Is This the Norm? My Husband Says I’m Wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Ex should go on a trip with his 3 adult kids, without the ex wife.

Separately, he should take OP and their son on a trip.

This reads a lot as if the Ex wishes he was still intact with original family. I'd be unhappy if my DH went on any kind of a trip with his EX. And I'm an original and only wife and mother.

Any woman here saying it's okay is an Ex who wishes she was still taking vacations and still a family with her ExH.

But the guy does not want to go on vacation with his young wife or child. He is not offering a separate vacation, he doesn’t care how they feel, and he doesn’t want to spend that time or money with them. He wants to be with the ex wife and adult kids.

I understand why there are a lot of hurt feelings around this situation. I can’t imagine how I would cope with my 40 year ex or dad impregnating an 18 year old

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]My husband is my sons biological father, and the three kids are also my husbands kids. I thought it was clear, sorry. OP[/quote]

It’s weird he wouldn’t take his own son on a trip with his other children

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband is my sons biological father, and the three kids are also my husbands kids. I thought it was clear, sorry. OP[/quote]

It’s weird he wouldn’t take his own son on a trip with his other children[/quote]

It’s not weird when you realize the age gap when she got pregnant at 18 by a 40 year old divorced dad at a night club. None of these people are likely to have healthy relationships except maybe the original family that actually wants to enjoy a vacation.

[Anonymous]

When did you get pregnant and meet?

[Anonymous]

He doesn't care because he doesn't view you as a human being. You were a sex object to him (no, it's NOT normal for a 40 year old to sleep with an 18 year old).

I would line up your ducks and plan for divorce. I can guarantee he will not be leaving any money to you after his death.

[Anonymous]

To answer the question in your title: no it is not the norm to get a 18 year old pregnant when you have a 16 year old child.

Of course you feel like you are missing out on the vacation planned for the 20 somethings because you are their age. But the 8 year old isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When did you get pregnant and meet?

We met a weeks before my high school graduation. We dated for a few months, and then I got pregnant, and then we got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did you get pregnant and meet?

We met a weeks before my high school graduation. We dated for a few months, and then I got pregnant, and then we got married.

This sounds awful, did you have any other plans for your life when you got pregnant by a 40 year old who you had just met while you were in high school? How is your relationship otherwise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is not normal. You know this.

Right. Your husband is being cruel.

[Anonymous]

The 40 year old divorced guy at the underage club is already a sad story in one sentence, and then everything after that is just a trainwreck.

No wonder he wants to spend summers playing pretend with his first family that he never blew up his life in a midlife crisis cliche.

Get out, OP. Make a real life for yourself. Either find a better guy looking for a sugar baby like the upthread PP advised or get a degree on this guy's dime and then bail out.

[Anonymous]

His older kids want nothing to do with your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Ex should go on a trip with his 3 adult kids, without the ex wife.

Separately, he should take OP and their son on a trip.

This reads a lot as if the Ex wishes he was still intact with original family. I'd be unhappy if my DH went on any kind of a trip with his EX. And I'm an original and only wife and mother.

Any woman here saying it's okay is an Ex who wishes she was still taking vacations and still a family with her ExH.

But the guy does not want to go on vacation with his young wife or child. He is not offering a separate vacation, he doesn’t care how they feel, and he doesn’t want to spend that time or money with them. He wants to be with the ex wife and adult kids.

I understand why there are a lot of hurt feelings around this situation. I can’t imagine how I would cope with my 40 year ex or dad impregnating an 18 year old

I'm the PP. I get that. And that's the problem. DH and his Ex and their kids want to be the old unit that they were before the dad turned into an Ahole guy and got an 18 year old pregnant. If he divorces OP, he will lose a portion of his wealth, and he's already paying his Ex, I'm guessing. He probably doesn't have enough money to get a divorce.

In all of this, I feel the worst for the 8 year old son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 40 year old divorced guy at the underage club is already a sad story in one sentence, and then everything after that is just a trainwreck.

No wonder he wants to spend summers playing pretend with his first family that he never blew up his life in a midlife crisis cliche.

Get out, OP. Make a real life for yourself. Either find a better guy looking for a sugar baby like the upthread PP advised or get a degree on this guy's dime and then bail out.

I agree with this. Get a degree, get some money and get out. Start fresh. This isn't going to get better.

[Anonymous]

What's the problem? It's not like he's going to sleep with his ex-wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 27 years old with an 8 year old son. My husband is 49 and wants to take a vacation in July with his ex-wife and her three kids (25, 23, 21). He’s really close to them and says it’s normal and healthy to do things with his ex and her family. However, he doesn’t want to plan a vacation for my son and me. Instead, he wants my son to spend the summer at home while he goes off with them.
My son is really upset that he won’t be able to go on a vacation, and my husband made him cry. My husband doesn’t seem to care at all that we’re both hurt and upset. It feels like he’s putting his ex’s family above ours.

I don’t know what to do. It seems like he doesn’t care about me or my son at all. It’s so frustrating. How do you even handle something like this?

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
But you married for the money, right?