Spouse’s ex moved back, rejoined friend circle

[Anonymous]

oh, so youre and wanna be fiction writer who is using us. you suck, OP. I loathe posters like OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you handle this situation?

Your spouse’s ex has moved back in town and is getting invited by mutual friends to group activities where your spouse will also be, sometimes without you. They were both part of a tight group of friends before you entered the picture. Since then, ex had fallen off the face of the earth.

They broke up over a decade ago because of the out-of-state move and never planning on moving back. Is it reasonable to ask spouse not to go out with the friend group when I’m not there? Relevant details: married 10+ years with kids and currently going through a rough patch.

It would be wise if they don't get close but that would be their choice out of caution. You can't as him to stop socializing with his friends due to your insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Here’s the twist- I’m the ex that moved back.

Trying to give the wife the benefit of the doubt, I posted from her perspective. DH has agreed not to be around me after she gave him an ultimatum.

It’s created an uncomfortable air in our friend group, especially when trying to plan events.

I was the first reply, who said reasonable lol. How do you know your ex and wife are going through a rough patch? That already suggests you are too emotionally involved.

Look, you should attend any event you want. You certainly should not have to arrange your schedule around his wife being available to babsit. But if he sits out because of an arrangement he has with his wife, that's their business and it's not for you and your friend group to take a poll and say it s wrong.

x1000% why throw in the "rough patch" stuff in your fictitious post? Is that wishful thinking. Sounds like you are angling to be a problem for this married couple. You're now divorced and think your teenage love might be the one that got away?

[Anonymous]

They have a romantic and sexual history so its not like it's nothing and a decade old marriage going through a rough patch is usually a time when people confide in old or new flames.

[Anonymous]

When a couple has exes with whom they have had romantic, sexual and emotional connections, they have a higher threat to their marriage than a couple who are each other's one and only. Yes, their partners can go for novelty but not novelty and nostalgia.

[Anonymous]

Looks like OP wants to stir the pot and the wife has her number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks like OP wants to stir the pot and the wife has her number.

Lol, this.

[Anonymous]

This is way to much drama for adults

In general it shouldn't be a problem.

But given op and the rest of the groups penchant for drama I understand the wife's urge to do this

However it's a waste of time because she chose a drama loving idiot for a husband.

[Anonymous]

So the ex is sharing private details that should have stayed between him and his wife with the friend group. Now the group is gossiping about it, and you take it one step further by posting on a message board while pretending to be the wife? You all sound toxic and childish.

[Anonymous]

This is a YOU problem OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have a romantic and sexual history so its not like it's nothing and a decade old marriage going through a rough patch is usually a time when people confide in old or new flames.

I agree with this. My boyfriend stayed friends with an ex-girlfriend and her family that he dated for many years. I didn't really think much of it because he is super attentive and loving to me and has no romantic interest in his former girlfriend. She, on the other hand, never moved on after their breakup and still considered him her person. He ended up having to block her because she was causing drama and was jealous about me. I stayed out of it, but I admit that it made me uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Is it sexist for me to say that women are too jealous? If you have been married to someone for 10 years, any are you worried about an ex? I don't get it. Nothing is going to happen. She is an ex for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have a romantic and sexual history so its not like it's nothing and a decade old marriage going through a rough patch is usually a time when people confide in old or new flames.

I agree with this. My boyfriend stayed friends with an ex-girlfriend and her family that he dated for many years. I didn't really think much of it because he is super attentive and loving to me and has no romantic interest in his former girlfriend. She, on the other hand, never moved on after their breakup and still considered him her person. He ended up having to block her because she was causing drama and was jealous about me. I stayed out of it, but I admit that it made me uncomfortable.

Wow for once a woman blaming the "other" woman lol..yay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have a romantic and sexual history so its not like it's nothing and a decade old marriage going through a rough patch is usually a time when people confide in old or new flames.

I agree with this. My boyfriend stayed friends with an ex-girlfriend and her family that he dated for many years. I didn't really think much of it because he is super attentive and loving to me and has no romantic interest in his former girlfriend. She, on the other hand, never moved on after their breakup and still considered him her person. He ended up having to block her because she was causing drama and was jealous about me. I stayed out of it, but I admit that it made me uncomfortable.

Wow for once a woman blaming the "other" woman lol..yay!

????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it sexist for me to say that women are too jealous? If you have been married to someone for 10 years, any are you worried about an ex? I don't get it. Nothing is going to happen. She is an ex for a reason.

Keep up.