Husband Wants Open Relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

You can structure both of your finances to protect against this, at least to an extent.

But IMO, a relatively rare "what if" is not enough to stay in such a shit show of a relationship. There are some guarantees in this situation (he WILL sleep with someone else), but what you're grasping at is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you guys having sex a lot? Why would he want this?

Men can get steak every day and still want to go lick a cigarette ashtray. Duh. Men are dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

I bet a judge would throw that prenup out if he was the one who cheats/ed. Maybe a lawyer consult is in your immediate future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

that makes zero sense.

So, if the person is abusive (financially, mentally, emotionally, physically), and you file for divorce, it must be your fault?

We got married in our 20’s and I saw the prenup as more of a formality. I never expected to actually need to use it. I thought it was just something his parents were forcing him to do, but I did not have any reason to expect that it would be potentially weaponized against me during the marriage to excuse bad behavior.

Did you have your own lawyer?

+1 Void if she did not have her own lawyer.
Also when did you sign it? If it's too close to the wedding it's considered duress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give it to him. 90% of the time the guy can't find a girl who isn't willing without him paying. And by then, the wife has had a dozen lovers. At that point he'll be begging you to close the relationship and it'll be your decision if you even want to.

Guaranteed this guy is already sleeping with AP(s) and wants to pre-empt exposure.

[Anonymous]

I would agree honestly but only if his seeing other women was in the form of partner sharing with me. And I would have to veto the partners, check their sti tests, we both meet with the women etc.
And he would need to share me with other men. Go to sex clubs together and he pays for nannies for the kids . Sounds fun to me. Exploring bisexuality is highly stimulating and women have nicer bodies than men in my opinion.

If he just wants to date other women who are unknown to me I wouldn’t agree or at a minimum stop sleeping with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would agree honestly but only if his seeing other women was in the form of partner sharing with me. And I would have to veto the partners, check their sti tests, we both meet with the women etc.
And he would need to share me with other men. Go to sex clubs together and he pays for nannies for the kids . Sounds fun to me. Exploring bisexuality is highly stimulating and women have nicer bodies than men in my opinion.

If he just wants to date other women who are unknown to me I wouldn’t agree or at a minimum stop sleeping with him.

They have two young kids. None of this is happening. He just wants a free pass while she does all the heavy lifting at home.

OP please tell me you didn't give up your career for this a**

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would agree honestly but only if his seeing other women was in the form of partner sharing with me. And I would have to veto the partners, check their sti tests, we both meet with the women etc.
And he would need to share me with other men. Go to sex clubs together and he pays for nannies for the kids . Sounds fun to me. Exploring bisexuality is highly stimulating and women have nicer bodies than men in my opinion.

If he just wants to date other women who are unknown to me I wouldn’t agree or at a minimum stop sleeping with him.

They have two young kids. None of this is happening. He just wants a free pass while she does all the heavy lifting at home.

OP please tell me you didn't give up your career for this a**

That’s what YOU told. Did SHE try to negotiate and frame it into something fun for her ? He’s wealthy and probably has the means for the lifestyle. We don’t know what he wants. Maybe exploring variety

[Anonymous]

No. Lawyer up and divorce. He's already sleeping around. Get tested for STDs.

[Anonymous]

I’d require some counseling around this. A relationship coach that can help you sort out ethical non-monogamy. Don’t do this on your own.

Also make sure it’s what you want. I would talk to my own therapist about it in depth. If it’s something that he really wants to enhance your relationship, he’ll be open to you taking the time you need if he’s just trying to get his rocks off or wants to be with someone specific/has been unfaithful talking at all with someone is really going to be helpful

Also, I didn’t read the other pages so if this was already addressed, I do apologize.

[Anonymous]

ENM doesn’t work.

[Anonymous]

If this is coming out of left field then you can rest assured that your husband is already cheating. Proceed with that knowledge in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d require some counseling around this. A relationship coach that can help you sort out ethical non-monogamy. Don’t do this on your own.

Also make sure it’s what you want. I would talk to my own therapist about it in depth. If it’s something that he really wants to enhance your relationship, he’ll be open to you taking the time you need if he’s just trying to get his rocks off or wants to be with someone specific/has been unfaithful talking at all with someone is really going to be helpful

Also, I didn’t read the other pages so if this was already addressed, I do apologize.

No this was not addressed. Your comment is right on point. If he wants to stay married, it’s likely about some sexual phantasies or needs he can’t get fulfilled with one woman. A lot of uber wealthy men have experiences with polyamory in different shapes and it’s hard for them to stay satisfied in mono relationships.
But OP needs an open minded counselor - exploration can be pleasurable for her, too. And some couples are able to stay married long time while they invite partners a few times a year. Marriage can also be closed or they can divorce if that doesn’t work

Is he inviting her to share and enhance pleasure or just wants to date other women ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

Oof, that was a terrible way to word it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

NP here. My FIL has been divorced and remarried several times. In his last divorce, as part of the divorce agreement, his then wife negotiated an inheritance for his two kids with her via some sort of Succession show kind of post nuptial agreement to avoid this very problem. Was actually genius if you ask me (my DH is not one of those kids, and we didn’t have an issue with it anyway). The inheritance was put into a trust so if he got remarried the new wife couldn’t spend it down.

Yes, OP that is your assignment if you haven’t watched Succession, you can binge it this weekend! I am serious…when I grow up I want to play chess just like Marcia.

You are going to need a serious attorney OP. But if I were you I would ask AI some general questions (don’t prompt for anything you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with judge/jury) about the scenario and to recommend good attorneys that deal with HNW issues. Good Luck!