Step kiddo is a total Failure to Launch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Kiddo" at 27, FFS?

Well he’s a total dependent at 27 FFS

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t let my 27 year old child move back home let alone a 27 year old STEP child. Stop shaming OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step kiddo 27 was a “promising student” in school but hasn’t been much successful. Graduated from college with niche/unhelpful major, tried out the job rodeo (failed), now moving back in with us. I don’t support it, you’ve gotta move out and find yourself in that way, right? It’s what I always did and I turned out I just fine if I do say so myself. But DH claims that I “never saw [step kid] as my own kid” and that’s what’s fueling my feelings. Well no, I saw my step kid as my step kid. All right and so what? The issue I need your helps with is encouraging my STEP child to move out while avoiding drama with DH.

Maybe you should move out? Find yourself in that way? It would be a kindness to both your husband and his child. Because, frankly, you sound like a festering, rancid twat.

OP here. Excuse me?

Ignore. They are a bunch of exwifes who hate Stepmoms.

100%

The wicked stepmother archetype exists for a reason. Not all stepmothers are terrible, but they aren’t doing much to hold up their side in this thread. The total lack of concern for SK and the race straight to DIVORCE him and take all MONIES is not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not your kid, so this isn't your decision.

Um, NO. It's her house. She absolutely has a say in who lives in her house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Kiddo" at 27, FFS?

NP. I dislike OP specifically for this alone, and immediately sympathized with the “kiddo.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step kiddo 27 was a “promising student” in school but hasn’t been much successful. Graduated from college with niche/unhelpful major, tried out the job rodeo (failed), now moving back in with us. I don’t support it, you’ve gotta move out and find yourself in that way, right? It’s what I always did and I turned out I just fine if I do say so myself. But DH claims that I “never saw [step kid] as my own kid” and that’s what’s fueling my feelings. Well no, I saw my step kid as my step kid. All right and so what? The issue I need your helps with is encouraging my STEP child to move out while avoiding drama with DH.

Maybe you should move out? Find yourself in that way? It would be a kindness to both your husband and his child. Because, frankly, you sound like a festering, rancid twat.

OP here. Excuse me?

Ignore. They are a bunch of exwifes who hate Stepmoms.

100%

The wicked stepmother archetype exists for a reason. Not all stepmothers are terrible, but they aren’t doing much to hold up their side in this thread. The total lack of concern for SK and the race straight to DIVORCE him and take all MONIES is not a good look.

Op here and right away this tells me all I need to know about you. Gross, ignorant. I’m not wicked, and I’m a good parent and a good stepmom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t let my 27 year old child move back home let alone a 27 year old STEP child. Stop shaming OP.

This. 27 is too old for any adult child to move home. It's probably the beginning or continuation of a long-term codependency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t let my 27 year old child move back home let alone a 27 year old STEP child. Stop shaming OP.

This. 27 is too old for any adult child to move home. It's probably the beginning or continuation of a long-term codependency.

This. It isn't good for the kid! Far better for them to live with roommates, even if OP and her DH are subsidizing them, then to be in the revert-to-childhood setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your husband asking the "child" to do here? Work at a job for a certain period of time? Save a certain amount of money?

What do you want the "child" to do? Move out immediately? Move out in a certain timeframe?

What does the "child" want in this situation? I can't imagine that "live with my dad and my obviously hostile stepmom" is what this young adult wants out of life.

OP here. You’d think that, but step-DC hasn’t indicated anything differently. It’s so strange, I don’t understand at all.

Maybe you are doing a better job at concealing your contempt for this young adult in front of them than you are on this thread. If so, good job. Seems like the first kind thing you've done in this situation.

And you didn't answer the rest of the post. What do you want here, really? What does your husband want?

+1
OP's total contempt for their husband's child is so incredibly obvious. Her husband is likely reacting to that. Gotta hurt that your spouse doesn't love your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Kiddo" at 27, FFS?

NP. I dislike OP specifically for this alone, and immediately sympathized with the “kiddo.”

You mean the dependent who can’t support themself?

A lot more in common with “kiddos” than adults at the age of 27!?!?!?!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Kiddo" at 27, FFS?

The “kiddo” police has entered the chat.

I could have said how uneducated the OP's writing makes them seem, but that seemed a bridge to far. Instead, pointing out how embarrassing it is "kiddo", especially for a 27,year-old seemed kinder somehow.

+1

[Anonymous]

I assume that you are in the DC metro area? If so, be aware that this behavior is exceedingly common. People tell themselves it is because "rent and housing prices are so high" but it's really because they are lazy, comfortable, and unmotivated. Prices are high but so is pay and employment rates, this is the land of milk and honey. If you can't make it here, then you can't make it anywhere.

You need to figure out how much you will tolerate. This is a DH issue, not a stepchild issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Kiddo" at 27, FFS?

NP. I dislike OP specifically for this alone, and immediately sympathized with the “kiddo.”

You mean the dependent who can’t support themself?

A lot more in common with “kiddos” than adults at the age of 27!?!?!?!?!

Nope. No matter what the situation, it is very creepy to refer to a 27-year-old as “kiddo.” OP is messed up.

[Anonymous]

I think the problem is that she's referring to a 27 year-old man as a "kiddo"...that tells you all you need to know.

[Anonymous]

What’s with the hate? The OP was upfront about this young adult’s age. Put the terminology aside and help to deal with her problem. The OP has not responded as to what this kid is doing (employment-wise) currently? Is he a waiter or working somewhere 40 hours a week or playing video games? Is he willing to get re-trained? You, your DH, and SS need to have a detailed plan and end date. Simply moving in isn’t a plan. Maybe a family counselor could assist.