Daughter (17) is confused and I am too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it need to be such A BIG DEAL?
Student is acting like a scared child
afraid to speak

yes, it's not what the student teacher should ask. It's not. But still, be a grown-up and the student can speak a sentence

Student is a child, a shy one too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it need to be such A BIG DEAL?
Student is acting like a scared child
afraid to speak

yes, it's not what the student teacher should ask. It's not. But still, be a grown-up and the student can speak a sentence

Student is a child, a shy one too.

Then send them to their school counselor to help them process this, damn. Your kid really should not be having such difficulty coping with such a minor thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it need to be such A BIG DEAL?
Student is acting like a scared child
afraid to speak

yes, it's not what the student teacher should ask. It's not. But still, be a grown-up and the student can speak a sentence

Student is a child, a shy one too.

Then send them to their school counselor to help them process this, damn. Your kid really should not be having such difficulty coping with such a minor thing.

I’m not OP, but it’s odd that the PP is acting like this girl is a grown up, I don’t know her but it sounds like she’s shy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's probably joking. I had a co-worker like this, and it's annoying.

This

[Anonymous]

My high schooler has had several student teachers and from what he tells, some are socially not-quite-all-there. I would encourage her to politely tell the teacher that it's kind of awkward because the teacher will provide feedback, hopefully by observing it themself and talking to the student teacher so that your daughter isn't ratted out. She can even suggest this to the teacher, who, presumably volunteered to mentor and would be cool with providing the feedback to the student teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it need to be such A BIG DEAL?
Student is acting like a scared child
afraid to speak

yes, it's not what the student teacher should ask. It's not. But still, be a grown-up and the student can speak a sentence

Student is a child, a shy one too.

Then send them to their school counselor to help them process this, damn. Your kid really should not be having such difficulty coping with such a minor thing.

Sounds like the DD is having trouble understanding what the student teacher is doing, and mom didn’t understand either, so she asked DCUM. That doesn’t seem like difficulty coping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since this is a *student* teacher, write the principal and actual classroom teacher and ask that she be reminded about appropriate professional boundaries. Soliciting gifts from students, even “joking” is off.

I bet everyone runs when they see you coming. That would be a shitty thing to do to a student teacher. The student needs to learn how to joke around. Prepare for college professors.

I'm a college professor and disagree. It's weird and not appropriate. The best opportunity here is for the kid to advocate to a higher-up that it's odd. She doesn't need to scream "ABUSE OF POWER!" but it IS odd. So why not politely say that to someone who is supposed to help helping with these things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler has had several student teachers and from what he tells, some are socially not-quite-all-there. I would encourage her to politely tell the teacher that it's kind of awkward because the teacher will provide feedback, hopefully by observing it themself and talking to the student teacher so that your daughter isn't ratted out. She can even suggest this to the teacher, who, presumably volunteered to mentor and would be cool with providing the feedback to the student teacher.

Has been my kids' experience too. Some get better with feedback and some are lost causes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since this is a *student* teacher, write the principal and actual classroom teacher and ask that she be reminded about appropriate professional boundaries. Soliciting gifts from students, even “joking” is off.

Oh yeah. That’s going to go over well. Think of the ways that could backfire for OP and her kid. Op, tell your daughter to get her own clarification: “ teacher - I’m confused. Do you really want me to get you a coffee each day?” Done. Don’t even need a post on DCUM

If a polite email to the tune if, “I’m sure Student Teacher isn’t aware but her repeated requests for Lucy to bring her coffee are a inappropriate, it might help if someone were to raise this to her” has some potential to cause retaliation than that problem lies with the school, not the parent. No one suggested a “screed”— but since the mentor has not intervened in all of this time it’s obviously not going to be addressed if OP doesn’t raise it.

Adults who don’t respect boundaries and then insist ITS A JOKE are actually exhibiting grooming behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since this is a *student* teacher, write the principal and actual classroom teacher and ask that she be reminded about appropriate professional boundaries. Soliciting gifts from students, even “joking” is off.

Oh yeah. That’s going to go over well. Think of the ways that could backfire for OP and her kid. Op, tell your daughter to get her own clarification: “ teacher - I’m confused. Do you really want me to get you a coffee each day?” Done. Don’t even need a post on DCUM

If a polite email to the tune if, “I’m sure Student Teacher isn’t aware but her repeated requests for Lucy to bring her coffee are a inappropriate, it might help if someone were to raise this to her” has some potential to cause retaliation than that problem lies with the school, not the parent. No one suggested a “screed”— but since the mentor has not intervened in all of this time it’s obviously not going to be addressed if OP doesn’t raise it.

Adults who don’t respect boundaries and then insist ITS A JOKE are actually exhibiting grooming behaviors.

This. Surprised how many people in this thread are brushing it off, must be teachers themselves I guess. These are the kind of teachers who get their mugshot spashed all over the daily mail and ny post.

[Anonymous]

We all agree it’s weird but it’s not even close to dangerous or harmful. Multiple people told OP to email the teacher if she’s concerned. She can address it, that’s her role as the mentor teacher. Going to the principal about something this silly is crazy. You have no idea the real issues some kids and some teachers have if you think the principal would be the one to come personally address a goofy joke.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t assume it’s a joke. Bring the coffee, observe the reaction, and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all agree it’s weird but it’s not even close to dangerous or harmful. Multiple people told OP to email the teacher if she’s concerned. She can address it, that’s her role as the mentor teacher. Going to the principal about something this silly is crazy. You have no idea the real issues some kids and some teachers have if you think the principal would be the one to come personally address a goofy joke.

The reason I suggest going to the principal is that the teacher responsible clearly hasn’t addressed it. No, I’m sure the principal won’t address it themselves, but they’ll instruct the mentor teacher to do so.

Going “nuclear” in a case like this is bringing in Gatehouse or the University with which the student teacher is affiliated. The principal (or an AP) is a reasonable step for people who think adults in charge of children need to be accountable for their behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Student teacher is immature and out of line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it need to be such A BIG DEAL?
Student is acting like a scared child
afraid to speak

yes, it's not what the student teacher should ask. It's not. But still, be a grown-up and the student can speak a sentence

But the student shouldn’t need to speak up- the student teacher is literally working with a teacher supervising her, her behavior with the students, and supposed to be teaching them and mentoring them. It isn’t the students job to coach the teaching intern