Boyfriend told me he'd leave if I'm infertile. I'm considering moving on

[Anonymous]

*to fix

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marrying someone with infertility issues is signing up for an expensive and stressful battle. Its a different thing if it happens but walking in knowing and on top of that if wife doesn't want children then you can imagine how difficult she would make his life with infertility process and afterwards with raising those kids. They aren't not married, better be honest and find partners who both want it.

And marrying someone who puts nonexisting children above their partner can make the person feel like walking uterus/testicles. He doesn't have to stay, she doesn't have to continue a relationship where she doesnt feel valued

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male infertility is easier, cheaper and less physically demanding than female fertility.

He's welcome to find out all about that on his own, or not, as needs be. Without OP, most likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess what I’m hearing is that he wants children so much that he cannot imagine a life without them. And not having children is a dealbreaker for him. I’d want to know more about how he said what he said. Did he say, “I’d leave you if you can’t have children” (which is abrasive and sounds kind of punitive) or did he say, “Bio-children are supremely important to me. It would break my heart but I think I’d have to end our relationship if it turned out that we couldn’t have kids”? Either way is not great, because what about adoption or other alternatives.

How does he know HE is fertile? Has he gotten himself tested?

It doesn't matter what the exact context it because essentially he is saying he values his hypothetical bio children more than he values her.

OP needs to decide if she values her place in his pecking order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men who want to be fathers and have a family with you tend to be more loyal than carefree boys who are self absorbed.

Plenty of men that don't want children are devouted partners. Plenty of men that want and have children see their partners as bangmaids and aren't even invested in raising their own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being honest is a crime now? What would we say if genders were swapped here?

Why would it be a crime for her to leave him, as he would leave her?

Isn't that just how it goes? Fine for the goose, fine for the gander.

OP isn't calling the police on him. She's breaking up with him because she disagrees with the conditions he so honestly laid in front of her.

I fully support men leaving their partners if said partners confessed to seeing them as a sperm bank

[Anonymous]

If you always wanted to have your own home but your boyfriend decides to let his aggressive mom or loser brother move in for life , would you stay or leave? Most women would leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male infertility is easier, cheaper and less physically demanding than female fertility.

He's welcome to find out all about that on his own, or not, as needs be. Without OP, most likely.

Uh, this is not accurate given that male factor infertility can absolutely require IVF. I think you mean that male factor infertility is less physically demanding and cheaper for the man. That’s true for anything related to conception and childbirth.

OP’s boyfriend is a self-centered, egotistical ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you always wanted to have your own home but your boyfriend decides to let his aggressive mom or loser brother move in for life , would you stay or leave? Most women would leave.

Uh, one of these things is a heartbreaking medical condition outside of the person’s control. Another is not.

[Anonymous]

Many women only want any available men to have kids because they are crossing fertility window and divorce afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you always wanted to have your own home but your boyfriend decides to let his aggressive mom or loser brother move in for life , would you stay or leave? Most women would leave.

Uh, one of these things is a heartbreaking medical condition outside of the person’s control. Another is not.

May be mother or brother have health issues or money issues then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many women only want any available men to have kids because they are crossing fertility window and divorce afterwards.

And nobody is expected to knowingly put up with these women.

[Anonymous]

Wanting or not wanting to have biological children isn't a crime. Find one who wants same thing as you do. What all this fuss is about? If you love him and don't want to leave him, that's an issue. If you are fine moving on for any thing that matters more to you, then you don't love him to begin with. Just like you want him to sacrifice, are you willing to make sacrifices for him?

[Anonymous]

I see nothing wrong with what he said. Maybe he was a little too blunt about it but if he wants children, then he needs to pursue a relationship that will give him children.

He might love you, but he would also resent you. Better to move on.

[Anonymous]

Did you ask him what if HE is infertile? What does he plan to do then? Half of infertile couple is related to the male.