Husband Wants Open Relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty sure my immediate reaction would be “WTF. Do we need to get you checked for a brain tumor? Or are you already cheating or just thinking about cheating? GTFO with this nonsense. Not in a million years am I staying in an open marriage and this request is making me reconsider whether you are the right partner.” That would be after I laughed at first assuming he was joking.

But really, I cannot even imagine staying together long term with a spouse who thought an open marriage was an option.

Hmmm that’s a good point. Do you think it’s possible that medication he is taking could be causing a weird personality change? He started taking testosterone because his hormone levels were low and he became depressed after his grandfather died so he started taking Wellbutrin. I don’t know how common that is, but I did read a Slate article a few months ago about medications causing changes in personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

that makes zero sense.

So, if the person is abusive (financially, mentally, emotionally, physically), and you file for divorce, it must be your fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

that makes zero sense.

So, if the person is abusive (financially, mentally, emotionally, physically), and you file for divorce, it must be your fault?

We got married in our 20’s and I saw the prenup as more of a formality. I never expected to actually need to use it. I thought it was just something his parents were forcing him to do, but I did not have any reason to expect that it would be potentially weaponized against me during the marriage to excuse bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

Ok so stay married officially until he files but don’t sleep with him again. He’ll give you a disease.

I sure hope you’re talking multiple seven figures of inheritance.

100% Happened to a friend of mine. He was sleeping around with other women and gave her an std.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

that makes zero sense.

So, if the person is abusive (financially, mentally, emotionally, physically), and you file for divorce, it must be your fault?

Not OP, but a lot of prenups do not make sense.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're an idiot to not divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're an idiot to not divorce

For real. The marriage was over the moment the husband asked for an open marriage. If she wants to inflict some pain on the way out, she should go ahead and reluctantly agree. And then insist that Tuesday and Friday evenings are free for her to date. And that the husband will be expected to pick up the kids from school and make dinner on those two nights while she goes out on dates. If she's reasonably attractive, she will have a million options. She doesn't have to sleep with them, but it will drive the husband nuts while he's doing the dishes and contemplating his poor choices and whether his affair with Susan or whatever in accounting has been worth it. The marriage is over regardless.

[Anonymous]

What’s the point of an open marriage? If you want to F other people then just become single and do what you like.

[Anonymous]

No kids? GTFO

[Anonymous]

1) he already has someone in mind
2) he may have already done something with said person
3) agree to it, go get 500 matches in 12seconds and go have some fun
4) divorce him

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t even get over the ask. I would see an attorney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

NP here. My FIL has been divorced and remarried several times. In his last divorce, as part of the divorce agreement, his then wife negotiated an inheritance for his two kids with her via some sort of Succession show kind of post nuptial agreement to avoid this very problem. Was actually genius if you ask me (my DH is not one of those kids, and we didn’t have an issue with it anyway). The inheritance was put into a trust so if he got remarried the new wife couldn’t spend it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:File for divorce.
I’m not joking. He’s already cheating and is trying to now have his cake and eat it too. He has no respect for you or your vows. Would you want to have sex with a walking STI factory?

Good point. I add another notation to my list
5) do not sleep with him again. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

that makes zero sense.

So, if the person is abusive (financially, mentally, emotionally, physically), and you file for divorce, it must be your fault?

We got married in our 20’s and I saw the prenup as more of a formality. I never expected to actually need to use it. I thought it was just something his parents were forcing him to do, but I did not have any reason to expect that it would be potentially weaponized against me during the marriage to excuse bad behavior.

Did you have your own lawyer?

[Anonymous]

Give it to him. 90% of the time the guy can't find a girl who isn't willing without him paying. And by then, the wife has had a dozen lovers. At that point he'll be begging you to close the relationship and it'll be your decision if you even want to.