asking for money for hosting teens tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't invite 7 kids if you can't afford to feed them OP. Only invite 2. It's embarrassing you invited them all then thinking about how to recoup some of your costs for food!

And yes you are well off.

I don’t think OP invited these kids, per se. It’s more like her son and his friends decided they wanted to go to the beach and her son said, hey my parents have a house we can use!

[Anonymous]

Super tacky. Either don’t invite or just feed them.

[Anonymous]

Buttered noodles only for the ones that don’t pay up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't invite 7 kids if you can't afford to feed them OP. Only invite 2. It's embarrassing you invited them all then thinking about how to recoup some of your costs for food!

And yes you are well off.

I don’t think OP invited these kids, per se. It’s more like her son and his friends decided they wanted to go to the beach and her son said, hey my parents have a house we can use!

Per se, my ass. She is paying for the beach house. She is the parent. No one goes without an invitation from the people who pay.

[Anonymous]

I think it's totally fine to say -- the boys will be on their own for lunches, so please just make sure they have some spending money for that -- if your kids are typical MC or UMC kids that go out to chipotle and stuff regularly. Or to say something like -- I'm planning on letting the boys just go out to dinner for a few nights on their own -- and any reasonable parent will understand that their son is expected to pick up the cost of that meal on their own.

When we hosted teen boys, I did buy a bunch of stuff at costco -- but I found the boys also just went out and bought food on their own to supplement. Like they went by the burrito place or the ice cream place pretty much every afternoon. Because that's what they do after school anyway. I probably didn't buy enough soda for their taste, so I think they were picking up stuff like energy drinks and soda on their own. But I did stuff like pasta with meat sauce, pizza, those chicken flautas from costco, maybe we did hamburgers or hotdogs one night, etc. I wasn't feeding them steak.

[Anonymous]

You know what’s really tacky? Beach house freeloaders.

[Anonymous]

It's tacky if you, the parents, are hosting. The very definition of hosting is that you are covering the guests.

If the child is hosting, i.e. you are not around, then he is free to ply his friends and they work it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buttered noodles only for the ones that don’t pay up.

Ridiculous. Some of you should never, ever host and OP seems to be in that group that's clueless as to what "host" means.

[Anonymous]

My son invited a friend to go skiing with us one weekend. I wish I never reserved the lift tickets in advance nor reserved the ski gear rental just to save time because that kid's family never reimbursed me. It never occurred to them. I even had to shell out for breakfast and lunch.
I should have been clear that I was not hosting the ski trip, just providing a ride. I left all the communication to my son. I was not comfortable with shaking down a teenager for money so just let it go. Lesson learned to be explicitly clear because other parents will not always have the graciousness to inquire nor equip their children financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son invited a friend to go skiing with us one weekend. I wish I never reserved the lift tickets in advance nor reserved the ski gear rental just to save time because that kid's family never reimbursed me. It never occurred to them. I even had to shell out for breakfast and lunch.
I should have been clear that I was not hosting the ski trip, just providing a ride. I left all the communication to my son. I was not comfortable with shaking down a teenager for money so just let it go. Lesson learned to be explicitly clear because other parents will not always have the graciousness to inquire nor equip their children financially.

You're both cheap and insane.

[Anonymous]

So if this was a girls’ trip—a group of old college friends, say— and one of them happened to have a beach house that they offered up, you would assume that that friend was also covering all of your meals for the week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if this was a girls’ trip—a group of old college friends, say— and one of them happened to have a beach house that they offered up, you would assume that that friend was also covering all of your meals for the week?

NP - We have a beach house and yes, when I have my girls (or any guests) here I have the house stocked. My friends are gracious and always take me out for at least one meal and we split other meals out. They also ask what they can bring to the house. I have never asked my friends for a monetary contribution towards groceries or anything for the house.

Back to the OP, I also have a son who has had friends at our house. His friend's parents have always offered to send snacks, etc. and we have not had a problem with kids not having spending money. If you don't want to cover food at your house, do not invite so many kids. You tell your son you are only able/willing to host x number of kids at a time.

[Anonymous]

We have a beach house and teens. Absolutely would never request money from teens or families. I cover meals. They should all bring some spending money. If they are hanging out, walking around, they can buy ice cream or a slice of pizza.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if this was a girls’ trip—a group of old college friends, say— and one of them happened to have a beach house that they offered up, you would assume that that friend was also covering all of your meals for the week?

NP - We have a beach house and yes, when I have my girls (or any guests) here I have the house stocked. My friends are gracious and always take me out for at least one meal and we split other meals out. They also ask what they can bring to the house. I have never asked my friends for a monetary contribution towards groceries or anything for the house.

Back to the OP, I also have a son who has had friends at our house. His friend's parents have always offered to send snacks, etc. and we have not had a problem with kids not having spending money. If you don't want to cover food at your house, do not invite so many kids. You tell your son you are only able/willing to host x number of kids at a time.

I hear you, but I still think there is distinct difference between a beach house owner thinking “I want to host my friends here, I’m going to invite them,”
and “my group of friends is planning a trip together and I happen to have a beach house they can use.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a beach house and teens. Absolutely would never request money from teens or families. I cover meals. They should all bring some spending money. If they are hanging out, walking around, they can buy ice cream or a slice of pizza.

How old are your teens?