AITA for blowing up after someone pushed a hot-button issue in my own home?

[Anonymous]

It appears that you did nothing wrong here.

Don’t worry.

[Anonymous]

I have known people like this - - they just LOVE being antagonistic for a living!?

Count your blessings

[Anonymous]

Pro tip: rather than blowing up (which will make you look aggressive and crazy), it’s better to calmly say, “Dave, please drop it. You know I find this topic upsetting for obvious reasons, please just stop.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

[Anonymous]

I lit into my mom after I’d had enough of her narcissistic crap. Felt good. And that I’d put up w it for too long. Actions have consequences.
I suppose I could have ended the relationship and walked away quietly.
Instead I let her know how I feel and now I live a life of peace without her in it. And I have no shred of guilt about it except that I should have done it years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

Being angry is fine. Blowing up is not. You would be wrong too, as is the person pushing the buttons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: rather than blowing up (which will make you look aggressive and crazy), it’s better to calmly say, “Dave, please drop it. You know I find this topic upsetting for obvious reasons, please just stop.”

I’ve been in op’s shoes. This doesn’t work. That’s seen as an invitation to keep talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

Being angry is fine. Blowing up is not. You would be wrong too, as is the person pushing the buttons.

NP. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with blowing up.

DCUM is full of status-anxious people who are passive-aggressive in all circumstances. Anyone - particularly a woman - who aggressively identifies odious behavior is acting correctly. Most responders here are cowards and are people that don’t matter in any level to anyone.

You’re good, OP. Never interact with the offender. Never invite them, do not socialize, assist on any level, or speak with them. Any mutuals who ask about this get the same simplified response: X was saying cruel things about your child and you’ve had enough, and it’s over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: rather than blowing up (which will make you look aggressive and crazy), it’s better to calmly say, “Dave, please drop it. You know I find this topic upsetting for obvious reasons, please just stop.”

I’ve been in op’s shoes. This doesn’t work. That’s seen as an invitation to keep talking.

It works for me.

If it continues, then you say something like:

“Geez, Dave. Enough already. I’ve politely asked you to drop it. Moving on.” Then talk to others snd ignore him.

You calmly paint him as the obnoxious aggressor. Bonus points if you can do it with a smile on your face in a humorous way at his expense.

“Dave, I love you, but I’m starting to worry that you might have had a stroke or suffered a brain injury.”

“I know you are eager to debate this, but I just don’t have the energy. So how about all of just agree that Dave is right about everything and then we can move on.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone should be trying to provoke you on purpose, but I'm struggling to think of something that isn't overtly political that would be that upsetting. Was it worth it? Could you have just rolled your eyes and walked away?

It involves something related to my child. I truly did try to ignore it, but they kept challenging me in a hostile way. Once I realized they were likely trying to get a rise out of me, I snapped and figured I should give them what they wanted.

It's hard to tell with the vagueposting, but I definitely lean towards you not being in the wrong here/they got exactly what they wanted - you to blow up at them so they could go tell mutual friends you blew up at them.

I assume your mutual friends are aware of the provocative issue so I'd tell them that Larla came over, kept baiting you about little Susie's dance performance, and you unfortunately lost your temper. Case closed.

And now all of OPs friends think she is an unstable hothead and are laughing about her.

Just like we all do regarding people who have the emotional regulation of toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: rather than blowing up (which will make you look aggressive and crazy), it’s better to calmly say, “Dave, please drop it. You know I find this topic upsetting for obvious reasons, please just stop.”

I’ve been in op’s shoes. This doesn’t work. That’s seen as an invitation to keep talking.

How odd.

I’ve never had this technique not work, and I’ve seen it deployed by others and it also always works. Are you posting from a penitentiary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: rather than blowing up (which will make you look aggressive and crazy), it’s better to calmly say, “Dave, please drop it. You know I find this topic upsetting for obvious reasons, please just stop.”

I’ve been in op’s shoes. This doesn’t work. That’s seen as an invitation to keep talking.

How odd.

I’ve never had this technique not work, and I’ve seen it deployed by others and it also always works. Are you posting from a penitentiary?

You’re showing why this doesn’t work. You live in a world where you are a b itch and it’s always okay. It’s not always going to work out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: rather than blowing up (which will make you look aggressive and crazy), it’s better to calmly say, “Dave, please drop it. You know I find this topic upsetting for obvious reasons, please just stop.”

I’ve been in op’s shoes. This doesn’t work. That’s seen as an invitation to keep talking.

How odd.

I’ve never had this technique not work, and I’ve seen it deployed by others and it also always works. Are you posting from a penitentiary?

You’re showing why this doesn’t work. You live in a world where you are a b itch and it’s always okay. It’s not always going to work out for you.

But it does always work out for me.

In no small part because I am logical, rational, and even-tempered.

I’m certain that my life would indeed be much more difficult if I started shouting every time I faced a challenging situation or rude person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: rather than blowing up (which will make you look aggressive and crazy), it’s better to calmly say, “Dave, please drop it. You know I find this topic upsetting for obvious reasons, please just stop.”

I’ve been in op’s shoes. This doesn’t work. That’s seen as an invitation to keep talking.

It works for me.

If it continues, then you say something like:

“Geez, Dave. Enough already. I’ve politely asked you to drop it. Moving on.” Then talk to others snd ignore him.

You calmly paint him as the obnoxious aggressor. Bonus points if you can do it with a smile on your face in a humorous way at his expense.

“Dave, I love you, but I’m starting to worry that you might have had a stroke or suffered a brain injury.”

“I know you are eager to debate this, but I just don’t have the energy. So how about all of just agree that Dave is right about everything and then we can move on.”

If someone wants to debate me, I’ll debate them. If they are rude about it, especially in my home, I won’t be nice about it. Stand up for yourself. It’s ok to verbally destroy an a-hole. If someone says something nasty about your child, you’re going to say they’re right about everything? No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: rather than blowing up (which will make you look aggressive and crazy), it’s better to calmly say, “Dave, please drop it. You know I find this topic upsetting for obvious reasons, please just stop.”

I’ve been in op’s shoes. This doesn’t work. That’s seen as an invitation to keep talking.

It works for me.

If it continues, then you say something like:

“Geez, Dave. Enough already. I’ve politely asked you to drop it. Moving on.” Then talk to others snd ignore him.

You calmly paint him as the obnoxious aggressor. Bonus points if you can do it with a smile on your face in a humorous way at his expense.

“Dave, I love you, but I’m starting to worry that you might have had a stroke or suffered a brain injury.”

“I know you are eager to debate this, but I just don’t have the energy. So how about all of just agree that Dave is right about everything and then we can move on.”

If someone wants to debate me, I’ll debate them. If they are rude about it, especially in my home, I won’t be nice about it. Stand up for yourself. It’s ok to verbally destroy an a-hole. If someone says something nasty about your child, you’re going to say they’re right about everything? No way.

“Verbally destroy an a-hole” = make a fool of yourself