Spouse’s ex moved back, rejoined friend circle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looks like OP wants to stir the pot and the wife has her number.

Lol, this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t worry about who my spouse dated as a teen.

You should.

Of my married male friends that cheated, roughly 80% did it with their HS gfs during a rough patch in the marriage in their 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it sexist for me to say that women are too jealous? If you have been married to someone for 10 years, any are you worried about an ex? I don't get it. Nothing is going to happen. She is an ex for a reason.

Well, when I thought the OP was who she portrayed herself to be, I thought she was crazy. But after the OP revealed her true identity, I understand the wife's concern. OP and husband are both inappropriate, at the very least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t worry about who my spouse dated as a teen.

You should.

Of my married male friends that cheated, roughly 80% did it with their HS gfs during a rough patch in the marriage in their 30s.

That number sounds made-up. At best, you’re just generalizing from a handful of personal stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it sexist for me to say that women are too jealous? If you have been married to someone for 10 years, any are you worried about an ex? I don't get it. Nothing is going to happen. She is an ex for a reason.

Well, when I thought the OP was who she portrayed herself to be, I thought she was crazy. But after the OP revealed her true identity, I understand the wife's concern. OP and husband are both inappropriate, at the very least.

Yes, I feel that OP is stirring the pot and wanting to cause trouble in their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t worry about who my spouse dated as a teen.

You should.

Of my married male friends that cheated, roughly 80% did it with their HS gfs during a rough patch in the marriage in their 30s.

My HS BF really, really wanted to hook up after his divorce in his 30s. It was … weird! I totally believe this stat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t worry about who my spouse dated as a teen.

You should.

Of my married male friends that cheated, roughly 80% did it with their HS gfs during a rough patch in the marriage in their 30s.

My HS BF really, really wanted to hook up after his divorce in his 30s. It was … weird! I totally believe this stat.

+1. College boyfriend came through town when I was engaged and was definitely fishing. These guys get lazy as they age and want to revisit the past. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t worry about who my spouse dated as a teen.

You should.

Of my married male friends that cheated, roughly 80% did it with their HS gfs during a rough patch in the marriage in their 30s.

My HS BF really, really wanted to hook up after his divorce in his 30s. It was … weird! I totally believe this stat.

+1. College boyfriend came through town when I was engaged and was definitely fishing. These guys get lazy as they age and want to revisit the past. No thanks.

It goes both ways. When I heard that my college gf split from her husband, I snet her a note expresing sympathy. My D was in her mouth within two weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what ages were they in a relationship? How long did it last?

Unless there has been cheating or some reason for concern, not reasonable. If you don't trust your spouse, you don't trust them but you can't control them and cut them off from friends unless you oversee their visits.

Teens. Approximately one year.
Ex decided to leave for school.

Oh my god, this is so stupid. I thought you were talking about an ex-wife. SHUT UP, OP.

[Anonymous]

The wife is wise to be wary of you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh, so youre and wanna be fiction writer who is using us. you suck, OP. I loathe posters like OP

OP.
Fair enough. I now see where I went astray with the initial post. It was meant to be a hypothetical, in-wife's-shoes type of post, but it lost that effect towards the end when I used the word "I" for sake of clarity.
To call it fiction, however, is a reach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have a romantic and sexual history so its not like it's nothing and a decade old marriage going through a rough patch is usually a time when people confide in old or new flames.

I agree with this. My boyfriend stayed friends with an ex-girlfriend and her family that he dated for many years. I didn't really think much of it because he is super attentive and loving to me and has no romantic interest in his former girlfriend. She, on the other hand, never moved on after their breakup and still considered him her person. He ended up having to block her because she was causing drama and was jealous about me. I stayed out of it, but I admit that it made me uncomfortable.

You sure ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it sexist for me to say that women are too jealous? If you have been married to someone for 10 years, any are you worried about an ex? I don't get it. Nothing is going to happen. She is an ex for a reason.

Well, when I thought the OP was who she portrayed herself to be, I thought she was crazy. But after the OP revealed her true identity, I understand the wife's concern. OP and husband are both inappropriate, at the very least.

OP.
I actually agree with the wife. The rest of our close friends do not, so they keep stirring the pot.
I wish ex-bf had kept his mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

Groups of friends like this are always bad news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what ages were they in a relationship? How long did it last?

Unless there has been cheating or some reason for concern, not reasonable. If you don't trust your spouse, you don't trust them but you can't control them and cut them off from friends unless you oversee their visits.

Teens. Approximately one year.
Ex decided to leave for school.

Are you feeling nervous because the only reason they broke up was so ex gf could go to college, not because the relationship had run its course, and now that she’s back, you think they just might pick up where they left off?

Yes, that’s my guess.
I’m OP and actually the ex.
I moved back to our hometown after a divorce. We both have kids now and had not spoken at all since either of us got married.

You need to expand your social group beyond your hs friends.

You have no power here. I don’t understand why the guy is hanging out with a mixed-sex crowd without his wife when he has little kids at home anyway. Either way, you need more friends that don’t include these people.

Trying to meet new people but that will take some time, especially since I WFH. In the meantime, it was so easy to slide back into my friend's group. Plus, most of them have kids around the same age as mine.