Woman here earning seven figures for the first time -- plan to date only men who earn more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

So you still want to be the little woman in the relationship. That’s so effed up.

This. Wanting to "look up" to someone when you're in your 40s? Sounds like you need therapy.

Also, the kind of wealthy men who are looking for a support type partner aren't looking for someone in their 40s. This kind of man either is married to the woman he married decades ago or he's divorced and will remarry a woman who is much younger.

You are incorrect . Look at Bezos - he married a woman slightly younger from his circle. Not all wealthy men want a second set of kids. OP should be targeting men up to 15 years older, almost empty nesters who want a partner to enjoy life.

OP doesn’t need to marry a poor man - no point. She seems to be marriage oriented and marriage is a contract so she needs to find an equal

Bezos is an aberration. Most wealthy men of a certain age follow the Bill Ackman path.

Either way, it is worth mentioning both Bezos and Ackman married slightly younger and married women who work, which is important to them, but in something interesting and with some flexibility , not something like biglaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is real. I'm a divorced man and I'm also a partner at a professional services firm. Doctors, lawyers, management consultants, highly paid managers, and C Suite executives often want to date me. They often talk about dating the way OP does.

It's a mix of a few things.

1. They don't want to be used for their money.
2. They don't want the awkwardness of having to change their lifestyles (especially vacation choices) because they're dating someone with much less money.
3. They can't get sexually attracted to most men with lesser careers. Yes, they can have a fling with a salsa instructor or a high school basketball coach or a chet, but they can't sustain long term attraction once the novelty is over.
4. It doesn't work socially with the friend group.

Number 3 is real and very important.

Some women get over these things by finding men who are successful in other ways: artists, professors, etc. Some women just adapt. And some hold our for the guy who checks all the boxes, with some finding the guy who checks the boxes and some spending a lot of time alone or with discreet FWBs while they look.

Regardless, one answer to OP's question is to use matchmaking services but also use Bumble and Hinge and apps like that, reading the bios closely. There are more professionally successful and wealthy men than women, and they're on the apps. Of course, many of them want younger women and are willing to date women with less lucrative or non-existent careers.

Interesting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

Your POV is statistically wrong but at the end of the day, its your dating life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer in my mid-forties, and for the first time I average low seven figures. My XH consistently made low seven figures, too (not lawyer). I plan to start dating soon after having gotten out of my 20 year marriage.

Partly because of his earning history, but now especially because of my own, I cannot imagine dating a man who earns less (either through his work or passive income). I realize that this will hugely reduce the candidate pool.

Are there any dating sites where people are pre-selected based on income and/or assets?

Why though?

OP here. I can't imagine the guy earning less for two reasons: the guy will have an inferiority complex, and because I like myself in a supporting role, just like in my previous marriage. I prefer someone successful to whom I can look up. From my point of view earning $1m+ per year is not a huge achievement, so that is my minimum standard.

Oh you are definitely a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So money is how you’ll initially judge a person’s worth? Not values like honesty and respect?

Personally, I think you’re going about this the wrong way.

Exactly. You have the resources to remove one of the dimensions (financial) from the challenge that many others face. Of course, your post indicates that you have mental hangups on money that probably close off those options. A guy teaching could make a great partner except for your ego.

That’s how I would handle it! If I had that salary, I wouldn’t have to worry about financial security. I’d be setting my sights on finding a supportive, respectful partner with whom I could share my life.

OP, you’re too driven by money. It doesn’t make a person more intelligent, more respectful, more appealing. It just makes them more rich, and that’s not as impressive as the other characteristics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, you’re too driven by money. It doesn’t make a person more intelligent, more respectful, more appealing. It just makes them more rich, and that’s not as impressive as the other characteristics.

OP here. If I were a man, women would consider me a great catch. Instead, I am being criticized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is real. I'm a divorced man and I'm also a partner at a professional services firm. Doctors, lawyers, management consultants, highly paid managers, and C Suite executives often want to date me. They often talk about dating the way OP does.

It's a mix of a few things.

1. They don't want to be used for their money.
2. They don't want the awkwardness of having to change their lifestyles (especially vacation choices) because they're dating someone with much less money.
3. They can't get sexually attracted to most men with lesser careers. Yes, they can have a fling with a salsa instructor or a high school basketball coach or a chet, but they can't sustain long term attraction once the novelty is over.
4. It doesn't work socially with the friend group.

Number 3 is real and very important.

Some women get over these things by finding men who are successful in other ways: artists, professors, etc. Some women just adapt. And some hold our for the guy who checks all the boxes, with some finding the guy who checks the boxes and some spending a lot of time alone or with discreet FWBs while they look.

Regardless, one answer to OP's question is to use matchmaking services but also use Bumble and Hinge and apps like that, reading the bios closely. There are more professionally successful and wealthy men than women, and they're on the apps. Of course, many of them want younger women and are willing to date women with less lucrative or non-existent careers.

OP here. PP, you have nailed it. All the others who say I should settle down with a nice teacher don't get it.

I can definitely hold out looking for the right one to come along. I don't need to settle, and not interested in fwb.

To those who ask why date at all, I, want a companion and affection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP, you’re too driven by money. It doesn’t make a person more intelligent, more respectful, more appealing. It just makes them more rich, and that’s not as impressive as the other characteristics.

OP here. If I were a man, women would consider me a great catch. Instead, I am being criticized.

A man would be a total ahole if he said he would only date women who made 7 figures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP, you’re too driven by money. It doesn’t make a person more intelligent, more respectful, more appealing. It just makes them more rich, and that’s not as impressive as the other characteristics.

OP here. If I were a man, women would consider me a great catch. Instead, I am being criticized.

We don't know if you're a great catch for a wealthy man because we don't know what you look like beyond what you've self-reported.

[Anonymous]

Don't complain when he doesn't spend enough time with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is real. I'm a divorced man and I'm also a partner at a professional services firm. Doctors, lawyers, management consultants, highly paid managers, and C Suite executives often want to date me. They often talk about dating the way OP does.

It's a mix of a few things.

1. They don't want to be used for their money.
2. They don't want the awkwardness of having to change their lifestyles (especially vacation choices) because they're dating someone with much less money.
3. They can't get sexually attracted to most men with lesser careers. Yes, they can have a fling with a salsa instructor or a high school basketball coach or a chet, but they can't sustain long term attraction once the novelty is over.
4. It doesn't work socially with the friend group.

Number 3 is real and very important.

Some women get over these things by finding men who are successful in other ways: artists, professors, etc. Some women just adapt. And some hold our for the guy who checks all the boxes, with some finding the guy who checks the boxes and some spending a lot of time alone or with discreet FWBs while they look.

Regardless, one answer to OP's question is to use matchmaking services but also use Bumble and Hinge and apps like that, reading the bios closely. There are more professionally successful and wealthy men than women, and they're on the apps. Of course, many of them want younger women and are willing to date women with less lucrative or non-existent careers.

OP here. PP, you have nailed it. All the others who say I should settle down with a nice teacher don't get it.

I can definitely hold out looking for the right one to come along. I don't need to settle, and not interested in fwb.

To those who ask why date at all, I, want a companion and affection.

It’s humorous that the two of you think teaching is a “lesser” career. Try it for 2 days and then get back to us.

I’m going to be honest with you, OP. I don’t think you’ve offered much on this thread. You have said you’re attractive and wealthy. Okay, that’s great. But are you respectable? Honest? Kind? Service-oriented? Humorous? Intelligent? Do you have interesting hobbies? Useful skill sets? Can I have an interesting conversation with you? Would I want to introduce you to people I care about?

Merely having money in the bank tells me very little about you. Many people amass money and they are far less interesting than those teachers you have decided are beneath you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is real. I'm a divorced man and I'm also a partner at a professional services firm. Doctors, lawyers, management consultants, highly paid managers, and C Suite executives often want to date me. They often talk about dating the way OP does.

It's a mix of a few things.

1. They don't want to be used for their money.
2. They don't want the awkwardness of having to change their lifestyles (especially vacation choices) because they're dating someone with much less money.
3. They can't get sexually attracted to most men with lesser careers. Yes, they can have a fling with a salsa instructor or a high school basketball coach or a chet, but they can't sustain long term attraction once the novelty is over.
4. It doesn't work socially with the friend group.

Number 3 is real and very important.

Some women get over these things by finding men who are successful in other ways: artists, professors, etc. Some women just adapt. And some hold our for the guy who checks all the boxes, with some finding the guy who checks the boxes and some spending a lot of time alone or with discreet FWBs while they look.

Regardless, one answer to OP's question is to use matchmaking services but also use Bumble and Hinge and apps like that, reading the bios closely. There are more professionally successful and wealthy men than women, and they're on the apps. Of course, many of them want younger women and are willing to date women with less lucrative or non-existent careers.

OP here. PP, you have nailed it. All the others who say I should settle down with a nice teacher don't get it.

I can definitely hold out looking for the right one to come along. I don't need to settle, and not interested in fwb.

To those who ask why date at all, I, want a companion and affection.

It’s humorous that the two of you think teaching is a “lesser” career. Try it for 2 days and then get back to us.

I’m going to be honest with you, OP. I don’t think you’ve offered much on this thread. You have said you’re attractive and wealthy. Okay, that’s great. But are you respectable? Honest? Kind? Service-oriented? Humorous? Intelligent? Do you have interesting hobbies? Useful skill sets? Can I have an interesting conversation with you? Would I want to introduce you to people I care about?

Merely having money in the bank tells me very little about you. Many people amass money and they are far less interesting than those teachers you have decided are beneath you.

I'm also the person OP is insulting and I never said she should settle down with a nice teacher, I'm saying my lawyer sister was way happier with her teacher spouse than her BigLaw ex.

But my sister does also have a personality and isn't the kind of person to sneer at a guy who dedicated his life to public service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is real. I'm a divorced man and I'm also a partner at a professional services firm. Doctors, lawyers, management consultants, highly paid managers, and C Suite executives often want to date me. They often talk about dating the way OP does.

It's a mix of a few things.

1. They don't want to be used for their money.
2. They don't want the awkwardness of having to change their lifestyles (especially vacation choices) because they're dating someone with much less money.
3. They can't get sexually attracted to most men with lesser careers. Yes, they can have a fling with a salsa instructor or a high school basketball coach or a chet, but they can't sustain long term attraction once the novelty is over.
4. It doesn't work socially with the friend group.

Number 3 is real and very important.

Some women get over these things by finding men who are successful in other ways: artists, professors, etc. Some women just adapt. And some hold our for the guy who checks all the boxes, with some finding the guy who checks the boxes and some spending a lot of time alone or with discreet FWBs while they look.

Regardless, one answer to OP's question is to use matchmaking services but also use Bumble and Hinge and apps like that, reading the bios closely. There are more professionally successful and wealthy men than women, and they're on the apps. Of course, many of them want younger women and are willing to date women with less lucrative or non-existent careers.

OP here. PP, you have nailed it. All the others who say I should settle down with a nice teacher don't get it.

I can definitely hold out looking for the right one to come along. I don't need to settle, and not interested in fwb.

To those who ask why date at all, I, want a companion and affection.

It’s humorous that the two of you think teaching is a “lesser” career. Try it for 2 days and then get back to us.

I’m going to be honest with you, OP. I don’t think you’ve offered much on this thread. You have said you’re attractive and wealthy. Okay, that’s great. But are you respectable? Honest? Kind? Service-oriented? Humorous? Intelligent? Do you have interesting hobbies? Useful skill sets? Can I have an interesting conversation with you? Would I want to introduce you to people I care about?

Merely having money in the bank tells me very little about you. Many people amass money and they are far less interesting than those teachers you have decided are beneath you.

I'm also the person OP is insulting and I never said she should settle down with a nice teacher, I'm saying my lawyer sister was way happier with her teacher spouse than her BigLaw ex.

But my sister does also have a personality and isn't the kind of person to sneer at a guy who dedicated his life to public service.

And there’s the difference. Your sister clearly saw the person and not merely the money.

I’m glad it worked out for her!

[Anonymous]

Dear OP: I make $160k as a mechanical engineer and I’m a better husband than you could ever dream of having.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is real. I'm a divorced man and I'm also a partner at a professional services firm. Doctors, lawyers, management consultants, highly paid managers, and C Suite executives often want to date me. They often talk about dating the way OP does.

It's a mix of a few things.

1. They don't want to be used for their money.
2. They don't want the awkwardness of having to change their lifestyles (especially vacation choices) because they're dating someone with much less money.
3. They can't get sexually attracted to most men with lesser careers. Yes, they can have a fling with a salsa instructor or a high school basketball coach or a chet, but they can't sustain long term attraction once the novelty is over.
4. It doesn't work socially with the friend group.

Number 3 is real and very important.

Some women get over these things by finding men who are successful in other ways: artists, professors, etc. Some women just adapt. And some hold our for the guy who checks all the boxes, with some finding the guy who checks the boxes and some spending a lot of time alone or with discreet FWBs while they look.

Regardless, one answer to OP's question is to use matchmaking services but also use Bumble and Hinge and apps like that, reading the bios closely. There are more professionally successful and wealthy men than women, and they're on the apps. Of course, many of them want younger women and are willing to date women with less lucrative or non-existent careers.

Some women spend time in closed sex clubs with likely minded wealthy men…. There is a thing in NYC (as well as some West Coast areas). I was part of something like that until my primary decided he didn’t want me to sleep with other men (but he would continue inviting women )