AITA for blowing up after someone pushed a hot-button issue in my own home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a therapist and anger management, Stat.

I agree. If you fly off the handle like this and only blame the other person , you need to get yourself help.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree that you losing your cool means you are in the wrong. You reacted poorly to provocation. It just makes the other person insidious and cunning trying to trigger you, in your own home. Your reaction was a normal possible emotional response and uncalculated. Now the person is reaping the benefit: They went around town talking about your poor behavior to make you look bad. Another sign they are a pretty horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it vaccines? IVF? Religion?

I think it’s very rude to go into someone’s house and insult them. That puts you in a position where all you can do is ask them to leave—which is also rude.

It’s really hard to say if you overreacted without knowing what happened. It’s hard to imagine something non-political that would elicit such a strong response on either side.

You’ve never met my stepmother.

[Anonymous]

If I understand your situation correctly, sounds like that person was having a little fun at your expense. They wanted to rile you up. Then they didn't want to deal with the blowback.

Have no advice, but do commensurate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You DID attack them.

Yes, but only after being provoked repeatedly.

But any way, what should I do now? I’m still not exactly happy with this person for the things they said.

Get help for your anger issues. Apologize for losing your cool. You can apologize for being verbally aggressive without agreeing with them on the topic at hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone should be trying to provoke you on purpose, but I'm struggling to think of something that isn't overtly political that would be that upsetting. Was it worth it? Could you have just rolled your eyes and walked away?

It involves something related to my child. I truly did try to ignore it, but they kept challenging me in a hostile way. Once I realized they were likely trying to get a rise out of me, I snapped and figured I should give them what they wanted.

When you are telling your side to the people who contacted you, do you feel like they support your reaction or not? It's hard to say whether or not your reaction was reasonable without knowing what it was about.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get it. Sometimes, it’s just the last straw of many other conversations questioning or disapproving of your side. No one should come at you in your own home. I would just avoid this person and not allow them back. Who cares what they say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are always in the wrong for losing your temper.

Disagree.

OP was needled and provoked and the other person would not drop it. Sometimes people need a good "punch in the face" to STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You DID attack them.

Yes, but only after being provoked repeatedly.

But any way, what should I do now? I’m still not exactly happy with this person for the things they said.

Nothing. You now know what they're like and liable to say. Next time they say something provocative, you shrug and give back nonsensical answers or pretend to agree or just say, hmm. I had to learn to do this with some family members. What worked for me was realizing that I don't have to share my opinion to have it. I can be silent about it because I'm not trying to be close to them nor do I care about convincing them of anything--it's just an obligation and their opinions don't change me.

If it were a friend, I'd probably end the friendship. People who do this on purpose--and some do--are obnoxious. I don't care if they really have good intentions either ("I didn't mean it that way," etc. I question that anyway.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I understand your situation correctly, sounds like that person was having a little fun at your expense. They wanted to rile you up. Then they didn't want to deal with the blowback.

Have no advice, but do commensurate!

It was exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Nobody is in the right here, it sounds like. Probably a case where you both acted in an immature way. You probably both need to move on with your life and also look at your own behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone should be trying to provoke you on purpose, but I'm struggling to think of something that isn't overtly political that would be that upsetting. Was it worth it? Could you have just rolled your eyes and walked away?

It involves something related to my child. I truly did try to ignore it, but they kept challenging me in a hostile way. Once I realized they were likely trying to get a rise out of me, I snapped and figured I should give them what they wanted.

When you are telling your side to the people who contacted you, do you feel like they support your reaction or not? It's hard to say whether or not your reaction was reasonable without knowing what it was about.

I haven’t responded

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You DID attack them.

Yes, but only after being provoked repeatedly.

But any way, what should I do now? I’m still not exactly happy with this person for the things they said.

They don’t exist to you anymore. Done.

[Anonymous]

Everyone loses their temper every now and then. Right now it's even easier to just blow up - I get it. The fact that you are thinking about it and wondering if you were out of line is all you need to do. Learn from what happened and move on. For instance, why was this person at your house to begin with? A lost temper usually means boundaries have been neglected on your part. Mend your fence so that this person can't get back in.

[Anonymous]

Don’t invite them back. You shouldn’t have blown up at them but they shouldn’t have kept needling you either, especially in your home.