To anyone who once had nothing and is now worth 7 or 8 figures:

[Anonymous]

I think you have to look at every item in your budget and see what you can trim for now. You're already tacking food it sounds like. Next is utilities-that seems high for a 1 bedroom apartment. See if you can adjust heat downwards, set a timer for showers, cover your windows with plastic, see if you can get on a leveled utility plan to make it more predictable. Gas-try to combine trips as much as possible, walk if you can to any errands. Spend the time to shop around for car insurance-we pay around $100 a month for max coverages with collision and comprehensive.

None of those will save you huge amounts, but if you can trim even $10-20 from each category, it will start to add up every month-especially combined with food savings. I'd use it to find an emergency savings account to help avoid having to use credit for future emergencies.

Then hopefully child support will kick in and help alleviate some of your stress. Then in September, your child care costs should drop when school starts. The key will be to not stop economizing once those two things change-keep living like you didn't have the extra money and pour it into savings (or the credit card debt to free up more cash flow).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume you are in FFXC? I am in south Arlington. Look, we live in an area with the top school systems in the country. Your kid is going to be fine. Take a look at apartments.com to find rentals that you can afford. First priority is affordable, second is schools.

We had a bad home daycare experience too. Once we changed, a great one.

I understand that schools are important. We are sacrificing other financial goals to stay in overpriced Arlington for the schools, especially immersion. But you need to keep perspective on the big picture. I would rather live in a more modest neighborhood and add enrichment opportunities for my kids after school.

I'm not familiar enough with FFXC to make suggestions that are reasonably close to your job. The good news too is that your kid will be aging out of PreK very soon and you will have that money back. If you can move her to a more affordable placement through August, you might be able to pinch through.

Once again, the county has a list of accredited daycare providers (at least Arlington does). Home daycare might be flexible about the usual 6:00pm end time too. Get the list, call, tour the homes, and ask for recommendations. We did that and everything worked out.

Yes, fairfax county. I will check the county website. I agree, things will be easier once she starts K as i will only have to pay for before and after care then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to look at every item in your budget and see what you can trim for now. You're already tacking food it sounds like. Next is utilities-that seems high for a 1 bedroom apartment. See if you can adjust heat downwards, set a timer for showers, cover your windows with plastic, see if you can get on a leveled utility plan to make it more predictable. Gas-try to combine trips as much as possible, walk if you can to any errands. Spend the time to shop around for car insurance-we pay around $100 a month for max coverages with collision and comprehensive.

None of those will save you huge amounts, but if you can trim even $10-20 from each category, it will start to add up every month-especially combined with food savings. I'd use it to find an emergency savings account to help avoid having to use credit for future emergencies.

Then hopefully child support will kick in and help alleviate some of your stress. Then in September, your child care costs should drop when school starts. The key will be to not stop economizing once those two things change-keep living like you didn't have the extra money and pour it into savings (or the credit card debt to free up more cash flow).

The apartment is not well insulated that is why but my lease will be up in April and I can move then. I am already looking at options online as far as neighborhoods/prices are concerned to have an idea of what's available on the market. my car insurance is high because i've had 3 car accidents in the past 3 years. This was actually the cheapest rate I got, everybody else was quoting me $400 and $500.

[Anonymous]

Agree that you can cut your food budget by a lot. I spend $7/month on my Tracphone. Switch plans and it'll save your $43/mo. $250/mo is a lot for electricity. I have a 2 bedroom apartment and spend less than $75/mo on electricity.

Check out the dave ramsey forums or one of the groups on facebook. There are lots of tips on how to cut your electric bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you can cut your food budget by a lot. I spend $7/month on my Tracphone. Switch plans and it'll save your $43/mo. $250/mo is a lot for electricity. I have a 2 bedroom apartment and spend less than $75/mo on electricity.

Check out the dave ramsey forums or one of the groups on facebook. There are lots of tips on how to cut your electric bill.

250 is for electricity, gas and internet ( only hot water and stove are gas, everything else is electric) . Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume you are in FFXC? I am in south Arlington. Look, we live in an area with the top school systems in the country. Your kid is going to be fine. Take a look at apartments.com to find rentals that you can afford. First priority is affordable, second is schools.

We had a bad home daycare experience too. Once we changed, a great one.

I understand that schools are important. We are sacrificing other financial goals to stay in overpriced Arlington for the schools, especially immersion. But you need to keep perspective on the big picture. I would rather live in a more modest neighborhood and add enrichment opportunities for my kids after school.

I'm not familiar enough with FFXC to make suggestions that are reasonably close to your job. The good news too is that your kid will be aging out of PreK very soon and you will have that money back. If you can move her to a more affordable placement through August, you might be able to pinch through.

Once again, the county has a list of accredited daycare providers (at least Arlington does). Home daycare might be flexible about the usual 6:00pm end time too. Get the list, call, tour the homes, and ask for recommendations. We did that and everything worked out.

Yes, fairfax county. I will check the county website. I agree, things will be easier once she starts K as i will only have to pay for before and after care then.

And summer camps and care during holidays, breaks, etc. be prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

Immigrant child. Grew up very poor (by U.S. standards). Did extremely well in school from an early age.

1. Never would have guessed I would stop living month to month. All I ever wanted when young was security in knowing that I would never starve. I joke to DH that I from 20 years ago wouldn't believe it if she saw me now.

2. It is stressful. Mo' money, mo' problems, as they say. You have more to lose. You are constantly worrying about your investments, monitoring various markets. The best, most carefree and happy years were when I was dating DH during grad school. No money, no furniture, one crappy car on its last legs between the two of us, no responsibilities, nothing to lose.

3. 13 years since graduating grad school. Started a couple of our own businesses. Nothing anyone wants to buy us out of, but at least we keep all the money.

4. Know when to recognize opportunities, and have the gumption to take smart risks even when everyone around you is not. This is harder than you think. It is hard to throw your money into an investment when everyone around you is howling that its a bad investment. It could be; it can also triple in five years, and you will be the only one to see that money. Money can be made if you are being contrarian. You either are born a hardass or become one in order to run successful businesses. Sweet, gentle, retiring people do not succeed in business. You should be honest, but definitely knowing when to brawl (including litigation) is key in preventing others from taking all you have.

I second the other posters: marrying well is key. I don't mean marrying money, although that is a shortcut to wealth, no doubt. I mean marrying a good person, who shares your values. Marrying a man who goes out and buys a Bentley with the first $250,000 you make does not bode well. Same for marrying a wife who spends money like water on home furnishings and handbags and god knows what as fast as you bring it in. Both DH and I are very frugal. Our standard of living is slowly climbing, but it definitely is several steps behind our true net worth. I bought a $2000 handbag five years ago because I was tired of my handbags getting beat up in 3 months because I am so hard on them, I am still using it and it is my daily handbag, great buy. It seemed an incredible splurge at the time. I still shop at Goodwill. I wear JC Penney, no designer clothes. My children wear secondhand. I drive a 10+ year old car. Our families have no idea how we're doing, the inconsistencies drive them crazy. We live modestly but give nice gifts (I love giving gifts).

Why do you want to be rich? Because you dream of all the nice things money can buy? You won't get rich then. You'll keep spending. If the idea of having lots of money sitting in a bank but wearing secondhand clothes eats at you, you will not be wealthy. I *like* watching money grow. I prefer it vastly to watching money get spent. I have no itch to spend it. I hate the Mall.

[Anonymous]

OP I've read all your posts and here are my thoughts.

I am not super familiar with this, but am aware that FFX has set aside 'workforce' housing/apartment units intended to assist people just like you - middle income, working, maybe single parent. Am sure the county website has pages and contact numbers for more information.
And as you know before/after care at SAC is on a sliding scale, and some daycare centers have special set asides for single moms - if you have not previously inquired, make sure to ask.
The child support should be a big help for getting on a more secure footing. I'd put it to the daycare while paying down the credit cards. Then move on to paying off the car asap. Then I would keep aggressively saving to build up a serious emergency fund - maybe 6 months expenses because you don't have a fall back right now as a single working mom. Put your raises and bonuses and any money saved from frugality to debt payoff and then emergency fund buildup.

Also, I'd start reading the good personal finance writers, from the library. David Ramsey on debt payoff. David Bach on how to save automatically to overcome your own worst instincts, Eric Tyson on how to invest most effectively and avoid getting ripped off.

You are going to make this happen OP and will be amazed in 5 years and in a totally different place in 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

1. Yes

2. Seven figure income, eight figure net worth. Kinda crazy actually. I totally recognize that we have a lot, but the crazy thing is realizing that extreme wealth ($100MM+) is actually a real possibility. The difference is that now we can afford almost anything, but not everything. Ironically as you gave more you tend to want less.

3. 11 years. I graduated at 24 and by 35 my balance sheet and income got insane.

4. Start a business. Have huge wAnts, but few needs. Read about spending big, but don't. Spend money on experiences not things. Invest a lot. Learn about real estate. No matter how wealthy you are people should think you are less Wealthy. Establish multiple bank relationships. No partners in your main business because no one should be as good as you. Partner with others on side businesses because your partners are better at it than you. Constantly take calculated risks. Keep perspective and remember it is just money. Maximize leverage for investments, but taper down what that leverage is as you age and as assets accumulate. Never do a deal you don't understand. Don't take financial advice from anyone less wealthy than you are. Learn the tax code. Pay your full share of taxes.

[Anonymous]

Also, you have a great advantage over a lot of your peers in that you already have kids, and you do not have any student loan debt. There are a lot of people your age who may never have kids because their debt burden is holding them back from living adult lives. Yes it is difficult, but you are actually in better shape than many people already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here- Thanks to the people who responded. I am looking for Inspiration and motivation. I am 30, divorced, has a child and make $70k/year, I feel like i will never make it because I live paycheck to paycheck, my expenses are high because this is a HIGH COL area. I barely save for retirement has less than $10k in retirement, $6k in cc debt ( i was short on daycare so had to pay for it on my cc ) $5k left on the car loan ( car totaled, did not have any savings so had to borrow to get a car) 0 savings. I feel like Iam in a vicious circle and this will never end and I will never make it out, save for my child's college or buy a house. Funny thing, i come from a well-off family, went to private schools all my life, then college and grad school all paid off by my parents and I still can't make it grrrrr

There's a consistent thread in all of this advice, OP. Pretty much everyone on here has expressed support (in one way or another) for living below your means. You are not doing that. No one spends their way out of a bad financial situation. You must sacrifice your way out. Can you make some changes to make that happen? Can you, for example, move in with your parents? Or, perhaps you could move in with another single mom and share child-care duties? You have a hard choice before you, OP: sacrifice QOL or sacrifice financial security. It really is that simple.

Before you freak out at the thought of that sacrifice though, I can say that it's really not so bad. My BFF lived for five years with two incontinent cats in one room at her dad's house when she needed to get herself together after her ex left her with $40k in cc debt. She hated it a lot of the time, but she left with no debt, a small nest egg, and a better relationship with her dad than she'd ever had. Some of my closest friends now are people I roomed with when we were broke. We had a blast! If you look at it as an adventure and an opportunity, instead of as *only* a sacrifice, you could find that living below your means is actually... fun.

Thank you for the advice, I really don't think i overspend. Everything that I pay for is a NEED, not a Want. I live in a 1 bedroom apartment, rent is $1500, utilities:200-250/month (no cable). Phone:$50, Daycare:1300, CAR ins:130, car note:300, Gas:200, food:500, CC:300 (Trying to pay them off). I don't get child support, I don't have family around so can't move in somewhere to save money, ex-husband will not allow me to move out of state, so I am pretty much stuck in this area. i can not decrease any of these expenses because they are all necessary. I can not live any further out , I already live far enough and only have a 1 bedroom, really I just don't make enough money but I am not a spender, I rarely buy things for myself, spent 0$$ for xmas. I will not be able to get out of this, unless i earn more

I am the poster who hates the Mall. No, you dont overspend but its always possible to spend less. I grew up in a single room with my entire family. One of our places had no kitchen. I am telling you, you can scrimp even more. But I understand it's hard. The little luxuries, like a bedroom, are hard to give up. Back in the day, dh and I lived in shithole apartments when friends of comparable wealth lived in luxury apartments paying $5000 a month in rent. This was a long time ago. Im sure some people laughed at us or pitied us ("they can't be doing well"). We didn't care. We had a plan.

Children aren't traumatized if you don't have a bedroom. I shared a bed with my mom until I was 17 (oh, the horrors, right?). That's all we had and it was okay. Sock some more money away and bring some financial security in your life. It will bring you more peace of mind.

Maybe you should think about fighting that prohibition and liivng where its cheaper. Texas, Nevada and Florida all have no state income tax, I believe. The Midwest has good people and lower COL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

1. Yes

2. Seven figure income, eight figure net worth. Kinda crazy actually. I totally recognize that we have a lot, but the crazy thing is realizing that extreme wealth ($100MM+) is actually a real possibility. The difference is that now we can afford almost anything, but not everything. Ironically as you gave more you tend to want less.

3. 11 years. I graduated at 24 and by 35 my balance sheet and income got insane.

4. Start a business. Have huge wAnts, but few needs. Read about spending big, but don't. Spend money on experiences not things. Invest a lot. Learn about real estate. No matter how wealthy you are people should think you are less Wealthy. Establish multiple bank relationships. No partners in your main business because no one should be as good as you. Partner with others on side businesses because your partners are better at it than you. Constantly take calculated risks. Keep perspective and remember it is just money. Maximize leverage for investments, but taper down what that leverage is as you age and as assets accumulate. Never do a deal you don't understand. Don't take financial advice from anyone less wealthy than you are. Learn the tax code. Pay your full share of taxes.

Dear PP, may I ask what field got you started? You don't have to go into detail, but just curious: real estate, food services, high finance, tech?

We are less than you, but similar trajectory. Completely agree with everything you posted, btw. We got our start in professional services but now of course we have our fingers in many pies but i do like real estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

1. Yes

2. Seven figure income, eight figure net worth. Kinda crazy actually. I totally recognize that we have a lot, but the crazy thing is realizing that extreme wealth ($100MM+) is actually a real possibility. The difference is that now we can afford almost anything, but not everything. Ironically as you gave more you tend to want less.

3. 11 years. I graduated at 24 and by 35 my balance sheet and income got insane.

4. Start a business. Have huge wAnts, but few needs. Read about spending big, but don't. Spend money on experiences not things. Invest a lot. Learn about real estate. No matter how wealthy you are people should think you are less Wealthy. Establish multiple bank relationships. No partners in your main business because no one should be as good as you. Partner with others on side businesses because your partners are better at it than you. Constantly take calculated risks. Keep perspective and remember it is just money. Maximize leverage for investments, but taper down what that leverage is as you age and as assets accumulate. Never do a deal you don't understand. Don't take financial advice from anyone less wealthy than you are. Learn the tax code. Pay your full share of taxes.

Dear PP, may I ask what field got you started? You don't have to go into detail, but just curious: real estate, food services, high finance, tech?

We are less than you, but similar trajectory. Completely agree with everything you posted, btw. We got our start in professional services but now of course we have our fingers in many pies but i do like real estate.

Got my start in insurance. But about half of my income ones from other sources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume you are in FFXC? I am in south Arlington. Look, we live in an area with the top school systems in the country. Your kid is going to be fine. Take a look at apartments.com to find rentals that you can afford. First priority is affordable, second is schools.

We had a bad home daycare experience too. Once we changed, a great one.

I understand that schools are important. We are sacrificing other financial goals to stay in overpriced Arlington for the schools, especially immersion. But you need to keep perspective on the big picture. I would rather live in a more modest neighborhood and add enrichment opportunities for my kids after school.

I'm not familiar enough with FFXC to make suggestions that are reasonably close to your job. The good news too is that your kid will be aging out of PreK very soon and you will have that money back. If you can move her to a more affordable placement through August, you might be able to pinch through.

Once again, the county has a list of accredited daycare providers (at least Arlington does). Home daycare might be flexible about the usual 6:00pm end time too. Get the list, call, tour the homes, and ask for recommendations. We did that and everything worked out.

Yes, fairfax county. I will check the county website. I agree, things will be easier once she starts K as i will only have to pay for before and after care then.

And summer camps and care during holidays, breaks, etc. be prepared.

Forgot about those 2, though I was planning to use my vacation and have my ex use some of his at least for holidays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello,


1. When you had nothing, did it ever seem possible to you to one day have 7 or eight figures?

2. How does it feel psychologically and emotionally to have 7 or eight figures?

3. How long did it take?

4. Any tips on how to achieve such a feat?

Thanks

Immigrant child. Grew up very poor (by U.S. standards). Did extremely well in school from an early age.

1. Never would have guessed I would stop living month to month. All I ever wanted when young was security in knowing that I would never starve. I joke to DH that I from 20 years ago wouldn't believe it if she saw me now.

2. It is stressful. Mo' money, mo' problems, as they say. You have more to lose. You are constantly worrying about your investments, monitoring various markets. The best, most carefree and happy years were when I was dating DH during grad school. No money, no furniture, one crappy car on its last legs between the two of us, no responsibilities, nothing to lose.

3. 13 years since graduating grad school. Started a couple of our own businesses. Nothing anyone wants to buy us out of, but at least we keep all the money.

4. Know when to recognize opportunities, and have the gumption to take smart risks even when everyone around you is not. This is harder than you think. It is hard to throw your money into an investment when everyone around you is howling that its a bad investment. It could be; it can also triple in five years, and you will be the only one to see that money. Money can be made if you are being contrarian. You either are born a hardass or become one in order to run successful businesses. Sweet, gentle, retiring people do not succeed in business. You should be honest, but definitely knowing when to brawl (including litigation) is key in preventing others from taking all you have.

I second the other posters: marrying well is key. I don't mean marrying money, although that is a shortcut to wealth, no doubt. I mean marrying a good person, who shares your values. Marrying a man who goes out and buys a Bentley with the first $250,000 you make does not bode well. Same for marrying a wife who spends money like water on home furnishings and handbags and god knows what as fast as you bring it in. Both DH and I are very frugal. Our standard of living is slowly climbing, but it definitely is several steps behind our true net worth. I bought a $2000 handbag five years ago because I was tired of my handbags getting beat up in 3 months because I am so hard on them, I am still using it and it is my daily handbag, great buy. It seemed an incredible splurge at the time. I still shop at Goodwill. I wear JC Penney, no designer clothes. My children wear secondhand. I drive a 10+ year old car. Our families have no idea how we're doing, the inconsistencies drive them crazy. We live modestly but give nice gifts (I love giving gifts).

Why do you want to be rich? Because you dream of all the nice things money can buy? You won't get rich then. You'll keep spending. If the idea of having lots of money sitting in a bank but wearing secondhand clothes eats at you, you will not be wealthy. I *like* watching money grow. I prefer it vastly to watching money get spent. I have no itch to spend it. I hate the Mall.

OP Here- Congrats on achieving this. You are right that marrying well is good. The main reason of my divorce was my ex's poor financial choices. He came in the marriage with thousands and thousands of dollars of debt, owed taxes, ect that I did not know about till after we got married, he had a poor credit history and everything had to be put under my name and he still failed to pay his share of every common financial responsibility. Left the marriage with $10k in debt and bad credit that I have been trying to rebuild. The ironic thing is , i have a bachelors and master's degree in Finance (ahah the irony) and this was my nightmare. I am very savvy when it comes to spending, saving, investing ext. I analyze balance sheets and income statements for a living for crying out loud and here i am poor as a pauper. I never said I wanted to be rich by teh way, I just want to be comfortable, meaning not living paycheck to paycheck, be able to afford the things that my child needs, a roof on our head , save for college and emergencies. Funny thing is, my parents are rich, I grew up with maids and chauffeurs, private school, college all paid for. I left because I wanted to make it on my own and I wanted to make my own decisions, live my life, struggle, do things on my own instead of having my parents bail me out forever, well Iam struggling alright. But I am blessed that I have a good education that my parents paid for, now I just have to work hard and make the $$ work for me and also make smart career moves.