AITA for blowing up after someone pushed a hot-button issue in my own home?

[Anonymous]

I find that telling the person they are being rude usually works better than just saying you aren't willing to discuss the subject. This is done calmly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On a family vacation years ago, my dh’s (alcoholic, probably early stage dementia) uncle started telling racist jokes. My BIL said something like, “enough of the racist jokes.” Uncle starts in on the have a sense of humor, just jokes, etc. BIL yelled, “my wife is black, my kids are black, just f’ing stop with the racist jokes.” BIL is usually very mild mannered. Sometimes you have to yell.

He was protecting his kids and wife. OP's kid wasn't there and she said it wasn't something racist. I will put that in a different category than just disagreeing about vaccines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

So many people need to learn anger management. Seriously.

Why? She didn't hit, she wasn't violent. Why are you so scared of strong emotions being expressed?

She yelled and got aggressive, per her own words. Do you not consider that violent? Is it ok to scream at someone in any situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

So many people need to learn anger management. Seriously.

Anger management does not mean that you never get angry or that you suppress it all the time under every circumstance. If someone was being offensive or beligerant in my home and would not let it go after repeated attempts to make them stop nicely, I'd get mad too and probably raise my voice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

So many people need to learn anger management. Seriously.

Anger management does not mean that you never get angry or that you suppress it all the time under every circumstance. If someone was being offensive or beligerant in my home and would not let it go after repeated attempts to make them stop nicely, I'd get mad too and probably raise my voice.

OP never told them to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

I get that, but I couldn’t exactly leave. I was in my own home, and they kept poking the bear even as they gathered their shoes and belongings to leave.

You should've asked them to leave. I've done it once before when guests were getting on my nerves and had overstayed the invitation. Putting people out is liberating and establishes boundaries. I would never let a guest push my buttons in my house. If you want to argue with me, you will have to do it from the curb. You gave away your power. Why should really be your only question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a family vacation years ago, my dh’s (alcoholic, probably early stage dementia) uncle started telling racist jokes. My BIL said something like, “enough of the racist jokes.” Uncle starts in on the have a sense of humor, just jokes, etc. BIL yelled, “my wife is black, my kids are black, just f’ing stop with the racist jokes.” BIL is usually very mild mannered. Sometimes you have to yell.

He was protecting his kids and wife. OP's kid wasn't there and she said it wasn't something racist. I will put that in a different category than just disagreeing about vaccines.

OP here. I never said my kid wasn’t there. My kid was there, up in their room, and heard the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

I get that, but I couldn’t exactly leave. I was in my own home, and they kept poking the bear even as they gathered their shoes and belongings to leave.

You should've asked them to leave. I've done it once before when guests were getting on my nerves and had overstayed the invitation. Putting people out is liberating and establishes boundaries. I would never let a guest push my buttons in my house. If you want to argue with me, you will have to do it from the curb. You gave away your power. Why should really be your only question.

I did ask them to leave. They were leaving, albeit slowly, as they continued, and I had just had enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

So many people need to learn anger management. Seriously.

Anger management does not mean that you never get angry or that you suppress it all the time under every circumstance. If someone was being offensive or beligerant in my home and would not let it go after repeated attempts to make them stop nicely, I'd get mad too and probably raise my voice.

OP never told them to stop.

Perhaps. If you are clueless enough to not get when someone is trying to disengage with you and not take the bait, then I guess you also would deserve to be told forcefully to leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a family vacation years ago, my dh’s (alcoholic, probably early stage dementia) uncle started telling racist jokes. My BIL said something like, “enough of the racist jokes.” Uncle starts in on the have a sense of humor, just jokes, etc. BIL yelled, “my wife is black, my kids are black, just f’ing stop with the racist jokes.” BIL is usually very mild mannered. Sometimes you have to yell.

He was protecting his kids and wife. OP's kid wasn't there and she said it wasn't something racist. I will put that in a different category than just disagreeing about vaccines.

OP here. I never said my kid wasn’t there. My kid was there, up in their room, and heard the whole thing.

Sure, sure. You would have led with that had that been the case. In any event, lots of people have said you were wrong. Do you agree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On a family vacation years ago, my dh’s (alcoholic, probably early stage dementia) uncle started telling racist jokes. My BIL said something like, “enough of the racist jokes.” Uncle starts in on the have a sense of humor, just jokes, etc. BIL yelled, “my wife is black, my kids are black, just f’ing stop with the racist jokes.” BIL is usually very mild mannered. Sometimes you have to yell.

He was protecting his kids and wife. OP's kid wasn't there and she said it wasn't something racist. I will put that in a different category than just disagreeing about vaccines.

OP here. I never said my kid wasn’t there. My kid was there, up in their room, and heard the whole thing.

Sure, sure. You would have led with that had that been the case. In any event, lots of people have said you were wrong. Do you agree?

Lots have said she’s right. She’s not posting to interact with you in particular. You’re just a faceless dumpy DCUM prig. You are not important to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

So many people need to learn anger management. Seriously.

Why? She didn't hit, she wasn't violent. Why are you so scared of strong emotions being expressed?

She yelled and got aggressive, per her own words. Do you not consider that violent? Is it ok to scream at someone in any situation?

Dp. Yelling is not violent. Words have meaning. Words are not violence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

This! There is nothing wrong with anger. People don’t need therapy to “handle” it. If someone pushed my buttons in my own home id get angry too.

So many people need to learn anger management. Seriously.

Why? She didn't hit, she wasn't violent. Why are you so scared of strong emotions being expressed?

She yelled and got aggressive, per her own words. Do you not consider that violent? Is it ok to scream at someone in any situation?

No, yelling isn't violence. What the hell?!

[Anonymous]

Weird post. Someone was being an ass and op yelled at them. It's not like she punched anyone or like she was angry for no reason. Optimally in life nobody should ever lose their cool, but we are all human. It's not a "right or wrong" situation to ponder over and over. OP should just be glad this person gave her a clear signal they are not good to have around her family or herself, and that other person seems to also not like op so it works out just fine for everyone.

[Anonymous]

OP, these people got the better of you, and now they’re laughing at you while you feel ashamed and embarrassed.

Not even all of the validation of DCUM (which you don’t have) can help you feel better about your temper tantrum.

Practice behaving like an adult instead of a child and you will find your life magically improved.