Can’t get husband to help with Easter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you recently move away from family members that you used to do this stuff with, OP? I don’t understand how this is just coming up when you have a teenager.

I think there are fake Easter posts on this site today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

An Easter egg hunt for a family who is not observant is worse than a regular Sunday.

He has risen! No he has not. But let’s celebrate with peeps and everyday candy just wrapped in green and pink!

You’re right, the REAL Christians celebrate by threatening to commit war crimes such as bombing bridges and power plants and praising Allah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is a weird to get upset about if you haven’t darkened the door of a church in 17 years.

I’m religious too, but I get why this stuff is a big deal to OP. If you aren’t going to church, then the baskets and the egg hunt is the whole holiday.

It’s Easter, the most religious of Christian holidays. If you don’t celebrate that, then there isn’t much of a “holiday.” Who believes in the Easter Bunny?

Non-religious people. You just have to think of secular Easter as a different holiday, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you recently move away from family members that you used to do this stuff with, OP? I don’t understand how this is just coming up when you have a teenager.

I think there are fake Easter posts on this site today.

That makes sense. This stuff is for small children. If OP’s husband didn’t care when the kids were little, I don’t know why she would think he would start now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP. With things like this it’s probably better if you just do the shopping and ask DH to help fill eggs the night before. It sounds like splitting responsibility for shopping is a bad idea.

+1. DH helps to fill and hide eggs. I do everything else. I don't mind because the kids get so much joy from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP. With things like this it’s probably better if you just do the shopping and ask DH to help fill eggs the night before. It sounds like splitting responsibility for shopping is a bad idea.

Bull shite. Op should never have run out and bought more stuff. That's the first mistake. Let dh suffer the consequences and frankly the kids aren't going to die because of a less than stellar Easter. Op let Easter go down a notch then assess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paydays and Hersheys with Almonds?? Does he hate his children? He obviously did that out of annoyance with you. From now on you just have to do it all yourself. Is that irritating? Yes. But if you want the kids to have a certain kind of experience, your DH isn’t on the same page and it will be up to you and you alone. I’ve been there.

Genuine question: did he have Easter candy and baskets growing up?

This is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

An Easter egg hunt for a family who is not observant is worse than a regular Sunday.

He has risen! No he has not. But let’s celebrate with peeps and everyday candy just wrapped in green and pink!

One does not have to be religious to celebrate Easter. You rwnjs think you get to dictate life for everyone else just like a crazy a fascist would. You don't get to shove your backwards religious views down our throats and whether you like it or not, the rest of us can pick and choose how we want to celebrate these events/holidays and we can leave religious stuff out of it entirely. If you don't like it move to Iran. We have the choice of religious freedom here as much as you hate that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

An Easter egg hunt for a family who is not observant is worse than a regular Sunday.

He has risen! No he has not. But let’s celebrate with peeps and everyday candy just wrapped in green and pink!

One does not have to be religious to celebrate Easter. You rwnjs think you get to dictate life for everyone else just like a crazy a fascist would. You don't get to shove your backwards religious views down our throats and whether you like it or not, the rest of us can pick and choose how we want to celebrate these events/holidays and we can leave religious stuff out of it entirely. If you don't like it move to Iran. We have the choice of religious freedom here as much as you hate that.

You misunderstand my post. Not surprised given the reflexive weird reaction. Actually I’m quite liberal and not religious. I live in America and my family is not fake-celebrating a major religious holiday.

Backwards is getting into marital fights over the Easter Bunny and baskets and BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hugs, OP. My xH did something similar; he is supposed to have the kids for Easter today as per our custody agreement, but texted me yesterday to let me know he didn't feel like doing Easter this year so I could just keep the kids.

We were able to get some eggs and dye last night and colored eggs together. I wasn't able to get candy or baskets, but that's okay. The important part was us celebrating together, even if it was low-key.

What an azzhat. I'm so glad you're divorced from the bum. What a crappy thing to do to your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

They really aren’t though.

Not prior poster, but what the hell do you even mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

An Easter egg hunt for a family who is not observant is worse than a regular Sunday.

He has risen! No he has not. But let’s celebrate with peeps and everyday candy just wrapped in green and pink!

One does not have to be religious to celebrate Easter. You rwnjs think you get to dictate life for everyone else just like a crazy a fascist would. You don't get to shove your backwards religious views down our throats and whether you like it or not, the rest of us can pick and choose how we want to celebrate these events/holidays and we can leave religious stuff out of it entirely. If you don't like it move to Iran. We have the choice of religious freedom here as much as you hate that.

You misunderstand my post. Not surprised given the reflexive weird reaction. Actually I’m quite liberal and not religious. I live in America and my family is not fake-celebrating a major religious holiday.

Backwards is getting into marital fights over the Easter Bunny and baskets and BS.

You can do whatever you want, but you don't get to dictate how any of us feel about a holiday or how we celebrate it. Where do you get off declaring it a major religious holiday. It might be for you but not for many of us.

My 20 something year old kids live for our Easter hunt. They will do it forever. It's a family tradition they love. We don't put candy in the eggs but instead add favors or just crazy things we'll do to be funny. It's insane and is a blast. I would be upset if my spouse decided to ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

They really aren’t though.

Not prior poster, but what the hell do you even mean?

PP said large percentage of Americans celebrate secular Easter. It is not true a that large percentage of Americans celebrate Easter as a purely secular holiday as OP wishes to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

An Easter egg hunt for a family who is not observant is worse than a regular Sunday.

He has risen! No he has not. But let’s celebrate with peeps and everyday candy just wrapped in green and pink!

One does not have to be religious to celebrate Easter. You rwnjs think you get to dictate life for everyone else just like a crazy a fascist would. You don't get to shove your backwards religious views down our throats and whether you like it or not, the rest of us can pick and choose how we want to celebrate these events/holidays and we can leave religious stuff out of it entirely. If you don't like it move to Iran. We have the choice of religious freedom here as much as you hate that.

You misunderstand my post. Not surprised given the reflexive weird reaction. Actually I’m quite liberal and not religious. I live in America and my family is not fake-celebrating a major religious holiday.

Backwards is getting into marital fights over the Easter Bunny and baskets and BS.

You can do whatever you want, but you don't get to dictate how any of us feel about a holiday or how we celebrate it. Where do you get off declaring it a major religious holiday. It might be for you but not for many of us.

My 20 something year old kids live for our Easter hunt. They will do it forever. It's a family tradition they love. We don't put candy in the eggs but instead add favors or just crazy things we'll do to be funny. It's insane and is a blast. I would be upset if my spouse decided to ignore it.

Cool story bro. OP’s easter eggs hunts aren’t that great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been married 19 years and let me tell you something, men don’t care about Easter baskets and they don’t care if things are pastel colored and they don’t care about spoiling the kids with a full and plentiful holiday.

This. DP married 30 years. Except many dads will help if given instructions. My Jewish husband was happy to hide the eggs and help me with Easter brunch. I did the rest, as my mother and sister did. My MIL did everything for Passover seder.