Can’t get husband to help with Easter.

[Anonymous]

Did you recently move away from family members that you used to do this stuff with, OP? I don’t understand how this is just coming up when you have a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hugs, OP. My xH did something similar; he is supposed to have the kids for Easter today as per our custody agreement, but texted me yesterday to let me know he didn't feel like doing Easter this year so I could just keep the kids.

We were able to get some eggs and dye last night and colored eggs together. I wasn't able to get candy or baskets, but that's okay. The important part was us celebrating together, even if it was low-key.

Aww…I’m sorry about this, pp. I’m glad you are able to be with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Stop creating problems. Since you were buying Easter baskets you could have easily grabbed some candy at the same time.

[Anonymous]

You need to accept you are going to have to do this yourself, for the sake of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hugs, OP. My xH did something similar; he is supposed to have the kids for Easter today as per our custody agreement, but texted me yesterday to let me know he didn't feel like doing Easter this year so I could just keep the kids.

We were able to get some eggs and dye last night and colored eggs together. I wasn't able to get candy or baskets, but that's okay. The important part was us celebrating together, even if it was low-key.

Ugh. Your ex sucks SO BAD. What a jerk. How old are your kids? If they don’t believe in the Easter bunny you can still go get some candy/treats.

Your ex is a jerk for messing up the kids’ holiday. He could have given you even a few more hours notice. My sympathies. You sound like a good mom!

[Anonymous]

If you are not a Christian, you have nothing to complain about when it comes to Easter. At all.

There is nothing different about Easter, for you, than if you decided to “celebrate” the Academy Awards, or the Super Bowl, or the Olympics, or Taco Tuesday with a party. And if you want to do any of those things, with food and treats and games and toys or candy? That’s great. Do that, then.

But don’t expect anyone else who just doesn’t want to do that to “help” you.

[Anonymous]

You’ve been asking for 2 weeks — and already got the baskets. After 2 weeks of what sounds like nagging, you don’t like your husband’s choices. During those 2 weeks, was there no point when you were in a store where you could have made purchases that aligned with your vision? You want your husband to be excited about making purchases for a religious holiday that your family doesn’t celebrate. I don’t get it. My sympathies are with your husband on this one. Wishing you and your family a Happy Easter though.

Shift: Are you a Pisces?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. YOU want to do a totally optional egg hunt. Why does he have to do the shopping for it? This is your project, right?

This is probably one of the many inconsequential "little jobs" OP gives her DH and then becomes wildly upset when he doesn't comply with her orders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop creating problems. Since you were buying Easter baskets you could have easily grabbed some candy at the same time.

+1
OP seemed to want him to help on principle, which is silly. Baskets are the easiest thing to do, so just do them. This is not a two-person job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is a weird to get upset about if you haven’t darkened the door of a church in 17 years.

I’m religious too, but I get why this stuff is a big deal to OP. If you aren’t going to church, then the baskets and the egg hunt is the whole holiday.

It’s Easter, the most religious of Christian holidays. If you don’t celebrate that, then there isn’t much of a “holiday.” Who believes in the Easter Bunny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is a weird to get upset about if you haven’t darkened the door of a church in 17 years.

I’m religious too, but I get why this stuff is a big deal to OP. If you aren’t going to church, then the baskets and the egg hunt is the whole holiday.

It’s Easter, the most religious of Christian holidays. If you don’t celebrate that, then there isn’t much of a “holiday.” Who believes in the Easter Bunny?

You’re not really this clueless, are you?

[Anonymous]

If you have teens, and you’re doing anything more than “put some candy in basket”, then you’re taking this too far op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

They really aren’t though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is a weird to get upset about if you haven’t darkened the door of a church in 17 years.

I’m religious too, but I get why this stuff is a big deal to OP. If you aren’t going to church, then the baskets and the egg hunt is the whole holiday.

It’s Easter, the most religious of Christian holidays. If you don’t celebrate that, then there isn’t much of a “holiday.” Who believes in the Easter Bunny?

You’re not really this clueless, are you?

That’s all you’ve got? Look beyond your small circle. This is 2026. Easter isn’t a big holiday for the non-religious.