Veteran moms: Tell us what the first month is like...
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Anonymous
I don't post too often on DCUM, but OP, I had to respond because your sarcasm rubbed me the wrong way. It was something about the time you took to write out a two-line response to this PP - you came across as all wound up, or entitled, or both. I hope you don't speak to people this way IRL. The PP is right. The first month is wonderful and totally worth it, but bleeding, pain, sleeplessness, hormones, the learning curve... those things suck. Nobody can prepare you perfectly for it. When you're post-partum, maybe you'll thank PP for real. She's giving you perspective and that's worth something. Anyway you need to search the archives. There are many threads already written on this topic. Do your own research. |
Anonymous
OP already stated that the sarcastic response WAS NOT HERS. Lay off. |
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A lot of my advice has been covered so ill just add this: the first few weeks were so hard I was sure I had made a big mistake. I was also positive DD would be on only.
Fast forward a few months, DD is 9.5 months and we're going to start TTC after my next cycle. You'll be great! |
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Anonymous
UGH, YES. So annoying - people would come over and hold the baby "so I could take a nap," and I would go to my bedroom, lie down, and stare at the ceiling for 2 hours. It just chemically wasn't in me yet to not worry. That took a while to pass. But then again, I often found it hard to shut my mind down and go to sleep pre-baby. I think a lot of it is deeply personal. |
Anonymous
Yes, same here! I told DH that there was absolutely no way we were doing it again and secretly, I thought we had made a mistake by having DS. Now at 9 months PP we are trying again! I love being a mom and I think next time around things will be so much less overwhelming. |
Anonymous
| Just want to say thank you to the OP for asking this question, and to all the posters for their responses. I am also due in November and this thread has been very interesting and informative. |
Anonymous
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It's rough and extra sleep now won't help. With that said, try to enjoy it because months down the road you might long for those days when the baby slept so easy and the baby was tiny enough to hold in your arms!
- mom of a big, active 9 month old |
Anonymous
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i haven't read all of the responses, but i wanted to chime in as a mom of two who is pregnant with her third. i honestly can't remember what the first month is like. for me, i just kind of muddled through and survived it. Then, once it's over, it becomes such a short and insignificant part of the kid's life that you can kind of forget it. the forgetting may also happen because of the forgetting hormones that make you forget about labor too.
my point is that, yes, the first month is really challenging, but you'll survive it and then you'll forget it. i find that comforting and hope you do too. the other greatest comfort i can offer to someone about to have a baby...they change really very quickly. so, in most cases, what is hard at week 4 isn't even a problem anymore at week 6 or 8. it's been replaced by a new problem, but at least the old problem is gone. best of luck! |
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Anonymous
In looking over these responses, my advice is this: Your experiences could be so completely different from what you're reading here, so take everything here with a grain of salt. I feel like I was frequently told "it's so hard," but it turned out that the really hard parts for me were not what I was expecting. For example, sleep deprivation was nothing to me. I just slept and woke at odd times throughout the day night, and had no ill effects from it. And my first night home was a breeze...it got more difficult as we went along. But breastfeeding, that was hard. Breastfeeding "every 2 hours," means two hours FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE LAST FEEDING. So if you start nursing at 2pm, the next feeding will be at 4pm. I had a horrible time with nursing, latching, supply, so each feeding could take 1.5 hours (latching, nursing, rocking back to sleep, then pumping). That was rough, not having enough time to shower and/or make a meal and eat it...and repeat. (nurse, rock to sleep, pump, make my lunch, nurse, rock to sleep, pump, microwave the lunch, eat 2 bites, nurse, rock to sleep, eat the lunch, fall asleep for 10 blissful minutes, nurse...) Find time to just rock your baby, hold him, snuggle. I remember my lactation consultant telling me often moms who are having nursing/latch/supply issues inadvertently only hold their babies while going thru the breastfeeding process, which for me was stressful. I had to remind myself to just hold him, make eye contact, and snuggle just so I could enjoy my baby more. |
Anonymous
| Great advice, PP! |
Anonymous
This is EXACTLY how I felt. Oh and about 6 months pp I wanted another one. |