Daughter (17) is confused and I am too

[Anonymous]

She's joking. Do the both of you often have a hard time reading social queues?

[Anonymous]

Ignore her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's joking. Do the both of you often have a hard time reading social queues?

It’s not a socially appropriate joke considering. One is a teacher, one is a student. Teachers shouldn’t “joke” for their students to bring them things, repeatedly

[Anonymous]

Tell your kid to say simply “sorry!” Say it the same cheerful way each day. The game will get boring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just have your daughter reply (with a smile)- “It was your turn this time”. The joke will end.

Good idea. They will both be happy the joke has ended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since this is a *student* teacher, write the principal and actual classroom teacher and ask that she be reminded about appropriate professional boundaries. Soliciting gifts from students, even “joking” is off.

I bet everyone runs when they see you coming. That would be a shitty thing to do to a student teacher. The student needs to learn how to joke around. Prepare for college professors.

It’s not for the students benefit— it’s for the student teacher with boundary issues who isn’t being corrected. Now is the right time to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since this is a *student* teacher, write the principal and actual classroom teacher and ask that she be reminded about appropriate professional boundaries. Soliciting gifts from students, even “joking” is off.

I bet everyone runs when they see you coming. That would be a shitty thing to do to a student teacher. The student needs to learn how to joke around. Prepare for college professors.

It’s not for the students benefit— it’s for the student teacher with boundary issues who isn’t being corrected. Now is the right time to learn.

This is actually not a thing the principal needs to address. It isn’t that serious. It is, however, something the mentor teacher should discuss with them, and perhaps have. But some mentor teachers are good and some just got assigned a student teacher and really don’t care. It’s immature and too friendly on the part of the student teacher, which is a common error most student teachers have to learn from, but it is hardly the kind of boundary crossing a principal would get involved in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since this is a *student* teacher, write the principal and actual classroom teacher and ask that she be reminded about appropriate professional boundaries. Soliciting gifts from students, even “joking” is off.

I bet everyone runs when they see you coming. That would be a shitty thing to do to a student teacher. The student needs to learn how to joke around. Prepare for college professors.

It’s not for the students benefit— it’s for the student teacher with boundary issues who isn’t being corrected. Now is the right time to learn.

This is actually not a thing the principal needs to address. It isn’t that serious. It is, however, something the mentor teacher should discuss with them, and perhaps have. But some mentor teachers are good and some just got assigned a student teacher and really don’t care. It’s immature and too friendly on the part of the student teacher, which is a common error most student teachers have to learn from, but it is hardly the kind of boundary crossing a principal would get involved in.

Agree. It isn’t that serious. But I would mention it to the class teacher who is supposed to be supervising the student teacher. That teacher should counsel the student teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Student teachers are young and clueless and they all fall into the trap of weirding the kids out by trying to be friendly in a peer-like way with them to get the kids to like them. They haven’t yet figured out they’re an adult in the room who is by necessity separate and apart from the kids, so they resort to goody stuff like this thinking it’s “building relationships.” It’s harmless but they really are just figuring out how to work with kids which is why they have a mentor teacher .

-high school teacher

Another HS teacher here. This is exactly what’s going on. This young student teacher is trying to make a connection and thinks it’s their inside joke now. They don’t get that it’s become awkward for your kid. There is so much more to student teaching than the actual teaching. Tell your DD to ignore. This person is just trying to figuring out relationships with teens, which is a huge part of the job, and is misreading the situation. They are joking and do not want coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's joking. Do the both of you often have a hard time reading social queues?

Whose line is it, anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Student teachers are young and clueless and they all fall into the trap of weirding the kids out by trying to be friendly in a peer-like way with them to get the kids to like them. They haven’t yet figured out they’re an adult in the room who is by necessity separate and apart from the kids, so they resort to goody stuff like this thinking it’s “building relationships.” It’s harmless but they really are just figuring out how to work with kids which is why they have a mentor teacher .

-high school teacher

Another HS teacher here. This is exactly what’s going on. This young student teacher is trying to make a connection and thinks it’s their inside joke now. They don’t get that it’s become awkward for your kid. There is so much more to student teaching than the actual teaching. Tell your DD to ignore. This person is just trying to figuring out relationships with teens, which is a huge part of the job, and is misreading the situation. They are joking and do not want coffee.

Huh?

The STUDENT Teacher needs to learn how to do her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 17 and a senior in her English class, There’s a new student teacher in the class who leads activities in small groups and has gotten fairly friendly with DD and a few of her friends.

A few days ago, DD brought coffee to school, she doesn’t do it often.The student teacher asked if she could bring her one too. DD said “okay,” but didn’t really understand whether she was joking or serious at the time.

Since then, the student teacher has been bringing it up daily — saying things like, “Where’s my coffee?””, “when will you bring me one”, and DD usually says she forgot or was late. She genuinely can’t tell if this is sarcasm or if she’s actually expecting her to bring one. She asked me what I think, and honestly, I’m not sure either. What would you make of this?

Like your daughter and yourself, the student teacher doesn't have the social awareness to understand appropriate behavior.

Stop feeding your daughter caffeinated drinks at school.

[Anonymous]

They are just joking around. It is sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Student teachers are young and clueless and they all fall into the trap of weirding the kids out by trying to be friendly in a peer-like way with them to get the kids to like them. They haven’t yet figured out they’re an adult in the room who is by necessity separate and apart from the kids, so they resort to goody stuff like this thinking it’s “building relationships.” It’s harmless but they really are just figuring out how to work with kids which is why they have a mentor teacher .

-high school teacher

Another HS teacher here. This is exactly what’s going on. This young student teacher is trying to make a connection and thinks it’s their inside joke now. They don’t get that it’s become awkward for your kid. There is so much more to student teaching than the actual teaching. Tell your DD to ignore. This person is just trying to figuring out relationships with teens, which is a huge part of the job, and is misreading the situation. They are joking and do not want coffee.

Huh?

The STUDENT Teacher needs to learn how to do her job.

Yes. Exactly. The student teacher is trying to figure this out. Hopefully the student teacher has a good mentor who is working on all of these things. This is the point of student teaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Student teachers are young and clueless and they all fall into the trap of weirding the kids out by trying to be friendly in a peer-like way with them to get the kids to like them. They haven’t yet figured out they’re an adult in the room who is by necessity separate and apart from the kids, so they resort to goody stuff like this thinking it’s “building relationships.” It’s harmless but they really are just figuring out how to work with kids which is why they have a mentor teacher .

-high school teacher

Another HS teacher here. This is exactly what’s going on. This young student teacher is trying to make a connection and thinks it’s their inside joke now. They don’t get that it’s become awkward for your kid. There is so much more to student teaching than the actual teaching. Tell your DD to ignore. This person is just trying to figuring out relationships with teens, which is a huge part of the job, and is misreading the situation. They are joking and do not want coffee.

Huh?

The STUDENT Teacher needs to learn how to do her job.

Yeah. They ARE learning. Learning is messy and you make mistakes, like not knowing that the joke has gone on too long and just makes it awkward now. This is no different than a kid *learning* to ride a bike falling off of it because they hadn’t mastered their balance yet.

Teaching programs and schools HEAVILY push “ building relationships” without being explicit about what that looks like, and an inexperienced apprentice (which is what a student teacher is) has to feel their way around to figure out it doesn’t mean cultivating inside jokes you carry on for too long. OP’s kid is not truly suffering any harm, they’re safe and have an experienced teacher overseeing their learning. They just have someone LEARNING how to be a teacher in there as well, which will come with some missteps and awkwardness.