DD's precocious development driving a wedge between my mommy friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, what a pretentious bore.

Just curious if you sometimes post other reposnses, or if your sole contribution to DCUM is to post the above on as many threads as possible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the fock are "baby signs"? And who gives a shit?

Smells like another fake coming down the pike.

"Baby signs" are essentially made up gestures. Some are based after actual ASL signs (ie: milk and all done aka finished) others are completely off (ie: dog).

IMO if you're going to use some sign with a child use the real thing.

That said - I doubt the OP is for real. And if she is for real, it's no wonder other moms don't care for her.

[Anonymous]

"For example, she knows at least half of the presidents and can tell you a couple simple facts about each one. ".

Which half?

I hope you didin't teach her. You are far from the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Is English your first language? Your writing blows.

[Anonymous]

http://dooverdecade.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/nurture-shock-chapter-5/

"The authors do make a compelling case for the flaws in the GT/private school admissions process:

o many schools/districts test children prior to or in kindergarten, and this test determines whether or not children qualify for Gifted and Talented programs or are admitted to private schools

o by the third grade, only 27 out of 100 children identified as GT in kindergarten would still “deserve” the label (according to achievement tests)

o some schools never test children again, so kids in the GT program are there for life, and kids who should be in the program (those 73 children who didn’t get spots in kindergarten) aren’t

o the creators of IQ tests do not follow up to see if the tests accurately predicted who would be successful in school (adacemic researchers do, and they’ve found that IQ tests have only a 40% correlation with later achievement test results)

o intelligence is fluid; young kids’ brains “just aren’t done yet” and you simply cannot determine who is gifted and talented for sure while their brains are still developing

o IQ tests given in middle school are good indicators of academic success in high school
"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"For example, she knows at least half of the presidents and can tell you a couple simple facts about each one. ".

Which half?

I hope you didin't teach her. You are far from the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Is English your first language? Your writing blows.

Wow. Someone forgot to take her meds today.

[Anonymous]

OP - here's another article you may find of use....

http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10124.aspx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, please don't listen to the rude and unfortunate comments. The reactions you are receiving here are sadly part of being a parent of a gifted kid.

Here is something I've taken from Hoagies Gifted website. It's an excellent resource and it sounds like you'll need all the guidance you can with your little one's unique needs.

Hard Won Truths
by Juliet Thomas
It's really hard to go against everything you've grown up to believe - schools always know what's best for kids, they have their best interests at heart, 7 year olds belong in 1st grade... etc. But with a PGlet (editor's note: fond name for our pg children) child, you've landed at an alternative destination, and the historical assumptions don't work here.

Here's four rules-to-live-by that we've learned the hard way - your mileage may vary, but they might help you, too:

Rule # 1 - Keep quiet. With immediate effect, stop discussing your decisions regarding your son with anyone besides your husband. That includes family, friends, neighbors, clergy, everyone. If you find people who are helpful and supportive (even if they don't always agree), you can selectively add them back in, but do so cautiously. Their reaction to your decisions will rarely be purely based on you and your son, and will much more likely be mired in their own "stuff". People have a huge set of their own biases, their own history and their own motivations. People often seem to feel quite defensive - if you're doing this for your son, maybe they didn't do enough for theirs, etc. Or, maybe they'd hate to admit that cousin Jimmy really IS that much smarter than their kid. Whatever their issues, you have a big enough challenge ahead of you - plowing through other people's "stuff" is extra drag you don't need. When people ask what you're doing - just say you're trying your best to accommodate his "special needs". You can even throw in something about taking his counselor's advice! Don't give details about the calculus he's doing when he's 8, simply tell them "he's really happy and things are going well - thanks!" Come here to celebrate specific successes - we understand and celebrate well.

Rule # 2 - Trust yourself and your kid. No one knows your son better than you and your husband. There are certainly a few select experts in xg (editor's note: highly, exceptionally or profoundly gifted) kids that can give you advice, there are a few great websites like Hoagies and Uniquely Gifted (www.uniquelygifted.org) to guide you to helpful resources and there are other families who have been through similar things, but no one knows him better than you do. Furthermore, and more importantly, no one cares about him more. When your "mommy radar" is going off - something's wrong - don't let anyone else tell you differently. I truly, truly, truly know how difficult it is to shut out the ever-present noise, telling you to stop worrying, stop "pushing", stop whatever you're doing that makes them uncomfortable. Shut out that noise, but listen to your son. You'll know when you're on the right track by watching and hearing him. Many of us on this list, including me, wish we had listened to our own kids earlier. It is absolutely true that if you don't hear him now, you'll hear him later.

Rule # 3 - You can find a way. Raising an xg kid can be incredibly difficult, but you have what it takes. Sometimes, it seems like the whole world is set up specifically to thwart you. In some ways, it is. It will likely keep you up nights, worrying about everything you've done and will do for him. You'll hit brick walls - you'll think there's no way through. Every solution will be temporary, and sometimes you'll run out of ideas, or money or both. But just remember, there are always options - as long as you're willing to look outside the typical frameworks. You'll probably have to employ a little of Leta Hollingworth's "benign chicanery" along the route. But you will find a way. There are many different solutions - most will be a struggle, and it's impossible to get it 100% right. But, in the end, many things can work, if you respect the underlying assumption of who your son truly is. Never give up.

Rule # 4 - Indeed - let him be a kid - the kid he IS. "Being a kid" doesn't mean you are crammed into someone else's rigid model. It means you are free to learn and grow. It means you're loved, cherished and protected from harm, whether that harm comes from physical dangers or from ignorant, self-interested school administrators, defensive friends or jealous neighbors. It means that your basic needs are met, that your joy is valued, that your individuality is guarded. Your worries are kept small, your responsibilities kept manageable. It means that you have someone who will never give up on you - someone who will guide you, teach you, keep the flame burning in your heart as they lead you towards becoming a healthy, happy adult. Enjoy him as a kid, too. As you let him be a kid, you "be a Mom". Revel in the beauty of the world through his eyes, run through the sprinklers, cuddle him when he's afraid, tuck him into bed and read him a story he loves - even if it's one of Feynman's lectures. People tell you to "just let him be a kid", tell them simply - that's exactly what you're doing, thanks.

As I said, your mileage may vary, but these have been some awfully hard-won truths for us.

With all due respect, the problem with OP's attitude is that her daughter is TWO. She is not "gifted" - perhaps she will be when she gets older, but maybe she won't. Who knows? Her TWO YEAR old is an early talker and very communicative. Great. But she also sounds like she has gross motor skills issues and social problems. Let's not pretend we are talking about an elementary aged school kid, okay? There really is no such thing as a gifted two year old.

OP here. I appreciate the link, but yeah, we are not there. DD is precocious. I though that was the right word to use. She speaks like a five year old. Her syntax and vocabulary are advanced and she also loves to learn facts and can easily memorize them. For example, she knows at least half of the presidents and can tell you a couple simple facts about each one. We don't drill her. We don;t videotape her. I have never shared this with my friends. It is just one of her many interests. She is also like this about continents, states, animals, planets, and car models of all things.

She is also starting to sound out words, which I have to say is scary. But none of this is shared with other parents. They jsut see her verbal ability. We cannot hide that.

Her gross motor skills are fine. And, I would not call her social issues problems yet. Like you said, She is 2.

OP, perhaps your daughter can put her amazing skills to use by teaching you the difference between their, there, and they're.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh. Agree with PP -- terrific that you have an "advanced" daughter. But trust me, no one else cares -- that's why they aren't talking to you about it.

Milestones are really only a big deal to parents (and grandparents).

This is completely on point -- I agree.

I also agree with the other PP who suggested that you join a mixed age playgroup. It might be less stressful for you, and if your daughter is indeed precocious, she might enjoy it, too.

[Anonymous]

This thread has been very instructive in the sense that it's made me examine the ways in which my pride and joy in my daughter--who is constantly surprising me with her precociousness--might cause me to act in such a way as to appear to be a total douchebag to my peers.

Must keep an eye on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://dooverdecade.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/nurture-shock-chapter-5/

"The authors do make a compelling case for the flaws in the GT/private school admissions process:

o many schools/districts test children prior to or in kindergarten, and this test determines whether or not children qualify for Gifted and Talented programs or are admitted to private schools

Children shouldn't be tested this young unless there is a compelling need....meaning the child's needs aren't being met and testing might help figure out how to accomodate a child. There should be global testing around 7 years old to identify and accomodate those children who slipped through the cracks in earlier years.

o by the third grade, only 27 out of 100 children identified as GT in kindergarten would still “deserve” the label (according to achievement tests)

Achievement testing and IQ testing are completely different animals. Sadly many gifted kids are not identified and accomdated (this is especially the case for minority and improvished children.) A child who is not meeting their potential will surely have a desrecpancy between IQ and achievement in later years.
o some schools never test children again, so kids in the GT program are there for life, and kids who should be in the program (those 73 children who didn’t get spots in kindergarten) aren’t

o the creators of IQ tests do not follow up to see if the tests accurately predicted who would be successful in school (adacemic researchers do, and they’ve found that IQ tests have only a 40% correlation with later achievement test results)

See explanation above about descrepancy between IQ and achievement.

o intelligence is fluid; young kids’ brains “just aren’t done yet” and you simply cannot determine who is gifted and talented for sure while their brains are still developing
True

o IQ tests given in middle school are good indicators of academic success in high school

Not sure about this one but I suppose.
"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has been very instructive in the sense that it's made me examine the ways in which my pride and joy in my daughter--who is constantly surprising me with her precociousness--might cause me to act in such a way as to appear to be a total douchebag to my peers.

Must keep an eye on this.

Hee hee.

I love my daughter like crazy! (Might I also be a douchebag? What's the sloshing sound I hear? )

[Anonymous]

OP - I've noticed that you've either dismissed or ignored the posters who have posted responses that identify with your experience or offer insight having been there themselves. Do you know why that is?

You may want to think about your own biases and try to be open to the possibility of what your child's differences really mean in the grand scheme of things. You gave the impression of not being comfortable with labeling which is fine of course because your daughter is far too young for formal identification but honestly as a parent who has been there.....the writing is on the wall. Please read as much as you can and try not to dismiss what your daughter "is" in an effort to be humble. When she is older she will be very aware of these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has been very instructive in the sense that it's made me examine the ways in which my pride and joy in my daughter--who is constantly surprising me with her precociousness--might cause me to act in such a way as to appear to be a total douchebag to my peers.

Must keep an eye on this.

Just from this contribution to the conversation, I can tell you that ship has sailed.

[Anonymous]

What's so seriously hilarious about the OP as I just read through 5 pages of comments (yes, it's been a long day and I need a little comic relief) is how much she chimed back in just sooooooo wanting to impress everyone. So this is either so fake or so funny. Either of which made me laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate the link, but yeah, we are not there. DD is precocious. I though that was the right word to use. She speaks like a five year old. Her syntax and vocabulary are advanced and she also loves to learn facts and can easily memorize them. For example, she knows at least half of the presidents and can tell you a couple simple facts about each one. We don't drill her. We don;t videotape her. I have never shared this with my friends. It is just one of her many interests. She is also like this about continents, states, animals, planets, and car models of all things.

She is also starting to sound out words, which I have to say is scary. But none of this is shared with other parents. They jsut see her verbal ability. We cannot hide that.

Her gross motor skills are fine. And, I would not call her social issues problems yet. Like you said, She is 2.

I honestly can relate to you. My two and a half year old son knew all the presidents in order and when you said a world capital he would follow with the country name. He was a verbal sponge. I considered it a parlor trick (which I shared with grandparents and aunts). Anyway, not that my son is not bright, but I will say that early development does not mean they'll keep that pace forever. My son is a verbal 12 year old, who gets pretty good grades in a good school. That's about it. And he was early for everything at the playgroup stage, just as you described with your DD.

I think it's best not to even pay attention to it. In the end, what is to gain by these comparisons? My son was verbally brilliant, and now they all look about the same. It really is unimportant. Even if it carries through and your daughter is super advanced, that only means you need to try to make sure she builds contentment with friends for other reasons.