DD's precocious development driving a wedge between my mommy friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if this is a joke, you may not realize but it's a hurtful one. For those of us raising kids with Asperger's your exaggerated description of advanced development is exactly what we experienced only to learn later that such "precociousness" was actually part of a disorder. So if this is a farce, and I suspect it is as that's how DCUM trends these days, please try to realize that your post reaches a varied body of readers some of whom may be sensitive to your parody.

OP here.

DD is very different. I don't know why this would offend you. If anything, I would hope for some commiseration, as it seems you would understand what it is like to have an 18 month old recognize all the letters and sounds and peak in long sentences. We are not unaware of how DD fits many descriptions of young ASD children. She is obsessed with learning facts.

Honestly, you can stop asking if this is a joke. That is hurting my feelings. I don't know if you are in disbelief of my DD's differences or my genuine feelings on the subject as it affects my freindship. Either way it leaves me more confused than before I posted.

Does your daughter have any noise sensitivity? Particular anxieties? Favor a special color or character? If this post is for real you should worry less about a playgroup and more about a developmental evaluation. Seriously.

Actually sensitivities or overexcitabilities are common and completely NORMAL in young, gifted children. After a ton of worrying about our gifted child the psychologist and dev pedi confirmed that he is completely normal for a gifted kid. They can also be emotionally very sensitive. My little guy was moved to tears when he listened to Bach or Beethoven a little after his first birthday....we have to be very gentle with his feelings.

I'm the PP who wrote that post. I'm the mom of an Aspie and was relaying the early warning signs that we missed as our daughter was very similar to OP's at 18 months and 2 years, that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, please don't listen to the rude and unfortunate comments. The reactions you are receiving here are sadly part of being a parent of a gifted kid.

Here is something I've taken from Hoagies Gifted website. It's an excellent resource and it sounds like you'll need all the guidance you can with your little one's unique needs.

Hard Won Truths
by Juliet Thomas
It's really hard to go against everything you've grown up to believe - schools always know what's best for kids, they have their best interests at heart, 7 year olds belong in 1st grade... etc. But with a PGlet (editor's note: fond name for our pg children) child, you've landed at an alternative destination, and the historical assumptions don't work here.

Here's four rules-to-live-by that we've learned the hard way - your mileage may vary, but they might help you, too:

Rule # 1 - Keep quiet. With immediate effect, stop discussing your decisions regarding your son with anyone besides your husband. That includes family, friends, neighbors, clergy, everyone. If you find people who are helpful and supportive (even if they don't always agree), you can selectively add them back in, but do so cautiously. Their reaction to your decisions will rarely be purely based on you and your son, and will much more likely be mired in their own "stuff". People have a huge set of their own biases, their own history and their own motivations. People often seem to feel quite defensive - if you're doing this for your son, maybe they didn't do enough for theirs, etc. Or, maybe they'd hate to admit that cousin Jimmy really IS that much smarter than their kid. Whatever their issues, you have a big enough challenge ahead of you - plowing through other people's "stuff" is extra drag you don't need. When people ask what you're doing - just say you're trying your best to accommodate his "special needs". You can even throw in something about taking his counselor's advice! Don't give details about the calculus he's doing when he's 8, simply tell them "he's really happy and things are going well - thanks!" Come here to celebrate specific successes - we understand and celebrate well.

Rule # 2 - Trust yourself and your kid. No one knows your son better than you and your husband. There are certainly a few select experts in xg (editor's note: highly, exceptionally or profoundly gifted) kids that can give you advice, there are a few great websites like Hoagies and Uniquely Gifted (www.uniquelygifted.org) to guide you to helpful resources and there are other families who have been through similar things, but no one knows him better than you do. Furthermore, and more importantly, no one cares about him more. When your "mommy radar" is going off - something's wrong - don't let anyone else tell you differently. I truly, truly, truly know how difficult it is to shut out the ever-present noise, telling you to stop worrying, stop "pushing", stop whatever you're doing that makes them uncomfortable. Shut out that noise, but listen to your son. You'll know when you're on the right track by watching and hearing him. Many of us on this list, including me, wish we had listened to our own kids earlier. It is absolutely true that if you don't hear him now, you'll hear him later.

Rule # 3 - You can find a way. Raising an xg kid can be incredibly difficult, but you have what it takes. Sometimes, it seems like the whole world is set up specifically to thwart you. In some ways, it is. It will likely keep you up nights, worrying about everything you've done and will do for him. You'll hit brick walls - you'll think there's no way through. Every solution will be temporary, and sometimes you'll run out of ideas, or money or both. But just remember, there are always options - as long as you're willing to look outside the typical frameworks. You'll probably have to employ a little of Leta Hollingworth's "benign chicanery" along the route. But you will find a way. There are many different solutions - most will be a struggle, and it's impossible to get it 100% right. But, in the end, many things can work, if you respect the underlying assumption of who your son truly is. Never give up.

Rule # 4 - Indeed - let him be a kid - the kid he IS. "Being a kid" doesn't mean you are crammed into someone else's rigid model. It means you are free to learn and grow. It means you're loved, cherished and protected from harm, whether that harm comes from physical dangers or from ignorant, self-interested school administrators, defensive friends or jealous neighbors. It means that your basic needs are met, that your joy is valued, that your individuality is guarded. Your worries are kept small, your responsibilities kept manageable. It means that you have someone who will never give up on you - someone who will guide you, teach you, keep the flame burning in your heart as they lead you towards becoming a healthy, happy adult. Enjoy him as a kid, too. As you let him be a kid, you "be a Mom". Revel in the beauty of the world through his eyes, run through the sprinklers, cuddle him when he's afraid, tuck him into bed and read him a story he loves - even if it's one of Feynman's lectures. People tell you to "just let him be a kid", tell them simply - that's exactly what you're doing, thanks.

As I said, your mileage may vary, but these have been some awfully hard-won truths for us.

With all due respect, the problem with OP's attitude is that her daughter is TWO. She is not "gifted" - perhaps she will be when she gets older, but maybe she won't. Who knows? Her TWO YEAR old is an early talker and very communicative. Great. But she also sounds like she has gross motor skills issues and social problems. Let's not pretend we are talking about an elementary aged school kid, okay? There really is no such thing as a gifted two year old.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a child (a boy) who is very precocious and very verbal. Full sentences by 15 months, paragraphs by 18 months. Fascinated by history by age 2. Negative and square numbers by 3. Etc., etc., etc.

The thing is, it was never an issue in his playgroup, with my mom friends, or at preschool. Everyone knows he is very bright, but I didn't make a big deal of it, and neither did they. The commonalities are much bigger than the differences. So yes, maybe you stumbled across an odd group of insecure moms who feel their children are somehow inferior, but maybe you are somehow sending out messages that are off-putting.

Honestly, I've never gotten this "but gifted kids are so different..." stuff. Yes, they are, they are very different from each other. Some are intense and some are laid-back. Some are analytic and some are observers. Some are sarcastic and some prefer slapstick. In fact, if you look at research on cognitive testing, the variability between different abilities is higher at the upper end of the scale - so maybe the commonality is in how different they are. So take your daughter for who she is, strengths and weaknesses, and take the other kids for who they are, strengths and weaknesses.

[Anonymous]

Here is another good article on sensitivities of the gifted....

http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Cronin_AsychnronousDevelopmentandSIIntervention.shtml

[Anonymous]

OP, if you don't get how your post was obnoxious nothing can help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a video on youtube few years ago with little girl who couldn't have been much older than two. She was sitting in front of a map of the world, and her father would point to a country at random. The little girl would pipe up, "France!" or "Bolivia!" My MIL sent it to me with some comment about how great it was, but it almost made me cry. All I could think of was the amount time those parents spent drilling this parlour trick into her head--time that could've been spent on some developmentally appropriate activity--and how her brain would probably never get the chance to develop organically, but rather would be straight-jacketed by these miswired neural connections for the rest of her life.

Got a lot of views on YouTube, though!!!

Children of a certain age often gravitate toward accumulating "declarative" knowledge, and some kids do this very, very early. So what I'm trying to say is that some children actually enjoy these (tedious) activities! If they don't, well, my experience is that they have this nifty way of defying parents' attempts to press it on them (e.g., "going boneless," whining, turning away, and so on). I'm not saying that all children should or even can do things like memorize 200 countries -- but if little Suzie or little Osvaldo is attracted to learning evey single dinosaur or maps of the world or two- and three-dimensional puzzles, well, why not encourage them? Next month or even next year they might be into something else. Like princesses. Or transformers. Heh.

I see my neighbor's daughter at age 2 was very captivated by those phonics "teach your baby to read" activities. My daughter, not so much, but she loved story time. A friend's son liked taking things apart. Her daughter recognized some sight words very early. My daughter could articulate hysterically big words and long sentences. He could use a screwdriver and wrench like nobody's business (keep your toaster out of reach ). They all knew how to tantrum and be annoying, on occasion, too. Eh, whatever. They're happy kids and like playing together. And we mummies think each kid is so dang funny and entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, please don't listen to the rude and unfortunate comments. The reactions you are receiving here are sadly part of being a parent of a gifted kid.

Here is something I've taken from Hoagies Gifted website. It's an excellent resource and it sounds like you'll need all the guidance you can with your little one's unique needs.

Hard Won Truths
by Juliet Thomas
It's really hard to go against everything you've grown up to believe - schools always know what's best for kids, they have their best interests at heart, 7 year olds belong in 1st grade... etc. But with a PGlet (editor's note: fond name for our pg children) child, you've landed at an alternative destination, and the historical assumptions don't work here.

Here's four rules-to-live-by that we've learned the hard way - your mileage may vary, but they might help you, too:

Rule # 1 - Keep quiet. With immediate effect, stop discussing your decisions regarding your son with anyone besides your husband. That includes family, friends, neighbors, clergy, everyone. If you find people who are helpful and supportive (even if they don't always agree), you can selectively add them back in, but do so cautiously. Their reaction to your decisions will rarely be purely based on you and your son, and will much more likely be mired in their own "stuff". People have a huge set of their own biases, their own history and their own motivations. People often seem to feel quite defensive - if you're doing this for your son, maybe they didn't do enough for theirs, etc. Or, maybe they'd hate to admit that cousin Jimmy really IS that much smarter than their kid. Whatever their issues, you have a big enough challenge ahead of you - plowing through other people's "stuff" is extra drag you don't need. When people ask what you're doing - just say you're trying your best to accommodate his "special needs". You can even throw in something about taking his counselor's advice! Don't give details about the calculus he's doing when he's 8, simply tell them "he's really happy and things are going well - thanks!" Come here to celebrate specific successes - we understand and celebrate well.

Rule # 2 - Trust yourself and your kid. No one knows your son better than you and your husband. There are certainly a few select experts in xg (editor's note: highly, exceptionally or profoundly gifted) kids that can give you advice, there are a few great websites like Hoagies and Uniquely Gifted (www.uniquelygifted.org) to guide you to helpful resources and there are other families who have been through similar things, but no one knows him better than you do. Furthermore, and more importantly, no one cares about him more. When your "mommy radar" is going off - something's wrong - don't let anyone else tell you differently. I truly, truly, truly know how difficult it is to shut out the ever-present noise, telling you to stop worrying, stop "pushing", stop whatever you're doing that makes them uncomfortable. Shut out that noise, but listen to your son. You'll know when you're on the right track by watching and hearing him. Many of us on this list, including me, wish we had listened to our own kids earlier. It is absolutely true that if you don't hear him now, you'll hear him later.

Rule # 3 - You can find a way. Raising an xg kid can be incredibly difficult, but you have what it takes. Sometimes, it seems like the whole world is set up specifically to thwart you. In some ways, it is. It will likely keep you up nights, worrying about everything you've done and will do for him. You'll hit brick walls - you'll think there's no way through. Every solution will be temporary, and sometimes you'll run out of ideas, or money or both. But just remember, there are always options - as long as you're willing to look outside the typical frameworks. You'll probably have to employ a little of Leta Hollingworth's "benign chicanery" along the route. But you will find a way. There are many different solutions - most will be a struggle, and it's impossible to get it 100% right. But, in the end, many things can work, if you respect the underlying assumption of who your son truly is. Never give up.

Rule # 4 - Indeed - let him be a kid - the kid he IS. "Being a kid" doesn't mean you are crammed into someone else's rigid model. It means you are free to learn and grow. It means you're loved, cherished and protected from harm, whether that harm comes from physical dangers or from ignorant, self-interested school administrators, defensive friends or jealous neighbors. It means that your basic needs are met, that your joy is valued, that your individuality is guarded. Your worries are kept small, your responsibilities kept manageable. It means that you have someone who will never give up on you - someone who will guide you, teach you, keep the flame burning in your heart as they lead you towards becoming a healthy, happy adult. Enjoy him as a kid, too. As you let him be a kid, you "be a Mom". Revel in the beauty of the world through his eyes, run through the sprinklers, cuddle him when he's afraid, tuck him into bed and read him a story he loves - even if it's one of Feynman's lectures. People tell you to "just let him be a kid", tell them simply - that's exactly what you're doing, thanks.

As I said, your mileage may vary, but these have been some awfully hard-won truths for us.

With all due respect, the problem with OP's attitude is that her daughter is TWO. She is not "gifted" - perhaps she will be when she gets older, but maybe she won't. Who knows? Her TWO YEAR old is an early talker and very communicative. Great. But she also sounds like she has gross motor skills issues and social problems. Let's not pretend we are talking about an elementary aged school kid, okay? There really is no such thing as a gifted two year old.

Actually a gifted elementary school aged child was once a gifted two year old and will one day be a gifted adult. It's not something you grow into or out of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, please don't listen to the rude and unfortunate comments. The reactions you are receiving here are sadly part of being a parent of a gifted kid.

Here is something I've taken from Hoagies Gifted website. It's an excellent resource and it sounds like you'll need all the guidance you can with your little one's unique needs.

Hard Won Truths
by Juliet Thomas
It's really hard to go against everything you've grown up to believe - schools always know what's best for kids, they have their best interests at heart, 7 year olds belong in 1st grade... etc. But with a PGlet (editor's note: fond name for our pg children) child, you've landed at an alternative destination, and the historical assumptions don't work here.

Here's four rules-to-live-by that we've learned the hard way - your mileage may vary, but they might help you, too:

Rule # 1 - Keep quiet. With immediate effect, stop discussing your decisions regarding your son with anyone besides your husband. That includes family, friends, neighbors, clergy, everyone. If you find people who are helpful and supportive (even if they don't always agree), you can selectively add them back in, but do so cautiously. Their reaction to your decisions will rarely be purely based on you and your son, and will much more likely be mired in their own "stuff". People have a huge set of their own biases, their own history and their own motivations. People often seem to feel quite defensive - if you're doing this for your son, maybe they didn't do enough for theirs, etc. Or, maybe they'd hate to admit that cousin Jimmy really IS that much smarter than their kid. Whatever their issues, you have a big enough challenge ahead of you - plowing through other people's "stuff" is extra drag you don't need. When people ask what you're doing - just say you're trying your best to accommodate his "special needs". You can even throw in something about taking his counselor's advice! Don't give details about the calculus he's doing when he's 8, simply tell them "he's really happy and things are going well - thanks!" Come here to celebrate specific successes - we understand and celebrate well.

Rule # 2 - Trust yourself and your kid. No one knows your son better than you and your husband. There are certainly a few select experts in xg (editor's note: highly, exceptionally or profoundly gifted) kids that can give you advice, there are a few great websites like Hoagies and Uniquely Gifted (www.uniquelygifted.org) to guide you to helpful resources and there are other families who have been through similar things, but no one knows him better than you do. Furthermore, and more importantly, no one cares about him more. When your "mommy radar" is going off - something's wrong - don't let anyone else tell you differently. I truly, truly, truly know how difficult it is to shut out the ever-present noise, telling you to stop worrying, stop "pushing", stop whatever you're doing that makes them uncomfortable. Shut out that noise, but listen to your son. You'll know when you're on the right track by watching and hearing him. Many of us on this list, including me, wish we had listened to our own kids earlier. It is absolutely true that if you don't hear him now, you'll hear him later.

Rule # 3 - You can find a way. Raising an xg kid can be incredibly difficult, but you have what it takes. Sometimes, it seems like the whole world is set up specifically to thwart you. In some ways, it is. It will likely keep you up nights, worrying about everything you've done and will do for him. You'll hit brick walls - you'll think there's no way through. Every solution will be temporary, and sometimes you'll run out of ideas, or money or both. But just remember, there are always options - as long as you're willing to look outside the typical frameworks. You'll probably have to employ a little of Leta Hollingworth's "benign chicanery" along the route. But you will find a way. There are many different solutions - most will be a struggle, and it's impossible to get it 100% right. But, in the end, many things can work, if you respect the underlying assumption of who your son truly is. Never give up.

Rule # 4 - Indeed - let him be a kid - the kid he IS. "Being a kid" doesn't mean you are crammed into someone else's rigid model. It means you are free to learn and grow. It means you're loved, cherished and protected from harm, whether that harm comes from physical dangers or from ignorant, self-interested school administrators, defensive friends or jealous neighbors. It means that your basic needs are met, that your joy is valued, that your individuality is guarded. Your worries are kept small, your responsibilities kept manageable. It means that you have someone who will never give up on you - someone who will guide you, teach you, keep the flame burning in your heart as they lead you towards becoming a healthy, happy adult. Enjoy him as a kid, too. As you let him be a kid, you "be a Mom". Revel in the beauty of the world through his eyes, run through the sprinklers, cuddle him when he's afraid, tuck him into bed and read him a story he loves - even if it's one of Feynman's lectures. People tell you to "just let him be a kid", tell them simply - that's exactly what you're doing, thanks.

As I said, your mileage may vary, but these have been some awfully hard-won truths for us.

With all due respect, the problem with OP's attitude is that her daughter is TWO. She is not "gifted" - perhaps she will be when she gets older, but maybe she won't. Who knows? Her TWO YEAR old is an early talker and very communicative. Great. But she also sounds like she has gross motor skills issues and social problems. Let's not pretend we are talking about an elementary aged school kid, okay? There really is no such thing as a gifted two year old.

OP here. I appreciate the link, but yeah, we are not there. DD is precocious. I though that was the right word to use. She speaks like a five year old. Her syntax and vocabulary are advanced and she also loves to learn facts and can easily memorize them. For example, she knows at least half of the presidents and can tell you a couple simple facts about each one. We don't drill her. We don;t videotape her. I have never shared this with my friends. It is just one of her many interests. She is also like this about continents, states, animals, planets, and car models of all things.

She is also starting to sound out words, which I have to say is scary. But none of this is shared with other parents. They jsut see her verbal ability. We cannot hide that.

Her gross motor skills are fine. And, I would not call her social issues problems yet. Like you said, She is 2.

[Anonymous]

OP, I haven't read all of the responses, so pardon any redundancy.

You're obviously hyperaware (naturally) of your child's advanced development. Could it be that you're projecting that hyerawareness onto your friends? I may notice a something about a friend's child but then will usually just forget about it or not pay much attention. Are you sure your perceptions about shunning are correct?

[Anonymous]

OP you sound like a nice mom with an interesting child. I think folks articulating some nasty things about your being "obviously" overbearing or bringing this on yourself are projecting their own experiences and insecurities on you. You've already articulated an interest in doing what's best for your own child and even your own adult friends, and you've chosen words that make you seem humble and open to useful information.

Honestly, I think that the suggestions to find easy-going parents, to find a social group that focuses on promoting the social (rather than the academic) cohesiveness of the kiddies, and just enjoying your own kid (attending to her strengths as well as her more fragile areas of development) are the way to go.

As you've already mentioned, maybe your child is "gifted" or "precocious" or whatever, and you don't seem to be too hung up on terminology at this point -- which is good. I think you've got the right idea: happiness and social adjustments are important to you and to your child. Find your niche! It doesn't sound like you're overbearing or a mommy-monster, so this niche won't be too hard to find, I bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I haven't read all of the responses, so pardon any redundancy.

You're obviously hyperaware (naturally) of your child's advanced development. Could it be that you're projecting that hyerawareness onto your friends? I may notice a something about a friend's child but then will usually just forget about it or not pay much attention. Are you sure your perceptions about shunning are correct?

Yes, I do think I must be hyperaware.

Someone mentioned above how the women in their playgroup would react to DD and that is something that I want to strive for. Not just for my DD but for all the kids in the group setting. I think I will let this group of moms go. I know a couple will remain freinds, but it does seem time to move on for everyone. I think it is a dawn of a new age for DD and me. we don't need this playgroup anymore.

Thanks for the help. Time to make dinner.

[Anonymous]

God, what a pretentious bore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound like a nice mom with an interesting child. I think folks articulating some nasty things about your being "obviously" overbearing or bringing this on yourself are projecting their own experiences and insecurities on you. You've already articulated an interest in doing what's best for your own child and even your own adult friends, and you've chosen words that make you seem humble and open to useful information.

Honestly, I think that the suggestions to find easy-going parents, to find a social group that focuses on promoting the social (rather than the academic) cohesiveness of the kiddies, and just enjoying your own kid (attending to her strengths as well as her more fragile areas of development) are the way to go.

As you've already mentioned, maybe your child is "gifted" or "precocious" or whatever, and you don't seem to be too hung up on terminology at this point -- which is good. I think you've got the right idea: happiness and social adjustments are important to you and to your child. Find your niche! It doesn't sound like you're overbearing or a mommy-monster, so this niche won't be too hard to find, I bet.

Thanks. Can I have your number? lol j/k. ~OP

[Anonymous]

What the fock are "baby signs"? And who gives a shit?

Smells like another fake coming down the pike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, please don't listen to the rude and unfortunate comments. The reactions you are receiving here are sadly part of being a parent of a gifted kid.

Here is something I've taken from Hoagies Gifted website. It's an excellent resource and it sounds like you'll need all the guidance you can with your little one's unique needs.

Hard Won Truths
by Juliet Thomas
It's really hard to go against everything you've grown up to believe - schools always know what's best for kids, they have their best interests at heart, 7 year olds belong in 1st grade... etc. But with a PGlet (editor's note: fond name for our pg children) child, you've landed at an alternative destination, and the historical assumptions don't work here.

Here's four rules-to-live-by that we've learned the hard way - your mileage may vary, but they might help you, too:

Rule # 1 - Keep quiet. With immediate effect, stop discussing your decisions regarding your son with anyone besides your husband. That includes family, friends, neighbors, clergy, everyone. If you find people who are helpful and supportive (even if they don't always agree), you can selectively add them back in, but do so cautiously. Their reaction to your decisions will rarely be purely based on you and your son, and will much more likely be mired in their own "stuff". People have a huge set of their own biases, their own history and their own motivations. People often seem to feel quite defensive - if you're doing this for your son, maybe they didn't do enough for theirs, etc. Or, maybe they'd hate to admit that cousin Jimmy really IS that much smarter than their kid. Whatever their issues, you have a big enough challenge ahead of you - plowing through other people's "stuff" is extra drag you don't need. When people ask what you're doing - just say you're trying your best to accommodate his "special needs". You can even throw in something about taking his counselor's advice! Don't give details about the calculus he's doing when he's 8, simply tell them "he's really happy and things are going well - thanks!" Come here to celebrate specific successes - we understand and celebrate well.

Rule # 2 - Trust yourself and your kid. No one knows your son better than you and your husband. There are certainly a few select experts in xg (editor's note: highly, exceptionally or profoundly gifted) kids that can give you advice, there are a few great websites like Hoagies and Uniquely Gifted (www.uniquelygifted.org) to guide you to helpful resources and there are other families who have been through similar things, but no one knows him better than you do. Furthermore, and more importantly, no one cares about him more. When your "mommy radar" is going off - something's wrong - don't let anyone else tell you differently. I truly, truly, truly know how difficult it is to shut out the ever-present noise, telling you to stop worrying, stop "pushing", stop whatever you're doing that makes them uncomfortable. Shut out that noise, but listen to your son. You'll know when you're on the right track by watching and hearing him. Many of us on this list, including me, wish we had listened to our own kids earlier. It is absolutely true that if you don't hear him now, you'll hear him later.

Rule # 3 - You can find a way. Raising an xg kid can be incredibly difficult, but you have what it takes. Sometimes, it seems like the whole world is set up specifically to thwart you. In some ways, it is. It will likely keep you up nights, worrying about everything you've done and will do for him. You'll hit brick walls - you'll think there's no way through. Every solution will be temporary, and sometimes you'll run out of ideas, or money or both. But just remember, there are always options - as long as you're willing to look outside the typical frameworks. You'll probably have to employ a little of Leta Hollingworth's "benign chicanery" along the route. But you will find a way. There are many different solutions - most will be a struggle, and it's impossible to get it 100% right. But, in the end, many things can work, if you respect the underlying assumption of who your son truly is. Never give up.

Rule # 4 - Indeed - let him be a kid - the kid he IS. "Being a kid" doesn't mean you are crammed into someone else's rigid model. It means you are free to learn and grow. It means you're loved, cherished and protected from harm, whether that harm comes from physical dangers or from ignorant, self-interested school administrators, defensive friends or jealous neighbors. It means that your basic needs are met, that your joy is valued, that your individuality is guarded. Your worries are kept small, your responsibilities kept manageable. It means that you have someone who will never give up on you - someone who will guide you, teach you, keep the flame burning in your heart as they lead you towards becoming a healthy, happy adult. Enjoy him as a kid, too. As you let him be a kid, you "be a Mom". Revel in the beauty of the world through his eyes, run through the sprinklers, cuddle him when he's afraid, tuck him into bed and read him a story he loves - even if it's one of Feynman's lectures. People tell you to "just let him be a kid", tell them simply - that's exactly what you're doing, thanks.

As I said, your mileage may vary, but these have been some awfully hard-won truths for us.

With all due respect, the problem with OP's attitude is that her daughter is TWO. She is not "gifted" - perhaps she will be when she gets older, but maybe she won't. Who knows? Her TWO YEAR old is an early talker and very communicative. Great. But she also sounds like she has gross motor skills issues and social problems. Let's not pretend we are talking about an elementary aged school kid, okay? There really is no such thing as a gifted two year old.

Actually a gifted elementary school aged child was once a gifted two year old and will one day be a gifted adult. It's not something you grow into or out of.

Actually, no, this is an incredibly common misconception, but a misconception nonetheless. In the sense that "once singled out as a G&T child, always treated as a G&T child" you are correct. But that's actually a faililng of the system. What we've learned in the last few decades is that gifted two-year-olds aren't necessarily gifted eight-year-olds...or gifted twelve-year-olds. At least by objective measures. Like in all other metrics, some kids hit their "growth spurt" faster than others.

Of course, the "tracking" does take place early, and regardless of how "normal" a child is in later years, school districts and educators are loathe to "kick" a child out for mediocrity.