I have a sexless and loveless marriage. Ask me anything

[Anonymous]

How are you doing OP ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, hopefully all is going well. Some of these comments can come off a bit harsh.

It's okay. I have thick skin. These harsh comments on an anonymous forum are things these folks would never have the backbone to say in person. If it makes them feel better about themselves and their own lives, let them have it. These forums are full of unhelpful miserable people who post harsh comments to complete strangers. Crazy isn't it?

[Anonymous]

I agree. Have been following the thread and been thinking about you. Hope all is well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids will be fucked up. Think about it.

not at all and there is a lot of evidence to prove this. to your point, kids are fucked up when they are raised in a dysfunctional home and where the parents don't love each other.

But you're not interested in a real conversation, so STFU and go away.

A loveless and sexless marriage IS a dysfunctional home.

[Anonymous]

Sorry

[Anonymous]

I'm sure there are quite a few of us. Resentments, financial stress, cheating on his part = sexless, loveless (on my part, he claims to love me) marriage. Done marriage counseling, individual therapy. Haven't had sex since I discovered his cheating over a year ago. I'm pretty sure I'm done with him, but I didn't want to pull the trigger when everything was raw and emotional, so I've been giving myself time to get ready and wait for the kids to be a bit older & more independent. They're in middle school and I think I'm getting close to calling it quits, but want a bit more time to get finances in order.

[Anonymous]

PP...how do you satisfy your sexual and emotional needs in the mean time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP...how do you satisfy your sexual and emotional needs in the mean time?

I masturbate and fantasize a lot, lol! Emotional needs - not so easy, but I'm taking care of myself as I can: reaching out to some friends, giving myself "me" time, excercising regularly...

[Anonymous]

16:08 here. Do you need a helper pp...

[Anonymous]

Sorry but you need to have an affair OP. Actually, sometimes affairs can give you great self esteem boosts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:08 here. Do you need a helper pp...

Unlike my H, I won't go there until I'm no longer married. Not that I don't think about it a lot ...

[Anonymous]

I hope the OP is doing better, havent heard from her in a while. Thinking about it can be fun!

[Anonymous]

Is your first name Caren?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned sexless marriage.
How long has it been since the last time you had sex? Did he initiate? Did you?

I don't remember who initiated, but I think August was last time, and it was 2-3 months before that. He initiates most times, sometimes I do too.

Hey! August is not THAT bad. I am serious. I mean, while DD was very little once every 2-3 months was pretty much the norm. At least this is not like the threads where some poor schmuck (or schmuckette) hasn't gotten any in 2 years or something.

Honestly, OP's depression is what makes me most sad here. And she really does seem depressed. When you are in the midst of depression (and I've been there), it is very difficult, if not impossible, to see things clearly or for what they are. You are just so deep in your funk that everything looks like shit. Is her DH oblivious because he is cruel and no longer interested in holding the marriage together or is he oblivious and not interested in counseling because he just doesn't understand how deep OP's dissatisfaction is? There have been times where I am just so miserable and sad and dissatisfied and DH just doesn't even know how bad I feel. And if I then blew up, he was just totally blindsided, even though as far as I was concerned, I was making it very clear how unhappy I was! There could be so many things going on here, but OP needs to pull herself out of her misery first before she makes another move.

Female poster here: August is not bad? It's awful. Who could bear that kind of rejection? If DH doesn't make an overture for more than a few days, I initiate even if it's only sneaking off for a few minutes. OP, how can you stand it?

[Anonymous]

DW in here have high sex drives.... Love it.