Woman here earning seven figures for the first time -- plan to date only men who earn more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So money is how you’ll initially judge a person’s worth? Not values like honesty and respect?

Personally, I think you’re going about this the wrong way.

This.

It’s not that people value money but most men have issues making less money so why go in not a relationship knowing that will be an issue, why not mitigate the issue up front by not having the issue.

Maybe non of you have made more money than your partner but it’s an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who is earning over a million is not going to want you. He is going to want someone 10-15 years younger. I suggest you look for qualities other than money if you want companionship.

OP here. I'm fine with a man who is 10 years older.

So many bitter people on this board.

NP. What people are telling you is that men who are that wealthy are going to see you as being too old for him to find desirable, no matter how old he is. A mid 40s woman is too old, and men who are earning millions of dollars every year think they can do better. They don’t need to date someone older than 30, no matter how old they are themselves. Just as your primary or only concern is that the man is super wealthy, the men you seek have the primary or only concern that the woman have youth and beauty. You don’t.

Unfortunately, this is the case. Most of the men she is targeting don't really see women her age as desirable in the same way. "Beautiful" to them means beauty+youth, not a well-preserved middle-aged woman. Youth is powerfully attractive in general, and if a man can "afford" to attract a younger, beautiful mate, he will choose to do this. They might think the high salary is a nice perk, but they'd rather have a young beauty with a lower salary than a middle-aged woman (even if she has a "beautiful face") with a high salary.

OP here. As another PP said, 50+ year-old men who seek out 30 year-olds are not the type of men I would want to date anyway. There are plenty of men who are looking for an age-appropriate partner.

Men who earn that much and are "normal" and want age appropriate partners are married. Their wives hold on to them and don't let them go. If they were never married, they are either workaholics or something else is amiss. ones who are divorced will be taking care of their kids because they are good responsible men and won't bring another woman around until kids are grown.

Or their wives died, or they cheated, or they had addiction.

You Act like every woman out there is perfect and they never get divorced because they married a nice guy and screwed it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

You are incorrect . Look at Bezos - he married a woman slightly younger from his circle. Not all wealthy men want a second set of kids. OP should be targeting men up to 15 years older, almost empty nesters who want a partner to enjoy life.

OP doesn’t need to marry a poor man - no point. She seems to be marriage oriented and marriage is a contract so she needs to find an equal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

You know it’s possible to look up to somebody and have them look up to you as well for different things.

[Anonymous]

I am cheering for Op just to prove everyone else on this board wrong. I think Op definitely has some power plays to make. Maybe country clubs or matchmakers? Or get help from wealthy friends? I think there are certainly guys looking to make power couples out there. I am not sure money needs to be the only determinant. Go after famous musicians with connections, politicians, judges, etc. They can magnify your life in ways other than money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I’m in a similar boat . You won’t meet that on the apps. I recommend enrolling in yachting club, your city social and business clubs, going to more conferences where you can meet people from your circle. That’s what my early 50s wealthy friend did right after her divorce - enrolled in all university clubs etc. And she indeed met an uber wealthy CEO of an insurance company in her tennis club. He’s not without skeletons himself (is a recovered alcoholic), but he’s rich and really loves her. They are engaged now

Generally wealthy women like you get snatched by men in their circle fast - don’t listen to the PPs

This is excellent advice. You have to be in the proper circles.

This is terrible advice. He is an alcoholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So money is how you’ll initially judge a person’s worth? Not values like honesty and respect?

Personally, I think you’re going about this the wrong way.

This.

It’s not that people value money but most men have issues making less money so why go in not a relationship knowing that will be an issue, why not mitigate the issue up front by not having the issue.

Maybe non of you have made more money than your partner but it’s an issue.

People say this but I know plenty of men who are happy to support their partners. My kid has a friend where the mom is an awesome engineer with a crazy resume and the Dad brags about how awesome his wife is. My brother's wife is a CFO of a company and he's supported her every step of the way since college, taking the kids on trips so she could do her licensing exams in peace.

[Anonymous]

What an exhausting thread for a person who is definitely not a troll because this is a real problem and hard to manage.

I would say to you OP that I might pivot slightly… You’re thinking a little bit that you want somebody that has comparable clout and intellectual ability, maybe? And the circle circles I run in, which are the same ones you probably do, and one example, I know two women in tech who both ended up with people high up in the government/military. So for example, one is a general (literally) at the pentagon. That guy doesn’t have any “eff you” money, but is plenty to look up to. She does bankroll a lot of their life in the sense that they live in her beautiful home in Spring Valley, but his power and travel and executive presence sets the tone for a lot as well, if that makes sense.


Anyways, they met via a work cocktail party that was for partners. That sounds like a really nice life to me. You’re dating someone powerful and intelligent and plugged in, but you can kind of bankroll your life the way you see fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I’m in a similar boat . You won’t meet that on the apps. I recommend enrolling in yachting club, your city social and business clubs, going to more conferences where you can meet people from your circle. That’s what my early 50s wealthy friend did right after her divorce - enrolled in all university clubs etc. And she indeed met an uber wealthy CEO of an insurance company in her tennis club. He’s not without skeletons himself (is a recovered alcoholic), but he’s rich and really loves her. They are engaged now

Generally wealthy women like you get snatched by men in their circle fast - don’t listen to the PPs

This is excellent advice. You have to be in the proper circles.

This is terrible advice. He is an alcoholic.

Recovered. There are no divorced men out there without some issues

[Anonymous]

OP, with all of your needs just get a matchmaker. You can certainly afford it.

Your pool will not be large so even though DC is a big metro area be open to the whole east coast.

You and your future man can afford private flights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I’m in a similar boat . You won’t meet that on the apps. I recommend enrolling in yachting club, your city social and business clubs, going to more conferences where you can meet people from your circle. That’s what my early 50s wealthy friend did right after her divorce - enrolled in all university clubs etc. And she indeed met an uber wealthy CEO of an insurance company in her tennis club. He’s not without skeletons himself (is a recovered alcoholic), but he’s rich and really loves her. They are engaged now

Generally wealthy women like you get snatched by men in their circle fast - don’t listen to the PPs

This is excellent advice. You have to be in the proper circles.

This is terrible advice. He is an alcoholic.

Recovered. There are no divorced men out there without some issues

Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What an exhausting thread for a person who is definitely not a troll because this is a real problem and hard to manage.

I would say to you OP that I might pivot slightly… You’re thinking a little bit that you want somebody that has comparable clout and intellectual ability, maybe? And the circle circles I run in, which are the same ones you probably do, and one example, I know two women in tech who both ended up with people high up in the government/military. So for example, one is a general (literally) at the pentagon. That guy doesn’t have any “eff you” money, but is plenty to look up to. She does bankroll a lot of their life in the sense that they live in her beautiful home in Spring Valley, but his power and travel and executive presence sets the tone for a lot as well, if that makes sense.


Anyways, they met via a work cocktail party that was for partners. That sounds like a really nice life to me. You’re dating someone powerful and intelligent and plugged in, but you can kind of bankroll your life the way you see fit.

OP here. I agree, PP, this is a great approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I’m in a similar boat . You won’t meet that on the apps. I recommend enrolling in yachting club, your city social and business clubs, going to more conferences where you can meet people from your circle. That’s what my early 50s wealthy friend did right after her divorce - enrolled in all university clubs etc. And she indeed met an uber wealthy CEO of an insurance company in her tennis club. He’s not without skeletons himself (is a recovered alcoholic), but he’s rich and really loves her. They are engaged now

Generally wealthy women like you get snatched by men in their circle fast - don’t listen to the PPs

This is excellent advice. You have to be in the proper circles.

This is terrible advice. He is an alcoholic.

Recovered. There are no divorced men out there without some issues

This is a really big one. No way should someone knowingly sign up for this. Even if he is rich. What a miserable life.

OP - just date lawyers. They are everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, with all of your needs just get a matchmaker. You can certainly afford it.

Your pool will not be large so even though DC is a big metro area be open to the whole east coast.

You and your future man can afford private flights.

OP here. Lol, no, believe me, I can't afford private flights.

[Anonymous]

I think most people want someone to care about them as a person instead of items on a checklist.