Has anyone else just resigned to being single?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a mid 30s woman who has never married. At this point I’m not interested in dating. The dating apps are off the phone and if I just live by myself forever and never date again I’m very okay with that. A few male friends seem to be doing this same thing. Anyone else just over it? [/quote]
I'm with you, but for very different reasons. I'm 40, very happily going through a divorce, and determined never to let another man into my life or house. Men are a massive waste of time. The whole time I was married, I felt anything else in the world would have been a better use of my life than dealing with my MIL's poorly raised idiot son. Unfortunately, the majority of men are someone's poorly raised idiot son. My life is worth more. All a man can do for me at this point is provide sex--and it better be good or I'm stopping midstream and showing him the door--and then get lost.[/quote]

Wow. You must make your mother so proud. [/quote]

Mother of a daughter here— I’d be proud of my daughter for knowing her worth and not excusing/pandering to mediocre men! I’m so sorry for any daughters (or DiL) you have that you feel differently.[/quote]

I'd hope my kid would be able to spot a mediocre person before they were in the same bed, but you can set your standards where you like. Claiming all a man can "do for" you is "provide sex" is the exact sort of objectification women are always furious about. How is that an okay thing to do to men?[/quote]
NP. Great job being a pick-me for men who don't know you're defending them and wouldn't care a bit about you if they did know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mid 30s woman who has never married. At this point I’m not interested in dating. The dating apps are off the phone and if I just live by myself forever and never date again I’m very okay with that. A few male friends seem to be doing this same thing. Anyone else just over it?

I'm with you, but for very different reasons. I'm 40, very happily going through a divorce, and determined never to let another man into my life or house. Men are a massive waste of time. The whole time I was married, I felt anything else in the world would have been a better use of my life than dealing with my MIL's poorly raised idiot son. Unfortunately, the majority of men are someone's poorly raised idiot son. My life is worth more. All a man can do for me at this point is provide sex--and it better be good or I'm stopping midstream and showing him the door--and then get lost.

Wow. You must make your mother so proud.

Mother of a daughter here— I’d be proud of my daughter for knowing her worth and not excusing/pandering to mediocre men! I’m so sorry for any daughters (or DiL) you have that you feel differently.

I'd hope my kid would be able to spot a mediocre person before they were in the same bed, but you can set your standards where you like. Claiming all a man can "do for" you is "provide sex" is the exact sort of objectification women are always furious about. How is that an okay thing to do to men?

NP. Great job being a pick-me for men who don't know you're defending them and wouldn't care a bit about you if they did know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mid 30s woman who has never married. At this point I’m not interested in dating. The dating apps are off the phone and if I just live by myself forever and never date again I’m very okay with that. A few male friends seem to be doing this same thing. Anyone else just over it?

I'm with you, but for very different reasons. I'm 40, very happily going through a divorce, and determined never to let another man into my life or house. Men are a massive waste of time. The whole time I was married, I felt anything else in the world would have been a better use of my life than dealing with my MIL's poorly raised idiot son. Unfortunately, the majority of men are someone's poorly raised idiot son. My life is worth more. All a man can do for me at this point is provide sex--and it better be good or I'm stopping midstream and showing him the door--and then get lost.

Why are you blaming his mom for his poor behavior?
Is your mom responsible for you picking a dud?

You raise a fair point. I left out a culprit. His trashy, draft-dodging coward of a father, who should have made the world a better place by being cannon fodder in Vietnam, is the MOST to blame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mid 30s woman who has never married. At this point I’m not interested in dating. The dating apps are off the phone and if I just live by myself forever and never date again I’m very okay with that. A few male friends seem to be doing this same thing. Anyone else just over it?

I'm with you, but for very different reasons. I'm 40, very happily going through a divorce, and determined never to let another man into my life or house. Men are a massive waste of time. The whole time I was married, I felt anything else in the world would have been a better use of my life than dealing with my MIL's poorly raised idiot son. Unfortunately, the majority of men are someone's poorly raised idiot son. My life is worth more. All a man can do for me at this point is provide sex--and it better be good or I'm stopping midstream and showing him the door--and then get lost.

Why are you blaming his mom for his poor behavior?
Is your mom responsible for you picking a dud?

You raise a fair point. I left out a culprit. His trashy, draft-dodging coward of a father, who should have made the world a better place by being cannon fodder in Vietnam, is the MOST to blame.

You're a very sick person .I'm inclined to believe you're trolling a man trolling doing your best version of what you think the angry feminist is.
Troll or real you need help. Happy people don't behave like this.

[Anonymous]

Glad you’re doing what’s best for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm with you, but for very different reasons. I'm 40, very happily going through a divorce, and determined never to let another man into my life or house. Men are a massive waste of time. The whole time I was married, I felt anything else in the world would have been a better use of my life than dealing with my MIL's poorly raised idiot son. Unfortunately, the majority of men are someone's poorly raised idiot son. My life is worth more. All a man can do for me at this point is provide sex--and it better be good or I'm stopping midstream and showing him the door--and then get lost.

I’m in the same boat, mid divorce, can’t imagine ever living with someone again. I’m loving my life right now. My dog is much more loyal than my ex and when he snores i think it’s cute instead of wanting to smother him with a pillow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mid 30s woman who has never married. At this point I’m not interested in dating. The dating apps are off the phone and if I just live by myself forever and never date again I’m very okay with that. A few male friends seem to be doing this same thing. Anyone else just over it?

Many young women in my circle want to stay single, they are beautiful, smart and successful and enjoy life and independence. I can't say if they'll regret it in middle age or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mid 30s woman who has never married. At this point I’m not interested in dating. The dating apps are off the phone and if I just live by myself forever and never date again I’m very okay with that. A few male friends seem to be doing this same thing. Anyone else just over it?

I'm with you, but for very different reasons. I'm 40, very happily going through a divorce, and determined never to let another man into my life or house. Men are a massive waste of time. The whole time I was married, I felt anything else in the world would have been a better use of my life than dealing with my MIL's poorly raised idiot son. Unfortunately, the majority of men are someone's poorly raised idiot son. My life is worth more. All a man can do for me at this point is provide sex--and it better be good or I'm stopping midstream and showing him the door--and then get lost.

Why are you blaming his mom for his poor behavior?
Is your mom responsible for you picking a dud?

You raise a fair point. I left out a culprit. His trashy, draft-dodging coward of a father, who should have made the world a better place by being cannon fodder in Vietnam, is the MOST to blame.

You're a very sick person .I'm inclined to believe you're trolling a man trolling doing your best version of what you think the angry feminist is.
Troll or real you need help. Happy people don't behave like this.

That post struck a nerve, huh? Try to hide it better next time.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a mid 30s woman who has never married. At this point I’m not interested in dating. The dating apps are off the phone and if I just live by myself forever and never date again I’m very okay with that. A few male friends seem to be doing this same thing. Anyone else just over it? [/quote]
I'm with you, but for very different reasons. I'm 40, very happily going through a divorce, and determined never to let another man into my life or house. Men are a massive waste of time. The whole time I was married, I felt anything else in the world would have been a better use of my life than dealing with my MIL's poorly raised idiot son. Unfortunately, the majority of men are someone's poorly raised idiot son. My life is worth more. All a man can do for me at this point is provide sex--and it better be good or I'm stopping midstream and showing him the door--and then get lost.[/quote]

Wow. You must make your mother so proud. [/quote]

Mother of a daughter here— I’d be proud of my daughter for knowing her worth and not excusing/pandering to mediocre men! I’m so sorry for any daughters (or DiL) you have that you feel differently.[/quote]

I'd hope my kid would be able to spot a mediocre person before they were in the same bed, but you can set your standards where you like. Claiming all a man can "do for" you is "provide sex" is the exact sort of objectification women are always furious about. How is that an okay thing to do to men?[/quote]
NP. Great job being a pick-me for men who don't know you're defending them and wouldn't care a bit about you if they did know [/quote]

Sorry your mom didn't teach you how to have a conversation without calling names, either. Enjoy your day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Unfortunately, the majority of men are someone's poorly raised idiot son.

Apparently the majority of women are completely screwing up the raising of their children.

Or maybe, if you meet one man who is a poorly raised idiot, the problem was him, but if the majority of men you meet are poorly raised idiots, the problem is you.

I see someone's poorly raised idiot son has entered the chat. If you weren't such a mouth breather, it would occur to you that adult males being such useless wastes of space piss is why their sons continue to be damaged. It wasn't your mom's job to teach you how to be a man.

You need to calm down.

-a woman (and the pp has a point: one is a fluke, but if "the majority" of the men you're attracted to are "someone's poorly raised idiot son", the common factor there is YOU).

Masterful defense. Your reward is having lost valuable minutes of your life. Men don't care about women like you and I certainly don't care either.

You speak for all men now? Maybe instead of arguing on the internet over things you claim to not care about, you should spend 5 quiet minutes taking some deep breaths and remembering where you and your responsibilities stop. Your arrogance is probably a large part of your problem with half the population.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting to me. I'm mid-40's and happily married but I am also great friends with a lot of wonderful men and while I can't imagine life without my husband (and I don't want to!) I also can't imagine being alone forever, especially since I know so many great men, some of whom are married so obviously I am not talking about blowing up someone's marriage, but others are single (divorced). I understand the complexities of relationships, especially if you both have kids, and I'm not saying I'd get married again, but I would definitely enjoy the company of some of my friends if I weren't married. Maybe I'm lucky that I've never been with a dud and am surrounded by great men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not "resigned" to it. I like being single. I make all the choices, I get what I want, nobody has any standing to have an opinion about how I live my life... Being single is pretty great. I don't get lonely because I have work to do and friends and a hobby (several, actually) that I love. I have pets for generic affection. I've always been able to get myself off just fine, and the thought of having another human around to "provide sex" is disgustingly transactional to me (not judging; you do you/yours however you like, provided it's consensual).

I've been happily single for long enough that it would take a minor miracle for me to ever couple up again. I'm not inherently opposed, but a potential partner's presence has to be better than my solitude. I don't need someone to complete me, or pay for me, or take care of me. I don't want someone who needs to be completed, or carried, or managed. That's a pretty slim window of opportunity. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I'm good. I'm definitely not looking to give up my solitude to whatever nonsense headgames people are playing on dating apps and the like. I'm old-fashioned, or maybe just old, but OLD isn't for me.

Have you ever had a great romantic relationship? That's the part I would have a hard time living without. I love being in love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mid 30s woman who has never married. At this point I’m not interested in dating. The dating apps are off the phone and if I just live by myself forever and never date again I’m very okay with that. A few male friends seem to be doing this same thing. Anyone else just over it?

Of course. We call them “old maids.” The male versions are “confirmed bachelors.”

They call me a “spinster.”

I was 32 when I got married in a British Commonwealth country and our wedding license listed my husband as a bachelor and me as a spinster. I thought it was hysterical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts make me sad, having a life partner is a really incredible thing. Besides companionship, sex, etc., relationships stretch you and make you grow as a person in a way that nothing else can. It’s true there are trade offs … you might actually have to make compromises and not do what you want to do all the time, and there may be times when you actually feel like you’re pulling much more than your weight (gasp!), and you need to be OK. Marriages are built over msny years, rough patches happen and are to be expected. But in my opinion it’s worth it. We are growing up in a time where selfishness is praised as a virtue. Yes, an abusive relationship would suck, but not all relationships are abusive just because they involve compromise. Sure, most people you meet you won’t be compatible with, but sometimes things that are worth having to work. It’s worth it to actively seek out a good partner. Don’t throw the baby out the bathwater.

If your marriage was so great, you'd be secure in that instead of trying to recruit to the thankless ordeal that heterosexual marriage is for women. Misery loves company and you, my poor dear, are miserable. I've been there. I sang the praises of marriage hardest when I used to fantasize about my ex being hit by a bus.

NP but I'm in a happy marriage and I think it's sad that you can't recognize that they exist. That's YOUR issue, but you'd rather project onto the PP. Talk about misery loving company... If you're so happy being single then why are you being so mean?

[Anonymous]

For women who pay attention to how men move in real life (not in movies, fiction, romantic songs, etc), these conclusions (better to be single, prioritizing themselves, etc) make a ton of sense, whether you agree or not.