Why can’t men just…be better?

[Anonymous]

We live in an affluent area. The guys around me seem good. I have two sons. Both are good looking, smart and athletic. All their friends are all good looking and will probably be good catches one day.

DH earns a seven figure income. His work is full of decent men. DH and I both attended top colleges and grad schools, both full of great men. The wives of these men are usually attractive and smart.

Dating is like musical chairs. One day you may not have a match if all the chairs get taken.

[Anonymous]

I don’t agree that functional men are rare.

Where are you looking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy question. The same sense of entitlement that led them to never excel in the first place keeps them from improving themselves. They feel they are owed something because other people have it.

And woman don’t think this way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in an affluent area. The guys around me seem good. I have two sons. Both are good looking, smart and athletic. All their friends are all good looking and will probably be good catches one day.

DH earns a seven figure income. His work is full of decent men. DH and I both attended top colleges and grad schools, both full of great men. The wives of these men are usually attractive and smart.

Dating is like musical chairs. One day you may not have a match if all the chairs get taken.

Why so much emphasis on looks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dress better? Your priorities are out of wack.

No, this is a good point. Too many men are just slovenly. Like the suburban dad uniform of khaki cargo shorts, a T-shirt from college, trainers and backwards trucker cap (probably to cover their growing bald spot).

Not a lot of men out there who wear pressed trousers, a polo or button-down shirt of natural material or a quarter-zip, shoes that coordinate with their belt. It's like they're all clones. Bring back men in fedoras and three-piece suits when they're out in public, I say.

I am a guy and the dressing comment is the one OP made that I agree with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many relationship forum threads seem to devolve into the notion that “good” men (employed, functional) are rare - and I think we can all agree on that. That being the case, why can’t men just…improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them??

Why can’t women improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them?

Women are constantly doing all of the above. Single women looking for relationships are frequently advised to lose weight, dress better, improve their job/financial prospects, be friendlier, take up a hobby, go to therapy, work on themselves, etc. There are entire cottage industries dedicated to the self-improvement if women.

Men don't do this and it's rarely suggested to them. Single men looking for relationships just listen to podcasts and get red pilled.

Delusional take. Women are told to "be themselves" and that men should accept them as they are. Men are constantly told they are not good enough (like this thread) and given a laundry list of how to improve (aka supplicate to please some woman).

+1 and when they cross everything off on the list of improvements, another list of improvements is ready and waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many relationship forum threads seem to devolve into the notion that “good” men (employed, functional) are rare - and I think we can all agree on that. That being the case, why can’t men just…improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them??

Seriously?!

It because women keep rewarding their behavior by being with them. If women become more choosy then they will improve. Also, we need to raise our sons better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in an affluent area. The guys around me seem good. I have two sons. Both are good looking, smart and athletic. All their friends are all good looking and will probably be good catches one day.

DH earns a seven figure income. His work is full of decent men. DH and I both attended top colleges and grad schools, both full of great men. The wives of these men are usually attractive and smart.

Dating is like musical chairs. One day you may not have a match if all the chairs get taken.

OMG, woman! Seriously, you don’t get it. “Good looking”, “smart”, “athletic”, “attractive” - your emphasis is all wrong and on the wrong things. You’re probably raising sexist a-holes. How about “caring”, “supportive”, “loving”, “kind”, “good decision makers”, “empathetic” - these qualities are in short supply, especially in men. There are plenty of successful men who would throw a friend under a bus to benefit themselves and then treat their women like commodities to be collected - women’s job it to cook clean and look after him, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easy question. The same sense of entitlement that led them to never excel in the first place keeps them from improving themselves. They feel they are owed something because other people have it.

And woman don’t think this way?

I don’t. I see mediocre men getting promoted in the workplace all the time because they stole MY work. And I’m looked down on for complaining. They definitely have privileges that come with that penis.

[Anonymous]

It's the same reason that threads about divorce are so prevalent here. Women who are happily married don't go onto anonymous forums to vent about how terrible men are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in an affluent area. The guys around me seem good. I have two sons. Both are good looking, smart and athletic. All their friends are all good looking and will probably be good catches one day.

DH earns a seven figure income. His work is full of decent men. DH and I both attended top colleges and grad schools, both full of great men. The wives of these men are usually attractive and smart.

Dating is like musical chairs. One day you may not have a match if all the chairs get taken.

OMG, woman! Seriously, you don’t get it. “Good looking”, “smart”, “athletic”, “attractive” - your emphasis is all wrong and on the wrong things. You’re probably raising sexist a-holes. How about “caring”, “supportive”, “loving”, “kind”, “good decision makers”, “empathetic” - these qualities are in short supply, especially in men. There are plenty of successful men who would throw a friend under a bus to benefit themselves and then treat their women like commodities to be collected - women’s job it to cook clean and look after him, right?

So I have a unicorn of a husband who is an excellent provider, doting father and a strong role model for my boys. He is kind, supportive and trustworthy. I know I am lucky.

[Anonymous]

The honest answer is because many genes shouldn’t be replicated. You would think these women who are smart wouldn’t have kids with these losers, so the genes wouldn’t be replicated … but they do anyway. So we’re left to ask … why do smart women have kids with loser men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dress better? Your priorities are out of wack.

No, this is a good point. Too many men are just slovenly. Like the suburban dad uniform of khaki cargo shorts, a T-shirt from college, trainers and backwards trucker cap (probably to cover their growing bald spot).

Not a lot of men out there who wear pressed trousers, a polo or button-down shirt of natural material or a quarter-zip, shoes that coordinate with their belt. It's like they're all clones. Bring back men in fedoras and three-piece suits when they're out in public, I say.

I am a guy and the dressing comment is the one OP made that I agree with.

My husband always notices this as well. At church he says the other men all look like total slobs. And I guess they do!
The worst is when the wife is all dressed up and the husband looks like an old frat boy. But I know these guys make a lot of money so....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The honest answer is because many genes shouldn’t be replicated. You would think these women who are smart wouldn’t have kids with these losers, so the genes wouldn’t be replicated … but they do anyway. So we’re left to ask … why do smart women have kids with loser men?

+1! If your answer is because there aren’t enough non-loser men to go around, you’re right!! It’s by design. Men can have endless kids while women can’t. So it’s best to have a small number of worthy men and a larger number of worthy women, so that the best genes make it into the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in an affluent area. The guys around me seem good. I have two sons. Both are good looking, smart and athletic. All their friends are all good looking and will probably be good catches one day.

DH earns a seven figure income. His work is full of decent men. DH and I both attended top colleges and grad schools, both full of great men. The wives of these men are usually attractive and smart.

Dating is like musical chairs. One day you may not have a match if all the chairs get taken.

So do I. And 50% of these undefined “good men” are not at all active or caring fathers, husbands or managers of people at work.

But enjoy your cliches Troll.