Woman here earning seven figures for the first time -- plan to date only men who earn more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

Congratulations! You just excluded federal judges from your dating pool!

Seriously though, who are the divorced women in their mid-forties at your firm dating? There's your answer. Go ask them. When I think about the women in their mid-forties at my firm, all of them are married -- some happily, including one to a federal judge; others unhappily. The one woman who divorced in her mid-forties has never dated, and she's pretty vocal about it. Meanwhile, the handful of divorced men are indeed dating younger. (In the case of one younger date, at least one of the married women partners blessed the union because she set them up.) Yes, one is extremely tall in an unusual but interesting practice area, but one is neither.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who is earning over a million is not going to want you. He is going to want someone 10-15 years younger. I suggest you look for qualities other than money if you want companionship.

OP here. I'm fine with a man who is 10 years older.

So many bitter people on this board.

NP. What people are telling you is that men who are that wealthy are going to see you as being too old for him to find desirable, no matter how old he is. A mid 40s woman is too old, and men who are earning millions of dollars every year think they can do better. They don’t need to date someone older than 30, no matter how old they are themselves. Just as your primary or only concern is that the man is super wealthy, the men you seek have the primary or only concern that the woman have youth and beauty. You don’t.

Unfortunately, this is the case. Most of the men she is targeting don't really see women her age as desirable in the same way. "Beautiful" to them means beauty+youth, not a well-preserved middle-aged woman. Youth is powerfully attractive in general, and if a man can "afford" to attract a younger, beautiful mate, he will choose to do this. They might think the high salary is a nice perk, but they'd rather have a young beauty with a lower salary than a middle-aged woman (even if she has a "beautiful face") with a high salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who is earning over a million is not going to want you. He is going to want someone 10-15 years younger. I suggest you look for qualities other than money if you want companionship.

OP here. I'm fine with a man who is 10 years older.

So many bitter people on this board.

LOL what kind of responses did you expect here? Flowery and ass kissing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP—I understand. You earn your own money, have a certain lifestyle, and you’re not interested in being a purse for someone else. At 40, I’ll assume you’re not looking to have kids so someone who can be a SAHP is not a plus for you.

It’s really hard. You need to date within your professional circle or tangent to it. People are bitter on here because they like to believe that money makes you shallow. It doesn’t. It means you have done well for yourself. You don’t have to pay for someone else.

As far as the 50 yr old men dating younger, let them. They’re not the type of person you want to be involved with. You’ll find your next partner, just not on the apps.

Good luck!

OP here. Thanks, PP, for your encouragement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who is earning over a million is not going to want you. He is going to want someone 10-15 years younger. I suggest you look for qualities other than money if you want companionship.

OP here. I'm fine with a man who is 10 years older.

So many bitter people on this board.

NP. What people are telling you is that men who are that wealthy are going to see you as being too old for him to find desirable, no matter how old he is. A mid 40s woman is too old, and men who are earning millions of dollars every year think they can do better. They don’t need to date someone older than 30, no matter how old they are themselves. Just as your primary or only concern is that the man is super wealthy, the men you seek have the primary or only concern that the woman have youth and beauty. You don’t.

Unfortunately, this is the case. Most of the men she is targeting don't really see women her age as desirable in the same way. "Beautiful" to them means beauty+youth, not a well-preserved middle-aged woman. Youth is powerfully attractive in general, and if a man can "afford" to attract a younger, beautiful mate, he will choose to do this. They might think the high salary is a nice perk, but they'd rather have a young beauty with a lower salary than a middle-aged woman (even if she has a "beautiful face") with a high salary.

OP here. As another PP said, 50+ year-old men who seek out 30 year-olds are not the type of men I would want to date anyway. There are plenty of men who are looking for an age-appropriate partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who is earning over a million is not going to want you. He is going to want someone 10-15 years younger. I suggest you look for qualities other than money if you want companionship.

OP here. I'm fine with a man who is 10 years older.

So many bitter people on this board.

NP. What people are telling you is that men who are that wealthy are going to see you as being too old for him to find desirable, no matter how old he is. A mid 40s woman is too old, and men who are earning millions of dollars every year think they can do better. They don’t need to date someone older than 30, no matter how old they are themselves. Just as your primary or only concern is that the man is super wealthy, the men you seek have the primary or only concern that the woman have youth and beauty. You don’t.

Unfortunately, this is the case. Most of the men she is targeting don't really see women her age as desirable in the same way. "Beautiful" to them means beauty+youth, not a well-preserved middle-aged woman. Youth is powerfully attractive in general, and if a man can "afford" to attract a younger, beautiful mate, he will choose to do this. They might think the high salary is a nice perk, but they'd rather have a young beauty with a lower salary than a middle-aged woman (even if she has a "beautiful face") with a high salary.

OP here. As another PP said, 50+ year-old men who seek out 30 year-olds are not the type of men I would want to date anyway. There are plenty of men who are looking for an age-appropriate partner.

Men who earn that much and are "normal" and want age appropriate partners are married. Their wives hold on to them and don't let them go. If they were never married, they are either workaholics or something else is amiss. ones who are divorced will be taking care of their kids because they are good responsible men and won't bring another woman around until kids are grown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So money is how you’ll initially judge a person’s worth?

How is this any different from how women typically date?

[Anonymous]

Woman who do you think you are?

[Anonymous]

OP - I’m in a similar boat . You won’t meet that on the apps. I recommend enrolling in yachting club, your city social and business clubs, going to more conferences where you can meet people from your circle. That’s what my early 50s wealthy friend did right after her divorce - enrolled in all university clubs etc. And she indeed met an uber wealthy CEO of an insurance company in her tennis club. He’s not without skeletons himself (is a recovered alcoholic), but he’s rich and really loves her. They are engaged now

Generally wealthy women like you get snatched by men in their circle fast - don’t listen to the PPs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I need this is likely to be a troll. My sister is a lawyer, met her teacher partner in her mid 40s after a breakup with another lawyer and is way, way happier now.

My lawyer sister dumped her man and got with another lawyer. People who like being lawyers don't get along with "civilians". It's like being in a cult.

I'm a lawyer and, while I have some colleagues who are married to lawyers, most are not. My spouse is an engineer. I personally would not want to be married to another lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So money is how you’ll initially judge a person’s worth? Not values like honesty and respect?

Personally, I think you’re going about this the wrong way.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I’m in a similar boat . You won’t meet that on the apps. I recommend enrolling in yachting club, your city social and business clubs, going to more conferences where you can meet people from your circle. That’s what my early 50s wealthy friend did right after her divorce - enrolled in all university clubs etc. And she indeed met an uber wealthy CEO of an insurance company in her tennis club. He’s not without skeletons himself (is a recovered alcoholic), but he’s rich and really loves her. They are engaged now

Generally wealthy women like you get snatched by men in their circle fast - don’t listen to the PPs

Who knowingly signs up for an alcoholic? This is your advice? Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I’m in a similar boat . You won’t meet that on the apps. I recommend enrolling in yachting club, your city social and business clubs, going to more conferences where you can meet people from your circle. That’s what my early 50s wealthy friend did right after her divorce - enrolled in all university clubs etc. And she indeed met an uber wealthy CEO of an insurance company in her tennis club. He’s not without skeletons himself (is a recovered alcoholic), but he’s rich and really loves her. They are engaged now

Generally wealthy women like you get snatched by men in their circle fast - don’t listen to the PPs

This is excellent advice. You have to be in the proper circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.