Step kiddo is a total Failure to Launch

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:"Kiddo" at 27, FFS?


The “kiddo” police has entered the chat.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Kiddo" at 27, FFS?


The “kiddo” police has entered the chat.


TWENTY-SEVEN!
Anonymous
The young adult is 27. Assuming he graduated at 22, how long has he actually worked? Why does he need a place to live now?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Can people get a post-nuptial agreement, where assets are split but divorce isn't necessarily happening?


Go see a lawyer and while you’re at it, you might want them to include clauses about who each of you can and cannot move into your house.
Anonymous
OMG how things change once the generations become downwardly mobile. Back when kids did better than their parents nobody ever moved back.
Anonymous
It seems like it would be easier to draw a line in the sand now before they move in than to give it a try and have to kick them out later. It's harder to kick people out than it is to prohibit them from moving in.
Anonymous
Is this a temporary 3-4 month move where he’s going to move out as soon as he finds a new job/apartment lease or an indefinite move home?

I’d tolerate the first option for the sake of your step son but would be shooting down the second option. You need to make it clear it to Dad that letting Son live rent free indefinitely is just harming him in the long run. There need to be clear time lines on how long he is staying for.
Anonymous
What is your husband asking the "child" to do here? Work at a job for a certain period of time? Save a certain amount of money?

What do you want the "child" to do? Move out immediately? Move out in a certain timeframe?

What does the "child" want in this situation? I can't imagine that "live with my dad and my obviously hostile stepmom" is what this young adult wants out of life.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OMG how things change once the generations become downwardly mobile. Back when kids did better than their parents nobody ever moved back.

It would probably help if housing was affordable but we all know THAT isn’t happening any time soon. Let’s not blame the kids who are trying to do their best.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Kiddo" at 27, FFS?


The “kiddo” police has entered the chat.


I'm gonna have to concur on this kiddo-alert, Margaret. Well outside the permissible range (ages 2-6). We may want to issue a warning to kiddo users -- prolonged use may increase incident of failure to launch. I repeat, prolonged use of "kiddo" outside the permissible range may increase incidence of failure to launch.
Anonymous
People say "kiddo" when they are trying to remind others that the misbehaving person is a minor and deserves some goodwill and various types of support. If that's what OP is trying to do here, it's failing, because it doesn't work at 27.
Anonymous
“Kiddo” is short for kid in “step kid”. Obviously, this stepchild isn’t an actual kiddo.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OMG how things change once the generations become downwardly mobile. Back when kids did better than their parents nobody ever moved back.

It would probably help if housing was affordable but we all know THAT isn’t happening any time soon. Let’s not blame the kids who are trying to do their best.


You can say no to an unwanted adult roommate without blaming anyone. I suppose one compromise her DH wants to help his 27-year-old, he can spend some of his separate, premarital money to supplement his kid's rent with roommates.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Step kiddo 27 was a “promising student” in school but hasn’t been much successful. Graduated from college with niche/unhelpful major, tried out the job rodeo (failed), now moving back in with us. I don’t support it, you’ve gotta move out and find yourself in that way, right? It’s what I always did and I turned out I just fine if I do say so myself. But DH claims that I “never saw [step kid] as my own kid” and that’s what’s fueling my feelings. Well no, I saw my step kid as my step kid. All right and so what? The issue I need your helps with is encouraging my STEP child to move out while avoiding drama with DH.


Well, the first issue I see is your use of "kiddo". I immediately think certain things of anyone that uses this term.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What is your husband asking the "child" to do here? Work at a job for a certain period of time? Save a certain amount of money?

What do you want the "child" to do? Move out immediately? Move out in a certain timeframe?

What does the "child" want in this situation? I can't imagine that "live with my dad and my obviously hostile stepmom" is what this young adult wants out of life.

OP here. You’d think that, but step-DC hasn’t indicated anything differently. It’s so strange, I don’t understand at all.
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