Husband Wants Open Relationship
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Anonymous
| My husband recently dropped a bombshell on me and asked to have an open relationship. He is telling me that he still loves me he just wants to hook up with other people but is not interested in dating anyone else. I’m really not sure what to think of this or how to respond. Just for context, I am in my 30s and we have two kids. We have been married for almost 8 years. I was very surprised about this conversation and kind of in shock, so I told him I needed some time to think. What should I say to him and how would you respond if your husband asked for permission to sleep around? |
Anonymous
| Say no |
Anonymous
| Say no. |
Anonymous
|
Don’t think I’d be willing to do that in my marriage. What is his reason for asking for this all of a sudden?
Also, even if you say no, he is likely cheating already. Just prepare accordingly. |
Anonymous
|
No. Especially if you have no interest in ENM.
Ask him what's really going on and to tell you truthfully if he has someone in mind. It's usually the beginning of the end for a pair bond. Because at a minimum people usually get crushes/limerence for new people. And that invites jealousy. It's not the deal you signed up for. |
Anonymous
|
I really don’t like how normalized polyamory has become, because really, it’s not normal and it’s unsuccessful 99% of the time.
OP, I’m willing to bet your husband already has his eye on someone and wants to cheat so is using this as a back door tactic to be able to do so. I’m really sorry, he sounds like a scumbag. |
Anonymous
| Women get blamed for a dead bedroom when it is the man's medical issues at fault. The first few things that come to mind to ask him are for a full executive workup from his primary doctor, see a urologist for a prostate check, and he should get the Parkinson's skin test. That would be my answer. |
Anonymous
| He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around. |
Anonymous
He has already had sex with someone else, OP. And it’s probably a regular thing. BTDT with my ex-wife asking this question. It didn’t end well. |
Anonymous
What a bizarre reaction. It sounds to me like his junk works perfectly fine and he’s already balls deep in someone else on the regular and this is his way of retroactively seeking permission. |
Anonymous
|
Is he hot? Super rich? If not then I’d just say sure and let him sweat because if you’re decently attractive you’ll have dates every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Call his bluff.
He probably hasn’t cheated yet but has an opportunity and wants permission. He would’ve been better off cheating and keeping it mum because now he’s basically destroying his family. |
Anonymous
| Joke is on him. It’s a lot easier for women to get laid in an open relationship than it is for a man. |
Anonymous
| I’m so sorry. You have to kick him out. Now. |
Anonymous
|
Say no.
Aside from any moral concerns, and the fact that he is wanting to break his vows and change the conditions you mutually agreed to for your relationship, he is putting your health at risk (which also jeopardizes your kids welfare). “Safe” sex is only “safer” than unprotected. While condoms can offer significant protection, they are certainly not a guarantee. I think you should carefully consider whether you can still trust your husband (maybe you can) and whether you should get tested. Do not let him pressure you into accepting something you don’t want. |
Anonymous
| You need time to think about this?? Why? |