Step kiddo is a total Failure to Launch

[Anonymous]

Step kiddo 27 was a “promising student” in school but hasn’t been much successful. Graduated from college with niche/unhelpful major, tried out the job rodeo (failed), now moving back in with us. I don’t support it, you’ve gotta move out and find yourself in that way, right? It’s what I always did and I turned out I just fine if I do say so myself. But DH claims that I “never saw [step kid] as my own kid” and that’s what’s fueling my feelings. Well no, I saw my step kid as my step kid. All right and so what? The issue I need your helps with is encouraging my STEP child to move out while avoiding drama with DH.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids of your own, OP? And if so, how old are they?

[Anonymous]

He's not your kid, so this isn't your decision.

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids of your own, OP? And if so, how old are they?

OP here, yes I have a daughter aged 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll

OP. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not your kid, so this isn't your decision.

Whose house is it? Also, OP gets to decide which adults she wants to live with. If she doesn't want a 27-year-old roommate, she can say no and let her DH and his failure-to-launch child pout about it, or her DH could move out and find a place to live with his 27-year-old, or OP could move out and find a place to live. Those are all valid options, depending in part on who owns the house. If your DH owns it, then you have to move out. If you own it, you can kick them out. If you own it jointly, you can say no, and if they ignore you, initiate a divorce and get your share of the home equity to start your next chapter. You have options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids of your own, OP? And if so, how old are they?

OP here, yes I have a daughter aged 30.

When was the last time your daughter lived with you and your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids of your own, OP? And if so, how old are they?

OP here, yes I have a daughter aged 30.

When was the last time your daughter lived with you and your husband?

OP here, not since she was 18!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step kiddo 27 was a “promising student” in school but hasn’t been much successful. Graduated from college with niche/unhelpful major, tried out the job rodeo (failed), now moving back in with us. I don’t support it, you’ve gotta move out and find yourself in that way, right? It’s what I always did and I turned out I just fine if I do say so myself. But DH claims that I “never saw [step kid] as my own kid” and that’s what’s fueling my feelings. Well no, I saw my step kid as my step kid. All right and so what? The issue I need your helps with is encouraging my STEP child to move out while avoiding drama with DH.

Maybe you should move out? Find yourself in that way? It would be a kindness to both your husband and his child. Because, frankly, you sound like a festering, rancid twat.

OP here. Excuse me?

[Anonymous]

Oh no. This thread is ALREADY a train wreck.

[Anonymous]

It's difficult, OP. Does he have medical issues, or ADHD, anxiety, autism, whatever else, that are impacting his ability to network and work efficiently?

I have a 30+ nephew with depression and a severe sleep disorder, who cannot work. It's a shame because he has a high IQ and was also a stellar student. His father is wealthy enough that he set him up in his own small apartment, and pays his bills, so that he does not need to live at home, where his step mother lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step kiddo 27 was a “promising student” in school but hasn’t been much successful. Graduated from college with niche/unhelpful major, tried out the job rodeo (failed), now moving back in with us. I don’t support it, you’ve gotta move out and find yourself in that way, right? It’s what I always did and I turned out I just fine if I do say so myself. But DH claims that I “never saw [step kid] as my own kid” and that’s what’s fueling my feelings. Well no, I saw my step kid as my step kid. All right and so what? The issue I need your helps with is encouraging my STEP child to move out while avoiding drama with DH.

Maybe you should move out? Find yourself in that way? It would be a kindness to both your husband and his child. Because, frankly, you sound like a festering, rancid twat.

Ignore this. Maybe someone should move out, but it depends on the circumstances. Start with saying no, the stepkid is too old to move home. If that doesn't work, explore other options, including divorce if you'd rather be divorced than living with your stepson, which might be the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Step kiddo 27 was a “promising student” in school but hasn’t been much successful. Graduated from college with niche/unhelpful major, tried out the job rodeo (failed), now moving back in with us. I don’t support it, you’ve gotta move out and find yourself in that way, right? It’s what I always did and I turned out I just fine if I do say so myself. But DH claims that I “never saw [step kid] as my own kid” and that’s what’s fueling my feelings. Well no, I saw my step kid as my step kid. All right and so what? The issue I need your helps with is encouraging my STEP child to move out while avoiding drama with DH.

Maybe you should move out? Find yourself in that way? It would be a kindness to both your husband and his child. Because, frankly, you sound like a festering, rancid twat.

OP here. Excuse me?

Ignore. They are a bunch of exwifes who hate Stepmoms.

[Anonymous]

It’s so interesting how everyone assumed OP is talking about a step SON when they didn’t use any gendered language. It’s so patriarchal.