringed at your daycare amount. Sent my child to a wonderful accredited in-home daycare for $830. I assume you are sending her to a center? I would loved to have done that -- but couldn't afford it. Get your county list of at home day cares and visit around. Finally, $500 a month on groceries is too much for two people. Cut that down to $250-300. You don't have to eat like that forever but at least until you get out of debt.

It is easy to justify spending money especially on little things that seem reasonable. I remember my days of using a bus pass because I couldn't afford the subway and when taco night was a big luxury. If I never see another PB&J or can of soup, it will be too soon. I don't have nearly the savings I want, and you have more retirement than my family does. But we don't have any credit card debt -- and putting your daycare on a credit card screams that you can't afford it. Axe that luxury or another one. But you can't have them all and gain financial stability.

Best of luck to you. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here- Thanks to the people who responded. I am looking for Inspiration and motivation. I am 30, divorced, has a child and make $70k/year, I feel like i will never make it because I live paycheck to paycheck, my expenses are high because this is a HIGH COL area. I barely save for retirement has less than $10k in retirement, $6k in cc debt ( i was short on daycare so had to pay for it on my cc ) $5k left on the car loan ( car totaled, did not have any savings so had to borrow to get a car) 0 savings. I feel like Iam in a vicious circle and this will never end and I will never make it out, save for my child's college or buy a house. Funny thing, i come from a well-off family, went to private schools all my life, then college and grad school all paid off by my parents and I still can't make it grrrrr

There's a consistent thread in all of this advice, OP. Pretty much everyone on here has expressed support (in one way or another) for living below your means. You are not doing that. No one spends their way out of a bad financial situation. You must sacrifice your way out. Can you make some changes to make that happen? Can you, for example, move in with your parents? Or, perhaps you could move in with another single mom and share child-care duties? You have a hard choice before you, OP: sacrifice QOL or sacrifice financial security. It really is that simple.

Before you freak out at the thought of that sacrifice though, I can say that it's really not so bad. My BFF lived for five years with two incontinent cats in one room at her dad's house when she needed to get herself together after her ex left her with $40k in cc debt. She hated it a lot of the time, but she left with no debt, a small nest egg, and a better relationship with her dad than she'd ever had. Some of my closest friends now are people I roomed with when we were broke. We had a blast! If you look at it as an adventure and an opportunity, instead of as *only* a sacrifice, you could find that living below your means is actually... fun.

Thank you for the advice, I really don't think i overspend. Everything that I pay for is a NEED, not a Want. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment, rent is $1500, utilities:200-250/month (no cable). Phone:$50, Daycare:1300, CAR ins:130, car note:300, Gas:200, food:500, CC:300 (Trying to pay them off). I don't get child support, I don't have family around so can't move in somewhere to save money, ex-husband will not allow me to move out of state, so I am pretty much stuck in this area. i can not decrease any of these expenses because they are all necessary. I can not live any further out , I already live far enough and only have a 1 bedroom, really I just don't make enough money but I am not a spender, I rarely buy things for myself, spent 0$$ for xmas. I will not be able to get out of this, unless i earn more

My family of four lives very comfortably on 80K. I am looking over your budget figures and you are definitely overspending on rent, daycare, car note, and food. You should be able to get a perfectly nice 1 bedroom for $1K area. Is it ideal? No, but it will get you out of debt and then you get more options. I cringed at your daycare amount. Sent my child to a wonderful accredited in-home daycare for $830. I assume you are sending her to a center? I would loved to have done that -- but couldn't afford it. Get your county list of at home day cares and visit around. Finally, $500 a month on groceries is too much for two people. Cut that down to $250-300. You don't have to eat like that forever but at least until you get out of debt.

It is easy to justify spending money especially on little things that seem reasonable. I remember my days of using a bus pass because I couldn't afford the subway and when taco night was a big luxury. If I never see another PB&J or can of soup, it will be too soon. I don't have nearly the savings I want, and you have more retirement than my family does. But we don't have any credit card debt -- and putting your daycare on a credit card screams that you can't afford it. Axe that luxury or another one. But you can't have them all and gain financial stability.

Best of luck to you. .

Thank you. My job is in Tysons Corner. My son will start school this fall (sept 2014) so places that have a 1 bedroom for $1k do not have good schools. I would rather be in a place that offers good public schools and pay the extra $500 in rent , i beleive in doing as much as you can to offer a good education to your children. Do you know of any areas with good schools that are safe and commutable to Tysons Corner with 1 bedroom around $1k? please let me know if you do, i would love to move there as soon as my lease is over For daycare, yes she is in a center, she was in a home daycare before and it did not work out, I could not find the hours that i needed or it was too far from my house/job, or we had a horirble experience and had to pull her out. I need a place open at least from 7am to 6h30 pm. i am open to any suggestions that anyone might have about areas to move to or daycare that would work. Thank you

[Anonymous]

I give up. Every suggestion is met with an excuse. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

OP - you can definitely cut your food budget to $250.

Shop in season produce, eat bulk oatmeal for breakfast, increase protein through beans, and I suspect you will still have enough left for organic milk and other items.

Check out some Mark Bittman recipes that use meat as a garnish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - you can definitely cut your food budget to $250.

Shop in season produce, eat bulk oatmeal for breakfast, increase protein through beans, and I suspect you will still have enough left for organic milk and other items.

Check out some Mark Bittman recipes that use meat as a garnish.

Yes, one of the new resolutions is to start cooking more, so I am limiting our food budget and also enrolled to use coupons so this could work. Thank you !

[Anonymous]

I assume you are in FFXC? I am in south Arlington. Look, we live in an area with the top school systems in the country. Your kid is going to be fine. Take a look at apartments.com to find rentals that you can afford. First priority is affordable, second is schools.

We had a bad home daycare experience too. Once we changed, a great one.

I understand that schools are important. We are sacrificing other financial goals to stay in overpriced Arlington for the schools, especially immersion. But you need to keep perspective on the big picture. I would rather live in a more modest neighborhood and add enrichment opportunities for my kids after school.

I'm not familiar enough with FFXC to make suggestions that are reasonably close to your job. The good news too is that your kid will be aging out of PreK very soon and you will have that money back. If you can move her to a more affordable placement through August, you might be able to pinch through.

Once again, the county has a list of accredited daycare providers (at least Arlington does). Home daycare might be flexible about the usual 6:00pm end time too. Get the list, call, tour the homes, and ask for recommendations. We did that and everything worked out.