Daughter (17) is confused and I am too

[Anonymous]

^ but also, most of us could tell from OP’s description it was a joke and this is a teen. Most people wouldn’t go nuclear to the principal over this. Just like you wouldn’t go to HR over an annoying coworker making the same stupid joke day after day. This is a learning experience for the teen to ignore awkward people with poor social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ but also, most of us could tell from OP’s description it was a joke and this is a teen. Most people wouldn’t go nuclear to the principal over this. Just like you wouldn’t go to HR over an annoying coworker making the same stupid joke day after day. This is a learning experience for the teen to ignore awkward people with poor social skills.

Honestly, at my school an AP wouldn’t even touch this, let alone the principal. At best they’d route the email right back to the mentor teacher as a heads up, and possibly would ignore the entire thing because it’s really THAT inconsequential compared to the issues admin are handling each day. I’ve had parents email me long screeds and cc the principal and the principal never even responds to them or mentions it to me. This is a tempest in a teapot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Student teachers are young and clueless and they all fall into the trap of weirding the kids out by trying to be friendly in a peer-like way with them to get the kids to like them. They haven’t yet figured out they’re an adult in the room who is by necessity separate and apart from the kids, so they resort to goody stuff like this thinking it’s “building relationships.” It’s harmless but they really are just figuring out how to work with kids which is why they have a mentor teacher .

-high school teacher

Another HS teacher here. This is exactly what’s going on. This young student teacher is trying to make a connection and thinks it’s their inside joke now. They don’t get that it’s become awkward for your kid. There is so much more to student teaching than the actual teaching. Tell your DD to ignore. This person is just trying to figuring out relationships with teens, which is a huge part of the job, and is misreading the situation. They are joking and do not want coffee.

Huh?

The STUDENT Teacher needs to learn how to do her job.

Yeah…I don’t get it. Why isn’t the teacher mentor correcting this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Student teachers are young and clueless and they all fall into the trap of weirding the kids out by trying to be friendly in a peer-like way with them to get the kids to like them. They haven’t yet figured out they’re an adult in the room who is by necessity separate and apart from the kids, so they resort to goody stuff like this thinking it’s “building relationships.” It’s harmless but they really are just figuring out how to work with kids which is why they have a mentor teacher .

-high school teacher

Another HS teacher here. This is exactly what’s going on. This young student teacher is trying to make a connection and thinks it’s their inside joke now. They don’t get that it’s become awkward for your kid. There is so much more to student teaching than the actual teaching. Tell your DD to ignore. This person is just trying to figuring out relationships with teens, which is a huge part of the job, and is misreading the situation. They are joking and do not want coffee.

Huh?

The STUDENT Teacher needs to learn how to do her job.

Yeah…I don’t get it. Why isn’t the teacher mentor correcting this?

A. They literally don’t know that it’s happening
B. They tried and were ineffective
C. They suck as a mentor, which happens, and don’t care to address it
D. They don’t think it’s a big deal or can’t tell OP’s kid is this bothered by it at age 17
E. They aren’t good at being direct and the student teacher isn’t getting their gentle hints
F. They have and it’s being worked on

It could be anything. If OP truly think it’s that big a deal she could email the teacher about it but personally I think that is overkill when the kid is 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since this is a *student* teacher, write the principal and actual classroom teacher and ask that she be reminded about appropriate professional boundaries. Soliciting gifts from students, even “joking” is off.

Oh yeah. That’s going to go over well. Think of the ways that could backfire for OP and her kid. Op, tell your daughter to get her own clarification: “ teacher - I’m confused. Do you really want me to get you a coffee each day?” Done. Don’t even need a post on DCUM

[Anonymous]

Professional development training for OP's DD's teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Professional development training for OP's DD's teacher

Wow. That was one of the dumbest, unfunny skits I have ever seen.

[Anonymous]

The student teacher sounds socially awkward and tone deaf. OP's DD is not a mind reader and if the student teacher does not want students to bring drinks in class they should say this explicitly, not rely on an awkward joke that is landing like a fart in church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The student teacher sounds socially awkward and tone deaf. OP's DD is not a mind reader and if the student teacher does not want students to bring drinks in class they should say this explicitly, not rely on an awkward joke that is landing like a fart in church.

We’ve established the student teacher is being awkward. But OP and her kid have low emotional IQ as well for the two of them to be struggling so much with this. A normal kid would get it and move on, and a normal parent would help their kid practice empathy by saying yeah, they’re a brand new teacher who just wants you guys to like them, lighten up and go easy on them. The two of them together puzzling over this enough to need internet support tells you nobody here is operating with strong social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The student teacher sounds socially awkward and tone deaf. OP's DD is not a mind reader and if the student teacher does not want students to bring drinks in class they should say this explicitly, not rely on an awkward joke that is landing like a fart in church.

We’ve established the student teacher is being awkward. But OP and her kid have low emotional IQ as well for the two of them to be struggling so much with this. A normal kid would get it and move on, and a normal parent would help their kid practice empathy by saying yeah, they’re a brand new teacher who just wants you guys to like them, lighten up and go easy on them. The two of them together puzzling over this enough to need internet support tells you nobody here is operating with strong social skills.

The student teacher is the only one here who is strictly required to have social skills. Imagine if this person micraculously passes an interview and gets hired by a school district as a real teacher. It will get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The student teacher sounds socially awkward and tone deaf. OP's DD is not a mind reader and if the student teacher does not want students to bring drinks in class they should say this explicitly, not rely on an awkward joke that is landing like a fart in church.

We’ve established the student teacher is being awkward. But OP and her kid have low emotional IQ as well for the two of them to be struggling so much with this. A normal kid would get it and move on, and a normal parent would help their kid practice empathy by saying yeah, they’re a brand new teacher who just wants you guys to like them, lighten up and go easy on them. The two of them together puzzling over this enough to need internet support tells you nobody here is operating with strong social skills.

The student teacher is the only one here who is strictly required to have social skills. Imagine if this person micraculously passes an interview and gets hired by a school district as a real teacher. It will get worse.

No. I assure you it’s not that serious. Everyone is kind of crappy at this as a student teacher. The idea is you DO get wiser and better at teaching with time but there’s a reason you have a mentor teacher for a whole semester before they let you be the sole teacher. This is very, very normal in the realm of things student teachers learn from during this time. You guys really sound idiots acting like a poorly-landing joke about bringing coffee is the end of someone’s career.

[Anonymous]

Op, your student can use her words. "is this sarcasm or do you expect me to bring one?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, your student can use her words. "is this sarcasm or do you expect me to bring one?"

Why would she ask that? Either the sarcasm or expecting her
To bring a coffee are inappropriate. Teacher should know better or her supervisor should tell her to know it off. It’s unprofessional behavior

[Anonymous]

Does it need to be such A BIG DEAL?
Student is acting like a scared child
afraid to speak

yes, it's not what the student teacher should ask. It's not. But still, be a grown-up and the student can speak a sentence

[Anonymous]

Student-Teacher probably sees/senses a problem with this teen, that this teen has problems, and is trying to draw her out of her shell.