DD's precocious development driving a wedge between my mommy friends

[Anonymous]

So it took OP 10 pages to become self aware. And by self aware, she means realizing the problem is the other moms might be thinking like snarky DCUM posters. mmmKay.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I agree with Adequate Parent. The problem sounds like it's OP.

I brag quite a bit on my friends' incredibly bright children, because I love them and I'm proud of them and my friends are humble. I would not brag about them nearly as much if it was an acquaintance who seemed to be doing plenty of bragging on her own, and expecting others to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^
Hit it square on the head.

Oh please.....it's misguided and ignorant. I hope OP chooses to ignore it. I can't believe she put her screen name on that crap.

OK, enlighten us all and tell us what you think OP learned from this thread. I mean besides what she already thought before she started it?

I'm surprised that nobody asked OP about other things she could be doing to drive the playgroup moms away, besides jealousy of her daughter. Does OP interrupt conversations or talk too much about herself? Does she wear flashy, super-tight clothes? Is she a Palin fan in a group of dems? Does she, in lieu of talking about her daughter, instead talk about her fabulous car, house, vacations? Can she hold her own in a discussion of politics or literature?

[Anonymous]

Hmm, I wonder if this is all just a matter of some of you not being exposed to extremely precocious children. My two boys are quite bright, but there was one time during DS1's toddler years I witnessed a not-yet-turned-two-year-old speaking in paragraphs at a kindermusik session. I remember one other mom asked the mother how old the little girl was, and when she said 19 months, the room went silent, and nobody mentioned anything about her again. I did feel like there were twangs of resentment in the room. This little girl was amazing, but all I wanted to do was try to ignore it. It did start to annoy me. So, did the mom, but not for any of the reasons that the OP has been accused of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: It did start to annoy me. So, did the mom, but not for any of the reasons that the OP has been accused of.

Again, maybe OP's problems with the other moms has absolutely nothing to do with their jealousy of her daughter. Maybe she has no idea that she's difficult to get along with. Maybe she suspects she lacks social skills, but needs a way to blame it on the other moms' shortcomings, their alleged jealousy.

I'm not saying we can know this for sure. But we certainly can't rule it out.

[Anonymous]

"This little girl was amazing, but all I wanted to do was try to ignore it. It did start to annoy me."

Wow, wish I had friends like you. I doesn't sound like exposure to a extremely precocious child did much to enlighten you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It did start to annoy me. So, did the mom, but not for any of the reasons that the OP has been accused of.

Again, maybe OP's problems with the other moms has absolutely nothing to do with their jealousy of her daughter. Maybe she has no idea that she's difficult to get along with. Maybe she suspects she lacks social skills, but needs a way to blame it on the other moms' shortcomings, their alleged jealousy.

I'm not saying we can know this for sure. But we certainly can't rule it out.

I will try to clarify for OP's sake. I don't think the mom was doing anything wrong. She beamed at her daughter and looked around at our reactions. This was enough for me to be like "get over yourself." At one point she did make the comment that there was a "wide range of normal." Nice, but I almost would have rather her said, "yeah, my DD is something special."

Oh, please know I was also raging with pregnancy induced hormones at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm, I wonder if this is all just a matter of some of you not being exposed to extremely precocious children. My two boys are quite bright, but there was one time during DS1's toddler years I witnessed a not-yet-turned-two-year-old speaking in paragraphs at a kindermusik session. I remember one other mom asked the mother how old the little girl was, and when she said 19 months, the room went silent, and nobody mentioned anything about her again. I did feel like there were twangs of resentment in the room. This little girl was amazing, but all I wanted to do was try to ignore it. It did start to annoy me. So, did the mom, but not for any of the reasons that the OP has been accused of.

I had an extremely precocious 2-year old. I won't go into the details, but a subsequent IQ test at age 8, for private school entrance, confirmed it. It never occurred to me to expect other moms to compliment me on his brilliance, nor did I assume they were jealous if they didn't compliment me. All of us were more concerned about the kids' social skills and how these were developing. Plus kids differ in whether they are shy or outgoing, happy or sad-seeming, or biters. There's simply too much variability on so many different factors, to make intelligence into a kid's single defining trait.

Somebody here keeps saying that we "don't understand" because "we have never met precocious 2-year-olds.". Please stop saying this. You're wrong. We simply don't agree that the world owes us kudos for producing this wunderkind, or that intelligence is a child's only defining characteristic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm, I wonder if this is all just a matter of some of you not being exposed to extremely precocious children. My two boys are quite bright, but there was one time during DS1's toddler years I witnessed a not-yet-turned-two-year-old speaking in paragraphs at a kindermusik session. I remember one other mom asked the mother how old the little girl was, and when she said 19 months, the room went silent, and nobody mentioned anything about her again. I did feel like there were twangs of resentment in the room. This little girl was amazing, but all I wanted to do was try to ignore it. It did start to annoy me. So, did the mom, but not for any of the reasons that the OP has been accused of.

I had an extremely precocious 2-year old. I won't go into the details, but a subsequent IQ test at age 8, for private school entrance, confirmed it. It never occurred to me to expect other moms to compliment me on his brilliance, nor did I assume they were jealous if they didn't compliment me. All of us were more concerned about the kids' social skills and how these were developing. Plus kids differ in whether they are shy or outgoing, happy or sad-seeming, or biters. There's simply too much variability on so many different factors, to make intelligence into a kid's single defining trait.

Somebody here keeps saying that we "don't understand" because "we have never met precocious 2-year-olds.". Please stop saying this. You're wrong. We simply don't agree that the world owes us kudos for producing this wunderkind, or that intelligence is a child's only defining characteristic.

Would you mind referencing the posts where people stated, "we don't understand". I think you are imagining it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^
Hit it square on the head.

Oh please.....it's misguided and ignorant. I hope OP chooses to ignore it. I can't believe she put her screen name on that crap.

OK, enlighten us all and tell us what you think OP learned from this thread. I mean besides what she already thought before she started it?

I'm surprised that nobody asked OP about other things she could be doing to drive the playgroup moms away, besides jealousy of her daughter. Does OP interrupt conversations or talk too much about herself? Does she wear flashy, super-tight clothes? Is she a Palin fan in a group of dems? Does she, in lieu of talking about her daughter, instead talk about her fabulous car, house, vacations? Can she hold her own in a discussion of politics or literature?

Sorry....enlightening you is impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I had an extremely precocious 2-year old. I won't go into the details, but a subsequent IQ test at age 8, for private school entrance, confirmed it. It never occurred to me to expect other moms to compliment me on his brilliance, nor did I assume they were jealous if they didn't compliment me. All of us were more concerned about the kids' social skills and how these were developing. Plus kids differ in whether they are shy or outgoing, happy or sad-seeming, or biters. There's simply too much variability on so many different factors, to make intelligence into a kid's single defining trait.

Somebody here keeps saying that we "don't understand" because "we have never met precocious 2-year-olds.". Please stop saying this. You're wrong. We simply don't agree that the world owes us kudos for producing this wunderkind, or that intelligence is a child's only defining characteristic.

You only replied to this thread to brag about your DS.

[Anonymous]

14:50's first sentence, for one example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:50's first sentence, for one example.

This was a response to 14:57.

[Anonymous]

Oh dear, the high schoolers have invaded the thread. At least I hope 15:38 and 15:40 are high schoolers and not actual adults...

[Anonymous]

I am the mom with the kindermusik story. I wrote just the two posts. I can't tell who is arguing with who anymore, so I'm out. (I am not gifted. I am a succesful, happy, former attorney, but never gifted.) I just wanted to add my 2 cents with a true story.