Woman here earning seven figures for the first time -- plan to date only men who earn more

[Anonymous]

Why would the modal man earning 7 figures want a divorced mid forties date? Those who do will be in their 60s or older. OP use a matchmaker and good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, with all of your needs just get a matchmaker. You can certainly afford it.

Your pool will not be large so even though DC is a big metro area be open to the whole east coast.

You and your future man can afford private flights.

OP here. Lol, no, believe me, I can't afford private flights.

Ha ha. People are crazy. Private flights on a $1 million salary? Whut? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, with all of your needs just get a matchmaker. You can certainly afford it.

Your pool will not be large so even though DC is a big metro area be open to the whole east coast.

You and your future man can afford private flights.

OP here. Lol, no, believe me, I can't afford private flights.

Ha ha. People are crazy. Private flights on a $1 million salary? Whut? No.

This is a troll. Expect the private chef comments next.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is real. I'm a divorced man and I'm also a partner at a professional services firm. Doctors, lawyers, management consultants, highly paid managers, and C Suite executives often want to date me. They often talk about dating the way OP does.

It's a mix of a few things.

1. They don't want to be used for their money.
2. They don't want the awkwardness of having to change their lifestyles (especially vacation choices) because they're dating someone with much less money.
3. They can't get sexually attracted to most men with lesser careers. Yes, they can have a fling with a salsa instructor or a high school basketball coach or a chet, but they can't sustain long term attraction once the novelty is over.
4. It doesn't work socially with the friend group.

Number 3 is real and very important.

Some women get over these things by finding men who are successful in other ways: artists, professors, etc. Some women just adapt. And some hold our for the guy who checks all the boxes, with some finding the guy who checks the boxes and some spending a lot of time alone or with discreet FWBs while they look.

Regardless, one answer to OP's question is to use matchmaking services but also use Bumble and Hinge and apps like that, reading the bios closely. There are more professionally successful and wealthy men than women, and they're on the apps. Of course, many of them want younger women and are willing to date women with less lucrative or non-existent careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Start prowling for other partners at your firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is real. I'm a divorced man and I'm also a partner at a professional services firm. Doctors, lawyers, management consultants, highly paid managers, and C Suite executives often want to date me. They often talk about dating the way OP does.

It's a mix of a few things.

1. They don't want to be used for their money.
2. They don't want the awkwardness of having to change their lifestyles (especially vacation choices) because they're dating someone with much less money.
3. They can't get sexually attracted to most men with lesser careers. Yes, they can have a fling with a salsa instructor or a high school basketball coach or a chet, but they can't sustain long term attraction once the novelty is over.
4. It doesn't work socially with the friend group.

Number 3 is real and very important.

Some women get over these things by finding men who are successful in other ways: artists, professors, etc. Some women just adapt. And some hold our for the guy who checks all the boxes, with some finding the guy who checks the boxes and some spending a lot of time alone or with discreet FWBs while they look.

Regardless, one answer to OP's question is to use matchmaking services but also use Bumble and Hinge and apps like that, reading the bios closely. There are more professionally successful and wealthy men than women, and they're on the apps. Of course, many of them want younger women and are willing to date women with less lucrative or non-existent careers.

I was the man in a relationship like this. We were both 45 at the time time. I make $250k, which was a fraction of her income. She was the law firm partner with a multiple Ivy degrees (don't know what she made at the time but much more than I do). I supsect she gave me a chance and I intrigued her for a while because I have a "cool/high profile entertainment job" where I could still go to parties and impress her friends and have their dates wanting to ask me questions about work, people I know, etc.

Income disparity was a big factor in our relationship ending. I really have to get after it to make what I do with long hours and weird locations, while she can work remotely from all over the world.

I was crushed when she ended things and only had the bandwidth and desire to date under 30s without kids for a long time after.

[Anonymous]

It seems you know your reality, that the dating market for you is quite small. Absolutely use a matchmaking service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Difficult situation as your age and profession are more likely to "reduce the candidate pool" than your income threshold requirement. You present yourself as a lovely person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

You are incorrect . Look at Bezos - he married a woman slightly younger from his circle. Not all wealthy men want a second set of kids. OP should be targeting men up to 15 years older, almost empty nesters who want a partner to enjoy life.

OP doesn’t need to marry a poor man - no point. She seems to be marriage oriented and marriage is a contract so she needs to find an equal

Bezos is an aberration. Most wealthy men of a certain age follow the Bill Ackman path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol what do you look like and can you cook?

Would you ask a man who makes that much money if he can cook?

[Anonymous]

Why marry?

Just seek a good companion.

If it works you will stay together.

[Anonymous]

This post is stupid. If you make 7 figures then you know where to find your counterparts, and have better things to do than post this question here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So money is how you’ll initially judge a person’s worth? Not values like honesty and respect?

Personally, I think you’re going about this the wrong way.

Exactly. You have the resources to remove one of the dimensions (financial) from the challenge that many others face. Of course, your post indicates that you have mental hangups on money that probably close off those options. A guy teaching could make a great partner except for your ego.

[Anonymous]

As a woman who is a lot like you other than still being married—I have no idea why you’d date at all. Enjoy your life man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

Agree, they also are not looking for the type of woman who is working all the time as a law partner.